Wow! So much has changed since then (not only my screename)! I am putting my discernment on hold, so to speak, since I found a full-time job that takes up much of my time. I am not discerning with the Carmelites in Buffalo at this point as I felt as though God was leading me towards the Franciscans, but then I got confused and felt like I was not being led anywhere at this point. A break is what I needed. I’m not sure when or if I will start discerning again, but if I do, I plan to make a visit to the Visitation Monastery close by. We shall see. I am not certain if I am called anymore.It’s been a while since I posted on this thread. I have begun a new direction in my discernment, beginning in May this year when I discovered that my vocation was not with the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus in Milwaukee, as I originally expected. I went through the application process and then did a live-in with the Sisters that was originally supposed to last 6 weeks so I could work in their group home as an employee and earn the money I needed to pay off my debts. I was there all of 3 days when it became painfully clear that God had not called me here to be a Sister. I experienced a deeper longing in my heart to give it all to Him in cloistered, contemplative life instead of the active life of a Carmelite DCJ. The leaving did not come without a great deal of pain in my heart, not only because I felt like I was disappointing the Sisters, but because I knew my discernment was not over with and I didn’t know where I was called next. I left on the 3rd day to return home, and my discernment formally ended with the Sisters.
There have been days where I wonder if I did the right thing, but when I have peace in my heart, I know that my journey is on the right track in contemplative life. I love and respect all the Sisters very much for I learned that I don’t have what it takes to be a house mother in the group home. They do their work with such love, and I wish I had that, but God has not blessed me with that gift. However, I love to pray and I feel the most happy in contemplative prayer. I decided to write about 6 Carmelite monasteries in the US and request information about their community and formation. One of those monasteries was the Carmelite Monastery of the Little Flower of Jesus in Buffalo, NY. I never felt this way about any monastery before–I had both peace and love for their foundation–and I decided to pursue discernment with them.
I wrote my first letter to Mother Miriam of Jesus, OCD, in August 2009 and I asked her if I could discern with her monastery. I didn’t hear back from her for about 2 weeks, so I decided to call the monastery and leave a message asking to speak to her. I finally did talk to her on the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross (9/14/09) and we spoke for about an hour all about my discernment and why I felt called to enter their monastery in particular. Mother asked if it was possible for me to make a personal visit, and I unfortunately have to wait (not much longer, I hope, since I have a job interview and other prospects lined up), because I am unemployed.
Discerning with a monastery is much different than discerning with an active community, in my humble opinion. In active life, you are able to spend time with the Sisters in their common area. Since the monastery I am discerning with is much more strict in their rule, I am unable to do a discernment retreat or a live-in, so I have to really rely on the Holy Spirit and ask for help from my spiritual director, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am planning to go to the monastery sometime in January 2010 (if not sooner), and decide whether or not to apply for entrance. If I do apply, I’m going to ask for entrance on the ceremony of the Feast of the patron saint of the monastery in Buffalo–St. Therese of Lisieux. This little saint has been instrumental in my discernment–particularly to the Carmelites–and has given me much to hope for in the way of my vocation. I would be honored to be a gift to her in thanksgiving for all her prayers. So, I would probably enter on October 1st, 2010. What is so beautiful about this date is that I was planning to enter the DCJs on this same date and year! That was before I found a job to pay off my debts in their group home. I think it was God’s will that enter in 2010 all along.
God bless!
Wow! So much has changed since then (not only my screename)! I am putting my discernment on hold, so to speak, since I found a full-time job that takes up much of my time. I am not discerning with the Carmelites in Buffalo at this point as I felt as though God was leading me towards the Franciscans, but then I got confused and felt like I was not being led anywhere at this point. A break is what I needed. I’m not sure when or if I will start discerning again, but if I do, I plan to make a visit to the Visitation Monastery close by. We shall see. I am not certain if I am called anymore.It’s been a while since I posted on this thread. I have begun a new direction in my discernment, beginning in May this year when I discovered that my vocation was not with the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus in Milwaukee, as I originally expected. I went through the application process and then did a live-in with the Sisters that was originally supposed to last 6 weeks so I could work in their group home as an employee and earn the money I needed to pay off my debts. I was there all of 3 days when it became painfully clear that God had not called me here to be a Sister. I experienced a deeper longing in my heart to give it all to Him in cloistered, contemplative life instead of the active life of a Carmelite DCJ. The leaving did not come without a great deal of pain in my heart, not only because I felt like I was disappointing the Sisters, but because I knew my discernment was not over with and I didn’t know where I was called next. I left on the 3rd day to return home, and my discernment formally ended with the Sisters.
