Young People Leaving the Catholic Faith

[Jeanne_S]

At first, I thought that the Baltimore Catechism would be replaced with some kind of teaching tool with more in-depth content. But it wasn’t. It was replaced with some feel-good texts with lots of pictures and no serious content. The drop in catechesis was dramatic and profound. Several generations were taught nothing. I think that has now changed, but a lot of damage was done.

Agree.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

True peers do have an impact as well. It’s not like we’re going to find a smoking gun that explains why Catholics and other Christians have been leaving the faith. It’s an amalgam of reasons to be sure. But peers are definitely one. And in a way it probably ties back into the previously mentioned idea that most Catholics used to live in Catholic neighborhoods 70 years ago (and likewise Protestants lived in Protestant neighborhoods, etc…), but have been dispersing out among each other far more in the last half century. I mean just look at who your own friends and acquaintances are today. I doubt very much for most people that the majority of those who you call your peers are of the same faith as you. Mine certainly aren’t. The only other Episcopalians I know even as casual acquaintances are members of my church and my newly baptized daughter. Outside that, my other friends and acquaintances are all of various other faiths be their Christian or otherwise.

And that’s not a new development in my life. Even in Catholic High School when I was still Catholic, only about half the kids were Catholics, and in Catholic university an even lower percentage were Catholic. If I’d gone to public school I’m sure those numbers would have been even lower still.

It’s probably multifactorial, most things are but I think people no longer tending to live in tight knit faith communities has to make a difference. I have only 1 Catholic friend and he doesn’t live near me and 1 Catholic family member who again doesn’t live with me. When I got married we didn’t have the full mass because these two would have been the only other guests able to take communion. I don’t feel the church has accepted this and still seems to be catechizing teens as though they are going to be Catholics in this bygone community area when most of them will be lone Catholics in a non-Catholic environment.

In my case my non-Catholic Christian friends have been very supportive of my faith and my staying Catholic has had more to do with them than other Catholics who I attend church with but don’t really have a chance to get to know. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel tempted to give up and join one of their churches where I know I will be welcomed with open arms and have a group of friends to practice my faith with. I can understand why a lot of these young adults have left.

 

[pensmama87]

I don’t really understand the role of parents. I’m not a researcher or statistician but anecdotally most people I know live away from where they grew up and work in a different industry to their parents. I don’t know a lot of people who do things purely because their parents did, I always thought teens were more influenced by their peers than parents. That was certainly the case when I was a teen.

This is why I would advocate for a youth ministry that encourages young people to make their faith their own faith rather than assume that they will passively follow their parents to church. Even the most authoritarian parent will eventually lose influence over their child.

This is a very interesting book about this specific issue: Hold Onto Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers. While it is of course true that children grow older and become their own people with their own ideas, this book argues that the degree to which this occurs today and the fact that it keeps occurring at earlier and earlier ages is worrisome and not beneficial to healthy psychological development. There’s a difference between the natural process of becoming independent and becoming emotionally dependent on other people who are also not psychologically mature.

That said, I do think it’s important for children to have lots of role models in the faith, starting in the home, but also outside of it. I am very careful about this because our children attend public school. We are surrounded by lots of orthodox Catholic and otherwise traditionally minded people, who are involved in the school, but I’m also aware of the dangers (I went to public school and was a public school teacher myself for several years.) We’ll just have to see.

 

[Padres1969]

At first, I thought that the Baltimore Catechism would be replaced with some kind of teaching tool with more in-depth content. But it wasn’t. It was replaced with some feel-good texts with lots of pictures and no serious content. The drop in catechesis was dramatic and profound. Several generations were taught nothing. I think that has now changed, but a lot of damage was done.

How has Catholic education changed recently? I’m curious since I grew up in that post-Baltimore Catechism time you mention where people weren’t taught much of anything.

 

[Blessedwithfive]

How has Catholic education changed recently? I’m curious since I grew up in that post-Baltimore Catechism time you mention where people weren’t taught much of anything.

I teach now. The programs are very weak and the biggest problem is they are being taught by Catechists who were poorly Catechized. We have no training for teachers beyond one meeting where are are told not to let kids get into the desk, don’t write on the whiteboard and no food in the classrooms. Absolutely nothing about Catholic doctrine. And anyone can teach who wants to.

