Your imput please....Catholic etiquette?

[jmcrae]

My son and I have to sit at the end of the pew. He is autistic (high functioning, you might not even notice) because if he gets overwhelmed we have to leave. I hate to have to make people move so we can get out.

In your case, you would probably not have to be told “Excuse me!” when people are trying to get in, though, right? You would see them coming, get out of the pew, let them in, and then sit back down again, I would think, right?

My beef is with those who are on the end, but forget that other people also might like to sit down.

 

[Pax2u]

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?
Choir practice before Mass; socializing before Mass–both make it impossible to pray.

People entering/leaving church and absently half-genuflecting in the direction of the altar…when the tabernacle is right up there to the left, being ignored! Or they don’t genuflect at all.

The offertory song goes on into the preparation of the gifts…there are responses we are supposed to make, but as the song is usually still dragging on, these responses must be made by the priest, I’m assuming.

When the music becomes “concert-like”, with the focus being on it, instead of the Mass.

(a lot of my annoyances come from music!!!)

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?
Priests not deviating from liturgical norms. It’s not necessary or proper for anyone to add their own little “twist” to things–it doesn’t make it better or more meaningful.

Reverence and awe by all involved.

Modesty in dress by all in church.

3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?
An understanding of what is really happening at Mass.

Belief of/respect for the True Presence.

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?
Priests need to use a portion of the homily for catechesis…it is the only time many there will get any.

Parishioners need to pray for their priest and their parish. Most parishes have a “prayer chain” of some kind–get them involved in constant prayer for the parish.

 

[JesuXPIPassio]

Sorry this reply came so late, Father Joe. I only saw it now.

1 - People who are loud or do things that are contrary to the norm.

I’ve been having a problem with this. I go to Sunday Mass at one parish and daily Mass at another. At the one where I go to daily Mass, there was a lady seated behind me who would recite things s-l-o-w-l-y and has a cat-like voice. It was annoying. I just changed seats, though, so it wasn’t that big of a problem.

There is another parishioner though who speaks in a very loud, but monotonic, voice. It’s very distracting. I try hard not to be distracted but it’s not easy to do.

Where I go to Sunday Mass, I go early in the morning so I can be there when there are the least people as it’s easier to worship then. But there’s a woman who – I’ll say it – is weird. She wears bizarre clothes and wear a hooded sweater; when it comes time for Consecration, she kneels and gets up at the wrong times and puts her hood on. She kneels during the Creed (we are only supposed to do it for one part during Christmas and the Annunciation, not every Sunday as she does).

The thing at that parish is that it has monastic-style seating. It’s almost circular, and we’re all facing each other. I would just change seats to avoid having that woman within my view, but there isn’t any seat there where she wouldn’t be in my sight. I tried, tried and tried to just ignore here, but because of the layout of the parish, it is hard to do. I know I’m not the only parishioner who has a problem with this, so I wrote a letter to the pastor asking him to do something about it. It was about a month ago; nothing has been done yet.

Church has a tendency to attract a lot of people who are rather weird. They go a lot to daily or early Sunday Mass. I remember Father Bob Levis talked about sorts like that on EWTN once. He called them “eccentric.” That’s just a nice word for “weird.” There’s the possibility that these people are exceptionally-holy, but I read lots about the lives of saints, and saints never were bizarre and distracting.

2 - Liturgical etiquette in terms of the congregants would basically be like I liste above – people who are loud or otherwise distracting.

3 - Once, a Filipino Archbishop visited our parish on a Sunday. He was pleading for money; he had a priest who had a bad car accident. The bill was about $20,000 which is 1 Million Philippine Pesos – a huge amount for a third world country where a can of coke costs the equivalent of twenty US cents. People in the back of me, grown adults, were cynically remarking quietly that he should just have tried Medicare. I thought that was very irreverent. The Philippine government cannot afford to do that; if it did, then the Archbishop wouldn’t have tried coming all that way to ask for help.

What is lacking is reverence. Shame on those people who laughing at a pastor in need.

4 - Sunday shouldn’t just be a thing for Sunday for an hour. Even when it is just an hour a week, people can’t wait for that hour to be over. Our parishes should be centres, places around which our lives truly revolve. Parishes should be parts of our lives, we should consider them our homes and we should feel like we can get to know the other people there. I went to a Coptic Orthodox parish once and I loved how closely-knit they were. Why? Because church was a part of life and it was like a family.

I think priests are often part of the problem rather than the solution. Parishes should have programmes that reach out to the community more. Perhaps there could be a day care for kids. There could also be, say, Bible studies and stuff like that.

Hello folks.

Need your (name removed by moderator)ut please for a book about Catholic etiquette I’m working on.

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?

