Young and looking on how to properly pray for matrimony

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Timeflies2me

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Thanks to anyone whos reading this,

Im almost 21(male) and have been on this forum before, been on hiatus, but Ive been doing well for whoever remembers me lol. Anyways I have been getting involved with the church quite a bit, been doing my best to please our Lord although im just a person haha. In the hiatus, I actually became an extra ordinary minister, have been in the knights of columbus and go to bible study.

Ive, for quite some time, been having these feelings of wanting to start a family, which in the past I never would of thought Id want to do. But I have not gone straight into looking for someone online or something lol, I think my age is pretty young to have this urge to look for a woman of God. Ive been discerning alot about this, for one, I havent been i guess “out in the sea looking”. Society now and days seems so depressing to go look for someone to spend the rest of my life with. Alot of young people my age hookup and seem very unfaithful. So I asked for advice in my bible study and its pretty clear I should stay within the compounds of someone whos in the church, pretty obvious i guess lol.

Theres been this one girl I see at mass every week, I keep having this feeling for her, although i dont know her, Ive never really talked to her at all nor her family. Its very strange cause although I dont know her, I can see the devotion her family has to the Lord. What really got my attention is she and her mom wear a veil to mass, no other girl her age wears a veil. Not many women do at my parish besides a couple of older women, but from what my eyes can see, this girl is the only one who wears it to mass and I think thats very beautiful.

Im looking for the best way to properly pray about this, I always have to remind myself that its up to God. One of my brother Knights’ fiancee also mentioned to let God do whatever he wants to do in his time, and be patient. I am pretty young still so I guess I got alot to do still idk lol.

But I really am asking for all the prayer I can get, please please keep me in your prayers as long as possible. I thank you so much for reading this, it was pretty long to read and kind of hard to write. Thank you and God bless!
 
I’m not particularly young any more 🙁 31, but I still think of myself as young and I totally know what you mean about all girl just seem to want to hook up. Until recently I was still discerning a vocation to the religious life so marriage was obviously on the back burner.

There are Catholic and just general Christian dating sites (though not very many) where you can meet girls who don’t just want to hook up.
 
Timeflies2me said:
knights of columbus
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Hey hey Vivat Jesu!
Timeflies2me said:
I think my age is pretty young to have this urge to look for a woman of God.
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Not really. You are at the perfect age to be thinking about marriage and finding a woman. Just because society now says it’s vouge to get married later in life (say 30’s or 40’s) doesn’t mean it is.

Fair bit of warning comming from someone that is married. It’s alot more hard work than you think. It really is a vocation. I would say ask your these questions:

Am I ready to give everything to my wife and kids?
Am I ready to give up things that takes away time from my wife and kids (like vidya games)?
Am I ready to have sleepless nights taking care of a baby?
Am I ready to pay more in insurance, day care fees, and taxes when I get married?
Am I ready to lead my wife in kids, not only in prayer, but through this journey called life?
Will I cave into sin and give up when times get rough between my wife and I (and trust me, there will be rough times)?
Am I financially stable enough to raise kids?
Will I be able to afford a mortgage to get a bigger house if we start having lots of kids?
Will I be able to abstain from sex if I can’t afford to have lots of kids?

Marriage is no walk in the park.

As for courting that gal you have your eye on. If her father isn’t a knight try to recruit him and make a good first impression on him. If he is a knight, ask him if you can court his daughter.

Or do what @Jen7 said and just ask her out to coffee or, if your parish has coffee hour, go to their table and make small talk with the family. First impressions are key.
 
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Also pray to St Raphael the archangel, my patron saint, who led the young Tobias to Sara and they got married and lived happily ever after.
O Raphael, lead us towards those we are waiting for, those who are waiting for us! Raphael, Angel of Happy Meetings, lead us by the hand towards those we are looking for! May all our movements, all their movements, be guided by your Light and transfigured by your Joy.

Angel Guide of Tobias, lay the request we now address to you at the feet of Him on whose unveiled Face you are privileged to gaze. Lonely and tired, crushed by the separations and sorrows of earth, we feel the need of calling to you and of pleading for the protection of your wings, so that we may not be as strangers in the Province of Joy, all ignorant of the concerns of our country.