 

[JimG]

How has Catholic education changed recently? I’m curious since I grew up in that post-Baltimore Catechism time you mention where people weren’t taught much of anything.

The Baltimore Catechism taught doctrinal basics. We also learned bible history—salvation history from creation/Adam and Eve, Abraham and the stories in Genesis, all the way to the coming of Christ. This was in a Catholic elementary school. Shortly after I went on to high school, the nuns who had formerly taught at this school all left and were replaced by lay teachers. The Baltimore Catechism was replaced by puffery and banners. I was surprised to learn, by happenstance, about ten years later, that those who now had attended that same school where I learned the essential elements of the Faith, knew pretty much nothing of the Faith, not the simplest things.

A few years later I was teaching a CCD class. The teachers were asked to review suggested textbook series for the coming sessions. Out of about four contenders, there was only one series that had any substantial doctrinal teaching in it. That’s the one I recommended. But the one chosen to be used was the one with the least content and the most fluff. I pretty much disregarded it entirely.

I once heard from a priest who said he had learned nothing of Catholic doctrine until he got to seminary.

I no longer teach, but I think that, around here at least, teaching content has improved greatly. I know it has in the Catholic schools because I’ve had some contact with them, and I think that the PSR has as well, but I have no recent experience with it.

When I talk to young seminarians now, I find they are already knowledgeable in the Faith before arriving at seminary. And they seem to be about the only young people in the nation who are adequately trained in philosophy.

 

[JimG]

"After perusingthe latest Pew Studyon why young people are leaving the active practice of Christianity, I confess that I just sighed in exasperation. I don’t doubt for a moment the sincerity of those who responded to the survey, but the reasons they offer for abandoning Christianity are just so uncompelling. That is to say, any theologian, apologist, or evangelist worth his salt should be able easily to answer them. …

I don’t blame the avatars of secularism for actively attempting to debunk Christianity; that’s their job, after all. But I do blame teachers, catechists, evangelists, and academics within the Christian churches for not doing enough to keep our young people engaged. These studies consistently demonstrate that unless we believers seriously pick up our game intellectually, we’re going to keep losing our kids."

• –Bishop Robert Barron in an article here

 

[HouseArrest]

Children leave the church because their parents never showed up int he first palce except to “get” their sacraments.
And still, many people think the restored order is a great idea.
No, no it’s not.
We live in different times. We have to adapt.
Kids need to stay in formation to combat popular media and poor influences that are around them 24-7.
It’s sad to see so many kids in classes, and being dropped off and the parents speeding away to another tee time, a chat at Starbucks, or shopping.
Most of these kids can’t drive.
It’s the parents who are in serious need of formation.

I think the restored order is a great idea.

I can get my kids to Catholic school/Religious Ed/Can speak to them about the faith, even when they go all teenager on me. Or, maybe I can’t, but they are not losing as much missing Religious Ed than they are not being confirmed.

Confirmation completes Baptismal grace and strengthens the individual with the Holy Spirit. If my children are going to take a leave of absence from the faith (all the while I am praying fervently that the leave isn’t permanent) I would rather have them confirmed first.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

This is a very interesting book about this specific issue: Hold Onto Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers. While it is of course true that children grow older and become their own people with their own ideas, this book argues that the degree to which this occurs today and the fact that it keeps occurring at earlier and earlier ages is worrisome and not beneficial to healthy psychological development. There’s a difference between the natural process of becoming independent and becoming emotionally dependent on other people who are also not psychologically mature.

That said, I do think it’s important for children to have lots of role models in the faith, starting in the home, but also outside of it. I am very careful about this because our children attend public school. We are surrounded by lots of orthodox Catholic and otherwise traditionally minded people, who are involved in the school, but I’m also aware of the dangers (I went to public school and was a public school teacher myself for several years.) We’ll just have to see.

I think there is something in that but it’s such a huge challenge to counteract it. Western society is so age segregated, once at school you spend most of your time with people your age, before school many kids do long hours in daycare (also age segregated) and with college or university many go away from home and are again with their peer group. Add to this the break up of extended family and parent’s stranger danger anxieties and you end up with young people who have limited interaction beyond their parents and their peers.

