You weren't kidding - trials of conversion

[Robert_Caritas]

Hi DAML72,

I can definitely relate to your experience. I have practicing the Catholic faith seriously for only about 6 months. But it’s been quite a 6 months!
What has helped me the most has been reading the Gospels daily. I try to make sure to read at least a chapter a day. This has been a great spiritual guide. Though we don’t always have the ability to understand the meaning of Gospel passages, it is very rare when a chapter does not give me something strengthening.
This reading coupled with prayer has usually kept me well within the Catholic church. The transcribed teachings and actions of Jesus-Christ (combined to prayer) are a very powerful guide to Truth. Having this in my daily life has made a huge difference, and I highly recommend it.

 I wish you the best!

  Bob

• edited to make more readable

 

[Gorgias]

It also included an invitation to join a completely different forum - for Protestants. I actually think it might be a violation of forum rules, as the person stated that he or she was canvassing these boards for current or former Protestants and referring them to an Anglican board, but I don’t know how to report it.

You could always send a PM or an email to one of the moderators…

 

[CompSciGuy]

Good morning,

I’m not exactly sure how to start this, as I feel a bit strange even acknowledging that there may be evil at work in my life. Growing up, I don’t think there was ever any mention of Satan or Hell in my church, so I’m not sure if I ever really believed. But I’ve been considering conversion to Catholicism for the past three weeks. Since RCIA just started, things are moving pretty quickly for me. When I first got the feeling I was being led to conversion, everything was so clear. Now I feel like I’m constantly being pelted with doubts about the Church ( I was up almost all night last night with this), and there seem to be a number of temptations from my past that I am deliberately turning away from popping up. Then, this morning I had a private message on here from a new, anonymous member that cautioned me about the Catholic church.

I have read on here how others have had difficulty with evil influence interceding. Is that what this is? It feels like it, as it’s not a nice feeling - very different from the peace you get when you know that you are being led in the direction the Holy Spirit wants you to go. I’m trying to pray the Rosary every day, but I think maybe I need to do a little more. What else can I or should I do? It seems like the more involved I get with the church and the more committed I get, the worse this ‘attack’ gets and then stronger, scarier thoughts enter my mind.

When I was converting I felt like I was being constantly bombarded with doubts. I had family members always trying to talk me out of it. There were things about the faith and about practice that I had a really hard time understanding. It really is going to take a shift of perspective to be able to see the Bible from a Catholic point of view, having been brought up in a different faith tradition, but believe me, the Bible is very much in line with Catholic teaching, and vice versa. You should keep studying and looking into Catholic teaching and come to understand the reasoning, history, and holiness behind it.
As for the temptations, look at it this way, Satan is not a very clever fellow. Of course he’s going to attack you exactly when you are going down the right path. This always happens. Put your trust in God and rejoice in your sufferings. Don’t be discouraged by this, if anything the fact that the devil is attacking you is a sign that you are on the right track!
Spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Pray. Focus on Christ and learn to love His Church. And don’t let these things in life get you down or distract you. God bless you!

 

[DAML72]

When I was converting I felt like I was being constantly bombarded with doubts. I had family members always trying to talk me out of it. There were things about the faith and about practice that I had a really hard time understanding. It really is going to take a shift of perspective to be able to see the Bible from a Catholic point of view, having been brought up in a different faith tradition, but believe me, the Bible is very much in line with Catholic teaching, and vice versa. You should keep studying and looking into Catholic teaching and come to understand the reasoning, history, and holiness behind it.
As for the temptations, look at it this way, Satan is not a very clever fellow. Of course he’s going to attack you exactly when you are going down the right path. This always happens. Put your trust in God and rejoice in your sufferings. Don’t be discouraged by this, if anything the fact that the devil is attacking you is a sign that you are on the right track!
Spend time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Pray. Focus on Christ and learn to love His Church. And don’t let these things in life get you down or distract you. God bless you!

It’s funny, one of the main reasons I was led to the Catholic Church was because, for years I have struggled with reconciling the teachings of my Protestant background with what I would actually read in some of the scriptures. But, when I started reading the Catechism of the Catholic Church, it all just blended together coherently. And, over the past few weeks, I have learned that, just when I think I have something figured out, another layer is revealed. So, I will definitely keep reading, and I have pledged not to make any snap judgments on any particular church teachings.

