Your favorite (or least favorite) child/parent

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Lea101

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So today my dad bought food for everyone except me and me, being really dramatic (and really, really hungry and broke) remembered a study I read in my psychology lecture where researchers found that as much as parents refuse to admit it, they tend to have a favorite child.

Personally I have noticed it- my friends’ parents tend to favor her brother (her other brother and sister are homosexuals, she is a bisexual) because he is straight, my parents preferred my other siblings (I don’t even have food tonight 😃 ) my cousin prefers her oldest child, stuff like that.

I’m just curious to see what you guys think (whether you think you don’t have a favorite, and relax, I’m sure your kids won’t find out!)

If you aren’t a parent, then I guess I can flip it around (who is your favorite parent). My favorite parent was my mom, she was the ‘calm’ in my family 🙂
 
I’m not sure who my parents favored, but I’m reasonably confident that it wasn’t me. I haven’t decided which of my kids I like the most yet. I’m holding out because I might still have more and I want to see all my options.
 
I’ve never had kids, but, I am a Daddy’s girl all the way. I appreciate how hard-working my Mom is and how much she cares for the family and see now that my Dad is not the best model of what a husband should be, but, my Mom can be very crazy and judgmental; my earliest threads on CAF were all about that and I believe now that she is part of the reason why I have very little confidence.
 
Not only psychology says it, but even a priest teaching theology at the PUCPR said that it is a lie when parents say they have no favorite child.

In my case, I’m not sure about who is the favorite one between me and my sisters. But I know for sure that I’m the favorite granddaughter, and I’ve been told so by my grandparents.
 
Apparently, I was my maternal grandmother’s favorite. My aunt and uncle make fun of me for it and even my mom says so. I never noticed special treatment when she was alive.
 
E_7 said:
Not only psychology says it, but even a priest teaching theology at the PUCPR said that it is a lie when parents say they have no favorite child.

In my case, I’m not sure about who is the favorite one between me and my sisters. But I know for sure that I’m the favorite granddaughter, and I’ve been told so by my grandparents.
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I have no favorite child, all my kids are different and I embrace thier differences.

I definitely was the least favorite child of my mother. My favorite parent was my dad, and I also considered my grandmother a favorite too.
 
I remember a friend had two sons. While on the phone with her, I could hear her yell at the older one. Another day she told me about her younger son ‘He is my little snoopy, things I could not stand about my older son I just adore about him’:eek:

My heart just bled for the older son. To have such a double standard.

Another one of my friends clearly favored her older child (a boy) to her daughter. It just kills me how she could be so blind to her favouritism.

Yes, many parents do have a favourite.
 
I have one son – and he’s my favorite. 😛

My dad, God rest his soul, was absent throughout most of my childhood, though my parents remained married until his death in 2001. I know he loved me and my brother in his own way, but there was never a question of who he loved most. He just wasn’t around enough for it to matter.

I have an older brother, and for awhile I thought that he was totally my mom’s favorite of the two of us. Surprisingly, however, it didn’t bother me in the least. Even if my brother is my mom’s favorite, I thought, I know that she absolutely loves me! ❤️

Now that I’m a lot older (48), I see that my mom simply relates to each of us differently – we are extremely different people. I have no doubt whatsoever that my mom found a way to relate to each of her children according to who we each were. We each had different strengths and weaknesses. We’ve each had soaring successes and crushing failures. We each demonstrate love in our own ways.

I think my brother is a lot more like my mom in temperament and personality. I’m much more like my dad. Sometimes I think my similarities with my dad can drive my poor mom crazy. 😊

Don’t worry about where you “rank” on your parents’ “favorites” list. Chances are they are relating to each child according to each one’s individual personalities and needs. That doesn’t mean that love is lacking. It may be easier to love someone who is more alike to ourselves. But love for someone is very different from our temperament and personalities is the sweeter and more precious because it may have taken more conscious effort.

God bless all y’all.
 
Gertabelle said:
I have one son – and he’s my favorite. 😛

Don’t worry about where you “rank” on your parents’ “favorites” list. Chances are they are relating to each child according to each one’s individual personalities and needs. That doesn’t mean that love is lacking. It may be easier to love someone who is more alike to ourselves. But love for someone is very different from our temperament and personalities is the sweeter and more precious because it may have taken more conscious effort.

God bless all y’all.
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Yeah I guess that’s true for some families, young children don’t really understand as much.

Like when my little sister was born, my parents pretty much ignored me and I thought that they loved the baby more. Obviously now I know that my sister was a baby, of course she needed the attention.

But then I recently found out that my mom used to take my brothers out to cafes and movies without me when I was younger. I can’t really remember a time where I felt really wanted/loved in my family (besides my aunt, she adored me:) ) So that kind of stings a little. (Still love her tho) But that’s a middle kid for ya!

Kids who don’t feel like they ‘favorite’ apparently develop more problems than those without, which sucks. So you parents better give your kid a huge hug later lol
 
mommy_k said:
I have no favorite child, all my kids are different and I embrace thier differences.

I definitely was the least favorite child of my mother. My favorite parent was my dad, and I also considered my grandmother a favorite too.
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There’s not one child who you enjoy spending time a little bit more? Or one child that irritates you more? Wow you must be an angel or something:D
 
Which of my children is my favorite? Depends on the day…I love them both equally. But I like them differently at different times, I’m human. When my little one is fighting bedtime for 2 hours of straight screaming, we aren’t friends. I still love her, but we aren’t friends. When my son is deliberately testing my boundaries with rules and consequences, we aren’t friends, but I still love him.

