Young People Leaving the Catholic Faith

[Padres1969]

While I’m not Catholic, I did find this article about Catholicism and those young people who leave it interesting personally seeing as I was one of those that left the church before I was 25 like those that were interviewed for this study.

osv.com/Article/TabId/49…Heres-why.aspx

One set of numbers that struck me as pretty damning of Catholic formation, particularly post Confirmation, was that 86% of the 1 in 3 young Catholics who leave the Church before they’re 25, do so before they’re 17. With 23% of those that leave dropping out of the Church by age 10 and a whopping 63% leaving between 10 and 17 years of age. Average age of leaving the Catholic Church was approximately 13 years of age. I always figured it was mainly high school and college age young adults who left the church, but it turns out far more leave far younger than I ever figured. And of those 1 in 3 young Catholics who leave the Church, 1 in 5 do so because they no longer believe in God, 11% because they no longer agree with organized religion, and a whopping 50% because they no longer agree with Catholic teaching.

And worrisome for the Catholic Church, only 13% could ever see themselves returning to the Church.

 

[Padres1969]

Since the original thread vanished without warning and we were having a good conversation I thought I’d repost it.

truetofaith:

I thought the age of reason at 7 yrs. meant the child now knows right from wrong, not that they’re old enough to decide whether there is a God or not or if they want to stop attending Church.

Well if they’re through the sacraments of initiation, meaning they’ve been fully initiated into the faith, why would anyone assume they can’t decide for themselves what they believe? I mean they are fully Catholic at that point are they not?

It’s one of the reasons I’ve always been perplexed by the desire to move Confirmation back to it’s traditional earlier time. It would seem counter intuitive to want to end the sacraments of initiation even earlier, and leave their faith entirely in the hands of an even more immature person than is already being done to apparently negative result.

 

[Padres1969]

phil19034:

This is 100% a sign of the parents, especially the fathers

For example, in my parish, there are approx 90 kids per “grade” from first grade to 6th for Religious education (we confirm in 6th grade).

But there are NO where near that number who attend Mass on Sunday (our Religious Ed programs for kids are on Tuesday & Wednesday nights, without a Sunday option)

There are many people who bring their kids to Child Faith Formation classes, but never bring their kids to Mass (except maybe on Easter or Christmas). Perhaps the parents promised their own parents that the kids would receive the sacraments, or something … so they bring them to Child Faith Formation, but not to mass.

In my parish, I don’t know what the % is, but in speaking to many of the Catechists, I know it’s a large number of the kids.

Our parish also has a pre-school, and a large number of them do not attend Mass, and same with the regional Catholic elementary school… most of the kids who attend the regional Catholic Elementary School are from my parish and a majority of them do not attend Mass on Sunday.

Why? Their parents.

So these kids are not leaving the faith on their own, per se. Their parents taught them nothing of the faith, no love of the faith, no love of God, etc… They just see Church as extra schooling. If they are not coming to mass, then it’s a safe bet that there isn’t any Rosary at home, no Grace before meals, no Confession, etc.

13 is a good average age of when Confirmation takes place… and many kids who have parents who don’t attend Mass will rarely ever attend Mass after their Confirmation (which is very sad).

Further proof of this, I was in a used book store, where I have seen at least twice Confirmation gift Bibles with kids names written in them… the Bibles were in the used book store only 2-4 years after the kid’s confirmation

When I was a kid, CCD was considered a “lab,” you main faith formation was in your house. But I was born in the late 1970s, grew up in the 1980s and early 1990s. So my parents knew very little, and my dad never attended Mass.

The only way to fight this is with hard nose faith formation, esp for the boys. Because, as the start of my post hinted, if dads are not engaged in their faith; chances are VERY high that the children will not be either.

Given my own history I’d actually agree to a large extent with your statement. I don’t think it’s all on the fathers, but their presence in the faith, or lack there of can be a big part of it. And indeed a lot of my own childhood mirrors what you are saying. I was raised about half a decade after you it seems in the '80’s and '90’s. But similarly Religious Education was primarily confined to religious classes in school (I went to Catholic School). My mom was the primary driver behind going to church when we did go as a family, my dad was primarily a special event or major feast attendee. We never attended confession as a family (the only confessions I ever went to were school sponsored ones or on my own when I was an older teen). And yes church was primarily seen as extra schooling to an extent, and it didn’t help that our parish (at least the one we attended though I found out last week it wasn’t the parish we were “supposed” to be attending) was attached to our school.

Strange thing about my dad though, despite his very lax attendance, it always struck me that he also never received the Catholic Eucharist, not once, that I can recall from childhood through to the present day when he did attend. His reasoning was that he hadn’t been to confession so he wasn’t going to go up for communion. Yet he never went for confession either. But his Catholic upbringing and I’d hazard to say faith, won’t allow him to receive in a state of mortal sin (which he’s lived in for at least the last 30 years). My mom on the other hand always went up despite also never having gone to Saturday confession that I’m aware of.

