You are going to hell

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ADiosgracias

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Can we tell someone that is committing a mortal sin? It would be like saying “you’re going to hell”
Hoy could I know if that person are going to hell?
The Church teach us that “Mortal sin (without repentance) = Hell”
 
I think that at most you might be able to point that the action constitutes ‘grave matter’, which is only one of the conditions for mortal sin.
 
Telling someone “that’s a mortal sin” is not the same as telling them “You are going to hell”.
We don’t know if they’re going to repent. We don’t know what mitigating circumstances may be reducing their guilt.
But if Mother Church tells us that such an act is a mortal sin, we may reasonably warn a person that he’s doing something Mother Church considers a mortal sin.
 
ADiosgracias said:
Can we tell someone that is committing a mortal sin? It would be like saying “you’re going to hell”
Hoy could I know if that person are going to hell?
The Church teach us that “Mortal sin (without repentance) = Hell”
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Might I suggest we leave that sort of talk to our misguided cousins in the Evangelical / Pentecostal churches? Presuming eternal judgement is unbecoming for a catholic.
 
We have a right and a duty as baptized Christians to inform our brothers and sisters when they are in error. This is called fraternal correction. The Bible prescribes a procedure for carrying it out.

[BIBLEDRB]Matthew 18:15-17[/BIBLEDRB]

What we can’t do is be judgemental about their actions so that we disrespect them as children of God. We cannot know the disposition of one’s soul, and only Jesus is the final Judge of all mankind, so we don’t know whether anyone is going to Hell, and we should not presume to pass judgement on others. But we can certainly point out to them when they have taken a path towards Hell.

Don’t be meddlesome and judgemental toward others, but be a good steward of God’s graces and the Deposit of Faith with which we have been entrusted, include a clear moral law that governs our daily life.
 
You can most certainly say, “Dying in a state of mortal sin relegates your soul to Hell,” or something like that. You cannot say, “You are going to Hell,” no.
 
You can tell if it is mortal with some people, if they are close friends, a spouse or family member.

I had to intevene with a friend who knew better. I suspected and confronted him about his relationship with a woman. “I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t intended to marry her” was the excuse. I looked him in the eye and said, “Michael, you know better. You have to stop and go to confession.”

It was risky. I could have lost a friend. He told me right there that he knew it was wrong and went to confession that week. He never wound up marrying the girl. It would have been a disaster anyway. He and I are very close friends now. There isn’t much we can’t say to each other.

My point is that I didn’t damn him to Hell, accuse him, or even use the word sin. I simply asked him what was going on and the conversation was about weakness, confession and virtue, and our friendship is much stronger now.

But sometimes you can tell if you are very close to someone and know them well enough. Intervention is always a risk, and has to be done gently in a spirit of great reverence for their dignity. You can never take away someone’s dignity. It is often a delicate balance.

-Tim-
 
My opinion:

"]I have an urge to go around and tell people who are living in mortal sin that they are offending God. It bothers me. I would tell them they are placing their soul in jeopardy. I don’t always act on this urge, an opportunity eventually arises though. You have to open discussion respectfully, not condemning. I am never rude, pushy or crossing the boundary. So you say, ‘Yeah, right, who does that?’ Some people do not want you to criticize or judge them. What gives me the right to say anything? I do care about the soul of each person. I want them to recognize sin and truly resolve to never do it again. I have given out copies of the Examination of Conscience, How to make a good confession, and a list of mortal sins and venial sins. I tell them they have to pray, go to Mass every Sunday and that maybe they need to speak to a Priest. We have a clear choice, live for God or live for ourselves. Each choice has a consequence. God wishes no one to go to hell but to repent and live with Him forever. Perhaps people do not know how serious is the sin they are committing. Sometimes it is just a matter of encouragement and they will see a different view of the situation they are in. The devil will take every opportunity to keep us from having an obedient and loving relationship with God. Jesus came to teach us the way of His Father, and we, too, must teach, if only by example. “Preach the Gospel at all times, if necessary, use words.” St.Francis of Assisi Yes, we may lose friends, but would you rather they live away from God in darkness for eternity. Pray that those who are in danger of losing their souls will seek to draw closer to God. I will pray for the person who has you concerned.
 
Let’s remember that ALL three elements must be present for an act to be a mortal sin:
  1. Grave Matter.
  2. The person has to know it is grave matter.
  3. The person has to freely choose to do the act.
I think most of us would be shaky ground to properly conclude that someone else has met all three conditions. We are NOT priests and we are not in a confessional.

It is NOT our job to judge whether someone has committed a mortal sin or not. If not ours to judge, then surely it is not ours to say to anyone, “You committed a mortal sin.” Especially if they have not asked us to comment. Most of us remember the story of the splinter in the the other’s eye versus the log in our own eye.

Surely it is not ours to look for conditions where we are tempted to speak out and pronounce a judgment, uninvited. Let us remember that Christ did not take that approach and we are to be Christ like as best we can.
 
GratefulFred, I appreciate your replying to my post and the valuable information you shared as to what constitutes a mortal sin.
My wording was extreme. No, I am not actively on the prowl looking for a fallen one to reprimand. Christ never forced anyone to change. He gave gentle counsel. It is up to us to choose right or wrong. Those who follow Him and listen to His voice stay with Him. If they stray, He tries to bring them back to the fold. Am I not my brother’s keeper? Is this not like love others as yourself? Yes, we are all sinners. If you see your brother sin and do nothing, would that mean you approve of the sin? Jesus gave us the wonderful gift of the Holy Eucharist. We have to remain in the graces of God. Often with the help of others.
 
I agree Acadi ANNA.

I think it is the approach that matters. It is wrong to approach with an attitude that “I am here to correct you.”

A better approach is to develop a good friendship and encourage others to live a better life.

I try to talk about values and situations and try not to get too personal. A gentle reminder of our need to distinguish between right and wrong and to side with the right is better than any accusation.

When it does get personal I try to get the other to evalaute their own behavior. Is it an honorable thing to do? Are they proud of it? Would they like their best friends, bosses, to know about it?

Also I try to talk about the Great Comandment to LOVE. Do we evaluate our own actions as being the way we show love of others because we love Christ?

If they express they are not happy with their behavior, then I might be able to bring up the saving power of a good confession.
 
The most disturbing thing about people telling other people that they’re going to hell is that none of us has a guarantee that we’re not personally going to hell ourselves. I don’t want to universalize this by speaking in third person, but I will say that I’ve noticed that I can have a big judgemental streak while being in mortal sin myself. I think I tend to judge people who are guilty of sins that are not issues for me, but then I speak with mercy about people who are struggling with the same things that I struggle with.

For example, I’ve struggled with porn viewing and when I hear someone else struggling with that, I tend to say “Hey, you’ve got to put your trust in God…” etc. But if I hear of someone actually cheating on their spouse with another person, I’m imagining them spitted on a rotisserie and roasting over a chasm of flames with the devil nearby wearing a bib and licking his drooling fangs (Happy Halloween everyone!). Any way, you see that porn and physically cheating are essentially the same sin. So then on top of that I’m being a hypocrite and prideful.

CS Lewis once said that the doors to Hell are locked from the inside.
 
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