20 years old and hopeless about life

[CatholicGuy31]

Can admin please delete this thread? I’m giving up on life now so please delete this!

Please don’t give up as you haven’t even begun to live your life yet.

I read through your entire thread and it was very moving. I have no idea what you are going through just now all I know is that you are some incredible woman to have gone through all this and yet remain a loving and caring person.

Your parents divorce was a great injustice to you and if this wasn’t enough there was the abuse. Yet you still cared about honouring them. I have to say I don’t know of anyone who would have done this. However you don’t seem to think of yourself as beautiful. This is because the first thing abuse does is to take away your self worth. This is not your fault. In fact NONE of it is your fault. Once you learn to identify this it can help greatly in letting go of the hurt so that your inner beauty begins to flourish.

If you are forced to move back with your parents for financial reasons I would recommend taking some time for yourself each day. Perhaps talking to a friend or relative or just some quiet time. It is unfortunate when your immediate family who are the people you are supposed to rely on the most are the ones who hurt you. Families (particularly the parents) are supposed to set the example but sometimes it can work backwards. Whenever they do things to hurt you just remember these are the things you are not supposed to do.

Do you have someone you can talk to in a constructive way? This is very important as it looks like you are not getting this from either of your parents. Also we are here to help in any way we can. Please don’t feel like you are bothering anyone with your posts.

I don’t have an explanation for why you are going through this difficult time in your life but please don’t forget that Jesus and your Mother in Heaven are with you always. Even though you don’t see it they are going through every bit of hurt you are. Please don’t give up on their plans for you. God is not done with you just yet.

 

[Chantal25]

Oh Dear, suffering doesn’t necessary end upon death as so many tend to think. Except that the suffering here on earth can be fruitful and not in vain because we can offer it to Jesus on the cross through the intercession of the Bless Mother.
Our life is precious very very very precious no matter how hard it can be and painful.

I am not God, but i am guessing that misery isn’t His Will but keeping our faith, our trust and seeking to love God more then anything else as loving our neighbor is good. Pray the Bless Mother, she is your mother. Ask St-Joseph to be your adoptive father. Those are the best parent you can dream of. Mother Mary takes her roll as a mother very seriously.

I pray for you and each time i will think of you i will pray.

I don’t know you, but i do care about you.
You are loved beyond word sweet heart, remember this, you aren’t alone and never will be.
Keep the faith and don’t dare letting despair destroying Hope.

-God Bless!

 

[Mummsie]

Now when things are really tough, God is waiting for you to turn to him. He will absolutely give you what you need. He will walk beside you in your journey. To go home or stay is a very hard decision. Either way you go, God will be with you always.

Please stay in touch with us. God Bless You.

Mummsie

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

Don’t Worry , Be Happy and make sure you Pray a bit

 

[therose01]

Hi again. Sorry if I worried anyone - I was not refering to suicide. Thanks for your sweet words and prayers… Just that I’ve lost hope of life in general. Sort of feel like God is so far away and has abandoned me. Having many new doubts etc. I pray and pray but it seems my situation never changes. My mum has done some nice things for me in life and I do talk back and argue/shout back sometimes I feel she’s unfair so I think i might be the problem - cause what are the odds that a person gets a mean mother AND a father who is creepy? My dad did slap me on the butt and let his hand slide down when we hugged, but maybe this was an accident? Maybe he did just think it was normal and that everyone does like he said. It did feel uncomfortable though but then again I’m very sensitive and sometimes interpret things wrong. And every family has issues, no parent is perfect plus that in some cultures parents are just quite controlling and don’t necessarily mean harm, maybe this is the case with my mum. I think the underlying reason for the mistreatment / anger from my parents are that I have failed in school. They are disappointed to the core and show this by their treatment instead…

 

[Lou2U]

Hi again. Sorry if I worried anyone - I was not refering to suicide. Thanks for your sweet words and prayers… Just that I’ve lost hope of life in general. Sort of feel like God is so far away and has abandoned me. Having many new doubts etc. I pray and pray but it seems my situation never changes. My mum has done some nice things for me in life and I do talk back and argue/shout back sometimes I feel she’s unfair so I think i might be the problem - cause what are the odds that a person gets a mean mother AND a father who is creepy? My dad did slap me on the butt and let his hand slide down when we hugged, but maybe this was an accident? Maybe he did just think it was normal and that everyone does like he said. It did feel uncomfortable though but then again I’m very sensitive and sometimes interpret things wrong. And every family has issues, no parent is perfect plus that in some cultures parents are just quite controlling and don’t necessarily mean harm, maybe this is the case with my mum. I think the underlying reason for the mistreatment / anger from my parents are that I have failed in school. They are disappointed to the core and show this by their treatment instead…

