Yet another scrupulous question

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JesusSaves17

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there just didn’t seem to be enough on here, so here’s one more 😉

I am what I’d call a “scrupulous rookie.” I don’t usually find normal things sinful, but I do tend to make my venial sins out to be mortal. I am trying really hard to overcome it, praying a lot, reading SA, and it’s helping a lot. Last week I went to confess some sins that I committed years ago that I know for a fact had never been confessed, but I don’t know for a fact whether I thought they were mortal at the time.

My question is, this week I have recalled other mortal sins (making out and inappropriate things with g/f) that I didn’t think of as mortal when I was more lax years back. I received communion all the time and didn’t even think twice. Now I look back and am disgusted. So is it my fault for being lax, would it be wise to go back and confess these things that I cannot say for sure I knew were mortal at the time? Even if it is venial, should I get it off my soul? I know it’s been forgiven so I received communion on Wednesday, but I’m just wondering if I should mention it at my next confession, or fear that I withheld a serious sin from God.
 
JesusSaves17 said:
there just didn’t seem to be enough on here, so here’s one more 😉

I am what I’d call a “scrupulous rookie.” I don’t usually find normal things sinful, but I do tend to make my venial sins out to be mortal. I am trying really hard to overcome it, praying a lot, reading SA, and it’s helping a lot. Last week I went to confess some sins that I committed years ago that I know for a fact had never been confessed, but I don’t know for a fact whether I thought they were mortal at the time.

My question is, this week I have recalled other mortal sins (making out and inappropriate things with g/f) that I didn’t think of as mortal when I was more lax years back. I received communion all the time and didn’t even think twice. Now I look back and am disgusted. So is it my fault for being lax, would it be wise to go back and confess these things that I cannot say for sure I knew were mortal at the time? Even if it is venial, should I get it off my soul? I know it’s been forgiven so I received communion on Wednesday, but I’m just wondering if I should mention it at my next confession, or fear that I withheld a serious sin from God.
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If you really didn’t know they were mortal at the time, then they weren’t mortal.

Yet, it seems like you have good stuff to confess, so I would. But do not do so with the “have I been in mortal sin all this time?” thought, but rather, that you committed some grave (not necessarily mortal) sins in the past, and you would like to present them to the priest for judgment and absolution.
 
I think a good rule of thumb here is, if in doubt, confess it. Lay it all out on the table, just as you have here and allow your confessor to be the one to guide you as to whether you are being scrupulous or not. Then, obey him in whatever he tells you to do about it.
 
Best thing to do is to ask your confessor or spiritual director. Asking questions here will get you lots of different answers which may end up just confusing you and making your doubts worse (not that anyone means bad or anything). It’s best to stick with one person who you trust’s advice.
 
Linda_Marie said:
I think a good rule of thumb here is, if in doubt, confess it. Lay it all out on the table, just as you have here and allow your confessor to be the one to guide you as to whether you are being scrupulous or not. Then, obey him in whatever he tells you to do about it.
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This is a TERRIBLE rule of thumb for one who is scrupulous. In fact, most of the advice from priests to the scrupulous is just the opposite–if there is any doubt, it is not a mortal sin and do not confess it.
 
I was away from the Church for a time. When I came back, I had a laundry list (literally) of things to confess. I made an appointment to speak to my Priest face-to-face in his office. I started by giving him my list. 🙂 We talked for a while, discussing
my state of mind then and now and he gave me some spiritual direction. After talking for an hour or so, he asked if I would like for him to hear my confession. We went through the steps of confession just as one would do in the confessional, I made an Act of Contrition, and received absolution. I thanked him and left.

Two days later I remembered something else. I was devastated that I had not made a good confession - and had received Communion in the interim! I went back to this Priest but this time in the confessional at regular confession time and confessed this sin. The Priest told me that because I truly did try to make a complete confession, I was absolved of ALL of my sins at the time he said “I absolve…” during the first confession in his office, even those I had FORGOTTEN. If I had intentionally left something out that would have been another sin 🙂 He also said that if I was to remember a mortal sin or one that I thought might be considered a mortal sin, I should bring it to the confessional because it would set *my *mind at ease and our Heavenly Father would be pleased - even though it wasn’t necessary since I had already received absolution. The intent to make a good confession, the desire to make retribution, and the firm resolve to not sin again were more important than being scrupulous.
 
CuriousInIL said:
This is a TERRIBLE rule of thumb for one who is scrupulous. In fact, most of the advice from priests to the scrupulous is just the opposite–if there is any doubt, it is not a mortal sin and do not confess it.
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In the case of mortal sin, or the possibility of mortal sin, I wouldn’t take a chance. I have a tendency to be too easy on myself.
 
Philothea53 said:
I was away from the Church for a time. When I came back, I had a laundry list (literally) of things to confess. I made an appointment to speak to my Priest face-to-face in his office. I started by giving him my list. 🙂 We talked for a while, discussing
my state of mind then and now and he gave me some spiritual direction. After talking for an hour or so, he asked if I would like for him to hear my confession. We went through the steps of confession just as one would do in the confessional, I made an Act of Contrition, and received absolution. I thanked him and left.

