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followingtheway
Guest
Just wondering…because the Bible isn’t exactly for divorce, but people are sometimes liberal in this area.
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Rence
Guest
My position is that it is acceptable in all cases — as long as the spouses (if Catholic) don’t date afterwards and continue to live within the rules of the Church unless the marriage is annulled.
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TimothyH
Guest
My position on divorce mirrors the Church’s position on divorce. I am divorced in a secular court.
Dissolusion of the secular marriage contract is sometimes required for the protection of one party against the actions of the other, or when one party persists in unrepentant sin and that places the salvation of the other party and children in jeapordy. Without getting too personal, both of the above circumstances were my reason for seeking a to have the secular marriage contract disolved in a court of law.
But in terms of the sacramental bond of matrimony, that can never be dissolved. My wife and I are married in the eyes of God and his Church and the fact that one of us is not faithful to the coventant relationship we have entered into does not disolve the other from the covenant. I have promised to “Forsake all others” until either my wife or I should die, that is what I must do - forsake all others.
-Tim-
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BusterMartin
Guest
I agree 100% with Tim on this one. I wish there was an option that accurately reflected this viewpoint. Since there wasn’t, I picked that it’s wrong. My logic behind that relates divorce to the generalized reasons for divorce in today’s society (ie, I’m bored, I don’t love you anymore, I fell in love with someone else, etc.)…especially when people get remarried or start dating again. But, divorce isn’t wrong if it’s needed and the marital vows are still kept.
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TimothyH
Guest
I can tell you that sometimes it is not easy.
Not to get into a pity party, but there are times where I meet interesting and beatiful women and know that at a certain point, I will have to break off the conversation because I am getting attracted, that I can never let myself get too familiar or friendly with a woman because I might let my guard down.
My Evangelical friend was being congratulated on marrying a beatiful (former Catholic!) woman. It was his third wife. I watched her clean up the dinner table and start the dishes and on one hand I wanted to run and cry because he has a companion, a help mate. I miss that. On the other hand, I wanted to grab him by the scruff of the neck and say “Don’t you understand what Christ has to say about marriage you fool!” In the end I don’t know what to say.
I look at all the priests, nuns and monks who have given up so much for Christ, and they are my hero’s, all of them saints in my eyes. I’m wondering how many Catholics quietly live out their marriage vows in the absence of their spouse. It would be good to hear from some more if they are out there.
And truth be told, sometimes God makes it easy. I have an awsome back yard and am involved in a few ministries at Church. And no one tells me to slow down when I drive
-Tim-
Not to get into a pity party, but there are times where I meet interesting and beatiful women and know that at a certain point, I will have to break off the conversation because I am getting attracted, that I can never let myself get too familiar or friendly with a woman because I might let my guard down.
My Evangelical friend was being congratulated on marrying a beatiful (former Catholic!) woman. It was his third wife. I watched her clean up the dinner table and start the dishes and on one hand I wanted to run and cry because he has a companion, a help mate. I miss that. On the other hand, I wanted to grab him by the scruff of the neck and say “Don’t you understand what Christ has to say about marriage you fool!” In the end I don’t know what to say.
I look at all the priests, nuns and monks who have given up so much for Christ, and they are my hero’s, all of them saints in my eyes. I’m wondering how many Catholics quietly live out their marriage vows in the absence of their spouse. It would be good to hear from some more if they are out there.
And truth be told, sometimes God makes it easy. I have an awsome back yard and am involved in a few ministries at Church. And no one tells me to slow down when I drive
-Tim-
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srferdave
Guest
I find that very admirable Tim.I can tell you that sometimes it is not easy.
Not to get into a pity party, but there are times where I meet interesting and beatiful women and know that at a certain point, I will have to break off the conversation because I am getting attracted, that I can never let myself get too familiar or friendly with a woman because I might let my guard down.
My Evangelical friend was being congratulated on marrying a beatiful (former Catholic!) woman. It was his third wife. I watched her clean up the dinner table and start the dishes and on one hand I wanted to run and cry because he has a companion, a help mate. I miss that. On the other hand, I wanted to grab him by the scruff of the neck and say “Don’t you understand what Christ has to say about marriage you fool!” In the end I don’t know what to say.
