You are your brother's keeper

[PelagiathePenit]

It’s my second day here. Already, 7 posts, I think. I am on a roll. I like this place. Jesus says we are responsible for other friends. How responsible are we for their sins? Is it always our place to tell others when they are wrong or when they fall short? As for telling the truth, does it matter how rough/brutally honest you are. I know God is all for brutal honesty. Is there such thing as being too harsh even if you are telling the truth? What about sharing your opinion. I am sensitive person by nature or sometimes because of ego. Lol. Sometimes I can get very annoyed when people just do not shut up about their opinions or feel like they are the authority to tell others when they are wrong/call out others?How respectful should Christians be of other people’s private lives?

 

[Emily2014]

Hello,
I believe that God alone will judge all of us and that He alone knows the innermost depths of our hearts. He has told us to “Love one another as I have loved you…”
Surely it is better to follow Jesus and to see the good in everyone (no matter how very difficult it can be! ). Also, - as we are all very far from perfect, wouldn’t it be better to look into our own failings before we presume to challenge others.
God bless and keep you in His loving care always.

 

[josh987654321]

It’s my second day here. Already, 7 posts, I think. I am on a roll. I like this place.

Jesus says we are responsible for other friends. How responsible are we for their sins? Is it always our place to tell others when they are wrong or when they fall short? As for telling the truth, does it matter how rough/brutally honest you are. I know God is all for brutal honesty. Is there such thing as being too harsh even if you are telling the truth? What about sharing your opinion. I am sensitive person by nature or sometimes because of ego. Lol. Sometimes I can get very annoyed when people just do not shut up about their opinions or feel like they are the authority to tell others when they are wrong/call out others?How respectful should Christians be of other people’s private lives?

I believe it all comes down to the golden rule, treat others how you would like to be treated, I believe Jesus intends for us to call our brothers and sisters lovingly who are walking the wrong path, to say “Not that way brother, that road is a dead end, come this way brother, this road is much better, follow Christ with me, here you will find life, love and mercy in abundance.” and if they reject your invitation, to wait patiently as our Prodigal Father (God) waits for us patiently to turn to him.

I believe when we look at others, we should always try to look at them through the eye’s of God, who is slow to anger and rich in compassion. Who is love and mercy itself.

I hope this has helped

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

…to say “Not that way brother, that road is a dead end, come this way brother, this road is much better, follow Christ with me, here you will find life, love and mercy in abundance.” and if they reject your invitation, to wait patiently as our Prodigal Father (God) waits for us patiently to turn to him…

I hate to break it to you but it’s that sort of flowery promise that give people more cause to reject Christianity when the institution breaks it. Forget Prodigal Son, how about the shepherd who decided to go all the way because he let the lost sheep stray?

This is why I say to the OP, I wouldn’t advise being ‘brutally honest’ unless you’re ready to have someone’s history of disappointment slammed down your shoulders.

 

[josh987654321]

I hate to break it to you but it’s that sort of flowery promise that give people more cause to reject Christianity when the institution breaks it. Forget Prodigal Son, how about the shepherd who decided to go all the way because he let the lost sheep stray?

This is why I say to the OP, I wouldn’t advise being ‘brutally honest’ unless you’re ready to have someone’s history of disappointment slammed down your shoulders.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

*Clouds and wind but no rain—

the one who boasts of a gift not given.
*

• Proverbs 25:14

 

[josh987654321]

*Clouds and wind but no rain—

the one who boasts of a gift not given.
*

• Proverbs 25:14

I believe you may have missunderstood me,

josh987654321:

** …and if they reject your invitation**, to wait patiently as our Prodigal Father (God) waits for us

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I believe you may have missunderstood me

No I have not. It’s you who is misunderstanding the ‘horse which doesn’t drink.’ Unlike actual animals, people aren’t so keen to forget when they’ve been led to a poisoned well before because someone claimed it had ‘love and mercy in abundance.’

 

[EasterJoy]

It’s my second day here. Already, 7 posts, I think. I am on a roll. I like this place. Jesus says we are responsible for other friends. How responsible are we for their sins? Is it always our place to tell others when they are wrong or when they fall short? As for telling the truth, does it matter how rough/brutally honest you are. I know God is all for brutal honesty. Is there such thing as being too harsh even if you are telling the truth? What about sharing your opinion. I am sensitive person by nature or sometimes because of ego. Lol. Sometimes I can get very annoyed when people just do not shut up about their opinions or feel like they are the authority to tell others when they are wrong/call out others?How respectful should Christians be of other people’s private lives?

Please point out the Gospel passages that lead you to believe that we are responsible for the sins of friends. This is what I would consider a typical passage, and I don’t get how you would conclude responsibility for someone else’s sins from it:

"If your brother sins (against you), go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector." Matt. 18:15-17

The Church teaches that to instruct the ignorant, admonish the sinner, counsel the doubtful, bear wrongs patiently, and to forgive offenses willingly are among the spiritual works of mercy. That is what we are bound to do, provided that it is reasonable that the act might have the desired result. We are not bound to override the free will of our friends to either do the will of God or ignore it, and we are to avoid “throwing pearls before swine.”

 

[josh987654321]

Unlike actual animals, people aren’t so keen to forget when they’ve been led to a poisoned well before because someone claimed it had ‘love and mercy in abundance.’

Your right, I forgot to add the importance of witnessing our faith because often times I believe that to be the greatest evangalisation tool, thus when we invite them, they know their not being lead to a poisoned well as you put it.

