B
Be_Still
Guest
Hello all,
I am new to Catholic Answers Forum, although I have lurked around a bit before joining. Anyway, my question is similar to some that I’ve seen on here, but I’ve been really struggling lately and thought I could use some help.
I grew up Catholic but have only recently come back into the Church. I never stopped believing, but I stopped following the commandments. One of the reasons why I ultimately came back to the Catholic faith was because of devastating health news–namely, that the doctors now say that I have less than 1% chance of ever conceiving a child. After many doctors telling me to use a donor egg to have a child, I realized how messed up the entire thing was and followed my soul’s cry back to the Church. I am happy to be back and practicing my faith, and leaning (slowly) to trust Jesus, no matter what ultimately happens with my future as a mother.
Anyway, my fiance has been nothing but supportive of my health problems and is willing to accept me, even if I can never bear him children. I am so grateful to have him. He is also a Catholic but is more lax about following the commandments–he is more of the mindset that God wants us to be happy.
My fiance and I have been together for four years and having premarital sex for most of our relationship. We are getting married in seven months. When I came back to the Church, I didn’t take Communion because I knew it would be wrong. It was hard to stop right away–however, I got my act together, talked with him, and went to confession. Going back to communion with a clean soul was amazing and we have not yielded to temptation ever since.
But here’s where I need help. First, when we were engaging in premarital relations, we were not using contraceptives because we were trying to have a baby (despite our small chance). I realize what a miracle it would be to have a baby, and I am struggling with giving up trying until the wedding, which is in seven months. Second, my fiance is having a really hard time with this. He is respecting my decision to stop relations until we are married, but I feel so awful sometimes knowing that he is unhappy.
So I guess I would like to have some reassurance that this is the right and Godly thing to do, because the world and my desire for a baby are constantly telling me to give in. Also, if anyone has any suggestions of ways to show my amazing and patient fiance love in a non-physical way, I’d really appreciate it because I feel guilty that I stopped this part of our relationship, even if its the right thing to do.
I can’t talk to anyone in real life about this because they all think that there is nothing wrong with premarital sex and I’m afraid that I might, out of guilt, resume having sex. Any advice, support, encouragement, scolding, is welcome…Thanks.
I am new to Catholic Answers Forum, although I have lurked around a bit before joining. Anyway, my question is similar to some that I’ve seen on here, but I’ve been really struggling lately and thought I could use some help.
I grew up Catholic but have only recently come back into the Church. I never stopped believing, but I stopped following the commandments. One of the reasons why I ultimately came back to the Catholic faith was because of devastating health news–namely, that the doctors now say that I have less than 1% chance of ever conceiving a child. After many doctors telling me to use a donor egg to have a child, I realized how messed up the entire thing was and followed my soul’s cry back to the Church. I am happy to be back and practicing my faith, and leaning (slowly) to trust Jesus, no matter what ultimately happens with my future as a mother.
Anyway, my fiance has been nothing but supportive of my health problems and is willing to accept me, even if I can never bear him children. I am so grateful to have him. He is also a Catholic but is more lax about following the commandments–he is more of the mindset that God wants us to be happy.
My fiance and I have been together for four years and having premarital sex for most of our relationship. We are getting married in seven months. When I came back to the Church, I didn’t take Communion because I knew it would be wrong. It was hard to stop right away–however, I got my act together, talked with him, and went to confession. Going back to communion with a clean soul was amazing and we have not yielded to temptation ever since.
But here’s where I need help. First, when we were engaging in premarital relations, we were not using contraceptives because we were trying to have a baby (despite our small chance). I realize what a miracle it would be to have a baby, and I am struggling with giving up trying until the wedding, which is in seven months. Second, my fiance is having a really hard time with this. He is respecting my decision to stop relations until we are married, but I feel so awful sometimes knowing that he is unhappy.
So I guess I would like to have some reassurance that this is the right and Godly thing to do, because the world and my desire for a baby are constantly telling me to give in. Also, if anyone has any suggestions of ways to show my amazing and patient fiance love in a non-physical way, I’d really appreciate it because I feel guilty that I stopped this part of our relationship, even if its the right thing to do.
I can’t talk to anyone in real life about this because they all think that there is nothing wrong with premarital sex and I’m afraid that I might, out of guilt, resume having sex. Any advice, support, encouragement, scolding, is welcome…Thanks.
