Wrong to Celebrate Anniversary of Civil Marriage?

[Agent94]

My husband and I first had a civil marriage 1 1/2 years before we married in the Catholic Church. We would like to celebrate our first one (civil marriage anniversary) but we’re not sure if that’s wrong/sinful. Does the Church mention anything about this topic?

 

[PJH_74]

You are celebrating something sacred to the Church. Would you feel the same if you celebrated your engagement or first date the same way? Go ahead, have a party as far as I’m concerned.

 

[FOG]

No. Period. Don’t let it drive you crazy!

 

[FOG]

I would think it sinful. Would it not be a celebration of a sin?

Really? Go back and look at the original post. Later, they were married in the Church.

I was married in a civil marriage. It was not a sacramental marriage, and I was not a Catholic at the time. After coming into full communion with the Church, my bride of 34 years at the time, had our marriage made sacramental through Convalidation.

Original poster, while GabrielZ “would think it sinful”, don’t let that opinion make your feel guilt or remorse. Instead, (Philippians 4:4) “Rejoice in the Lord always”, and celebrate the love between you and your spouse, for the goodness Love is!

Peace and All Good!

 

[jrgmercado]

The simple answer is no…it’s not a “sin”. Celebrate. Enjoy.

 

[Sbee0]

My husband and I first had a civil marriage 1 1/2 years before we married in the Catholic Church. We would like to celebrate our first one (civil marriage anniversary) but we’re not sure if that’s wrong/sinful. Does the Church mention anything about this topic?

No it isn’t sinful. You can celebrate any occasion on any day for any reason and this is no different.

 

[Agent94]

You are celebrating something sacred to the Church. Would you feel the same if you celebrated your engagement or first date the same way? Go ahead, have a party as far as I’m concerned.

Not sure what you’re saying exactly. Is your comment supposed to be sincere or are you being sarcastic with the “Go ahead, have a party as far as I’m concerned” comment?

 

[Agent94]

We were both Catholics at the time we were civilly married. It’s a long complicated story. We basically had eloped. Because of a huge misunderstanding my family shunned me and I was about to graduate from college and had nowhere to stay and I didn’t want to live together with my husband without being married. So civil marriage was the second best we could do at the time. So there’s nothing wrong with celebrating our first marriage? I’m also worried about what our children will think since I became pregnant within weeks after we civilly married and was 3 months pregnant with our second when we married in the Church.

 

[PJH_74]

Not sure what you’re saying exactly. Is your comment supposed to be sincere or are you being sarcastic with the “Go ahead, have a party as far as I’m concerned” comment?

I’m also worried about what our children will think since I became pregnant within weeks after we civilly married and was 3 months pregnant with our second when we married in the Church.

I’m being sincere. Celebrate your marriage. The past is the past and you can only move forward. Go to confession if you need to, but it looks like you’ve done everything the Church would ask of you to rectify the situation. As for the children, they will learn math. Be honest with them. It can be a life lesson and maybe a teachable moment.

 

[FOG]

No worries…celebrate both dates, that’s what me and my bride do…two fancy dinners a year is better than one…and, at our parish, when a wedding anniversary falls on a Sunday, the Pastor blesses the couple…when our civil anniversary fell on a Sunday, he blessed us, and knows we entered into sacramental marriage through convalidaiton…so its all good! CONGRATULATIONS, and enjoy many more years of Loving as God intended for Man and Woman!

 

[Irishmom2]

OP, celebrate whichever date you choose. The marriage, not the date, is what you are celebrating. Don’t listen to people that are being argumentative or negative.

Happy anniversary, whenever it is!

 

[Irishmom2]

Why are you telling her to go to confession? She got married in the church. Everything is right and fine.

 

[jrgmercado]

In some countries there are two ceremonies, a civil and a religious wedding.

 

[PJH_74]

Why are you telling her to go to confession?

