WWYD? "Please stand and greet your neighbor."

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pnewton said:
The issue is relevant to the thread, and is a legitimate suggestion, not a deterioration, one which I have already brought up in my parish. Sharing of ideas that are practical is one of the roles of this forum.
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Very well then…I suppose the only thing left to be ironed out is that little *“crayons and construction paper” *detail…Carry-on.

Peace, Mark
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Yeah, that’s kinda the issue. Supposedly it’s done to make the parish friendlier, warmer, more open. But here’s the rub, some will wear it some won’t and what was meant to be a sign of unity will become a visible sign of division. Those who don’t wear them will be labeled objectors and unfriendly. Solidifying the divisions that would not be visible without the name tags. Organic friendliness, after Mass in a hello or an offering of a name is how to foster Christian fellowship. Treating Mass like the first day of WYD is silly.

And honestly what of those who have anxiety, or even just personalities that don’t enjoy these things. It makes Mass uncomfortable for them. There is nothing unholy about privacy!
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It’s not silly for single Catholics who are otherwise invisible or treated like second-class citizens at church and would welcome some acknowledgement. Mass is pretty uncomfortable if everyone’s staring at you and giving you dirty looks like you don’t belong there. The mass is on TV for any Lone Ranger types who don’t understand the mass is a communal experience.
 
Another parish in my town is doing it on every 5th Sunday (nametags). But people are supposed to wear ones from either volunteer positions within the parish or jobs outside of the parish. Auto mechanics, McDonald’s employees, cashiers… etc.
weird.

But what this tells me is it probably comes from some parish self help book that an author came up with. Like the book “Rebuilt”. Which aims to model parishes after Protestant mega Churches.
 
randomuser said:
It’s not silly for single Catholics who are otherwise invisible or treated like second-class citizens at church and would welcome some acknowledgement. Mass is pretty uncomfortable if everyone’s staring at you and giving you dirty looks like you don’t belong there. The mass is on TV for any Lone Ranger types who don’t understand the mass is a communal experience.
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lol! Now Mass is a speed dating service!?

No one I’ve ever heard of treats a lone person in a pew as second class! It’s just plain old silly!
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
lol! Now Mass is a speed dating service!?

No one I’ve ever heard of treats a lone person in a pew as second class! It’s just plain old silly!
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Who said anything about “speed dating” – the whole “speed dating”/match-making red herring is really getting old.

Singles are part of the Catholic parish community, too.
 
randomuser said:
It’s not silly for single Catholics who are otherwise invisible or treated like second-class citizens at church and would welcome some acknowledgement. Mass is pretty uncomfortable if everyone’s staring at you and giving you dirty looks like you don’t belong there. The mass is on TV for any Lone Ranger types who don’t understand the mass is a communal experience.
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I honestly cannot stop laughing at the image of being alone at mass and having someone stare and give dirty looks. What sort of dirty looks do you mean? Do people stick their tongues out? Or do a squinty scrunched up face thing? Or is it more like just a very slow head shake followed by dragging their thumb across their throat and mouthing “GET. OUT.”?

:tsktsk:🤓:ehh::slapfight::takethat::nunchuk::nope::whacky:

(That’s everyone in the first pew)
 
randomuser said:
Who said anything about “speed dating” – the whole “speed dating”/match-making red herring is really getting old.

Singles are part of the Catholic parish community, too.
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Of course they are. And that has NOTHING to do with nametags!!!

This concept of somehow shunning a “single” is very foreign to me.

Are you suggesting we all wear nametags specifically for the single people in our parish!?
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
But what this tells me is it probably comes from some parish self help book that an author came up with. Like the book “Rebuilt”. Which aims to model parishes after Protestant mega Churches.
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If we use them next month, we can say that the idea came from Catholic Answers Forum.
 
A general observation:

Some rules of human society:
a) No matter what you propose, there is inevitably someone who won’t like it
b) It is predictable that others will dislike things for reasons you did not foresee.
c) When someone tells you they don’t like something, they’re giving you information about themselves, so be careful how you disagree with their opinion.

Whatever you do, do not tell anybody that they don’t know what they do and don’t like. When someone tells you their feelings, they are the authority. No one gets to argue with them.