Some of this was on my mind when I posted this thread because my own daughter was baptized this past Sunday. And my parents attended and seemed more pleased by it than I expected, my dad even going so far as to tell me, “good job.” They were of course perplexed by a few things at my Episcopal Church, such as the woman priest assisting the presiding priest or that we profess to believe in “the holy catholic Church” during our reaffirming the Apostles Creed during the baptismal covenant despite not being the Roman Catholic Church. But they also seemed pleased that my daughter was baptized simply because it’s quote, “what you do.” We were discussing the fact that among those we know, baptism is quickly becoming the exception, not the rule (Catholic or otherwise). Where my wife not being baptized a generation ago was an oddity, it’s starting to seem like my daughter being baptized in her generation is now the oddity. My dad had an interesting spin on that in that he thinks the biggest issue with my Millennial generation, is that we don’t believe in anything anymore. Not God, and not even each other far too often in his words. Hence why they were surprised and pleased it was still important to me that I baptize my daughter.

And while I was glad they were glad, it also struck me as odd, and I said as much to my dad. That he was a pretty “bad” Catholic during our childhood (and through to today) and I gave a few examples and how could they have expected that I would still be a faithful enough Christian to want to baptize my kid. And his response was that how “good” they were shouldn’t necessarily matter. He didn’t elaborate on that, but it is something I’ve been pondering since Sunday brunch.
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[Padres1969]

Sarcelle:

This is why I do not get some people still propose the growing huge Catholic families to counteract the growing Muslim population.

It is one thing to be exhort married couples to be open to life and another to exhort married couples to have as many children as possible to counteract the growing Muslim population. Children born to Catholic couples are not guaranteed to remain in the faith.

Well keep in mind that even if this study’s data holds true, that 1 in 3 Catholics leave by 25, that also means 2 in 3 remain. So in theory, if Catholic families do continue to be larger, they’d proportionally produce more Catholics even if 33% do leave the faith by 25. And it seems to me that you’d be more likely to have a large family if you were a faithful Catholic, no? Thus potentially more likely to avoid producing one of the 33% who leave rather than one of the 66% who stay.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

What happened to all the posts?

 

[Padres1969]

What happened to all the posts?

Still in the original thread presumably. Don’t know what happened to it .

 

[ConfusedLucy]

Did people start fighting on it?

 

[Padres1969]

Did people start fighting on it?

Not that I saw. I was trying to post to it when it vanished suddenly without explanation. But it had been mostly cordial to that point with some good discussion going. Hence I put a sequel up to continue the conversation.

 

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

Yeah, maybe a mod can explain what happened; I have no clue. I posted a lengthy response, which I don’t have time to retype now, and there were some five good pages of responses when it vanished like Hillary’s yoga emails.

 

[Padres1969]

Yeah, maybe a mod can explain what happened; I have no clue. I posted a lengthy response, which I don’t have time to retype now, and there were some five good pages of responses when it vanished like Hillary’s yoga emails.

Maximilan Kolbe:

Cheiron:

What do 12 - 18 year olds know about God? Mostly, what parents and priests in the media tell them. I don’t have a Catholic background, but when I first realized what the concept of God really meant, I immediately rejected it. It just seems incomprehensible to me. And I was around nine or ten at the time. Do you really think a teenager can’t decide whether God exists or not?

Also, I’ve noticed that some people here want to force their children to go to Church or a Catholic school. Those people I’d like to ask if they think the First Amendment doesn’t apply to children. If your child says he or she wants to become a protestant, will you still force him/her to go to a Catholic school?

And I will say immediately that if I had children, I would gladly bring them to Church every sunday morning, if that’s what they want. Because, as a secular humanist, I think freedom of religion also applies to children. Unless the Church is around the corner, then they should use their bike.

The first amendment not only has limits, but doesn’t apply to non-government repercussions for speech. Since I don’t work for the government, it doesn’t apply to my children.

They can’t cuss. They must say please and thank you. I don’t allow my 5 year old to say “I hate xxx…” She isn’t allowed to watch Sleeping Beauty yet, much to her chagrin, because of the visage of Dragon-queen Malificent at the end. She goes to Mass twice a week.

The notion of freedom of speech no more applies to minors in their parents care than the child’s right to bear arms does.

Hopefully, with hard work from the day they are born (not starting years later), a close connection to God and family in all aspects of their life, and God’s providence, it will not come to forcing. But like anything else that is vital for a child, coercion can be necessary; if it weren’t my three year old would eat nothing but Dum-Dums for dinner.

I am not sure why the statistics of children are surprising. The stats for weekly Mass attending adults is around 25%, and 46% are aware of the Church’s teaching on the Real Presence and also believe it:

uscatholic.org/blog/20130…ving-too-27323

This also means a large chunk believe that Christ is present in the Eucharist, but isn’t worth seeing and taking part in once a week, which is probably even more galling.

When adult numbers are so gloomy, why is anyone surprised our children fall away?

There is no guarantee that a family will have a wayward child (or children), even when they do everything in the power to do the best by the child and God. But I have to be able to live with myself as a parent to the children entrusted to my wife and I by the Lord (they are His!), and if something happens to them, I need to be able to tell the Lord “Lord, I did everything in my power to care for your children.”