I don’t care at all if she goes to confession at all, I completely agree with your sentiments. My highly devout Grandparents got a civil marriage so as to be able to apply for housing in post war Europe, but by their choice they always used the Church date. It’s also completely normal for many Europeans to get married civilly too because church marries aren’t often valid civilly as much as I know.

She just seems to remain apprehensive and if going to confession is how she needs to square her marriage history with Church teaching, then so be it.

 

[Hunho]

This is an excerpt from the canon law passage on marriage:
Canon 1055 states:

Can.  1055 §1. The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish

between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good
of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring, has been raised by Christ the Lord
to the dignity of a sacrament between the baptized.

§2. For this reason, a valid matrimonial contract cannot exist between the

baptized without it being by that fact a sacrament.

This means that as soon as the matrimonial contract comes into existence between two baptized persons, they have a sacramental marriage. The moment of sacramentality does not wait upon consummation or anything else.

Does this help clarify your marital status within the Church?

 

[Bruised_Reed]

If it’s not a sacrament, then it’s invalid.

There are valid non-sacramental marriages. In Catholic parlance, they are Natural marriages. A Catholic married to an atheist can have a valid, non-sacramental marriage. A Jewish couple can have a valid non-sacramental marriage.

 

[phil19034]

We were both Catholics at the time we were civilly married. It’s a long complicated story. We basically had eloped. Because of a huge misunderstanding my family shunned me and I was about to graduate from college and had nowhere to stay and I didn’t want to live together with my husband without being married. So civil marriage was the second best we could do at the time. So there’s nothing wrong with celebrating our first marriage? I’m also worried about what our children will think since I became pregnant within weeks after we civilly married and was 3 months pregnant with our second when we married in the Church.

NOTE: I say this as someone who was married invalidly outside the Church and then later received a Radical Sanation to recognize my marriage. So for me, my original wedding date is now recognized by the Church with a note about the date of my Radical Sanation.

Anyway, I think you could do either. Perhaps in a perfect world, it would be best to celebrate the wedding on the date the Church recognizes. However, if celebrating the date of the civil marriage helps you to avoid scandal with your kids, avoid issues with our spouse, and avoid scandal with other family members than it’s totally fine.

Remember, you are celebrating the marriage, not the date itself. I see this as no different than celebrating your child’s birthday on near Saturday instead of on their actual birthday.

God bless

 

[phil19034]

Bruised_Reed:

There are valid non-sacramental marriages.

Yes. But not between a baptized couple.

However, if celebrating the date of the civil marriage helps you to avoid scandal with your kids

What if it creates scandal? For they could think Church laws aren’t that important.

I know I am annoying, ‘mea culpa’, but this does not mean I am wrong. As the first marriage was not really a marriage, I think it shouldn’t be celebrated.

I’m also worried about what our children will think since I became pregnant within weeks after we civilly married and was 3 months pregnant with our second when we married in the Church.

Unless they can in no way discover that there were two ceremonies, I think it better to say the truth once they can understand and let them know it was a mistake, and they should not do it.

Motivation is PART of what’s important here, and is honestly something that no one has actually asked the OP.

However, I’m going to assume that the OP isn’t intending on celebrating fornication.

If my wife and I had two different wedding dates, I don’t think I would want my child knowing that they were conceved outside of a valid Church wedding - if I could avoid it.

And for the record - my daughter was conceived outside of before my marriage was recognized, but my son wasn’t. But my marriage was retroactively recognized though a Radical Sanation so I really don’t need to worry about two dates.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

I wouldn’t go so far as to say it is sinful, but I wouldn’t do it myself. I’d celebrate the date that the church wedding took place.

 

[otjm]

Which of the Ten Commandments do you think it is breaking?

You are assuming facts which are not in evidence. among them, you are assuing full intent and full knowledge, and you don’t beven know from the OP if either party was Catholic, wheher the person asking might have been the Catholic, and to what extent, if any, they had any idea of the Church law, especially that their act might be sinful.

And the answers to that are none of any of our business.

They are celebrating their expression of a lifetime commitment to each other; not celebrating a sin. That is beyond ridiculous.