Young adult experiencing struggles w/ fighting parents

[anne13]

I graduated from grad school, moved in with parents to save money and also individually I get along with them very well and love them so much.

My mom has a major tendency to neglect housework, hoard, and always be away from home w/ numerous activites. My father expresses his sadness through bad anger (calling her terrible names, speaking badly of her to everyone). *Therefore, this causes my mom to be away even MORE → dad gets EVEN angrier = continuous vicious cycle. *

They pull me into it constantly… talking badly about each other to me and trying to get me to take their side. I usually say nothing and walk away.

I often do the dishes and cook for everyone. Dad uses this against mom by telling her how I have more of a wifely/motherly role then she does. It’s so painful to see my good deeds become his ammunition.

I am very concerned about their marriage and state of their souls. I am also worried about my spiritual life and peace as well as it is not being nurtured at home.

I do not want to give up on them. I know only Christ can fix them (I always tried to when I was a little girl… *big *mistake!)… but I wonder if I should intervene or write a letter to both of them warning them of the harm of their actions… I fear they will just become defensive like all the previous times.

Sometimes the situation feels hopeless but I know despair is one of the devil’s favorite ways of temptation.

Anybody else going through this? Any advice or recommended prayers/saints?

Thank you and God bless

 

[Princelierocks]

Yes my friend, Its some what same like you but not upto that extent. Its very hard to say during this lent season my parents are acting in a weird way. They are not talking to each other since the beginning of the lent. I wonder what would happen later. I just pray to Jesus that he may have mercy on my family and fix this issue.

 

[pitawasi]

Dear Anne,
I happened upon your post and it touched me. It seems that you are a wonderful daughter, a wise young woman, and spiritually blessed. Ii is a difficult and painful to see your parents in this state. Have you considered that you are where God wants you right now, seeing this dysfunction with the heart of Jesus? I can’t say whether writing a letter or confronting them is the thing to do, however, I am sure of this…Pray, pray, pray. Pray that the Holy Spirit will lead and guide you to whatever action or words will benefit your family most; You will be certian when God moves you to words or actions that will benefit them out of love. Pray for your parents; it is the most amazing thing you can do…you are honoring you father and mother despite their shortcomings; offer up your pain and suffering over this situation to Jesus, especially through the hands of Mary…what awesome and beautiful graces will be poured out from His Most Merciful and Sacred Heart when you unite your suffering to His. Meditate on His Sorrowful Passion, see that He is holding out His heart to you and He will not only comfort you , but strenghthen you and draw you closer to Himself. Speak to Our Lady, our Gentle Mother, tell her all about your feelings and hopes; ask her to intercede for you, to pray for you and your parents. Also, thank God for giving you eyes to see what he is showing you, thank Him for revealing Himself to you (as evidenced by your beautiful conscience and concern), thank Him for loving you (and your parents) so much. I hope and pray that things improve quickly and miraculously for the the glory of God to be praised.
Your Sister in Christ

 

[anne13]

Thank you so much for the responses… it really encouraged and lifted my spirits after I came home from work the other day.

Beautiful wisom and advice, Ptawasi. Princelierocks, I am sorry to hear you are going through a similar situation and have prayed for you since reading you post.

God bless you both and prayers, Anne

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