3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

God bless.
Fr. Joe

 

[allhers]

Hope I’m not repeating too much here Father, I didn’t read the entire thread, but, here is mine. I only answered two since I tend to go on a bit at times.

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass? and
4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

People talking out loud as they enter, chewing gum, no respect for Jesus’ Real Presence, genuflecting to the altar instead of the tabernacle, if they bother to even genuflect at all. Most people still don’t seem to know the proper way to receive, I don’t see the people in front of me in line bowing their head before receiving, (we all stand), some of them look like they are snatching the Body of Christ from the Priest or the Deacon or Extraordinary Ministers (which I think could be used a lot less often too.). I think it would be great to have the Communion rails back. (just a personal preference).
If we had a Latin Mass I’d go to it. Closest one to us is about an hour away.

Pre-teens and teenagers constantly getting up to go to the restroom, especially when it is during the Consecration. Its like a constant parade back and forth. My parents would have never let me do that and I would have never let my children do that and my children don’t let their children do that. (If I tried I am sure I would have been taken to the Doctor to see why I couldn’t wait at least one hour.) Makes me wonder if they even know about the one hour fast before Holy Communion. (Maybe the fast ought to be a longer period of time before Mass like it use to be ages ago so that they won’t have that problem.) Another thing, I don’t like to see children eating during Mass, I mean really, its only an hour at the most, feed them before or after. (unless of course if its an infant, they tend to not be able to wait.) Also leave the toys and books at home, let them follow by your example, (that is if you have a good example to follow, otherwise, sit by some people that do.) Usually if a child is taken to Mass from the time the baby is an infant, they grow up “with the Mass”, and know how to act. For those who weren’t able to do this for whatever reason, they can learn at a very young age to be quiet during Mass and to follow along.

I am not a fan of the sign of peace either, especially where it is in the Mass. That has always bothered me, everyone seems to not even notice that Jesus is present right there with us, it just has never made sense to me to be doing that right at that point in the Mass. Some people go all the way up and down the pews
and across the aisle to greet one another instead of the people just right around them. Some turn around and seem to pivot, they make a sign of peace and wave to the entire Church. I also detest clapping during Mass(unless the Priest leads it for some very good reason, like when a child has just been Baptized or something along those lines.) I think people ought to hold thier hands in prayer or at least use the orans position during the Our Father also, I don’t like the hand holding at all and avoid it.

Before they are out the door after Mass, they are back at it, talking out loud again on the way out Shhhhhh!! Not only because some people stay after Mass to pray a prayer of thankfulness, or perhaps the St. Michael the Arch-Angel prayer, but mostly because you are still in Jesus’ presence.
We are suppose to have a respectful silence when entering and leaving.

I really liked this idea of b_justb on post # 20
Catechesis and homiletics. I’d love to see every homily have 3 parts. Historic, Application, and Education.
Father can give the historical contextual support of the readings and then give the congregation a real way to
apply the scriptures to our lives in the coming week. Stop giving fluff no stuff homilies! Then shift into the
education portion. Teach the faithful! Why do we do this, why do we believe that. Teach us, please!!!

 

[Aramis]

Reverend Father, Bless!

For me, it’s important that Latins be educated that there are other rites and churches in the Catholic Church besides the Latin Rite Roman Church.

It’s also important that they understand that different praxis does not mean “No longer Catholic”.

Also, it is important that they realize the sign of the cross is made differently between East and West, and it’s not satanic to go right to left instead of left to right.

As for etiquette: When in an Eastern Catholic Parish, follow the local rubrics on when to stand, sit, or make the sign of the cross. Finding a priest of each Church Sui Iuris to give you (name removed by moderator)ut for a short essay (1-5pp) on each would be a blessing.

 

[KathleenElsie]

Hello folks.

Need your (name removed by moderator)ut please for a book about Catholic etiquette I’m working on.

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?

call phones, snacks for children, talking to others, late comers asking people to move to another pew so they can sit with friends or family

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?

making things gender neutral, habitual use EMoHCs, EMoHCs that don’t follow form, talking and hugging for the sign of peace

3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?

knowledge of what the Mass truly is, poor religious education, knowledge that the Latin Rite is not the only Catholic Rite, respect for other Catholic Rites.

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

homilies that teach the Faith, better education in CCD, RCIA teachers that teach the Magesterium

God bless.
Fr. Joe

If the priests and bishops would go back to the actual and not the “spirit” teachings of Holy Mother Church we would not be in the situation are in now. So we all need to pray for them.

 

[notsmart]

I don’t know if its wrong or not, but so far at one church I go to there are 4 Mass times on Sunday, and 10 minutes or so before the Mass is over a priest walks into the lobby area waiting to greet people leaving (I noticed this when I tried to leave early myself) and I was wondering why he didn’t just come even a bit earlier to help with the Eucharist? There are typically 5 EMHC’s (just learned that term recently!) and it seems to me a priest would be better to be doing it if he can be there. I don’t know their schedules, so I really should not say anything about it, but it just made me wonder.