There have been days where I wonder if I did the right thing, but when I have peace in my heart, I know that my journey is on the right track in contemplative life. I love and respect all the Sisters very much for I learned that I don’t have what it takes to be a house mother in the group home. They do their work with such love, and I wish I had that, but God has not blessed me with that gift. However, I love to pray and I feel the most happy in contemplative prayer. I decided to write about 6 Carmelite monasteries in the US and request information about their community and formation. One of those monasteries was the Carmelite Monastery of the Little Flower of Jesus in Buffalo, NY. I never felt this way about any monastery before–I had both peace and love for their foundation–and I decided to pursue discernment with them.
I wrote my first letter to Mother Miriam of Jesus, OCD, in August 2009 and I asked her if I could discern with her monastery. I didn’t hear back from her for about 2 weeks, so I decided to call the monastery and leave a message asking to speak to her. I finally did talk to her on the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross (9/14/09) and we spoke for about an hour all about my discernment and why I felt called to enter their monastery in particular. Mother asked if it was possible for me to make a personal visit, and I unfortunately have to wait (not much longer, I hope, since I have a job interview and other prospects lined up), because I am unemployed.
Discerning with a monastery is much different than discerning with an active community, in my humble opinion. In active life, you are able to spend time with the Sisters in their common area. Since the monastery I am discerning with is much more strict in their rule, I am unable to do a discernment retreat or a live-in, so I have to really rely on the Holy Spirit and ask for help from my spiritual director, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am planning to go to the monastery sometime in January 2010 (if not sooner), and decide whether or not to apply for entrance. If I do apply, I’m going to ask for entrance on the ceremony of the Feast of the patron saint of the monastery in Buffalo–St. Therese of Lisieux. This little saint has been instrumental in my discernment–particularly to the Carmelites–and has given me much to hope for in the way of my vocation. I would be honored to be a gift to her in thanksgiving for all her prayers. So, I would probably enter on October 1st, 2010. What is so beautiful about this date is that I was planning to enter the DCJs on this same date and year! That was before I found a job to pay off my debts in their group home. I think it was God’s will that enter in 2010 all along.
God bless!
Again, stuff has drastically changed. I did not visit the Visitation monastery because I received an email from them saying that since I have depression, I can not be admitted for entrance. I am now discerning with a beautiful order that combines both Dominican and Franciscan spiritualities into one–the Sister Servants of the Eternal Word in Birmingham, AL. I can’t wait to save up enough money so that I can go and meet them in person. I still have some important stuff to discuss with Mother and the Vocation Director about medical issues, but I am hopeful that I might try to apply here since I have done all I can to learn about them through research and getting answers to my questions from a former member of the order.Wow! So much has changed since then (not only my screename)! I am putting my discernment on hold, so to speak, since I found a full-time job that takes up much of my time. I am not discerning with the Carmelites in Buffalo at this point as I felt as though God was leading me towards the Franciscans, but then I got confused and felt like I was not being led anywhere at this point. A break is what I needed. I’m not sure when or if I will start discerning again, but if I do, I plan to make a visit to the Visitation Monastery close by. We shall see. I am not certain if I am called anymore.
What do you mean?
Awesome! The Vocation Director is great the talk to, and the previous VD was totally awesome and helpful. I talked to the previous one a lot when I had been discerning their order. I turned out learning that it wasn’t full on teaching that I wanted, but retreat/catechetical type work, so I’m now discerning the SsEW.