"You may kiss the bride"

[buckr02]

Having grown up with the TV and movies depicting “proper” weddings, I had always thought that the kissing of the bride after the two are wed was part of the marriage rite. However, I recently heard that this is actually not so much a Catholic thing and isn’t traditional. Is this true? I’ve always wanted to have a very traditional wedding and thought this would be part of the Mass.

 

[Phemie]

Having grown up with the TV and movies depicting “proper” weddings, I had always thought that the kissing of the bride after the two are wed was part of the marriage rite. However, I recently heard that this is actually not so much a Catholic thing and isn’t traditional. Is this true? I’ve always wanted to have a very traditional wedding and thought this would be part of the Mass.

It isn’t part of the Rite of Marriage if that’s what your asking.

Movies & TV rarely show Catholic marriages. If they did and showed what was really in the Rite of Marriage they would show the bride and groom greeting their guests at the back of the church. Then the priest would come and greet them there and they would go up together in the Entrance Procession after the priest, either just them or accompanied by their parents and witnesses.

You wouldn’t see “Dad giving the bride away”, kissing the bride, unity candle, etc.

The unfortunate thing is that even in the Catholic Church you often don’t see what is really in the Rite of Marriage.

I’ve been married a long time but I can remember mothers complaining just before I did get married that the priest didn’t allow this kiss. I was content to just go with the flow and follow the pastor’s direction. No kiss? No problem.

 

[Corki]

We we got married, our priest told us that’s what the “kiss of peace” is for.

 

[muffinmojo]

I must admit, I am deeply intrigued. As a former Protestant(whos never been to a Protestant wedding either) I have always wondered how Catholic ones were different. I’ve read the rite of marriage from the 1962 and 2002 missals but they are unclear… anyone care to, quickly, go over the differences?

 

[ProVobis]

And no Liszt or Mendelssohn either.

I’m not sure about Jeremiah Clarke’s Trumpet Voluntary or Henry Purcell’s Trumpet Tune, although I heard these are British traditionals. May be wrong, though.

 

[jrabs]

We we got married, our priest told us that’s what the “kiss of peace” is for.

Just got married and this is exactly what the priest told us too. He did tell us to make sure we kissed instead of just the usual hand shake.

 

[buckr02]

It isn’t part of the Rite of Marriage if that’s what your asking.

I said that wrong. I didn’t mean that I thought it was part of the Rite, but that I thought it happened during the Mass.

Movies & TV rarely show Catholic marriages. If they did and showed what was really in the Rite of Marriage they would show the bride and groom greeting their guests at the back of the church. Then the priest would come and greet them there and they would go up together in the Entrance Procession after the priest, either just them or accompanied by their parents and witnesses.

Wow, I had no idea this is how it was formerly done. I guess there is more that I should learn.

The unfortunate thing is that even in the Catholic Church you often don’t see what is really in the Rite of Marriage.

I’m beginning to realize this.

I’ve been married a long time but I can remember mothers complaining just before I did get married that the priest didn’t allow this kiss. I was content to just go with the flow and follow the pastor’s direction. No kiss? No problem.

This happened with my brother’s wedding. I was very surprised to see that the priest did not have them kiss and the few people I talked to complained about this.

I think it would help, as another poster suggested, listing the differences between a traditional Catholic wedding and the modern ones you see today. Or perhaps even a website on the traditional marriage ceremony.

 

[Joe_5859]

My wife and I kissed at our wedding, and my wife is nothing if not a stickler for rubrics.

 

[EasterJoy]

It isn’t part of the marriage rite. Whether it is “done” or “not done” in your parish depends on where you are and who your pastor is.

This is something for you and your fiance to talk over, and then to bring up with the priest who is doing the wedding when you go over the particulars of your ceremony before your rehearsal. (As opposed to the priest who is helping you with your marriage preparation, since these are not always the same.)

 

[Joe_5859]

It isn’t part of the marriage rite. Whether it is “done” or “not done” in your parish depends on where you are and who your pastor is.

This is something for you and your fiance to talk over, and then to bring up with the priest who is doing the wedding when you go over the particulars of your ceremony before your rehearsal. (As opposed to the priest who is helping you with your marriage preparation, since these are not always the same.)

Good advice. It’s definitely something that would be nice to know in advance!

 

[cfell]

Ok… from “a Deacon’s perspective”… It is “good” to “kiss the bride”.

With respect to “The Kiss”, here is what we have been doing.

After the final blessing the Priest (or Deacon), standing in front of the newly married couple, announces, “The Mass is ended…” Those present reply, “Thanks be to God!”

Then the Priest or Deacon has the couple turn and face the congregation, then announce, “It is my honor to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. …” There is usually brief applause and when the timing is right I lean in and tell the GROOM… “You may kiss your BRIDE!!!”…

 

[dixieagle]

And no Liszt or Mendelssohn either.

I’m not sure about Jeremiah Clarke’s Trumpet Voluntary or Henry Purcell’s Trumpet Tune, although I heard these are British traditionals. May be wrong, though.

We had Clarke’s Trumpet Voluntary at my older daughter’s wedding for the processional, and Purcell’s Trumpet Tune at my younger daughter’s wedding in June. Our Cathedral parish is very strict about music, but allows most classical music. (No “secular” music, however, which includes the “Bridal Chorus” and “Wedding March”.)

With regard to the “kiss”, younger daughter and new hubby did that during the sign of peace, and, if I recall, sneaked one in at the very end when the priest introduced them as Mr. and Mrs.

We had many non-Catholics, some of whom mentioned how strange it seemed to them not to have the “Who gives this woman”, “You may now kiss the bride”, etc. Many people commented on how beautiful the Nuptial Mass was. We went the whole route and really “Catholicked” them up while we had them there

 

[cfell]

Dixieagle…

At each “Wedding” I have served, I have had at least one “non-catholic” person come up to say how moved they were by the beauty of the ceremony, especially when there is a Mass (presided / celebrated by a Priest, of course).

I always “invite them to come home”.

 

[dixieagle]

Dixieagle…

At each “Wedding” I have served, I have had at least one “non-catholic” person come up to say how moved they were by the beauty of the ceremony, especially when there is a Mass (presided / celebrated by a Priest, of course).

I always “invite them to come home”.

Good for you! Nothing can compare to the beauty of a Nuptial Mass, I think. I also love simply wonderful music and singing during the Mass - beautiful sacred music (Ave Maria, Panis Angelicus, etc.) and magnificent classical music, as allowed. We were blessed with talented musicians and a gloriously talented singer. Heavenly!

There is only one Protestant wedding I’ve attended that even approached the beauty and solemnity of a Catholic Nuptial Mass. We have dear Methodist friends, whose daughter married a young Methodist minister, and I was struck by the length of the ceremony and many parallels to the Mass; the liturgy was quite important to them. (I think it’s only a matter of time until they “swim the Tiber”.)

(BTW - the younger daughter whose wedding I referenced just returned from a job interview near Round Rock. Her older sister lives in Austin. Small world!)

 

[cfell]

“Small world” indeed!

Round Rock was once “small world”. That is forever “history”.

I welcome your family to the Austin Diocese! Come for a visit! There are many parishes they may choose to make “home”…

If my wife or I can be of service, please just ask…

Jesus Christ be praised!