You can’t ever arrange things so that everyone likes the way things are, but it really is profitable to know why people like what they like and do not like what they do not like. I think it is a valuable insight. People also make themselves vulnerable to criticism when they go out on a limb and say what they like and don’t like. Listening, whether we agree or not, is a great gift to give. When we know what is on each other’s mind and then agree to come to one mind about how we are going to go about something, that is really an accomplishment of generosity.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Another parish in my town is doing it on every 5th Sunday (nametags). But people are supposed to wear ones from either volunteer positions within the parish or jobs outside of the parish. Auto mechanics, McDonald’s employees, cashiers… etc.
weird.
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I have heard of people putting on name tags with their volunteer area on the sign-up Sunday–I have resigned myself to the custom of calling every volunteer job one does out of love of God or neighbor a “ministry,” just as I have resigned myself to the reality that “microwave” is now a verb–but I never heard of anybody putting their secular jobs on name tags at church. That’s a new one on me, too.
 
EasterJoy said:
I have heard of people putting on name tags with their volunteer area on the sign-up Sunday–I have resigned myself to the custom of calling every volunteer job one does out of love of God or neighbor a “ministry,” just as I have resigned myself to the reality that “microwave” is now a verb–but I never heard of anybody putting their secular jobs on name tags at church. That’s a new one on me, too.
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Yeah I would have no problem on ministry Sunday to identify someone who is in charge of certain ministries. I definitely want to know the name of the director of chocolate ice cream on the 13th of the month for parishioners named Hoosier ministry.
 
1neophyte said:
I honestly cannot stop laughing at the image of being alone at mass and having someone stare and give dirty looks. What sort of dirty looks do you mean? Do people stick their tongues out? Or do a squinty scrunched up face thing? Or is it more like just a very slow head shake followed by dragging their thumb across their throat and mouthing “GET. OUT.”?

:tsktsk:🤓:ehh::slapfight::takethat::nunchuk::nope::whacky:

(That’s everyone in the first pew)
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I’ve personally never experienced any dirty looks or deliberate shunning as a mass loner but I don’t think families relate to us easily and parishes can struggle to know what to do with us. Personally I’ve done my best to make peace with this but it took years of frustration and resentment to get to this point. I do remember the second class citizen feeling.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
I’ve personally never experienced any dirty looks or deliberate shunning as a mass loner but I don’t think families relate to us easily and parishes can struggle to know what to do with us. Personally I’ve done my best to make peace with this but it took years of frustration and resentment to get to this point. I do remember the second class citizen feeling.
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Yeah, but that isn’t just a single person thing. As a large family in the pew we too can feel shunned or second class. We easily could say that single people don’t understand our challenges. And walking into Nass with a baby causes glares from some single old lady or something.
But a greeting or nametags don’t fix that.
It isn’t a problem of a parish, but rather overcoming ones own insecurities.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
I’ve personally never experienced any dirty looks or deliberate shunning as a mass loner but I don’t think families relate to us easily and parishes can struggle to know what to do with us. Personally I’ve done my best to make peace with this but it took years of frustration and resentment to get to this point. I do remember the second class citizen feeling.
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I’ve never experienced it either. Not even after I moved back home and had been away from this parish for well over 25 years. Maybe I’m just too focused on the Liturgy to be concerned with the facial expressions of everyone around me.🤷
 
Went to Mass this morning by myself. Attended a church I’ve driven past but never was in before. On my right was a lady about 40 who was by herself. On my left an elderly man who was by himself. In back of me an older lady who was by herself. We all joined in the Sign of Peace just like normal. There was an usher by the door who said goodbye as we walked out and the priest was in the vestibule to chat with anyone who wanted to say hi. I talked to another lady who was by herself while we were taking some tags off the Christmas in July tree to buy gifts for charities.

None of us who were “by ourselves” got one single dirty look or rejecting gesture from anyone that I could see.

I really think if you think that people are looking askance at you for attending Mass by yourself, you may have some difficulties with your own self-consciousness or self-confidence or in your own head.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Yeah, but that isn’t just a single person thing. As a large family in the pew we too can feel shunned or second class. We easily could say that single people don’t understand our challenges. And walking into Nass with a baby causes glares from some single old lady or something.
But a greeting or nametags don’t fix that.
It isn’t a problem of a parish, but rather overcoming ones own insecurities.
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I imagine when people were less mobile parishioners were more interconected, you wouldn’t have so much of the sings vs. young families vs. elders. It’s human nature to gravitate towards similar people.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
I imagine when people were less mobile parishioners were more interconected, you wouldn’t have so much of the sings vs. young families vs. elders. It’s human nature to gravitate towards similar people.
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I’ve heard recently of a diocese in the US that is asking people to attend thier geographical parish. That might change the dynamics of parish social issues.
 
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