You know you are a Roman Catholic when

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DexUK said:
The Jehovah’s Witnesses discover what Church you attend and avoid you like the plague…
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I wish this was true - they knock on my door, I tell them I’m Catholic, they still try to convert me. 🤷
 
~ When you put a green scapular on your non-Catholic husband’s side of the bed and…

~ he doesn’t pay it any attention since Catholic stuff is popping up all over the house, but…

~ when you get overly excited when your Patron becomes your Patron Saint (St. Elizabeth of the Trinity 😃 ) he gets curious, especially when you get a prayer card with her photograph and he asks about her.
 
So many great LOLs in this thread…
… you call it the ‘sanctuary’, not the ‘stage’.
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…when you practise kneeling in the fitting rooms to see if the new clothes are going to work properly.
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You know you are Catholic when you smile at the JW knocking at the door because you feel a bit argumentive that day.
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…someone runs over my foot with the shopping cart in the supermarket and I apologize to them (Catholic guilt).
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Here are a few that came to mind that I don’t think were mentioned yet…

–You go to customer service at the grocery store and apologetically tell them that their scanner is off, it undercharged you for the 10 lb bag of flour

–When you get down on your knees, making the sign of the Cross, and say aloud “Blessed be the name of God forever” when the non-Catholic family member says “oh my God” and “Jesus Christ” in blasphemy…(never had to do that one twice)

–When you freak out on your child’s hockey coach because you got word that one of the parents is sending along a Ouija board to entertain the kids on the bus during tournament travel

–When you give your Catholic brother the furry eyeball when he weakly asks you who this “Our Lady of Fatima” is that you keep talking about.

–When you say “Thank you Jesus” every night when you wake up at 3 a.m., thinking He’s looking for signs of gratitude at this strange hour

–When you know that you truly are a daughter of the King, and that you aren’t delusional!

–When you start praying Hail Mary’s every time you get stuck behind a slow driver to get rid of impatience and road rage

–When you talk to the Guardian Angel of the parish Church as you are walking towards it each morning for Mass, asking for protection for all who attend Mass

–When you know what Final Perseverance is and actually pray for it

–When know that sleeping pills are a racket, just pull out your Rosary!

–When your motivation for hunting for that perfect pair of headphones is so you can listen to the audio Bible on your iPad, or listen to the Rosary without disturbing sleeping hubby…and yet comfortable enough that you can fall asleep with them on (btw the wireless sleepphones headband is perfect).

–When you are seriously considering learning Latin as a second language, even though you’re nearing 50 years old.

–When you decline quit-smoking aids and instead go cold turkey and offer it up for a loved one’s conversion (really works, quit a 30 year habit 4 years ago, conversion is still in the works).

–When your light bulb moment to quit smoking triggered because it bothered you to have smoke breath when receiving the Body of Christ and then again lighting up a cigarette after Mass.

–You don’t want any expensive jewelry as an anniversary or birthday gift, but would love a gorgeous handmade heirloom rosary.

–You totally know what + JMJ + means when seeing it in old books or documents

–You are truly puzzled as to why young brides desire to be “sexy” on their wedding day rather than exude grace and beauty

–You try explaining to your son’s girlfriend that you aren’t particularly tied to any specific wedding plans & ideas, just that she keep her bosom and shoulders covered for the Church wedding…and you can see by her reaction that she’s horrified at how demanding you are (no wedding plans in the works btw, just a hypothetical convo).

–When you pull over for a funeral procession, wait for it to pass and say a Hail Mary or two for the departed.

–You walk into an out of town Catholic Church and literally turn in circles, then ask where Jesus is (the Tabernacle is off in an Adoration Chapel somewhere).

–When you don’t even blink about paying $50 bucks for a tattered old prayerbook you found online.

–When you believe playing the Latin Rosary CD on low volume helps keep things around the home calm, especially once you realize some people in the neighborhood are fond of smoking pot.

–When you spend all night giggling and nodding your head to all the comments while reading a 45 page thread from start to finish because its topic is “You Know You Are A Roman Catholic When…” and then wonder if you should mention “wasting time” in Confession.
 
When you’ve top automatically generated book recommendations are “54 day Rosary Novena” and “Devotion to the Precious Blood”. True story.
 
When you’ve prayed three decades of the Rosary before the Tabernacle and realize the Sanctuary light is out and further realize Jesus is exposed in the Monstrance in the Historic Chapel three steps outside the Church and wonder…

Do I need to say three more decades over there to gain an indulgence?
 
You know you’re Catholic when you practice genuflecting in new jeans in the changing rooms before you buy 😃
 
You have or have been about to genuflect when taking your seat in the cinema…oops…😃
 
Another true story. You are filling out your tax return and one box mentions making a “period of grace election”. This reminds you of Our Lady.
 
