"You must respect your wife."

[Anglewannabe]

With all due respect, calling your pastor was a big ‘no-no’. I would cut all communication with her and if you don’t, you are just asking for the headache

As for your priest telling you to plant good seeds…not all priest are right 100% of the time and I honestly think his telling you to talk to them is horrid advice.

The only way to plant a good seed in this situation is to become a Catholic and let them see you are following God’s calling. And QUIT TALKING ABOUT IT WITH THEM

 

[Cyril_Of_Canada]

I asked about handing them Rome Sweet Home and Crossing the Tiber and that
abstaining from Protestant Communion led to Samantha inquiring about my reason for doing so. I asked if I should proceed with a healthy discussion and even if I should hand Rome Sweet Home and he told me to use my own discretion. And suggested that I could continue to plant the healthy seeds of the catholic faith among people in my life. If your going to blame him, just blame me, because it’s my fault and I proceeded at my own discretion.

I can’t cut them out of my life because that will create more division between my wife and I.
So the best thing for me to do is to no longer engage them with any further discussion, quit talking, and to show by action that I am following God’s calling.

I met with them tonight for a book study with a group. There was no issue. If they want to talk about my catholicism, I’ll say it’s not open for discussion.

God bless.

 

[DarkLight]

I asked about handing them Rome Sweet Home and Crossing the Tiber and that
abstaining from Protestant Communion led to Samantha inquiring about my reason for doing so. I asked if I should proceed with a healthy discussion and even if I should hand Rome Sweet Home and he told me to use my own discretion. And suggested that I could continue to plant the healthy seeds of the catholic faith among people in my life. If your going to blame him, just blame me, because it’s my fault and I proceeded at my own discretion.

I can’t cut them out of my life because that will create more division between my wife and I.
So the best thing for me to do is to no longer engage them with any further discussion, quit talking, and to show by action that I am following God’s calling.

I met with them tonight for a book study with a group. There was no issue. If they want to talk about my catholicism, I’ll say it’s not open for discussion.

God bless.

I think this is a wise course of action. Just smile and say “Well, I’ve prayed about it and this is what God wants me to do. I’d rather not go into it again.”

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Thank you for sharing your story, I don’t know if it is respect that is the issue so much as it is love and reassurance that is needed here.

Your wife is not a Canadian native, she moved from an Asian country I believe? To “uproot” is a big experience physically and emotionally. All of us desire stability, your wife has already ventured into the unknown may be fearful of even more uprooting.

Please do what you can when you talk to her to focus on what you have in COMMON instead of what divides you. Perhaps tell your wife that it brings you much joy that she is a good Christian woman! Tell her you are happy you are married to someone who loves Jesus! Tell her you are excited to celebrate Christmas soon, ask her to read the bible with you! If she is upset that you cannot take communion at her church say “yes that’s true” but then quickly tell her that you both love Jesus and that is what is most important rather than give her an intellectual argument. She may be seeking emotional reassurance and the protection of a husband at this point that everything will be okay, more than she is seeking intellectual evidence of your decisions.

Show her much love, tell her you are happy you married her, tell her you are glad you married a woman that loves Jesus and that your children are blessed to have her as a mother. This kind of love and support from a husband (generally, over time) will give a woman warm reassurance that she seeks in a marriage.

I know when there were huge changes in my marriage (job, moving, children, home) my fears were that our relationship would change and my husband would change towards me. If those are your wife’s fears then reading a book about Catholic doctrine won’t help, you need to show her much love and give her personal reassurance. Please be assured of my prayers for you and your marriage and family.

Yes.

I can tell from previous threads that there is a huge backstory here that is not being taken into account in some of the advice. There are cultural issues, marital issues.
In one previous thread PPD was mentioned along with depression. Then a thread about confessing something to the wife and her reaction was to blame. Then the return of the wife to her native country with the child.

There is way more going on here than a conversion and “respect”

 

[chevalier]

Thank you for sharing your story, I don’t know if it is respect that is the issue so much as it is love and reassurance that is needed here.

Your wife is not a Canadian native, she moved from an Asian country I believe? To “uproot” is a big experience physically and emotionally. All of us desire stability, your wife has already ventured into the unknown may be fearful of even more uprooting.

Please do what you can when you talk to her to focus on what you have in COMMON instead of what divides you. Perhaps tell your wife that it brings you much joy that she is a good Christian woman! Tell her you are happy you are married to someone who loves Jesus! Tell her you are excited to celebrate Christmas soon, ask her to read the bible with you! If she is upset that you cannot take communion at her church say “yes that’s true” but then quickly tell her that you both love Jesus and that is what is most important rather than give her an intellectual argument. She may be seeking emotional reassurance and the protection of a husband at this point that everything will be okay, more than she is seeking intellectual evidence of your decisions.

Show her much love, tell her you are happy you married her, tell her you are glad you married a woman that loves Jesus and that your children are blessed to have her as a mother. This kind of love and support from a husband (generally, over time) will give a woman warm reassurance that she seeks in a marriage.

I know when there were huge changes in my marriage (job, moving, children, home) my fears were that our relationship would change and my husband would change towards me. If those are your wife’s fears then reading a book about Catholic doctrine won’t help, you need to show her much love and give her personal reassurance. Please be assured of my prayers for you and your marriage and family.

Another +1. And respecting or not respecting someone is something that could be understood differently in an Asian culture. In any case, yeah, ensure her your conversion has nothing to do with not respecting her or the marriage you have together.

 

[BShep]

Your faith journey has NOTHING to do with respecting your wife; it is only about your relationship with GOD. The Holy Spirit is obviously calling you into the Catholic Church and your wife (or your Protestant pastor) has no authority to stop you. You do not need your wife’s permission to work where you work, to drive the car you drive, to wear the shirt you want to wear, to cut your hair in the style you want, or make any other of the personal decisions you make in your daily life, and you do not need it to become Catholic. I think maybe it is time for your wife to respect YOU and if she does not like or support your decision to become Catholic, then at least let you do it on your own in peace. The bible says it is better to obey God, than men, and it sounds like He wants you to join His Church.

Ditto. You guys, pastor included, could benefit from learning about realistic, Christian boundaries. Check out this book. amazon.com/Boundaries-Marriage-Dr-Henry-Cloud/dp/1480554995