My parents, I always though loved me equally, but now that I am older I’m pretty sure my dad was never as keen on children as my mom was. She passed away 4 years ago, and he has grown more and more distant, he spends his time hanging out with other retirees and courting women. He came to all my son’s birthday parties, but missed my daughters first one because his lady friend was going to the lake and he wanted to go. He only calls when he wants something, which is once a quarter or less, he lives 10 minutes away. He is this way to all of us kids. So I think one parent loved the kids more, not necessarily that we loved one parent more.
 
Allegra said:
I’m not sure who my parents favored, but I’m reasonably confident that it wasn’t me. I haven’t decided which of my kids I like the most yet. I’m holding out because I might still have more and I want to see all my options.
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Cute!:😛
 
mommy_k said:
I have no favorite child, all my kids are different and I embrace thier differences.
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That is how I feel about my children too. It’s like comparing apples, oranges and peaches.
Lea101 said:
There’s not one child who you enjoy spending time a little bit more? Or one child that irritates you more? Wow you must be an angel or something:D
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Just because I enjoy spending time with one doing one thing, doesn’t mean I don’t have something else I enjoy doing with the others. 🙂 Someone can irritate us, but it doesn’t diminish the love a parent feels for a child.

So no, I don’t have a favorite child either.
 
Gertabelle said:
I have one son – and he’s my favorite. 😛

My dad, God rest his soul, was absent throughout most of my childhood, though my parents remained married until his death in 2001. I know he loved me and my brother in his own way, but there was never a question of who he loved most. He just wasn’t around enough for it to matter.

I have an older brother, and for awhile I thought that he was totally my mom’s favorite of the two of us. Surprisingly, however, it didn’t bother me in the least. Even if my brother is my mom’s favorite, I thought, I know that she absolutely loves me! ❤️

Now that I’m a lot older (48), I see that my mom simply relates to each of us differently – we are extremely different people. I have no doubt whatsoever that my mom found a way to relate to each of her children according to who we each were. We each had different strengths and weaknesses. We’ve each had soaring successes and crushing failures. We each demonstrate love in our own ways.

I think my brother is a lot more like my mom in temperament and personality. I’m much more like my dad. Sometimes I think my similarities with my dad can drive my poor mom crazy. 😊

Don’t worry about where you “rank” on your parents’ “favorites” list. Chances are they are relating to each child according to each one’s individual personalities and needs. That doesn’t mean that love is lacking. It may be easier to love someone who is more alike to ourselves. But love for someone is very different from our temperament and personalities is the sweeter and more precious because it may have taken more conscious effort.

God bless all y’all.
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I think you’re on the right track here, but I think as parents we should be aware that while some of our children may legitimately need more positive reinforcement and attention than others, the “quieter wheels” can come to harbor resentment toward them, and their siblings if they perceive that their emotional needs and feelings are not being attended to. When I was a teen, I caused my mother very little trouble. I pretty much exceeded the standard expectations for what teens are supposed to do, without requiring anything above the basic food, shelter, and rides. Objectively, I was easily the best behaved of my siblings while the others put my parents through absolute hell. Two of my siblings, in particular, were very difficult to love during their teens and young adulthood. As a result, I often got loads of emotional and verbal abuse heaped on my for what most people would consider the most minor of annoyances while my mother frayed the edges of logic and sanity trying to convince herself, the school, and the legal system, that these siblings were “really good kids at heart.”
 
Lea101 said:
So today my dad bought food for everyone except me and me, being really dramatic (and really, really hungry and broke) remembered a study I read in my psychology lecture where researchers found that as much as parents refuse to admit it, they tend to have a favorite child.

Personally I have noticed it- my friends’ parents tend to favor her brother (her other brother and sister are homosexuals, she is a bisexual) because he is straight, my parents preferred my other siblings (I don’t even have food tonight 😃 ) my cousin prefers her oldest child, stuff like that.

I’m just curious to see what you guys think (whether you think you don’t have a favorite, and relax, I’m sure your kids won’t find out!)

If you aren’t a parent, then I guess I can flip it around (who is your favorite parent). My favorite parent was my mom, she was the ‘calm’ in my family 🙂
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Did you ever get anything to eat? Does this happen often? Are you without money for food? Do you go hungry often? This concerns me. Do you know where to get help if you need food? Oh dear, this makes me very sad. 😦
 
I only have one child, and I grew up in a weird situation where I had two half-siblings who were already away at boarding school by the time I was 3 or 4. I’d say my half-sister was definitely the least favorite. I’m not sure who was more favored between my half-brother and me, since he was rarely around and we grew up at separate times. My mom is my favorite. I didn’t used to have a favorite, but then I grew to realize my dad is an emotionally abusive jerk. My mom isn’t perfect either and can grate on my nerves, but I was always having to walk on eggshells around my dad and you never know when he’s going to flip out over nothing.
 
Irishmom2 said:
That is how I feel about my children too. It’s like comparing apples, oranges and peaches.

Just because I enjoy spending time with one doing one thing, doesn’t mean I don’t have something else I enjoy doing with the others. 🙂 Someone can irritate us, but it doesn’t diminish the love a parent feels for a child.

So no, I don’t have a favorite child either.
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Well stated. We’re called to love unconditionally.
 
Irishmom2 said:
That is how I feel about my children too. It’s like comparing apples, oranges and peaches.

Just because I enjoy spending time with one doing one thing, doesn’t mean I don’t have something else I enjoy doing with the others. 🙂 Someone can irritate us, but it doesn’t diminish the love a parent feels for a child.

So no, I don’t have a favorite child either.
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Well said Irishmom. I don’t have a favourite parent or sibling. Though each of my parents have different qualities that means I’ll live them.in different ways. Same with siblings. I’m reasonably sure my parents don’t have a favourite. I used to think they did when I was younger but I grew out of that. I think teens and young children probably believe their parents favour siblings. It seems like there’s a little immaturity/egoism involved in this belief?
 
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