Thanks to EVERYONE for your support, even if I haven’t responded directly. It is all very helpful and encouraging. I just got back from a mission service at the Parish, and I have to say, at this point, it almost feels like the Holy Spirit is hitting me in the head with a 2x4 trying to get through to me. It was that confirming - not just about whether or not I should join the church, but about the issues that I am struggling with right now. There’s really no going back at this point. I will guard my young Catholic faith diligently.

 

[jesuspsr]

Thanks to EVERYONE for your support, even if I haven’t responded directly. It is all very helpful and encouraging. I just got back from a mission service at the Parish, and I have to say, at this point, it almost feels like the Holy Spirit is hitting me in the head with a 2x4 trying to get through to me. It was that confirming - not just about whether or not I should join the church, but about the issues that I am struggling with right now. There’s really no going back at this point. I will guard my young Catholic faith diligently.

Kudos to you my friend in Christ.

May the Holy Spirit continue to guide you.

Jesus g

 

[Bob_Crowley]

Good morning,

I’m not exactly sure how to start this, as I feel a bit strange even acknowledging that there may be evil at work in my life. Growing up, I don’t think there was ever any mention of Satan or Hell in my church, so I’m not sure if I ever really believed. But I’ve been considering conversion to Catholicism for the past three weeks. Since RCIA just started, things are moving pretty quickly for me. When I first got the feeling I was being led to conversion, everything was so clear. Now I feel like I’m constantly being pelted with doubts about the Church ( I was up almost all night last night with this), and there seem to be a number of temptations from my past that I am deliberately turning away from popping up. Then, this morning I had a private message on here from a new, anonymous member that cautioned me about the Catholic church.

I have read on here how others have had difficulty with evil influence interceding. Is that what this is? It feels like it, as it’s not a nice feeling - very different from the peace you get when you know that you are being led in the direction the Holy Spirit wants you to go. I’m trying to pray the Rosary every day, but I think maybe I need to do a little more. What else can I or should I do? It seems like the more involved I get with the church and the more committed I get, the worse this ‘attack’ gets and then stronger, scarier thoughts enter my mind.

I think this is quite common. I think there’s a brief period of grace, when God stops the evil one from direct attacks. But then He starts forcing the new convert, or potential convert, start standing on their own two spiritual feet. And the way He does that is to allow the person to be attacked spiritually in one way or another.

It even happens to non-Christians who join Protestant chu rches. I think I had more spiritual attacks when I initially became a Christian in late 1982 than I did when I made the move to the Catholic Church. I suppose by that time the devil knew that I knew what some of his tricks were, and it was a bit pointless using the same old tactics.

But he’s used a fair bit of discouragement. Reminds me of the old saw about the devil having a jumble sale - he was tossing out tired old reruns - Gnosticism, Arianism, Albigensiasm, etc. when he spotted someone throwing out this battered old box labelled “Discouragement”.

The devil thought for a moment, and then said, “No, put that one back. I’ve done a lot of good work with that one over the centuries. Still a handy one to have around from time to time.”

One thing I went through early in my Christian walk was “stray thoughts” eg. a blasphemous thought would just pop into my head from nowhere eg. “****&& off God!”. This was worrying at the time, but it didn’t come from me. I remember talking to another new Christian one night in a gym we had under the church and he said he had the same problem. Then he added, “You know, I never even had a problem with “stray thoughts” until I became a Christian.” And he was fairly stolid bloke who later became a cop (and married one of the young ladies from the church into the bargain).

It happens. After all if you’ve been in the devil’s camp for a while, he’s going to try pretty hard to get you back. Of if you’ve been in a denomination where error is taught, he doesn’t like it when you move closer to the truth.

The texts about “testing the spirits” are in the New Testament for a reason. They copped it too.

 

[saveusfromhell]

I think this is quite common. I think there’s a brief period of grace, when God stops the evil one from direct attacks. But then He starts forcing the new convert, or potential convert, start standing on their own two spiritual feet. And the way He does that is to allow the person to be attacked spiritually in one way or another.

