Your thoughts needed please

[Kssx]

Hi I am new to chat and in particular this site, so please forgive me if I have posted this wrongly, I am not really sure what i’m doing, feel free to advise.

My partner who i’ve been with for over 12 months now is Catholic, when we first met I was aware of this but he was not a regular attendee to mass. Several months on he started going to mass on a weekly basis, he then attended ALL holy day (saints day) mass also. When I question it he simply replies “It is a mortal sin to miss weekly mass… it is also a mortal sin to miss mass on a holy day too”.

He can go to church twice a week, sometimes when a holy (saints) day may be on Saturday and then mass later the same day or following day. He says the saints day mass doesn’t count which is why he attends a normal mass as well.

Is this correct???

He regards Catholicism as a superior religion and is disrespectful towards Anglicans of which my step mother is regular goer. He says he is not a Christian, he is Catholic! I find this extremely offensive Last weekend at my parents he denied saying something, I grabbed my step mum’s bible and asked him to deny what he’d said, his response was “It doesn’t count as it is not a Catholic bible”!!! I was shocked, outraged and disgusted by this.

He will travel long distances to attend Latin mass and is somewhat disrespectful of his local priest’s. He does not like or agree with the way they conduct their services simply because they are not conducted in latin.

He says he is far right Catholic and yet he lives in constant sin himself, his views are so staunch. I guess I am struggling with his views and with our relationship. I feel he takes advantage of my lack of knowledge with Catholicism

 

[Melchior_1]

One thing that catches my eye here; “your partner”. That has several different connotations, however if there’s sexual activity involved outside of heterosexual marriage than your buddy loses the moral high ground.

A good solution to this? Research Find some good resources (some are found on www.catholic.com ) and learn about things.

Oh, and weekday Masses don’t count as a “Sunday Mass”. Neither do Saturday Masses, unless the Mass is after a certain time of day and meets certain requirements.

 

[1ke]

Is this correct???

Yes, this is correct. Unless one has a serious reason, for example illness, Sundays and Holy Days are Mass obligations. Which days are Holy Days depends upon where you are in the world.

Praise God he has begun to take his Catholicism seriously.

He regards Catholicism as a superior religion and is disrespectful towards Anglicans of which my step mother is regular goer. He says he is not a Christian, he is Catholic!

Charity is a virrtue, as is prudence. It is not prudent or charitable to be disrespectful to others. While we acknowledge that our separated brothers and sisters do not have the fullness of Truth found in the Catholic faith, they are fellow Christians by virtue of their baptism. The Church has much to say on ecumenism and he would do well to study the Church’s teaching on the subject.

As for the Catholic vs Christian thing, while Catholics are certainly Christians. He is probably trying to distinguish the fact that he is a Catholic Christian. He may be doing this in a less-than-prudent manner. I know know, I can only speculate.

I find this extremely offensive Last weekend at my parents he denied saying something, I grabbed my step mum’s bible and asked him to deny what he’d said, his response was “It doesn’t count as it is not a Catholic bible”!!! I was shocked, outraged and disgusted by this.

Sounds like he was making a joke.

He will travel long distances to attend Latin mass and is somewhat disrespectful of his local priest’s. He does not like or agree with the way they conduct their services simply because they are not conducted in latin.

Some people prefer the Latin Mass. That is acceptable. It is not acceptable to disrespect the priest of his local parish. If there are legitimate issues, he should address them with the proper authority, not bad mouth the priest.

He says he is far right Catholic and yet he lives in constant sin himself, his views are so staunch. I guess I am struggling with his views and with our relationship. I feel he takes advantage of my lack of knowledge with Catholicism

Are you a Catholic? If so, I suggest you take a serious look at your own faith life.

These traits of being strident, rude, and uncharitable have nothing to do with being a Catholic. They have everything to do with his true character.

Perhaps it is time to look elsewhere for the kind of person you would want to be married to.

 

[Kssx]

Thank you. Of course you are correct in your observation.

He says his sin and relationship with Christ is between them, no one else. and yet his views are so far right on everything else. “it’s a mortal sin not to attend mass, holy days” etc and yet its ok to live in sin because “he has no control over that”.

I do not want this to become side tracked with the sin with which I live. I am only too aware of how christianity views it already, which is why I do not attend church. I am just trying to get my head around his views and actions which totally bewilder me into utter dismay.

Thank you for your kind response

 

[ProVobis]

He does not like or agree with the way they conduct their services simply because they are not conducted in latin.

This is acceptable as Vatican II stated explicitly that Latin was to remain in the Roman Rite liturgy. But, so you know, the OF (the newer Mass) may be said partially or completely in Latin too.

 

[Wesley7]

My guess if you’re juggling between work,kids,and social events you’re not taking the time to study about your faith.

 

[fred_conty]

I would recommend that you go to RCIA in a Catholic parish in order to find out what the
catholic church really teaches. Maybe you could take him with you because he quite likely could use a better knowledge of his faith since he has been away for a while.
Use the phone and make an inquiry about RCIA.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

There seem to be bigger issues here than how often or where he goes to Mass.

Yes, he should go to Mass every Sunday and Holy Day of Obligation (of which there are 5 or so depending on what the bishop of your area says). He can also attend however often he wants on weekdays and Saturdays.

However, if he acts rude to you you or your stepmother, disrespectful of his parish priest, and similar behavior, consider carefully if he is someone that you want to continue dating.

If you are not yet married (not sure what partner means) and yet living or sleeping together, I urge you to stop. It is both sinful (for any Christian) and not really wise.

If you are married, ask him to go to marital counseling with you. The parish priest or the priest at the Extraordinary Form (Latin) Mass church may be able to recommend a Catholic counselor. You should also both find an RCIA class to attend to learn more about Catholicism.