Your imput please....Catholic etiquette?

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Fr.Joe

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Hello folks.

Need your (name removed by moderator)ut please for a book about Catholic etiquette I’m working on.

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?

3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

God bless.
Fr. Joe
 
Hello folks.

Need your (name removed by moderator)ut please for a book about Catholic etiquette I’m working on.

God bless.
Fr. Joe
1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?

Leaving out parts or words.

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?

Respect and Reverence while in the liturgical space. I other words once thru the doors shut up and focus on God!

3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?

Reverence and Respect in general, specifically for the Blessed Sacrament in the Tabernacle. I’ve been in parishes where you would have thought you were in a gym after a basketball game instead of a church with the Blessed Sacrament present.

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

Signs on the doors asking for quiet and Respect upon passing through these doors. I would not think playing some Gregoran Chant at a low level over the sound system would hurt. It would set the tone that this is God’s house. And practice the choir music some other time, not just before Mass! Seeing the Priests and Deacons genuflect when passing before the Taberncale would also help.
 
Fredrica Matthewes Greene put together a pamphlet to be handed out to visitors and made available to “regulars.” It was a light-hearted look at what to expect on visiting an Orthodox Church. frederica.com/12-things/

If somthing along those lines could be done in the Western tradition, it could be very helpful . . .

Sample topics could be:
Don’t be afraid of silence.
Spot the Tabernacle: “Who is there and how do we reverence Him?”
Sit, Stand, Kneel: when, where and why?
When and how should (or shouldn’t I) receive Communion?
 
1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?

Leaving out parts or words.
or adding words
our priest constantly ad libs.
and he is constantly saying “thank you” thru out the mass. every reply we make he takes personally and says thank you!
priest: peace be with you
congregation: and also with you
priest: thank you
 
1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?

People chit chatting before mass when they are in the pews.
Inappropriate attire- short shorts, baggy pants on guys, tank tops, etc.
Laughing and giggling during the mass.
Gum chewing.
Banging the kneelers on the floor.
People not taking kids to the cry room when the kids are very disruptive.

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?
Reverence to the tabernacle.
Following approved liturgical form.

3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?
Reverence in church, lack of knowledge about the sacraments,esp. the importance of confession, etc.

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?
Teach these things during the sermon if necessary.
 
Hello folks.

Need your (name removed by moderator)ut please for a book about Catholic etiquette I’m working on.
Hope my answers are ok Father.
1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?
People leaving early constantly, I sit in the back in the wheelchair section and people are leaving as soon as they receive the Eucharist.
2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?
The hand holding, can’t stand it.
3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?
respect
4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

God bless.
Fr. Joe
Maybe have some classes or even incorporate the education into the Sermon.
 
Hello folks.

Need your (name removed by moderator)ut please for a book about Catholic etiquette I’m working on.

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?
People who talk, extraordinary ministers who don’t reverence the Host or the Blessed Sacrament in the Tabernacle while performing their functions(don’t genuflect when opening the Tabernacle, etc), people who leave after Communion, people who show off.
2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?
Always, always showing reverence to the Blessed Sacrament, respectful silence, humilty.
3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?
A realization of what Mass is, a respect for the liturgy, proper motives in going, reverence for the Blessed Sacrament.
4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?
Without meaning to sound like a hardcore traditionalist, ad orientem worship. Even in a Mass with modern music, the priest facing with the people would help tremendously in re-focusing the liturgy and the reverence. I am a teenager, and I don’t WANT to feel like it is a prayer meeting, I want the priest to be taking the sacrifice and prayers of the community to God, for us. Not putting on a show.

Offering classes, or using part of the homily to explain various parts of the Mass would be good too. Then people can’t avoid it =D
 
Another poster mentioned a phamlet… I think that’s a great idea along with putting them in the pews next to the Missalettes.

I would say the number one thing for me would be talking during Mass. Someone mentioned music. It’s funny but I have noticed the talkers talk even more when people are singing or there is music. I guess they don’t think they are as noticeable when the organ is playing. I was sitting in front of someone not too long ago that would start talking as soon as hymn would start…even during the Agnus Dei and the Sanctus.

I stay and pray after Mass and it is extremely noisy with people visiting on the way out.
 
Fredrica Matthewes Greene put together a pamphlet to be handed out to visitors and made available to “regulars.” It was a light-hearted look at what to expect on visiting an Orthodox Church. frederica.com/12-things/

If somthing along those lines could be done in the Western tradition, it could be very helpful . . .

