Your Annulment Experience

[gcshapero]

I am at the very end of my annulment process. It has been a year and some months since it began.

I went through a week of anxiety realizing it is a reality and that marriage could indeed happen again. I had a sudden jolt of distrust for women and even angst against them, considering briefly to go the way of MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way – an internet movement of men rejecting marriage and relationships with women completely).

It may have come from Satan to shake me up. All of that was fleeting and I’m finding more peace in this.

What has your experiences been?

 

[Sugabee43]

Question: how do you know you’re at the end of your annulment process? Were you notified that a judgment was pending or something? Are you the Petitioner or the Respondent?

The reason I ask is that my (sacramental) husband petitioned for annulment over a year ago, and I’ve heard absolutely nothing.
For me, at this point, I have ZERO desire to remarry or even date- I’m so numb to it all, after devoting 24 years to someone. I have no angst against men in general, but certainly distrust…but really, I feel that toward most humans the older I get.

 

[gcshapero]

Petitioner (I think that’s my role since I initiated it – it’s still a confusing process sometimes).

When I say at the end, I mean I have completed the questionnaires (Error regarding Indissolubility, Grave Lack of Due Discretion of Judgment, and Preliminary Depositions). They are in review – how long that will take is another story).

What steps have you taken so far with your annulment? Did you only complete your statement? Do you communicate with your advocate regularly?

That’s understandable.

 

[Sugabee43]

I’m the Respondent, so all I know is what I’m told. I have completed my questionnaire, and my witnesses have completed theirs and mailed them, but I have no idea about my husband and his witnesses. I don’t even know if it’s in review. I have no advocate, since I’m not the Petitioner. Unless I’m doing it wrong. lol

 

[gcshapero]

I may be wrong, but I think that if your former husband was the petitioner and now nothing has been taking place, it is very possible that it is either still in review but they aren’t as vocal to you (which I think is common for the Respondent), or he stopped the process/stopped participating which means it isn’t moving forward.

What I would do is schedule an appointment with your parish priest and let him know what is going on. It is very possible that you may be able to become the petitioner if your former spouse stepped back from the process.

Annulments are most of all about healing. It may be a good step if you think there is still healing needed.

 

[Sugabee43]

I asked my ex last night- he says it’s “in review” with the committee but he hasn’t heard anything. I really feel like I have no skin in the game; meaning that I’ll do whatever the Church decides. If the bonds of nullity are granted, then okay. If they’re not, that’s fine with me, too. He’s the one who wants to date and find someone else- and he’s been dating and trying to find other women via dating sites since before the civil divorce was final.

 

[gcshapero]

Well whether you’re the respondent or the petitioner, you’re always at the will of the tribunal, and the tribunal is at the will of God – of course it means we have to trust that the Holy Spirit will guide their decision directly.

The fact that your ex was seeking other relationships prior to the civil divorce may be something that the tribunal will look closely too in case there were patterns of this prior to the marriage of signs of this behavior. I’m not expert, but this is my understanding based on my own experience of going through it.

 

[Golightlyholly]

Well, my annulment took about a year. I corresponded on a regular basis with my lawyer, but it was clear case and it was very unlikely that they would not grant me the annulment.

The worst during this time was a good friend saying that she would never date a divorcé to me.
Who in our secular society cares what an annulment is anyway?
It felt like the last slap of Satan into my face after this mockery of marriage I had been in.
It’s like Satan loves to humiliate us in our weakest states.

Men hating women is no new phenomenon but this society rewards scoundrel behaviour and tells women they must compromise their standards to find someone okay because there so few Christian men.

Also, it can be hard no to lose hope when everyone around you is having short term relationships and cohabiting…