Matthew 7:15-17
*…They dress up like sheep, but inside they are wolves who have come to attack you. 16 You can tell what they are by what they do. No one picks grapes or figs from thornbushes. 17 A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. *

Luke 7:35
… wisdom is shown to be right by the lives of those who follow it.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[shainski]

As for telling the truth, does it matter how rough/brutally honest you are. I know God is all for brutal honesty. Is there such thing as being too harsh even if you are telling the truth? What about sharing your opinion. I am sensitive person by nature or sometimes because of ego. Lol. Sometimes I can get very annoyed when people just do not shut up about their opinions or feel like they are the authority to tell others when they are wrong/call out others?How respectful should Christians be of other people’s private lives?

We all have different talents.

When you want others to follow you - you need to use different techniques for different people. Pointing out others’ flaws will turn off many people to listening to anything else you have to say. (So what have you gained?).

If you establish a friendship with others - or even a dialog, they may be willing to listen to your thoughts. But it can’t be a one-size fits all.

Jesus did spend a great deal of time with sinners (well, everyone was sinners, but grievous sinners in the eyes of his followers). But Jesus had credibility - he had compassion - and while he may have pointed out the errors of their ways, he gave them a way out.

And he was also willing to chastise those who were looked like they were living by the letter of the law - but failed in spirit.

life presents us with many opportunities for helping others - gaining credibility - and showing compassion. You realize that you shut others out that speak with authority about things you disagree with. (how might one of those approach you and get you to listen to something with which you disagree?)

You see, you have to find a way that suits you. You might be willing to listen if they showed some humility. Even if you don’t accept what they claim, maybe they could establish a dialog. Perhaps you could do the same.

Who do you admire in this world - and why? What leaders do you follow - and why? And who will you listen to even though you disagree? and why?

 

[EasterJoy]

No I have not. It’s you who is misunderstanding the ‘horse which doesn’t drink.’ Unlike actual animals, people aren’t so keen to forget when they’ve been led to a poisoned well before because someone claimed it had ‘love and mercy in abundance.’

Is this the experience of your own life–I mean, that when you have rejected something good being offered to you, that it was the fault of the person offering?

Sometimes we do reject something because it is offered badly or because we are held back by a bad prior experience, but sometimes we reject a good thing out of a smallness in ourselves or because we’d have to give up clinging to something we know we ought to give up but don’t want to give up or simply because we do not currently see the need for this particular good thing in this moment. A horse who doesn’t drink is not rejecting “the whole concept of water.”

The meaning of “you can lead a horse to water…” is simply this: The decisions of others are subject to factors not under our control, and when we see that, it is** not** a sign of something wrong with the universe. We need to accommodate ourselves to that truth, if we are to have any peace.

 

[EasterJoy]

I hate to break it to you but it’s that sort of flowery promise that give people more cause to reject Christianity when the institution breaks it. Forget Prodigal Son, how about the shepherd who decided to go all the way because he let the lost sheep stray?

This is why I say to the OP, I wouldn’t advise being ‘brutally honest’ unless you’re ready to have someone’s history of disappointment slammed down your shoulders.

The office of a shepherd or a teacher is not given to every one of the sheep, you are correct.

*Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you realize that we will be judged more strictly, for we all fall short in many respects. If anyone does not fall short in speech, he is a perfect man, able to bridle his whole body also. If we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we also guide their whole bodies. It is the same with ships: even though they are so large and driven by fierce winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot’s inclination wishes. In the same way the tongue is a small member and yet has great pretensions. Consider how small a fire can set a huge forest ablaze.

The tongue is also a fire. It exists among our members as a world of malice, defiling the whole body and setting the entire course of our lives on fire, itself set on fire by Gehenna. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. This need not be so, my brothers. Does a spring gush forth from the same opening both pure and brackish water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, produce olives, or a grapevine figs? Neither can salt water yield fresh. Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show his works by a good life in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. Wisdom of this kind does not come down from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every foul practice. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure, then peaceable, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without inconstancy or insincerity. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace for those who cultivate peace*. James 3:1-18

Still, Josh was only suggesting the Golden Rule, an attempt to imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes. It is not foolproof, but about as good as we are likely to do.

 

[otjm]

Please point out the Gospel passages that lead you to believe that we are responsible for the sins of friends. This is what I would consider a typical passage, and I don’t get how you would conclude responsibility for someone else’s sins from it:

"If your brother sins (against you), go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector." Matt. 18:15-17

The Church teaches that to instruct the ignorant, admonish the sinner, counsel the doubtful, bear wrongs patiently, and to forgive offenses willingly are among the spiritual works of mercy. That is what we are bound to do, provided that it is reasonable that the act might have the desired result. We are not bound to override the free will of our friends to either do the will of God or ignore it, and we are to avoid “throwing pearls before swine.”

To which I would add, that the Gospels tell us that before you go to remove the speck in someone else’s eye, you must remove the mote in yours.

Many people are eager to tell others that those others are going down the wrong path, but not so eager to address the path they themselves are on.

Yes, we are all called to give witness to the truth. We seem, however, to think that the primary witness must be verbal.

 

[Jared2914]

What I say to people depends on how close I am to them. I am brutally honest with family, but I am nice about it. I don’t break them down pointing out all their sinful ways – after all, I have my own sinful ways – but I do speak the truth. I also don’t keep bringing it up everytime I see them. Once they know my opinion that’s enough. We are close enough they probably won’t forget for a while. For close friends it’s much the same. For acquaintances or strangers, I mention if it comes up naturally in conversation, but I always express my views from my point of view. I try to lead by example. I don’t experience everything though, so some people rightfully weaken the weight of my opinion for situations I have never been in. For example, I am not a woman, so I could never experience the pain of an unplanned pregnancy. I can say what I would do, but a lot of woman don’t really care what a man says about this because the man will never be in that situation.