Going to church for the first time without either peers or parents can be a huge culture shock.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

This is a very interesting book about this specific issue: Hold Onto Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers. While it is of course true that children grow older and become their own people with their own ideas, this book argues that the degree to which this occurs today and the fact that it keeps occurring at earlier and earlier ages is worrisome and not beneficial to healthy psychological development. There’s a difference between the natural process of becoming independent and becoming emotionally dependent on other people who are also not psychologically mature.

That said, I do think it’s important for children to have lots of role models in the faith, starting in the home, but also outside of it. I am very careful about this because our children attend public school. We are surrounded by lots of orthodox Catholic and otherwise traditionally minded people, who are involved in the school, but I’m also aware of the dangers (I went to public school and was a public school teacher myself for several years.) We’ll just have to see.

I think there is something in that but it’s such a huge challenge to counteract it. Western society is so age segregated, once at school you spend most of your time with people your age, before school many kids do long hours in daycare (also age segregated) and with college or university many go away from home and are again with their peer group. Add to this the break up of extended family and parent’s stranger danger anxieties and you end up with young people who have limited interaction beyond their parents and their peers.

Going to church for the first time without either peers or parents can be a huge culture shock. I know I felt like leaving when it happened to me and have a few friends who gave up on church at this point.

 

[Rosebud77]

I think there is something in that but it’s such a huge challenge to counteract it. Western society is so age segregated, once at school you spend most of your time with people your age, before school many kids do long hours in daycare (also age segregated) and with college or university many go away from home and are again with their peer group. Add to this the break up of extended family and parent’s stranger danger anxieties and you end up with young people who have limited interaction beyond their parents and their peers.

Going to church for the first time without either peers or parents can be a huge culture shock.

Interesting. I know I am old and also that I was raised in England just after the war, but even so . Every school day started with Assembly, a hymn, prayers, Bible reading, I can remember feeling totally in awe of the slightly older kids who could recite the Lord’s prayer and that that at one time was the sum total of my life ambition. We had religious teaching lessons also.
That continued all through until University or leaving time.

Maybe our system then of Sunday School until 14 year old Confirmation made is all easier? Then going to real Church became a rite of passage.

My parents never went to church ( My father was a teachr who ran away with the scripture teacher where he taught ) Yet both of us stayed in Church,

Although I think two or three only who were confirmed when I was stayed and one of those left when a new vicar arrived, saying she did not like his “churchmanship” . So really little has changed.

My whole life has always centred around Christianity even through years of abuse from many church sources. I cannot imagine it otherwise, Ihad friends who were much the same.

Now I think the intentional lifestyle we live matters most? Then folk will ask. And I suggest they go to Mass and see. One free church person came back to me astounded it was gospel centred. I know folk in many churches now. And always it is for me lifestyle that clinches. When we can teach with eyes firmly open and honest, I can gently “correct” eg the young woman who tells me she is living with her 'partner " and that everyrone does it sit now, that this is wrong and why. rather then “blind” teaching.

 

[Origen52]

A lot of “bad things” happened after the 1960’s.

But I think the worst thing was abandonment of the Baltiimore Catechism, which explained everything in a compact and concise form.

The next worst thing, in my opinion, was the giving up of abstinence from meat on Friday.

And then, there was the folding of Holy Days of Obligation.

There was a certain “Catholic Identity” … and we have lost that.

[The info on that saint was not in their parish bulletin either.]

I agree with you about losing a Catholic identity. When I was in elementary school in the 60s, those of us who were Catholics really stood out. We didn’t eat meat on Friday, we got to take time off on holy days of obligation to go to mass, we crossed ourselves whenever we passed a Catholic Church, we went to catechism class on Saturday morning. It gave you a strong sense of identity and constantly reminded you that you were a people apart from the secular society. Today nothing reminds a Catholic child that they are not fully in union with the secular world.

Contrast that with Muslims who through their dress, their prayer life and their strong fasts are constantly reminded that they are not fully part of the secular society in which they live. After Vatican II, the church marginalized itself from daily life. It is easy to forget one is a Catholic, there are no demands made except to go to church once a week. That one hour a week is totally eclipsed by the ease with which a Catholic can slip back into the secular world the rest of the week. Pretty soon going to mass loses meaning because there is no life of faith being lived that needs to be nourished by the Eucharist.

I’m impressed that 2 out of 3 remain Catholic.

