17yr old is interested in my 13yr old daughter

[spunjalebi]

13 and 17? That’s about the age of Mary and Joseph when he took her in to his home. So there isn’t anything intrinsically wrong with the ages.

Being the same age doesn’t necessarily make a young man a suitable suitor for one’s daughter. How does a parent get rid of an unsuitable young man that is exactly the same?

I can’t believe this. So it’s okay for a 13 year old to get married to a 17 year old?

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Can get rid of him lots of ways - be a parent. Do whatever is necessary. Old days, you’d take him to the woods; unfortunately, we can’t do that any more.

You can still take him to the gun range to do some target shooting.

 

[CatholicBoy1957]

I can’t believe this. So it’s okay for a 13 year old to get married to a 17 year old?

In Mary and Joseph’s culture it was. In our culture it would be a substantial problem.

Children are expected to remain children until a much later age. Even when I was a kid, people married around 18 to 21, at least in this part of the country, and no, I don’t live in the mountains, because the mountains are a good 15 minutes away. I realized, even as a confused, liberal Catholic back then, that our culture was out of step with nature, and the demand that people had to have a high school education in our society was a sure ticket to immorality. Sure enough, the attitude progressed, through the necessity of college, and beyond.

But back to the topic, and I’m just thinking that the 17 year old might be a really great kid, perhaps a frequent mass attendant, and a saint in the making, whereas, a boatload of guys of the same age might be interested in one thing, instead of the three things, in their correct order.

 

[joandarc2008]

In Mary and Joseph’s culture it was. In our culture it would be a substantial problem.

Children are expected to remain children until a much later age. Even when I was a kid, people married around 18 to 21, at least in this part of the country, and no, I don’t live in the mountains, because the mountains are a good 15 minutes away. I realized, even as a confused, liberal Catholic back then, that our culture was out of step with nature, and the demand that people had to have a high school education in our society was a sure ticket to immorality. Sure enough, the attitude progressed, through the necessity of college, and beyond.

But back to the topic, and I’m just thinking that the 17 year old might be a really great kid, perhaps a frequent mass attendant, and a saint in the making, whereas, a boatload of guys of the same age might be interested in one thing, instead of the three things, in their correct order.

I agree in Mary and Josephs culture it was not a big deal for a married 13 or 14 year old to be pregnant - I think most of us today would have an issue with this.

 

[PatriceA]

In Mary and Joseph’s culture it was. In our culture it would be a substantial problem.

Children are expected to remain children until a much later age. Even when I was a kid, people married around 18 to 21, at least in this part of the country, and no, I don’t live in the mountains, because the mountains are a good 15 minutes away. I realized, even as a confused, liberal Catholic back then, that our culture was out of step with nature, and the demand that people had to have a high school education in our society was a sure ticket to immorality. Sure enough, the attitude progressed, through the necessity of college, and beyond.

But back to the topic, and I’m just thinking that the 17 year old might be a really great kid, perhaps a frequent mass attendant, and a saint in the making, whereas, a boatload of guys of the same age might be interested in one thing, instead of the three things, in their correct order.

You are correct, it may well be a great 17 year old in the situation. But then again, if he was so great, he would have been more respectful about the mother’s concerns when she talked to him about her daughter having a crush on him and he would have stopped texting the girl. Part of the concern for me at least if it was my daughter in question, is that she hasn’t fully developed how to discern the really great guys from the jerks. To a 13 year old with a crush, all is wonderful, every guy is great. She hasn’t learned the tools yet about taking care of herself if the guy in question turns out to be a jerk.

 

[Nanny_PK]

I haven’t read all the responses so I hope I’m not being repetitive.

Let me start off by saying I’m not a parent – and I know that some people think I have no business commenting on parenting issues – but I do work in a criminal courtroom and see situations like this all the time.

I’m not saying your daughter is sexually active AT ALL but I would have a very frank discussion with her and let her know the legal ramifications to this boy she seems to be infatuated with. I don’t know what state you’re in, but in Texas this would be an aggravated case meaning he would be facing life in prison!!! Not to mention the fact that he would be required to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life – you might even want to have this frank little discussion with the boy in question.

You say you can’t take her cell phone away from her, then I would get one of the ones that’s for younger children – where they can only call certain numbers and no texting allowed at all. You could also block texting to her phone – no incoming or outgoing. If she complains, tell her tough. You’re the parent and you’re paying the bill.