exactly! this is way these types of posts should never happen, all they do is pit people against each other in arguments and judgements. If there are problems at Mass, it should be delt with at the parish level, NOT on the internet.
CAF exists so people can ask questions on a variety of issues, including how to deal with such situations. We each bring or own perspective, but no one I read was judging anyone. I did see people jumping to conclusions because they felt personally challenged, but there’s no need for that, either. Any parent who is making an honest effort to keep their kids under reasonable control are not being discussed here–only those who will not do so no matter how much their child is being disruptive or they are being disruptive by indulging their child in that child’s bad behavior or actually contributing to it. I think any reasonable person can tell the difference.
It is not about whether or not it was “tougher to be parents” in 1912. In the culture of death that we live in, seeing Catholic families together is a wonderful witness. If children don’t go to Mass, then they will have to learn to behave there later.
I don’t know how you’re reading, because I clearly stated that this was not so. I clearly stated that personally I do not mind, meaning: I personally welcome children of all ages regardless of how much noise they make.
@ExGratia: I understand, thank you. But I felt compelled to say those things anyways, just like you felt compelled to point those things to me, and I do appreciate it. We’re neither criticizing nor judging one another, we’re just going over a topic, and one that should be joyful, since it regards our little ones
This is what I read. This is too much of a burden to expect of any family. If the child is sick, fine. But if the child is being his/her normal self then that is way too much of a burden to instill on a family.
But the Mass is not just for adults. It is for everyone - including children.
Babies (and toddlers!) can get very heavy and they do express preferences over who holds them! DS likes me for nursing (obviously) and cuddling, but Dad is taller so DS can see better in his arms.No, I don’t have small children. It’s not a “very small child” it’s a child of about 5- to me…that’s not “very small” That’s not worth coming in sitting down and just reading to him. Ignoring the whole Mass. Him going around to each family member and playing with his toys and reading books. I can understand that small children cry, I could even understand if he cried, because I myself remember at 4 crying during Mass a few times, but to just walk in and sit down and begin to read and ask a FIVE year old which one the pig is. Is completely disrespectful and if you were just going to read to him about farm animals, why come at all?
I agree with you that 5 is really old to still have such poor impulse control. Have you considered that the boy might be mentally handicapped? The lady that sits in front of us at mass has an autistic son and she reads to him or lines up cheerios. I think she goes to mass because she needs it for her sanity.
That is not “suggesting that families can’t go to mass together and children aren’t welcome.”
Sorry if it gave that impression, it was not my intention.Again, since you don’t know these people or what the situation is, why are you judging them? Since you have not had the pleasure of having small children at Mass, you are in for a suprise when you do. My small children are now teenagers and 10 but in the beginning and during the toddler years, it was not easy but if one sticks to it, it will be worth it. Normally, Reading out loud in very unusual but, without knowing what the circumstances for the child is, (handicapped of some sort), I would rather err on the side of understanding and thanking God that they ARE at Mass and not at home. Are they always there? Is it the first time? Are they just coming back to attending Church? Since you don’t know them why are you judging them? Have you spoken to your priest? Have you even made any effort to get to know them? Why don’t you pray for them? You are always sitting by them? Is this just a one time thing?
The Op was venting her frustration about parents and their kids at Mass. She did not ask for what to do or any actual solutions on how to approach the Priest or the worship director. That is the problem with these kinds of posts is that none of us are there to observe what actually went on. Is this a one time thing or is the OP the most unluckiest person in that she always ends up sitting by these people. Most of the time I see families with very young children sit in the back. That is what we did when our children were young.CAF exists so people can ask questions on a variety of issues, including how to deal with such situations. We each bring or own perspective, but no one I read was judging anyone. I did see people jumping to conclusions because they felt personally challenged, but there’s no need for that, either. Any parent who is making an honest effort to keep their kids under reasonable control are not being discussed here–only those who will not do so no matter how much their child is being disruptive or they are being disruptive by indulging their child in that child’s bad behavior or actually contributing to it. I think any reasonable person can tell the difference.
And there are those who come Sunday after Sunday, being disruptive at every Mass who seem to be clueless about it. That’s not fair to those who came to worship not watch the “momma tickles, laughs with, waves baby in the air show” (I actually saw these things with my own eyes) at every Mass they attend. What’s so wrong about expecting them to be respectful of those who just don’t care to watch the “baby show” every week? How far away should we have to sit in order to let this nonsense go on?
I’d wager to say that it’s mostly because you’re not a mom. Kids’ temperaments are vastly variable, and it’s just not fair to say that, as you seem to be implying, a child who does not sit quietly still at Mass is the product of bad parenting.
Yes. If the children are habitually being very disruptive–not staying in their pews, talking very loudly, and so on, then you can ask Father how to cope with the issue…I mean the “Father” who would have also seen the children acting this way, since of course you first took the trouble to be seated elsewhere. If they exhibit more of the wiggle that the Good Lord put into children than seems appropriate for their age, though, realize that we all have our days. Offer it up, and pray that when the time comes your own children will have their meltdowns at home.
It’s not always mental illness or a handicap, although I do think we always need to consider that possibility.
He’s not.
St. Thérèse of Lisieux was novice mistress for a time at her Carmelite convent. She said that before she had that position, she had sometimes wished she could correct some of the other sisters. After getting the position, she was actually relieved when misconduct she witnessed was committed by no one that she had the office to correct!