 

[Oakleaf]

I will confess first that I am an irregular church-goer and I like to “sample” different masses (no, I promise I am not writing for a Zagat guide!). I prefer a more reverent and spiritual experience, so I favor Tridentine Rite masses but also NO done in a reverent or beautiful way.

The worst pet peeve is adults behaving irreverently: talking, milling around, catching up with friends. There is no excuse for it, and people know better. My take is that people who do this are “acting out” on purpose. There are many people who have problems with the Church’s stance on contraception, abortion, divorce, female clergy, and the concept of spiritual authority in general. Instead of just joining a sect that matches their beliefs, they go to Catholic Mass and make a nuisance of themselves.

Handholding. Hate it, can’t stand it. Just a personal preference. Shaking hands and a brief greeting of peace is just fine, though.

Asking for money in the homily. Eye-roll inducing. Do it some other time, like during announcements at the end of Mass. Or better yet, conduct a holy service that people want to keep alive and support. Use the homily to talk about doctrine, talk about the spiritual life of the community or the world, even tell a little anecdote with a moral. But don’t spam me.

Other than that, all services have their charm. For people who think Catholicism is too uniform, there is lots of variety out there. I can find holiness in a great homily, a spiritually evocative atmosphere, attitude of genuine humility and charity in the congregation, or good music.

Most of the annoyances can be avoided by going to the right churches and the right masses. The best thing about the Tridentine masses is that they tend to be filled with people who actually want to be there. Sometimes smaller is (much, much) better.

 

[Oakleaf]

I will confess first that I am an irregular church-goer and I like to “sample” different masses (no, I promise I am not writing for a Zagat guide!). I prefer a more reverent and spiritual experience, so I favor Tridentine Rite masses but also NO done in a reverent or beautiful way.

The worst pet peeve is adults behaving irreverently: talking, milling around, catching up with friends. There is no excuse for it, and people know better. My take is that people who do this are “acting out” on purpose. There are many people who have problems with the Church’s stance on contraception, abortion, divorce, female clergy, and the concept of spiritual authority in general. Instead of just joining a sect that matches their beliefs, they go to Catholic Mass and make a nuisance of themselves.

Handholding. Hate it, can’t stand it. Just a personal preference. Shaking hands and a brief greeting of peace is just fine, though.

Asking for money in the homily. Eye-roll inducing. Do it some other time, like during announcements at the end of Mass. Or better yet, conduct a holy service that people want to keep alive and support. Use the homily to talk about doctrine, talk about the spiritual life of the community or the world, even tell a little anecdote with a moral. But don’t please spam me.

Other than that, all services have their charm. For people who think Catholicism is too uniform, there is lots of variety out there. I can find holiness in a great homily, a spiritually evocative atmosphere, attitude of genuine humility and charity in the congregation, or good music.

Most of the annoyances can be avoided by going to the right churches and the right masses. The best thing about the Tridentine masses is that they tend to be filled with people who actually want to be there. Sometimes smaller is (much, much) better.

 

[jmcrae]

… saints never were bizarre and distracting.

Which Saint books are you reading? I find that a lot of them were actually very, very strange at times. For example, did you know that St. Francis attended Mass naked at least once?

I would have found that rather distracting - to say the least.

He was, of course, chastized for it, and made to put some clothes on before the Bishop would continue saying the Mass.

 

[notsmart]

Yes! St Rita of Lima (hope I got the right one) was a bit odd too.
I mean, she loved to hurt herself…

 

[LaLucia]

Hi Everybody, After reading most of the posts on this thread…
I got the idea of when we have to greet eachother during mass… I have chosen to close my hands together in prayer form and say to the people around me,“Peace be with you” and bow my head a little bit. I don’t like shaking hands because I am germ phobic which means I don’t want to pass on my germs to other people also because sometimes I am ill with a cold or something else.

It works for me.

 

[CatholiCommit]

Hello folks.

Need your (name removed by moderator)ut please for a book about Catholic etiquette I’m working on.

1-What are the things that really annoy you while at Church, especially during Mass?

2-What areas of proper liturgical etiquette are the most important to you?

3-Which do you see lacking the most among today’s Catholics?

4-What are some ideas for things that can be done to help educate others about these things?

God bless.
Fr. Joe

Things that annoy me in Mass are popping fingers, chewing gum, chatter during Mass, Improper Dress.

Most Important Liturgical Etiquette would be: None

I see the most lacking among today’s Catholics such as: Low Attendance, Lack of Patience

Tell people the importance of attending Mass, and how being patient especially with new Catholics would make it easier to not feel intimidated or uncomfortable.