It even happens to non-Christians who join Protestant chu rches. I think I had more spiritual attacks when I initially became a Christian in late 1982 than I did when I made the move to the Catholic Church. I suppose by that time the devil knew that I knew what some of his tricks were, and it was a bit pointless using the same old tactics.

But he’s used a fair bit of discouragement. Reminds me of the old saw about the devil having a jumble sale - he was tossing out tired old reruns - Gnosticism, Arianism, Albigensiasm, etc. when he spotted someone throwing out this battered old box labelled “Discouragement”.

The devil thought for a moment, and then said, “No, put that one back. I’ve done a lot of good work with that one over the centuries. Still a handy one to have around from time to time.”

One thing I went through early in my Christian walk was “stray thoughts” eg. a blasphemous thought would just pop into my head from nowhere eg. “****&& off God!”. This was worrying at the time, but it didn’t come from me. I remember talking to another new Christian one night in a gym we had under the church and he said he had the same problem. Then he added, “You know, I never even had a problem with “stray thoughts” until I became a Christian.” And he was fairly stolid bloke who later became a cop (and married one of the young ladies from the church into the bargain).

It happens. After all if you’ve been in the devil’s camp for a while, he’s going to try pretty hard to get you back. Of if you’ve been in a denomination where error is taught, he doesn’t like it when you move closer to the truth.

The texts about “testing the spirits” are in the New Testament for a reason. They copped it too.

it also happens to people who return to the faith after having left for a peiod. my own was pretty disturbing for me. helped when i came here and realised many had been in the same place when trying to return.

 

[SecretGarden]

When you are getting close to God, the devil doesn’t like it so he sends his attackers. I’ve experienced it a great amount over the years. I’m sort of in the middle of an attack right now. The attackers can also come from within the church as well. I’ve had it happen to me quite a bit actually. I think your best bet is to go to church as much as you can, talk about whatever your struggles you are dealing with a good priest and find a spiritual director. Spiritual direction is a great way to combat it as well as simply praying and hanging in there.

If you have some specific questions, message me, and I’ll help you in anyway I can.

 

[clem456]

Good morning,

I’m not exactly sure how to start this, as I feel a bit strange even acknowledging that there may be evil at work in my life. Growing up, I don’t think there was ever any mention of Satan or Hell in my church, so I’m not sure if I ever really believed. But I’ve been considering conversion to Catholicism for the past three weeks. Since RCIA just started, things are moving pretty quickly for me. When I first got the feeling I was being led to conversion, everything was so clear. Now I feel like I’m constantly being pelted with doubts about the Church ( I was up almost all night last night with this), and there seem to be a number of temptations from my past that I am deliberately turning away from popping up. Then, this morning I had a private message on here from a new, anonymous member that cautioned me about the Catholic church.

I have read on here how others have had difficulty with evil influence interceding. Is that what this is? It feels like it, as it’s not a nice feeling - very different from the peace you get when you know that you are being led in the direction the Holy Spirit wants you to go. I’m trying to pray the Rosary every day, but I think maybe I need to do a little more. What else can I or should I do? It seems like the more involved I get with the church and the more committed I get, the worse this ‘attack’ gets and then stronger, scarier thoughts enter my mind.

Conversion is work. We rebel against work, and negative feelings and personality traits can pop up. Frustration, fear, doubt, anger, shame from past sins, sloth etc…
Sometimes the conversion is feelings-led. The feeling of joy we have at our initial inspiration can give way to rebellioin when we discover what is asked of a Christian disciple. And the Holy Spirit will not always lead us by the nose with inspired feelings. Sometimes we land in the desert with seemingly no guidance and no inspiration. This is normal, it does not have to be the dramatic work of a demon. It is part of the process for just about anyone.

Feelings can be great gifts but they are also transient. Listen to your God-given reason and make decisions based on your reason, not on your feeliings of doubt and fear. You feel you should do more, but you may want to consider that doing less can be doing more. You can not hammer your way through conversion simply by willing it with more prayer. If your efforts are robbing you of peace, maybe God wants you to stop and listen and trust. Give the doubts to Him and he will help you solve them on His time. He is the power behind your conversion, not your feelings.