This the one you’re looking for?

And I agree with your premise. I mean it does start with the parents. If they don’t believe, how are they supposed to translate that over to the children? And with regard to the 1st amendment, you can argue that allowing a kid too much freedom in their religious upbringing, particularly undirected freedom, is a very good way to ensure they don’t come back. That’s not to say you need to drag a kid kicking and screaming to church, but hopefully it would never have to come to that. And that goes for more than just Catholics mind you but all Christians and even people of faith. It’s a balancing act it seems, too much freedom and they’re bound to choose something else, but too little and they’ll chafe under a too authoritarian approach.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

The reason why Karl Keating founded Catholic Answers is that … Catholics were starved for knowledge about Catholicism.

There was a void … a vacuum … and Karl’s timing was perfect.

Read Catholicism and Fundamentalism.

And then get a set of the tracts from the “shop” button.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Why are we seemingly embarrassed to tell people about Catholicism?

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Jehovah Witnesses are not embarrassed to talk about THEIR faith.

And a lot of them are former Catholics.

 

[Padres1969]

Why are we seemingly embarrassed to tell people about Catholicism?

I don’t think it’s embarrassment that is driving the numbers of those who are rejecting the Church, or belief in God, that this study uncovered. Seems to me many of those they sample the interviews of, had at least some decent explanation of Catholicism given to them. At least to the age level that they left the Church. But they rejected it anyway. Though as was being discussed in the previous thread, sometimes it can be apathy as well, particularly on the part of parents, not embarrassment, that also helps drive the younger generation away.

 

[Jeanne_S]

What happened to all the posts?

I am wondering the same thing?

 

[Upgrade25]

Not many of us are given formation at home. I have exceptional parents, but they didn’t raise me to practice the Faith. Even these amazing and loving people didn’t. Those with less loving parents… Well, I know that two have left the Faith for atheism.

 

[pianistclare]

Children leave the church because their parents never showed up int he first palce except to “get” their sacraments.
And still, many people think the restored order is a great idea.
No, no it’s not.
We live in different times. We have to adapt.
Kids need to stay in formation to combat popular media and poor influences that are around them 24-7.
It’s sad to see so many kids in classes, and being dropped off and the parents speeding away to another tee time, a chat at Starbucks, or shopping.
Most of these kids can’t drive.
It’s the parents who are in serious need of formation.

 

[slh3016]

Since the original thread vanished without warning and we were having a good conversation I thought I’d repost it.

Hmmm…that is strange. As of midnight, I didn’t see anything out of line on it.

 

[Padres1969]

Children leave the church because their parents never showed up int he first palce except to “get” their sacraments.
And still, many people think the restored order is a great idea.
No, no it’s not.
We live in different times. We have to adapt.
Kids need to stay in formation to combat popular media and poor influences that are around them 24-7.
It’s sad to see so many kids in classes, and being dropped off and the parents speeding away to another tee time, a chat at Starbucks, or shopping.
Most of these kids can’t drive.
It’s the parents who are in serious need of formation.

I don’t know if that’s the only reason people leave the RCC. I mean it will be interesting to see what the study referenced in the OP has in it when the more in depth version is released. But at the very least it seems that a fair number have a grasp of Catholic teaching since 50% left as a major reason that they didn’t agree with Catholic teaching. Meaning they had to have some understanding of Catholic teaching and some formation. I don’t think parents are exclusively to blame when someone drifts away from the RCC or God in general. But again the larger study results would be helpful in this regard.

Anecdotally we do hear from good Catholics on this board whose kids left the RCC despite strong formation that included active parents.

By the way, the link to the article isn’t good in the OP. Here is the correct link.

osv.com/Article/TabId/493/ArtMID/13569/ArticleID/20512/Young-people-are-leaving-the-faith-Heres-why.aspx

 

[Padres1969]

Not many of us are given formation at home. I have exceptional parents, but they didn’t raise me to practice the Faith. Even these amazing and loving people didn’t. Those with less loving parents… Well, I know that two have left the Faith for atheism.

Makes me wonder to an extent how much even in prior generations how much faith formation was done at home. I mean my own parents didn’t receive much in the way of faith formation from their parents at home. My grandmother and grandfather were reasonably religious (my grandfather for example served as an altar server in the Navy during WWII and could recite the entire Tridentine Mass from memory in Latin). And their own parents (my great grandparents) were even more devout from what I know of them. But again, I don’t know that they provided much in the way of religious teaching at home to my grandparents. It seems that going back at least 4 generations religious teaching has been primarily been left to the Catholic Church and their associated schools at least as it pertains to my family.

Could that be another aspect to the decline perhaps. A weakening in religious schooling in concert with a decline in home based faith (and teaching)? I’m admittedly asking semi-rhetorically because I know this is yet another aspect of the decline as it pertains to at least the RCC (though again I suspect all Christians religions are suffering from it to some extent as well). That schooling as well has been in decline.