Your thoughts please

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Puppyfrog81

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Hi Everyone,

I originally posted this on the meet and greet section, but it was suggested I could post here as well.

I was raised Catholic, but fell away from the Church. Although I always strive to be a good, decent person, I have not followed any particular faith since that time. I am now married (to a non-religious person) and the mother of a young daughter. As my baby grows, I am thinking more of my own childhood and realize how much the Church shaped and enriched my life and I want my daughter to have that foundation and those values in her life as well. I am going to approach a Church in our neighborhood and talk with them about baptizing my daughter, but I myself am not ready to become a practicing Catholic again. She is not yet 2 so I would attend Mass with her and take her to Sunday School, etc. until she is old enough to go on her own. Of course, I would also be willing to help out in any way (church fairs, cleaning rotations, etc).

I am hoping some of you will be willing to share your thoughts and experiences with me. Do you think the Priest would be open to our family and willing to baptize my daughter? If we were to join your Parish, would you care that I’m not a practicing Catholic? Would that negatively affect my child? My gut reaction is that it would be OK. The members of my childhood Church were wonderful, but this is new Parish and I haven’t been to Mass in more than 15 years so I’m not sure what would be acceptable.

Any (name removed by moderator)ut would be greatly appreciated! Thanks very much!
 
Hi and welcome to Catholic Answers Forums!

You may get a more definitive answer to your question on the Liturgy and Sacraments forum. 🙂 Sorry to redirect you once again!

As far as baptizing your daughter, I believe that for a priest to agree to baptize your child he must have a well-founded expectation that the child will be raised Catholic. Being that you are not practicing your faith at this time, I don’t know that a priest would feel very confident that you would raise your child in the Church. The best thing to do would be to make an appointment with your parish priest and discuss it with him. He would have the final word in this.

It is admirable that you would commit to bringing your daughter to Mass and Sunday School. But honestly I have a difficult time understanding how you would pass down to your daughter a faith that you do not yourself have at this time. Our homes are “domestic churches”…parents are the first teachers of the faith. You can’t just rely on her Sunday School teacher to teach her everything. How can children’s faith be nurtured if the parents don’t believe? When your daughter makes her first communion and asks you why you don’t take communion, how will you answer? And when she is a teenager and you stop going to Mass with her, I imagine it’ll be very easy for her to stop going too. Teenage years can be very hard on the faith. Just something to think about.

It’s good that you have a desire to give your daughter a strong moral background…but think about yourself also. I was raised in a similar situation as your daughter. Dad was a fallen-away Catholic. It wasn’t until my mother (a Buddhist who had gone to Catholic schools and had great respect for the Church) urged him to give us a religious and moral foundation that he rediscovered the Catholic Church. I was baptized at the age of five, along with my three-year-old sister, and that was the impetus for my father’s return to the faith. You may not realize it now but be open to the working of the Holy Spirit in your life. It could be that God is calling you back through your daughter. God bless you.
 
Puppyfrog81 said:
Hi Everyone,

I originally posted this on the meet and greet section, but it was suggested I could post here as well.

I was raised Catholic, but fell away from the Church. Although I always strive to be a good, decent person, I have not followed any particular faith since that time. I am now married (to a non-religious person) and the mother of a young daughter. As my baby grows, I am thinking more of my own childhood and realize how much the Church shaped and enriched my life and I want my daughter to have that foundation and those values in her life as well. I am going to approach a Church in our neighborhood and talk with them about baptizing my daughter, but I myself am not ready to become a practicing Catholic again. She is not yet 2 so I would attend Mass with her and take her to Sunday School, etc. until she is old enough to go on her own. Of course, I would also be willing to help out in any way (church fairs, cleaning rotations, etc).

I am hoping some of you will be willing to share your thoughts and experiences with me. Do you think the Priest would be open to our family and willing to baptize my daughter? If we were to join your Parish, would you care that I’m not a practicing Catholic? Would that negatively affect my child? My gut reaction is that it would be OK. The members of my childhood Church were wonderful, but this is new Parish and I haven’t been to Mass in more than 15 years so I’m not sure what would be acceptable.

Any (name removed by moderator)ut would be greatly appreciated! Thanks very much!
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I don’t think the priest will let you baptize your daughter unless you promise to become a practicing Catholic again. It just wouldn’t make sense. And as your daughter grew old enough to understand, she might start thinking that if you don’t practice the faith then she shouldn’t have to either.
 
Talk to your husband about it, and see if the two of you can work together in this. That’s probably the best advice I can give.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood
 
quacker66 said:
And as your daughter grew old enough to understand, she might start thinking that if you don’t practice the faith then she shouldn’t have to either.
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Unfortunately that is true.
I will pray that you have courage to go to Confession and get your faith back on track. You may surprise yourself and find it’s not as painful to return as you think! God is drawing you back. I thank Him for that, and ask Him to please help you to follow through.

With welcome and love, Trishie
 
Hi Puppyfrog,
why don’t you just do this: look up the Sunday mass schedule at your church and then take your daughter (and husband as well, if he feels like joining you) to Holy Mass this coming Sunday? Then, come back and tell us, how did it feel like attending Mass after a 15-year hiatus? I would love to hear about your experience. 😃

I also had a period when I had fallen away from the Church during college years, and it was a funny experience going back to confession after I haven’t confessed for some 5 or 6 years. It took me almost a full year to gather the courage to confess, and even just going back to attend Mass was a funny feeling - partly happy and looking forward to it, partly anxious and asking myself, “will God still welcome me after such a long time of being away”? I would really love to hear from you again, if you don’t mind, after you attend Mass.

Giving your daughter a religious upbringing is certainly a good thing. In fact, thinking of my mother, I believe the single greatest gift my sister and I received from her was this, that she raised us in a practicing Catholic home. Which still didn’t prevent me from falling away 😦 - but it surely gave me a wonderful place where to return! 🙂 😃 😃
 
I have actually spoken with two priests about this very recently (baptism) - it is most likely that the priest will baptize your child with no hestitation. For a priest to refuse to baptize a baby, he has to have evidence that there is NO intention for that child to be raised Catholic - basically both parents would have to be devil worshippers or something. Priests are not in the business of withholding sacraments. Now, GODPARENTS are another issue. Priests can more easily refuse to allow certain people to be Godparents - if they are not practicing Catholics it would not be unusual for him to ask you to find someone else to be the Godparent. Please, talk to the priest at your local parish about this. I think he will be most willing to baptize your daughter. It is so admirable of you to realize that the Church will be a huge part of her growing up, even though you are not ready to be a practicing Catholic again. I will pray for you!
 
Puppyfrog, perhaps the Lord is also pulling you back into the Church?

If this is something that you want for your child, someone whom you would die for, why do you not want it for yourself?

Just go to Mass, see what happens.
 
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