Two days later I remembered something else. I was devastated that I had not made a good confession - and had received Communion in the interim! I went back to this Priest but this time in the confessional at regular confession time and confessed this sin. The Priest told me that because I truly did try to make a complete confession, I was absolved of ALL of my sins at the time he said “I absolve…” during the first confession in his office, even those I had FORGOTTEN. If I had intentionally left something out that would have been another sin 🙂 He also said that if I was to remember a mortal sin or one that I thought might be considered a mortal sin, I should bring it to the confessional because it would set *my *mind at ease and our Heavenly Father would be pleased - even though it wasn’t necessary since I had already received absolution. The intent to make a good confession, the desire to make retribution, and the firm resolve to not sin again were more important than being scrupulous.
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that’s great advice and that’s just what I plan on doing. I am by no means coming back to the Church, I’ve always been devout, I just didn’t have a great understanding of mortal sins when I was in high school. It seemed to me the only mortal things I could do were either masturbation, missing Mass, pornography, or taking the Lord’s name in vain. I didn’t do any of those things very often if at all so everything else I did I chalked up to venial and received Communion and had no qualms whatsoever. Now I know things like impure thoughts and gossiping about others and spreading rumors can be mortal sins and it is scary! I am more conscious of mortal sin than ever in my entire life and while it’s frustrating, I also avoid sin much better, but when I do sin I feel really guilty, even if it’s a small sin. Thanks for the advice.
 
CuriousInIL said:
This is a TERRIBLE rule of thumb for one who is scrupulous. In fact, most of the advice from priests to the scrupulous is just the opposite–if there is any doubt, it is not a mortal sin and do not confess it.
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While I have had just that advice from my confessor, as someone who suffers from scruples, I can say that if you don’t bring it up with your confessor, you will worry about it till you are gray. You will think that you have deliberately withheld a mortal sin during confession and that you are still dead in your sins. The key part of my advice was to allow your confessor to be your guide and to obey what he tells you to do. He is the only one who will hear all the details. If he decides that you are being scrupulous, he can give you advice on how to combat it. If you don’t bring this up, the priest may never know that you suffer from scruples and will not be able to advise you properly.
 
As to sins of the distant past…examine your conscience and see if it is in your will to commit that sin, today. Chances are, it’s not, which means you, my friend, are the recipient of a wonderful gift from Our Lord called grace. You’ve been set free by Christ of whatever that sin may have been. Rejoice! Jesus loves you that much. If you think He’s up there in Heaven with a clipboard waiting for you to confess your ancient sins so he can check it off and admit you into His Kingdom…you’ve missed the point of your redemption.
 
StCsDavid, that’s great advice. i have no doubt the Lord has forgiven me. And I have no doubt I would never place myself in that situation again. I am blessed with grace from God…and also with a sharp conscience. 🙂
 
Linda_Marie said:
I think a good rule of thumb here is, if in doubt, confess it. Lay it all out on the table, just as you have here and allow your confessor to be the one to guide you as to whether you are being scrupulous or not. Then, obey him in whatever he tells you to do about it.
Click to expand...
CuriousInIL said:
This is a TERRIBLE rule of thumb for one who is scrupulous. In fact, most of the advice from priests to the scrupulous is just the opposite–if there is any doubt, it is not a mortal sin and do not confess it.
Click to expand...
Philothea53 said:
In the case of mortal sin, or the possibility of mortal sin, I wouldn’t take a chance. I have a tendency to be too easy on myself.
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If you are too easy on yourself, then I wouldn’t consider you scrupulous and my comment does not apply.
Linda_Marie said:
While I have had just that advice from my confessor, as someone who suffers from scruples, I can say that if you don’t bring it up with your confessor, you will worry about it till you are gray. You will think that you have deliberately withheld a mortal sin during confession and that you are still dead in your sins. The key part of my advice was to allow your confessor to be your guide and to obey what he tells you to do.
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He is the only one who will hear all the details. If he decides that you are being scrupulous, he can give you advice on how to combat it. If you don’t bring this up, the priest may never know that you suffer from scruples and will not be able to advise you properly.Yes, obeying your confessor is the right thing to do. And, then, there is no need for the first part of your advice—the rule of thumb to confess when in doubt.
porthos11 said:
This rule of thumb is only good for those with good and stable consciences.
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This is NOT a good idea for the scrupulous.Exactly!
 
If I were you, I would stop asking any questions of this sort in public forums, including questions like “Is X a mortal sin?” You will get 50 different nuanced answers. The best advice is always to ask such questions of your confessor and of no one else. Whose advice would you trust more - that of an ordained priest who hears confessions on a regular basis and has a good understanding of moral teaching, or some anonymous stranger you met on the Internet?
 
umm, are there any anonymous priest posters on the Internet 😉 I kid I kid. But seriously, are there any priests on this forum? I wish Scrupulous Anonymous had a forum.
 
JesusSaves17 said:
umm, are there any anonymous priest posters on the Internet 😉 I kid I kid. But seriously, are there any priests on this forum? I wish Scrupulous Anonymous had a forum.
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Fr. Serpa is of course here on Catholic Answers. Although he is without question a reliable source of orthodox answers, I would personally still go face-to-face to a priest for spiritual guidance. There’s no substitute for having an in-person conversation with someone.
 
Really wish I had an answer. I think anyone who has a conscience must have had issues with this at some point in his life. Where it really becomes a serious issue is when you’re standing in the communion line. The devil must be behind this. 😦
 
If you made a valid confession and did not INTENTIONALLY withhold the mention of sins committed then you were forgiven for ALL the sins you committed before that confession, even if you didn’t recall them at the time.
 
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