Sample topics could be:
Don’t be afraid of silence.
Spot the Tabernacle: “Who is there and how do we reverence Him?”
Sit, Stand, Kneel: when, where and why?
When and how should (or shouldn’t I) receive Communion?
Just for the fun of it, I started my own:

*“There’s a Kind of Hush All Over . . .”
*Upon entering you’ll notice that “There’s a kind of hush all over” as folks make their private preparations for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. A rosary group may be reviewing quietly central points of Jesus’ ministry through viewing events through the eyes of His Mother and praying in muted voices with their Rosary Beads. Others may be reviewing the Passion of our Lord Jesus by praying quietly before each of the 14 Stations of the Cross in turn. Others may be lighting candles as an outward sign of their fervency in a particular prayer request. There may even be a line of penitents outside the Confessional, each awaiting his/her turn to make confession of sin before the Mass begins.

At the doorway, you’ll notice a bowl of Holy Water. If you wish, you may dip your hand into the water and make the sign of the cross, in renewal of your Baptism. There will probably be some sort of worship aid that lists the hymns, Psalms, Lessons and congregation responses for the day; take one, you’ll need it later!

If you decide not to join those making the Stations, Rosary or Confession, find a place to sit. Before you get into your pew, glance around to locate the Tabernacle, where Jesus Christ, under the outward form of bread and wine dwells. Make a genuflection (kneel on one knee) in His honor. Remember that there will be others arriving later, so, unless physical disability prevents you, take your place toward the middle of the pew and quietly begin your own internal preparation to assist at the Holy Mass. The Crucifix near the Altar and the Tabernacle are great focus points for your internal preparation. There may also be written aids in the pews. If you see friends or acquaintances, smiling or nodding is appropriate, but never conversation. Preparation for the Holy Mass is serious business; failing to make one’s own preparation or worse interfering with others’ preparation by causing a distraction is never appropriate.

The Mass Begins: *“Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus”
*This is where your foresight in taking a worship aid comes in handy! Stand Up for the procession! If you know the tune, or read music, join in the singing. If you don’t know it, don’t worry, by the second stanza, you’ll catch on! At any rate, sing! As the procession . . . .

Just my modest beginning for such a project. . . .
 
Just for the fun of it, I started my own:

*“There’s a Kind of Hush All Over . . .”
*Upon entering you’ll notice that “There’s a kind of hush all over” as folks make their private preparations for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. A rosary group may be reviewing quietly central points of Jesus’ ministry through viewing events through the eyes of His Mother and praying in muted voices with their Rosary Beads. Others may be reviewing the Passion of our Lord Jesus by praying quietly before each of the 14 Stations of the Cross in turn. Others may be lighting candles as an outward sign of their fervency in a particular prayer request. There may even be a line of penitents outside the Confessional, each awaiting his/her turn to make confession of sin before the Mass begins.

At the doorway, you’ll notice a bowl of Holy Water. If you wish, you may dip your hand into the water and make the sign of the cross, in renewal of your Baptism. There will probably be some sort of worship aid that lists the hymns, Psalms, Lessons and congregation responses for the day; take one, you’ll need it later!

If you decide not to join those making the Stations, Rosary or Confession, find a place to sit. Before you get into your pew, glance around to locate the Tabernacle, where Jesus Christ, under the outward form of bread and wine dwells. Make a genuflection (kneel on one knee) in His honor. Remember that there will be others arriving later, so, unless physical disability prevents you, take your place toward the middle of the pew and quietly begin your own internal preparation to assist at the Holy Mass. The Crucifix near the Altar and the Tabernacle are great focus points for your internal preparation. There may also be written aids in the pews. If you see friends or acquaintances, smiling or nodding is appropriate, but never conversation. Preparation for the Holy Mass is serious business; failing to make one’s own preparation or worse interfering with others’ preparation by causing a distraction is never appropriate.

The Mass Begins: *“Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus”
*This is where your foresight in taking a worship aid comes in handy! Stand Up for the procession! If you know the tune, or read music, join in the singing. If you don’t know it, don’t worry, by the second stanza, you’ll catch on! At any rate, sing! As the procession . . . .

Just my modest beginning for such a project. . . .
Ohhh…I like this. Gets to the point and is charitable!
 
Just going to answer the fourth question for now -

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

I wish there could be something like RCIA, but for cradle Catholics (and not just adults). I know there’s Sunday School, but we spent the first 7 years of that playing hangman and reading stories. (I guess that could be changed too, while you’re at it…)
 
Ohhh…I like this. Gets to the point and is charitable!
Thanks, Mommy! I’m sure you’ve discovered with your four that firmly, but nicely, setting out your expectations for behavior ahead of a situation gets better end results than calling them on the carpet after they’ve transgressed or have made a habit of transgressing through ignorance . . . We Mommies understand these things. 👍
 
Hello folks.

Need your (name removed by moderator)ut please for a book about Catholic etiquette I’m working on.

