WWYD: Teen neighbor and boyfriend?

[PaulinVA]

As a parent of teen girls, and as someone who was once, a long time ago, a teen boy, all I can say is, “TELL THE PARENTS IMMEDIATELY”!

Sorry, but parking a ways away from the house, leaving 20 minutes before the parents get home, sneaking in the back door, no good can come from this.

I would want to know. REALLY.

 

[tabycat]

I would probably mention it casually next time I was alone with the parents. I’d do it in a very friendly way, “How do you like your new job? Has it been a tough adjustment? I noticed Lily often has a friend over in the afternoons. I think he usually parks at the tennis courts. It’s none of my business, I know, but I like thinking that my neighbors are looking out for my kids, too, so I thought I’d mention it to you.”

The parents may have already been told, but mentioning it casually may help, if the perants do not have a hair tregger.

 

[tabycat]

You could report to the HOA that you believe the boyfriend has the code. That way they’d get “caught” and you wouldn’t be the bad guy.

If it canbe reported without the reporter being idenafied, then reporting it might be a good idea.

 

[tabycat]

As a parent of teen girls, and as someone who was once, a long time ago, a teen boy, all I can say is, “TELL THE PARENTS IMMEDIATELY”!

Sorry, but parking a ways away from the house, leaving 20 minutes before the parents get home, sneaking in the back door, no good can come from this.

I would want to know. REALLY.

How the parents are told is importent. If my parents were told the wrong way, the boy (and me) :would have been looking down the barrol of my Dad’s .22 rifle.

 

[johnsmith2025]

This is what I would do: I would start dropping by to borrow a cup of sugar, to return the cup of sugar, and in the course of conversing with the daughter, if you don’t see the boyfriend, caually say something like, Oh, I thought your boyfriend would be her as usual.

Then she would know that you know, and would hopefully decide to put an end to the unsupervised visits, as she never knows when you will interrupt her!

Sounds good on the surface, but there are a couple things:

1. … There is the chance that the girl isn’t going to care that her neighbor knows what she’s up to. At 15, they tend not to care what others think as long as there are no consequences.

2… There could be backlash. Not knowing the girl or her boyfriend, we don’t know how they think, and at that immature age, if they decided they wanted to somehow get revenge on who they see as a nosey neighbor, there’s nothing to stop them from doing so.

It’s better that our original poster not let on to the girl that she’s knows anything at all.

As long as someone knows something that they know that the other person doesn’t know that they know, there’s always an advantage ---- but as soon as the knowledge of it is revealed, that advantage is gone, and then the other person’s guard is up.

 

[Chantal25]

I was just about to edit my statement to say this has been going on for at least a month, so I have been able to put together bits and pieces over that time. I’ve walked passed his parked car a few times, seen him use the back door a few times, etc etc.

Additionally, my husband also noticed it a few times and mentioned it to me recently.

I was thinking about you said, about every little details coming to you this way. I think this is a meant to be and you should let her mother know. I would do so. You are probably scare and not feeling comfortable with this, but you should consider to warn her.

Pray God and ask him, if you are to be this person to tell her mother, to guide you with the Holy Spirit and to make the opportunity to talk with her happen.

Maybe, things will work out for the best for this young girl. It could be a blessing in disguise that her mother knows.

All the best!

 

[Anglewannabe]

This is what I would do: I would start dropping by to borrow a cup of sugar, to return the cup of sugar, and in the course of conversing with the daughter, if you don’t see the boyfriend, caually say something like, Oh, I thought your boyfriend would be her as usual.

Then she would know that you know, and would hopefully decide to put an end to the unsupervised visits, as she never knows when you will interrupt her!

That sounds passive aggressive and manipulative

 

[Anglewannabe]

Well, no one really wants to know, but since we are responsible for our children’s well-being, we need to know. I have a responsibility to keep over-heated monkeys off my daughter. I have a responsibility to teach my sons from turning into overheated monkeys. That’s how I protect my neighbor’s daughter among other means.

Yes, you ‘need’ to know. However, not all parents are responsible and prefer to not know so they don’t have to deal with it. I can think of some people who would just rolled their eyes and say ‘I just don’t know what to do with that girl I hope she does not get pregnant’

It seems like you are a good parent and would do the right thing. But if these people are not good parents, they may just shoot the messenger

Angie

 

[crystal_waters]

You could report to the HOA that you believe the boyfriend has the code. That way they’d get “caught” and you wouldn’t be the bad guy.

Do this, if he has the code, he could give it to others compromising security…also write an anonymous letter to the parents, after all if it was your daughter sneaking in her boyfriend wouldnt you want to know about it?

 

[LilyM]

how do you know their illegal or mexican

More importantly - how do you know they are drink driving? Do you breath test them before they get behind the wheel or something?

 

[St_Francis]

That sounds passive aggressive and manipulative

Obviously I disagree. The OP does not sem to feel comfortable about telling the parents, several people suggested she not tell the parents, and yet the OP does not feel comfortable leaving the situation alone, either. This would be a compromise.