 

[Blessedwithfive]

I think the restored order is a great idea.

I can get my kids to Catholic school/Religious Ed/Can speak to them about the faith, even when they go all teenager on me. Or, maybe I can’t, but they are not losing as much missing Religious Ed than they are not being confirmed.

Confirmation completes Baptismal grace and strengthens the individual with the Holy Spirit. If my children are going to take a leave of absence from the faith (all the while I am praying fervently that the leave isn’t permanent) I would rather have them confirmed first.

I totally agree with this. I have been teaching CCD classes, including Confirmation classes for over 20 years now and in the beginning I was all for only the kids that really wanted Confirmation and were serious about their faith should be Confirmed. Not so much any more. I have come to realize that the kids who have a weak faith and who have parents with a weak faith, NEED the sacrament the most. Many kids have come back to me, saying they didn’t deserve the sacrament, but they are so happy they received it now. I think we have to remember that we are in this for the long haul.

 

[Blessedwithfive]

I agree with you about losing a Catholic identity. When I was in elementary school in the 60s, those of us who were Catholics really stood out. We didn’t eat meat on Friday, we got to take time off on holy days of obligation to go to mass, we crossed ourselves whenever we passed a Catholic Church, we went to catechism class on Saturday morning. It gave you a strong sense of identity and constantly reminded you that you were a people apart from the secular society. Today nothing reminds a Catholic child that they are not fully in union with the secular world.

Contrast that with Muslims who through their dress, their prayer life and their strong fasts are constantly reminded that they are not fully part of the secular society in which they live. After Vatican II, the church marginalized itself from daily life. It is easy to forget one is a Catholic, there are no demands made except to go to church once a week. That one hour a week is totally eclipsed by the ease with which a Catholic can slip back into the secular world the rest of the week. Pretty soon going to mass loses meaning because there is no life of faith being lived that needs to be nourished by the Eucharist.

I’m impressed that 2 out of 3 remain Catholic.

Many kids still have a Catholic identity. It really is up to the parents to prioritize. They go to public school and receive an excused dismissal early on Holy Days. They still have a meatless option at the school cafe. We started a “No games before noon” policy at soccer when I was team manager so all kids could attend religious services. Public schools have been very understanding. When it came to the Confirmation retreat, the kids in soccer were given an excused absence from practice so they could play the game the following day (otherwise they have to sit out for missing). The Catholic high school would not excuse the kids from practice and those kids skipped the retreat. Sad.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Amazon carries the Baltimore Catechism.

Updated.

Buy it,

Read it.

 

[Rico_S]

I have a different perspective than most here. I don’t believe the exodus stems from poor catechesis. In my experience, the people who were brought up on the Baltimore catechism aren’t necessarily more familiar with the faith or have a deeper understanding; they were simply great rule followers. They knew the rules, followed them—sort of the Pay, pray, and obey principle. Today, I contend that there far, far more catholics having a solid understanding of Church History and Church teachings than ever before in the history of the faith.

People didn’t leave the faith before b/c it really was never challenged within their peer group or in the public arena. With access to information at our fingertips, and the availability to find varying opinions (right or wrong), we now are no longer moving in the same direction simply b/c that is what we have always done. There are enough outside influences now to “move the needle” , so to speak.

 

[Rosebud77]

I agree with you about losing a Catholic identity. When I was in elementary school in the 60s, those of us who were Catholics really stood out. We didn’t eat meat on Friday, we got to take time off on holy days of obligation to go to mass, we crossed ourselves whenever we passed a Catholic Church, we went to catechism class on Saturday morning. It gave you a strong sense of identity and constantly reminded you that you were a people apart from the secular society. Today nothing reminds a Catholic child that they are not fully in union with the secular world.

Contrast that with Muslims who through their dress, their prayer life and their strong fasts are constantly reminded that they are not fully part of the secular society in which they live. After Vatican II, the church marginalized itself from daily life. ** It is easy to forget one is a Catholic, there are no demands made except to go to church once a week. That one hour a week is totally eclipsed by the ease with which a Catholic can slip back into the secular world the rest of the week. Pretty soon going to mass loses meaning because there is no life of faith being lived that needs to be nourished by the Eucharist.**

I’m impressed that 2 out of 3 remain Catholic.

