@Juliane: Our spats are becoming the stuff of legend. If I was an apple, you would be an orange. I apologize if anything I have said comes across as
personal, I don’t really wish to disparage your person at all, I’m just rather spirited!
Ha. Morally reprehensible! I call it responsible parenting.
Let’s be clear: I’m objecting to the idea that one should kick one’s son out of the house on a single day’s notice for sins that many struggle with. Again, I’m not even sure that’s
legal. You would be treating a son in such a way that the law doesn’t even allow you to treat a
stranger. You don’t see how that’s messed up? By all means, they have the right to ask him to leave, but to treat him worse than one would be expected to treat a stranger?
The kid is being a leech, expecting to be supported for drinking and having sex. Who is paying for that underage ticket? Who is paying for tuition? Does he have a job?
OK, so let’s be frank about what we’re saying here. “Leech” means “receiving support”, yes? And this is unacceptable because he’s drinking and has had sex in the past (do we even know that he still is?).
So in essence, this is what I’m getting from that post: no one who is sinning should be financially supported. If this is not your view, please correct me. If it is, realize that what you’re saying is that
no one should be financially supported, since
no one is beyond sin.
What are his grades like? If he’s drinking, I bet they aren’t very good.
You can drink and still have good grades. We don’t know the extent of his drinking.
Such is the case here, as you see below, OP says he has good grades.
Illegal? No, you can kick a kid out at age 18.
Again, I did not object to the idea of kicking him out
per se, but where are you living that putting someone,
anyone on the streets is legal with a single day’s notice? I remind you, you said to kick him out
tomorrow. Big difference. We have the common decency not to treat tenants in this manner, so I can’t imagine why a
son would not be extended the same courtesy.
I know, because I was likely to have to do it had my own son not turned himself around. Parents these days are all too often held hostage by bratty kids who think they can do anything they like and the parents have to support them. Well, tough beans, I say. College is not a time to act a fool. It’s expensive as heck these days. My money, my rules. Act a fool and the money spigot shuts off.
It sorta depends on what you mean by this. Only our Lord was without sin, so it would be silly to make a rule like “never sin, or ELSE!” A pattern of unrepentant behavior which steps over a boundary, perhaps… yes.
p.s. My father enabled my sister to stay dependent and always in a crisis, until she was 40. It’s a bad thing to do to your kids. It tends to go on and on forever unless you cut it off at the very beginning. Funny thing, once they have to pay the bills, the light bulb goes off and they recognize what they’ve been doing to good old Mom and Dad. Usually, that is. The ones who get angry and punish their parents for drawing a boundary - well, some people just don’t have any character.
To be sure, it’s not the “go get a place” idea, but the 1 day notice thing that’s bugging the crud out of me right now. I hope you didn’t really mean it, cause that would be so cruel. It’s not like he’s physically assaulting anyone…
ModestlyAnne:
I don’t think I implied that I was about to do anything cruel. I’m pretty sure that my post showed I am struggling with what to do and have certainly supported him even through some bad choices.
ModestlyAnne, I apologize for not being more clear. I think everything you said is, for the most part, quite appropriate. By no means was that post intended to address you directly.
npatrol:
These on-line spats are becoming legendary?