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?

Gestures added to the Mass…especially the laity imitating the gestures of the priest.
Talking
Small children that should be in the cry room. Too small to reasonable expect them to be quiet and still for a whole hour.
Crying babies not taken out or in the cry room

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?

Overuse of extraordinary ministers.
No personal changes by the priest of course.

3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?

Knowledge of their own faith.

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

Maybe pamphlets in pews or different subject in the bulletin every week.

God bless.
Fr. Joe
 
Hello Fr. Joe, I didn’t want to go to church this Sunday because I was ill with a slight fever. What I did was to not shake hands or hold hands with the other people in the church. I didn’t want to pass my germs to others. I didn’t receive the blood of Christ so I wouldn’t pass my germs. I also attended the 7:30A.M. Mass because there would be less people.
I survived without passing my germs. My problem was that I wasn’t truly sick but not healthy either. But I felt I should attend church so I can stay in God’s Grace.

I had a strange experience with a priest while confessing one sin.
He said I should say some prayers in the church after my confession. He also said I should pray for wisdom and discernment. I said that was a good idea and that I would do that.
Then I waited for him to say something like “go in peace and sin no more”… but he stayed real quiet while I waited for him to say some final words to me. But he didn’t. So… I just said, “I am leaving now”… and left. I didn’t like that experience because I felt that the priest didn’t care about me… I do have a poor self image at times… so it really bothered me.
I really don’t know the confession etiquette.
He is a good priest and I plan to see him again for confession but I need advise on what should be my final words to him next time.
 
Hello folks.

Need your (name removed by moderator)ut please for a book about Catholic etiquette I’m working on.

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?

music badly performed and led by the persons who have been chosen or appointed for this service. no music is better than bad music

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?

I will settle for a liturgy that follows the published norms, without any additions that are not in the norms.

3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?

appreciation for and catechesis on the nature of the Mass and Eucharist (my mission in life is to help correct this in my own small way)

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

comprehensive ongoing intergenerational catechesis
it comes from the top down, has to begin with the pastor.

God bless.
Fr. Joe
 
Hello folks.

Need your (name removed by moderator)ut please for a book about Catholic etiquette I’m working on.

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?
bad music, poor singing, handholding, bad jokes in the homilies (sorry, Father), gum chewing, kids with food and toys, altar servers with flip flops, Extraordinary ministers with cleavage.

I think I sound like a fuddy-duddy! 😛
Thanks, Father.

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?
reverence to the Eucharist, slow pace, consistent with liturgical rubrics
3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?
Education, of course, but mostly a lack of piety.
4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?
I think the homily is a powerful tool, esp. when supplemented by other resources.
God bless.
Fr. Joe
 
bad music, poor singing, handholding, bad jokes in the homilies (sorry, Father), gum chewing, kids with food and toys, altar servers with flip flops, Extraordinary ministers with cleavage.
I think I sound like a fuddy-duddy! 😛
:eek: I forgot when I made my list to mention clothing also. I have seen some very inappropriate clothing. Two weeks ago it was on a young woman reading the first reading. No cleavage but strapless. Trust me, totally inappropriate. While I was happy to see her in church reading I wonder what in the world possessed her to think she was dressed appropriately. Poor Father just put his head down and looked down. I’m sure he was mortified!

Oh, as far as the bad singing. Sometimes you are at the mercy of the poor souls who volunteer for the choir and can’t really sing. Bless them for trying. To me that is totally different than a poor choice of material.

Also someone else mentioned a class for adult Catholics. I think a “refresher” course is a great idea.
 
I am germ phobic and I really don’t like to shake peoples’ hands because they could be carrying cold germs on their hands or other germs. When I get sick with a cold I get sick for two weeks.

I wish people with colds and are coughing should stay home or at least cover their mouths when coughing. I have sat near people who cough but don’t cover their mouths.
 
I’m no GIRM expert, I’m not any sort of Lay Minister involved with any aspect of sort of liturgical committee. I am just me, or Just B as it were 😛

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?

I am really annoyed with myself when I allow myself to be distracted from what is going on.

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?

My own posture and attitude when presenting for Holy Communion. I want to receive Christ fully and at the same time not detract or distract anyone else receiving Him fully.

3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?

I am reticent to say because it is a generality. But since you asked I will say it. What I see lacking is a total lack of community among Catholics.

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

Catechesis and homiletics. I’d love to see every homily have 3 parts. Historic, Application, and Education. Father can give the historical contextual support of the readings and then give the congregation a real way to apply the scriptures to our lives in the coming week. Stop giving fluff no stuff homilies! Then shift into the education portion. Teach the faithful! Why do we do this, why do we believe that. Teach us, please!!!
 
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