Youth problem about feelings

  • Thread starter Thread starter Babinicz
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
B

Babinicz

Guest
Hi. Ive got embarrasing problem. I think that I have fallen in love. The university starts in October but I have met a girl that will be on the same branch of study just like me. She is catholic from what I know. We havent meet irl but only few messages on internet. Yet I get very emotional about it.
I know that we are strangers and all. There will be plenty of girls there too to meet and talk.
But it is like charm. I dont know her but at first glance I really lost my mind.
I know that I could talk with her and meet during a year. Why not try it?
But I get very emotional. She is a complete stranger but I am getting weird feelings. Like the excitement when she replies.
Please help what should I do? Maybe its because I havent experienced such feelings in past?
She is friendly and catholic, and I am charmed.
 
Greetings from Poland!
I am not sure I understand what your problem is… Is she or is she not a complete stranger? - you met her on the internet - but does she want to know you better? - I assume, you want to know her better. Then just arrange a meeting in real life and see how it goes from there.
The fact that you met her online means little in the long run - that it is if you continue your relationship offline, and keep it mostly in the real life.
I met my husband online, because at that time we were both gamers and met on gamers’ forum… Here I am, 12 years later, happily married with four kids here, and one in Heaven.
So, don’t think of this as an embarrasing problem. You might be in love, but don’t keep it just online, and besides, much as I wish you all the best - she may or may not reciprocate. The only way to find out is to meet in real life.
In all of this - never foget God and pray (I didn’t then, I was pretty much agnostic then, and so was my husband to be) - He will show you the way.
 
Babinicz said:
Hi. Ive got embarrasing problem. I think that I have fallen in love. The university starts in October but I have met a girl that will be on the same branch of study just like me. She is catholic from what I know. We havent meet irl but only few messages on internet. Yet I get very emotional about it.
Click to expand...
Can you speak with a counsellor or your Priest about this. it is a bit extreme to fall in love based on a couple of internet messages. A chat with someone about this might help you put it into perspective. You will start University and be surrounded by lots of people your age of the opposite sex. Your job will be to concentrate on your studies and try not to lose your mind with every woman who you feel very akin to.
There are going to be many friendly people at University, hopefully a few Catholics amongst them.
 
Just be careful she’s not a ‘Catfish’! If I were you I would concentrate on your studies and meeting new people - it’s a bit of a hassle going into that environment with a long distance rship I can tell you. Luckily it didn’t stop me meeting friends I still have today although that rship didn’t last
 
Sounds like a normal reaction of a young man interacting with a young lady for maybe the first time in this way.

Don’t let your feelings get the better of you. Take some time to review at the end of the day and think about the logic of the situaton.

But there’s nothing to say you can’t enjoy this new element of your life, it will probably become more familiar to you as you mature.
 
I know but I feel ashamed. I shouldnt get so emotional about a person.
 
Babinicz said:
I know but I feel ashamed. I shouldnt get so emotional about a person.
Click to expand...
It happens. You just have to develop the ability to deal with it. perhaps you will actually develop a friendship with the person, in which case, the initial excitement will give way to a deeper relationship. Or maybe nothing will come of this at all and it’ll kind of die down in a few weeks.
 
Are you emotional about her or about what you envisage about her based on just a few messages?
 
No one learnt me how to deal with it…

But we will meet eventually on the university. Then I can give it a try. The relationship is being build very slowly after all.
 
Trust in God. Emotions are tricky things and the Internet doesn’t help much. You can easily set yourself up for a heartbreak. I’m not saying you shouldn’t meet her, but to control your feelings until you get to know her better. I met my wife online, but we were older and more mature. I had met many women that I never saw again once we met. True love is much more than the initial excitement of getting to know someone. Concentrate on your studies, but also have some fun meeting people, and trust in God to lead you to the right person.
 
I know but you can talk with your children about emotions, tell them that these situations will happen and support them.
Im afraid to tell my parents about my emotions, dont know their reaction either
 
Part of growing up is you don’t discuss with your parents every time you have a crush on somebody. They can probably tell anyway.

At this point you don’t really know this lady very well, so your strong attraction to her is just a very strong crush. You have to get to know someone in order to truly love them. Some people get strong crushes based on just seeing someone or speaking to them a few times, it’s normal. If this feels weird to you it’s probably just that you haven’t experienced such feelings before.

I would suggest that you try to develop a real-life friendship with this girl by talking to her at school. You can discuss class work, ask her to go for coffee etc. If she doesn’t seem interested in you then maybe your crush will fade away, or maybe you will see or talk to another girl who’s more interested.

You will of course need to control your emotions when you’re around this girl so as not to scare her away. Again, most of us have something like this happen to us and need to learn to manage our feelings even if we feel very strongly. I’m sure you’ll do fine. Just don’t let your feelings distract you from your school work.
 
Babinicz said:
I know but you can talk with your children about emotions, tell them that these situations will happen and support them.
Im afraid to tell my parents about my emotions, dont know their reaction either
Click to expand...
There are a great many things one could to talk about their children about, but how to feel when you meet someone online (beyond the safety aspect we do all need to talk about) is something a lot of parents have no personal experience with. Other than here’s what to avoid to avoid being the victim of crimes or catfishing, I wouldn’t know anything to teach my children on the subject.
 
Last edited:
I think that she isnt a catfish. I have seen her name on university lists(I mean these where are people who were acceptes to university) so I found her profile and then started conversation.

Its not like I met a random person online on a strangers chat.
 
I hope that I am not making any trouble with my concers…

I know that you cant teach your children everything in their young age but at least talk about some matters. I dont say about online meeting but lets say that a juvenile has a crush on a classmate in school and he/she doesnt know what to feel.
I think that parents should talk about something like this. They were both young and experienced feelings about falling in love, excitement and so on. I know that everbody feels different, albeit there are some basic matters and that way a child knows his/her parents care about him/her and feels that isnt isolated.

Or I dont know and my thoughts are idealistic. Tell me then.
 
You’re going to University soon. I’m not sure where you’re located or what your culture is like, but in USA usually people going to University are 17 or 18 and kind of past the point where they want to talk to their parents about how to handle having a crush. Usually that conversation might be happening more at age 12, 13 or 14.

I’m sure there are people out there who discussed their crushes with their parents when they were older teens too, just saying it is not the norm. In my case, by age 18 I felt like my mother was too much in my personal life already and I wanted to have some personal privacy to handle my own friendships and relationships.

Also, parents can sometimes be very dismissive or harsh about crushes, because the parent is much older and has big, serious responsibilities like earning a living for the family or perhaps dealing with some serious matter such as a health concern, and they may not see a crush as a big deal in the grand scheme of life. You might be better off talking to somebody like a youth counselor, or one of your friends.
 
Poland
Here you can start university at 19.

I know that parents have serious concerns but who to tell if not parents? Later children may not want to talk about anything because they werent given attention or listened to in younger age.
I know that children know the parents situation and dont demand impossible but sometimes they can talk with each other.
They are working, but they have been since the children were born.

I was talking about such conversations in young age like 12-13.

But I havent had any of these. I was afraid to tell them even serious problems then.

Maybe I am hopeless case. Im young and dont have kids so cant speak for myself.
 
If the real problem here is you’re afraid to talk to your parents, then that’s a situation only you, your parents and a counselor can sort out.
 
These feelings are infatuation. What we call puppy love.

After you meet her, these feelings may grow or they may dissipate.

My advice is not to make more of it that it is, take things slowly, and see where it goes when you get to university in the fall.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top