I look at all the priests, nuns and monks who have given up so much for Christ, and they are my hero’s, all of them saints in my eyes. I’m wondering how many Catholics quietly live out their marriage vows in the absence of their spouse. It would be good to hear from some more if they are out there.
And truth be told, sometimes God makes it easy. I have an awsome back yard and am involved in a few ministries at Church. And no one tells me to slow down when I drive
-Tim-
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CountrySteve
Guest
i voted Sinful/Wrong
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supertubos
Guest
And Jesus was a liberal too. He said that in the beginning there was no divorce but because man’s heart was hard then moses gave the jews a new version…
But He, Jesus and God, is agains it.
Now, you know, the situations are so different from case to case…
If a man marries a woman only because she is very rich, this not christian marriage at all…
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Melissa
Guest
Agreed–it is very difficult at times. I have just gotten divorced from my husband who is presently incarcerated, sentencing to follow in the middle of this month, for crimes he committed against another woman (in the divorce, this was termed as adultery, although I think that rape is something completely different from adultery) and against me (stalking me during the period of time that he was not in jail after being released after the initial arrest). I’m dealing with the fall out of my children’s suffering from abuse that had been going on (against me and against them) while receiving no financial support from him. And I’m still living in fidelity to the vows I said 20 years ago, it’s just that I must be legally protected by the terms of the divorce which gave me sole custody of the children (and therefore exclusive right to chart medical care for them–two of the four need not only counseling but medication; their father would have/did in the past refuse permission for treatment), financial protections, etc.
In some cases, it is acceptable (even the catechism says so) because there is no other way to protect the innocent parties.
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joanofarc2008
Guest
I did not like the options given in this poll at all. I either had to choose between Acceptable, I’m Divorced or Acceptable in some cases. I did not take the decision to divorce lightly. I took my husband back after a restraining order was issued against him after only nine months into the marriage after he hit me. BTW - I should mention here that we owned a martial arts dojo so yes physical violence tends to take on a whole new meaning when one knows enough to be deadly.
After I took him back there were two attempts on my life that I know of. There were two other gfs that I know of. There was general abuse and neglect. He told one other gf that he was going to kill me, make it look like an accident, and collect on my life insurance which from the military was almost half a million dollars. He scared at least one priest to the point where that priest warned me very strongly to get out. The strongest penance I ever received in confession during that time was for not safeguarding my own life which was a gift from God.
Now why didn’t I leave sooner. Because of one priest who happened to be my parish priest who believed my husbands malarky and kept telling me to go back. It was not until I started formation in my SFO Fraternity and started forming relationships with people from another parish and priests from another parish who knew me independently of his games that I could get good spiritual advice.
Some of you that come on and talk about divorce is always a sin have no idea. It was my only way out. I left with nothing. I left some household items in storage which is only thanks to the charity of a moving company that allowed me to move my stuff into storage there and pay later as I was physically unable to do it at the time due to a bad accident I had suffered.
The only reason I am as healthy as i am now is that I got out. I would have died in that situation. If not directly by his hand certainly indirectly. Now I am off to work on my masters in pastoral studies and I have applied for counseling at the same University. After my first semester which was online I have a 3.85 GPA. This is not bad for a woman that was told she could never do anything right and would never be good enough. And I finally recovered my health to the point where I am able to practice the martial arts again for myself. I have finished my testimony with the tribunal so obviously the divorce is finalized. All that is left to do is wait. May God pray for and bless the tribunal. May those that do not know the pain keep their mouths shut lest they keep others from availing themselves of their help later in situations like these.
After I took him back there were two attempts on my life that I know of. There were two other gfs that I know of. There was general abuse and neglect. He told one other gf that he was going to kill me, make it look like an accident, and collect on my life insurance which from the military was almost half a million dollars. He scared at least one priest to the point where that priest warned me very strongly to get out. The strongest penance I ever received in confession during that time was for not safeguarding my own life which was a gift from God.
Now why didn’t I leave sooner. Because of one priest who happened to be my parish priest who believed my husbands malarky and kept telling me to go back. It was not until I started formation in my SFO Fraternity and started forming relationships with people from another parish and priests from another parish who knew me independently of his games that I could get good spiritual advice.