This has been my increasing awareness for a long while. A sadness but a relief to read it so eloquently expressed,

Sometimes here in rural Ireland, we still see the old ways. Of folk blessing themselves when they pass a church. Once saw a man take his hat off when he walked past.

 

[pensmama87]

I think there is something in that but it’s such a huge challenge to counteract it. Western society is so age segregated, once at school you spend most of your time with people your age, before school many kids do long hours in daycare (also age segregated) and with college or university many go away from home and are again with their peer group. Add to this the break up of extended family and parent’s stranger danger anxieties and you end up with young people who have limited interaction beyond their parents and their peers.

Going to church for the first time without either peers or parents can be a huge culture shock.

I think it can be very hard, but I don’t think it necessarily has to be that way, and I know for one I am not giving up.

There were some significant problems in my family of origin, but I will say that I felt grounded and secure enough in my relationships that I never even entertained a thought of doing several very dangerous and stupid things that enticed my peers. My parents were not overbearing, and even though I was certainly a lot more rebellious a teen than I am now as a young parent myself, I never thought my parents were stupid people. They might be wrong on individual issues () but I did respect them and value their experiences. The most trouble I got into were times when they pulled back entirely thinking I had to be independent when I wasn’t quite ready for that.

So, I don’t think at all it’s time to throw in the towel yet. The book I referenced does explore the phenomenon but it also offers some really great practical suggestions for keeping children parent-oriented. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t recommend unlimited access to social media technology.

 

[Origen52]

Many kids still have a Catholic identity. It really is up to the parents to prioritize. They go to public school and receive an excused dismissal early on Holy Days. They still have a meatless option at the school cafe. We started a “No games before noon” policy at soccer when I was team manager so all kids could attend religious services. Public schools have been very understanding. When it came to the Confirmation retreat, the kids in soccer were given an excused absence from practice so they could play the game the following day (otherwise they have to sit out for missing). The Catholic high school would not excuse the kids from practice and those kids skipped the retreat. Sad.

You support my point that catholicity needs to be bought into ones secular life. Good for you for helping that happen. I don’t know about the US, but in Canada there are few holy days of obligation, that were not moved to Sunday, so there is no basis to ask for permission to attend mass. All cafeterias have meatless options to accommodate vegetarians, vegans and Hindus and Buddhists, most of whom are vegetarians.
I taught at an adult Ed centre run by our Catholic board. We sold pizza on Fridays. We didn’t have to order vegetarian pizza until Hindu students began to attend. No Catholic ever asked for a vegetarian pizza. So in Canada, at least, meatless Fridays are no longer a reality for the majority of Catholics.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I think it can be very hard, but I don’t think it necessarily has to be that way, and I know for one I am not giving up.

There were some significant problems in my family of origin, but I will say that I felt grounded and secure enough in my relationships that I never even entertained a thought of doing several very dangerous and stupid things that enticed my peers. My parents were not overbearing, and even though I was certainly a lot more rebellious a teen than I am now as a young parent myself, I never thought my parents were stupid people. They might be wrong on individual issues () but I did respect them and value their experiences. The most trouble I got into were times when they pulled back entirely thinking I had to be independent when I wasn’t quite ready for that.

So, I don’t think at all it’s time to throw in the towel yet. The book I referenced does explore the phenomenon but it also offers some really great practical suggestions for keeping children parent-oriented. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t recommend unlimited access to social media technology.

Oh no, just because something like this is hard doesn’t mean give up. I really feel for parents these days though as it’s hard and there seem to be so many Catholic parents trying their best and failing at this. My previous church was mainly elderly and there were so many homilies on how to support and pray for children no longer attending church.

Even though I probably am still influenced more by peers I am actually very close with my parents and will take advice from them. I think the problem is more being able to relate to them. My mother and I have talked about this and we have to admit that our childhoods, schooldays and coming of age had little in common. Likewise when I look at people just 10 years younger than me it seems like they are becoming adults in a very different world than my peers.

The mistake a lot of older people make when working with young people is assuming they are younger versions of themselves, they aren’t necessarily, they grew up in a different time and may not be able to directly relate to your experiences. That doesn’t of course mean they can’t respect or admire you. I have met some wonderful influential older people at university.

I think we should encourage a Catholic identity especially with our children and try to encourage any enthusiasm they show for their faith.