Remember the weak, you who are strong–you whose home lies beyond the region of thunder, in a land that is always peaceful, always serene, and bright with the resplendent glory of God. Amen
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MockSock said:
There are Catholic and just general Christian dating sites (though not very many) where you can meet girls who don’t just want to hook up.
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This is very true. Myself and several of my good friends met our husbands online. All of us were very committed to saving ourselves for marriage. It can be a wonderful way to meet like minded people! Just use common sense about sharing personal information.
 
CarmeliteKnight said:
Marriage is no walk in the park.
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This is true at times BUT perhaps don’t think tooooo hard about it. 😉 If you are committed to fidelity no matter the cost, you will find ways to make the rough times smooth again.

Last week a neighbor was talking to my husband about all our kids. “Do you realize you’ll have teenagers in your house for almost 20 years straight?!” He said. To be honest… no, we didn’t realize that. We’d never thought about it. And when we did we felt kind of overwhelmed!! I jokingly said “it’s good I never thought of this before - I may not have had the courage to have so many kids!” It was only a half-joke though. Dwelling on how hard I anticipate the teen years will be may really have given me cold feet re: having a bunch of kids. I’m glad I didn’t think of it. Because the kids are here & they are wonderful & we will figure out the teen years together somehow. We really will. I’m glad I didn’t pre-dwell on my idea of what hardships lie ahead & when it comes to marriage I encourage you not to do the same. Just be ready to work hard & die to self - things a Christian should be doing anyway!! The details will figure themselves out.
 
Also, if you get married young and are faithful to the teachings of the church, do you have the income (you alone) to pay for 5,6, 7 children? You could have that many by the time you are in your early 30s.
Do you have the kind of job where you alone can support lots and lots of kids?
 
If they are the veil wearing type, I would suggest that you introduce yourself to the father first and get to know him. Let him know that you are impressed the women in the family wear veils and the devotion in the family. You may get an introduction just from that. If not, ask him for one.

In more conservative circles, courtship, not dating, is encouraged. A young age is not necessarily a stumbling block if the two are mature, the man has a way to provide for the family, and the young woman is capable of raising children at this point. Here’s a good sermon on courtship from a priest:

Marriage Conference

This is PenanceWare, made available to the laity in exchange for $1 or a decade of the Rosary.
 
If God blesses someone with 5,6,7…10,11,12 I am confident He will bless them with resources to raise them. Anyone determined to trust Him and live accordingly will somehow someway do fine. It may look a little different from another’s “normal” but God is always without exception faithful.
 
You sound a lot like me… If your heart is truly set on this girl, you should ask her out to dinner, coffee, or what have you. Otherwise, you’ll never end up dating her.

I’m terribly shy towards women my age, and of those who made their interest in me apparent, I always had a fear of rejection and never did ask them out. Naturally, they grew bored of waiting and dated someone else.

Ask her out, no matter how “unattainable” she may seem.
 
Thanks for all the replies! I’ll be responding soon as It was late last night and Im off to work so when I have time I can bring more information about my situation. Thanks so much for reading my post!
 
Thats probably really what I got to be considering at the moment. I am a university drop out, I only went to school for a semester at the dorms but I wasnt doing well at all so I came back to family. So at the moment Ive been working fulltime, not the best paying job for a family I can say, Ive been thinking of doing a trade in something but idk.
 
So I didnt add more to the post because it was pretty long already and late, but I apprieciate all the (name removed by moderator)ut thanks!!

So there’s some things I left out, like where Im at and where shes at. I am a college drop out, looking to find a career in a trade. While she is going to barely start college next year from what I can gather up. She is younger than me and I have been advised, by a great spiritual counsler, to approach the father before her. Basically like get to know them alot more before talking to her. The father is pretty tough from what I hear, so coffee and dating like the movies dont seem like the best option atm. Although he, spiritual counsler, mentioned it would be best if it were more in a retreat kind of setting and I agree! But thats my situation, I dont think the dad likes to see how involved in the church I am. Not to put the father down, hes very rightous and I strongly believe its because he is wary of I guess men going after what I know is his oldest daughter out of many children.
 
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I would say to let your admiration for this young lady spur you on in your studies or pursuit of a trade! Good luck to you and remember that a faint heart never won a fair lady!
 
Can you elaborate? You mean a sort of motivation? Thinking about her kind of makes me work a bit harder at my job, kind of if I had a family to feed lol.
 
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