Some of you that come on and talk about divorce is always a sin have no idea. It was my only way out. I left with nothing. I left some household items in storage which is only thanks to the charity of a moving company that allowed me to move my stuff into storage there and pay later as I was physically unable to do it at the time due to a bad accident I had suffered.
The only reason I am as healthy as i am now is that I got out. I would have died in that situation. If not directly by his hand certainly indirectly. Now I am off to work on my masters in pastoral studies and I have applied for counseling at the same University. After my first semester which was online I have a 3.85 GPA. This is not bad for a woman that was told she could never do anything right and would never be good enough. And I finally recovered my health to the point where I am able to practice the martial arts again for myself. I have finished my testimony with the tribunal so obviously the divorce is finalized. All that is left to do is wait. May God pray for and bless the tribunal. May those that do not know the pain keep their mouths shut lest they keep others from availing themselves of their help later in situations like these.
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srferdave
Guest
I agree with joanofarc that the options in the post are not very good.
First of all, divorce is not even a religious thing. Divorce is secular. So divorce in itself cannot be sinful. If someone gets divorced and finds another companion without getting an anullement than it is sinful. But divorce by itself is never sinful. The state has divorce. The Church does not have divorce. The Church either views the couple as married or never have been married. There is no ‘was married’ in the Church (except for the very very very rare circumstance).
First of all, divorce is not even a religious thing. Divorce is secular. So divorce in itself cannot be sinful. If someone gets divorced and finds another companion without getting an anullement than it is sinful. But divorce by itself is never sinful. The state has divorce. The Church does not have divorce. The Church either views the couple as married or never have been married. There is no ‘was married’ in the Church (except for the very very very rare circumstance).
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Melissa
Guest
Well, there is a not-so-uncommon situation for ‘was married’ … widow or widower. Some, like my grandfather marry twice. His first wife died in childbirth, years later he married my grandmother. First child also did not survive.
But the poll choices aren’t great. Acceptable in some cases, but those are rare but as bad as the animal’s situation in a trap choosing to chew off its own foot. Just because I am divorced doesn’t mean that I see my case as special *–rather ANYONE who lived with what I did would be justified.
This doesn’t mean that l don’t believe in the sanctity of marriage–l do, even if l do wish l had chosen better to begin with.*
But the poll choices aren’t great. Acceptable in some cases, but those are rare but as bad as the animal’s situation in a trap choosing to chew off its own foot. Just because I am divorced doesn’t mean that I see my case as special *–rather ANYONE who lived with what I did would be justified.
This doesn’t mean that l don’t believe in the sanctity of marriage–l do, even if l do wish l had chosen better to begin with.*
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srferdave
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theinquisitive
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srferdave
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theinquistive, So you don’t agree with what the Church teaches?
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theinquisitive
Guest
Good luck to you and all in your situation (or similar)
I was also in such a situation and got out,but left the “Church” as a result… I have no regrets.As I know God and no one else.will judge my case,no one else has the right to do so. No one else knows my heart,my reasons,my pain.I believe and trust in the mercy of God.
No man can judge another,they do not have the right,nor the wisdom to do so.
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theinquisitive
Guest
WE SHOULD FOLLOW THE TEACHINGS OF CHRIST .
So, no,on this I do not agree with the teachings of the Church,I believe in using my logic,reason.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Your husband sounds like a classic psychopath/sociopath. Beyond mere narcissism, because he was willing to hurt and/or kill you. Very glad you got away.
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srferdave
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TimothyH
Guest
Another aspect of keeping our promise to forsake all others till death is the message it sends to our children, especially our daughters. Staying true to the marriage covenant is something I do as much for my two daughters as I do for my own salvation. It sends a message about the holiness of marriage - how important it is. I have had conversations with my children about it.
I’d also like to acknowledge those who did not know Christ’s teaching about marriage or disagreed/disobeyed the Church, but who have repented only after getting divorce and remarried. This must be a very difficult postion to be in. My heart and prayers go out.
-Tim-
I’d also like to acknowledge those who did not know Christ’s teaching about marriage or disagreed/disobeyed the Church, but who have repented only after getting divorce and remarried. This must be a very difficult postion to be in. My heart and prayers go out.
-Tim-
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