When reciting the Hail Mary as a child, you ever uttered the words “…and blessed is your Fruit-Of-The-Loom, Jesus.”
 
Lost_Sheep said:
When reciting the Hail Mary as a child, you ever uttered the words “…and blessed is your Fruit-Of-The-Loom, Jesus.”
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One of my students used to pray the Fatima prayer like this:

“Especially those who mostly need Thy mercy” 🙂
 
You definitely know you’re a Roman Catholic when, in your math homework, you are told to graph a signum function, and you are reminded of the gregorian chant “Signum Magnum Apparuit in Caelo”
 
You know you’re Roman Catholic when you first wondered if the Eastern Catholic Churches were actually in union with the Pope.
 
You know you’re Roman Catholic when watching Star Wars, you feel the need to respond to “May the Force be with You” with “And with your Spirit”.
 
bly said:
When a Baptist tells you ‘you are going to hell!’ just because you are Catholic. Then you thought to yourself ‘thank goodness he is not God, if he is all Catholics would be in hell right now!’ 😃
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When the tell me that I am going to Hell I say, “may the blessings of Jesus be upon you.”
 
RosyAnne said:
So many great LOLs in this thread…

Here are a few that came to mind that I don’t think were mentioned yet…

–You go to customer service at the grocery store and apologetically tell them that their scanner is off, it undercharged you for the 10 lb bag of flour

–When you get down on your knees, making the sign of the Cross, and say aloud “Blessed be the name of God forever” when the non-Catholic family member says “oh my God” and “Jesus Christ” in blasphemy…(never had to do that one twice)

–When you freak out on your child’s hockey coach because you got word that one of the parents is sending along a Ouija board to entertain the kids on the bus during tournament travel

–When you give your Catholic brother the furry eyeball when he weakly asks you who this “Our Lady of Fatima” is that you keep talking about.

–When you say “Thank you Jesus” every night when you wake up at 3 a.m., thinking He’s looking for signs of gratitude at this strange hour

–When you know that you truly are a daughter of the King, and that you aren’t delusional!

–When you start praying Hail Mary’s every time you get stuck behind a slow driver to get rid of impatience and road rage

–When you talk to the Guardian Angel of the parish Church as you are walking towards it each morning for Mass, asking for protection for all who attend Mass

–When you know what Final Perseverance is and actually pray for it

–When know that sleeping pills are a racket, just pull out your Rosary!

–When your motivation for hunting for that perfect pair of headphones is so you can listen to the audio Bible on your iPad, or listen to the Rosary without disturbing sleeping hubby…and yet comfortable enough that you can fall asleep with them on (btw the wireless sleepphones headband is perfect).

–When you are seriously considering learning Latin as a second language, even though you’re nearing 50 years old.

–When you decline quit-smoking aids and instead go cold turkey and offer it up for a loved one’s conversion (really works, quit a 30 year habit 4 years ago, conversion is still in the works).

–When your light bulb moment to quit smoking triggered because it bothered you to have smoke breath when receiving the Body of Christ and then again lighting up a cigarette after Mass.

–You don’t want any expensive jewelry as an anniversary or birthday gift, but would love a gorgeous handmade heirloom rosary.

–You totally know what + JMJ + means when seeing it in old books or documents

–You are truly puzzled as to why young brides desire to be “sexy” on their wedding day rather than exude grace and beauty

–You try explaining to your son’s girlfriend that you aren’t particularly tied to any specific wedding plans & ideas, just that she keep her bosom and shoulders covered for the Church wedding…and you can see by her reaction that she’s horrified at how demanding you are (no wedding plans in the works btw, just a hypothetical convo).

–When you pull over for a funeral procession, wait for it to pass and say a Hail Mary or two for the departed.

–You walk into an out of town Catholic Church and literally turn in circles, then ask where Jesus is (the Tabernacle is off in an Adoration Chapel somewhere).

–When you don’t even blink about paying $50 bucks for a tattered old prayerbook you found online.

–When you believe playing the Latin Rosary CD on low volume helps keep things around the home calm, especially once you realize some people in the neighborhood are fond of smoking pot.

–When you spend all night giggling and nodding your head to all the comments while reading a 45 page thread from start to finish because its topic is “You Know You Are A Roman Catholic When…” and then wonder if you should mention “wasting time” in Confession.
Click to expand...
A good confession is never a waste of time.
 
CaptFun said:
You hear that white Catholics can now join the Ku Klux Klan and reason …

They can’t be any better …

… where have we gone wrong?

(Don’t know or care if the above is TRUE … but I did hear it … and that was my first feeling).
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You know that they have excommunicated themselves for Heresy.
 
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