I am so glad to hear back from you, and glad to know you aren’t suicidal :hug1:

I promise you, things do get better. I don’t know if you still live at home, but if there’s anywhere else you can go - get your own place, stay with another relative or a friend until you can find yourself somewhere - I think that would be good for you. With regards to your parents, I am so sorry they are acting this way towards you. I promise you, you are more than just how academically gifted you are. I think it matters less about what is normal or not normal, and more about how you feel about it. If you are uncomfortable about it, then that is how you feel, and you shouldn’t question yourself on that. Is there any way you can limit the time you spend with your parents if you live with them? I would start to plan to move out if you do. If you don’t live with them, then obviously, you can limit your time with them that way.

Lou

 

[meltzerboy]

Hi again. Sorry if I worried anyone - I was not refering to suicide. Thanks for your sweet words and prayers… Just that I’ve lost hope of life in general. Sort of feel like God is so far away and has abandoned me. Having many new doubts etc. I pray and pray but it seems my situation never changes. My mum has done some nice things for me in life and I do talk back and argue/shout back sometimes I feel she’s unfair so I think i might be the problem - cause what are the odds that a person gets a mean mother AND a father who is creepy? My dad did slap me on the butt and let his hand slide down when we hugged, but maybe this was an accident? Maybe he did just think it was normal and that everyone does like he said. It did feel uncomfortable though but then again I’m very sensitive and sometimes interpret things wrong. And every family has issues, no parent is perfect plus that in some cultures parents are just quite controlling and don’t necessarily mean harm, maybe this is the case with my mum. I think the underlying reason for the mistreatment / anger from my parents are that I have failed in school. They are disappointed to the core and show this by their treatment instead…

Are you presently seeing a therapist or counselor? If not, please do, and, if possible, go with your parents as well as individually. If you are but it doesn’t seem to be working, please ask your primary care physician to recommend another therapist. While I’m sure your problems are unique to you, you should also realize that it is not so unusual for young people to be depressed, sometimes rightly so, based on their situation. But life can, and usually does, get better over time. You just have to persevere by seeking help from others in addition to members of CAF, whether a therapist, a priest, a trusted friend or confidante, and/or a support group. I hope and pray you do so and realize there are options.

 

[CatholicGuy31]

Hi again. Sorry if I worried anyone - I was not refering to suicide. Thanks for your sweet words and prayers… Just that I’ve lost hope of life in general. Sort of feel like God is so far away and has abandoned me. Having many new doubts etc. I pray and pray but it seems my situation never changes. My mum has done some nice things for me in life and I do talk back and argue/shout back sometimes I feel she’s unfair so I think i might be the problem - cause what are the odds that a person gets a mean mother AND a father who is creepy? My dad did slap me on the butt and let his hand slide down when we hugged, but maybe this was an accident? Maybe he did just think it was normal and that everyone does like he said. It did feel uncomfortable though but then again I’m very sensitive and sometimes interpret things wrong. And every family has issues, no parent is perfect plus that in some cultures parents are just quite controlling and don’t necessarily mean harm, maybe this is the case with my mum. I think the underlying reason for the mistreatment / anger from my parents are that I have failed in school. They are disappointed to the core and show this by their treatment instead…

Thank you for getting back. I am so glad to hear that you didn’t mean what I thought you did!

Please believe me when I say that God has not abandoned you. He does not abandon anyone and He is particularly close to those who pray. Its just that the world around us makes it very difficult for us to see and hear His presence. When we can’t hear Him it then becomes easy to neglect what He wants us to do in order to receive the joys and graces He has planned for us. One of the best places to listen can be in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament in Adoration. Other times it can be after communion or confession. I think at your stage in life it is important to find out what you truly love and the things that interest you.

If your parents are causing you to doubt yourself it can sometimes mean that they are struggling with past issues of their own. It is best if you can gain some distance without cutting them off as this can help you identify which shortcomings are truly yours and which ones are being projected by your parents. Talking to a close friend/priest or nun can also be helpful in this. Sometimes it is not till we talk to someone that we are able to identify any psychological wounds that may need healing.

Above all never forget that you are a precious life with a special purpose.

P.S. If you are considering a therapist I would recommend finding someone Catholic. I have known some therapists to lead people away from faith and leave them worse off and totally dependant on therapy. This is not to say all non-Catholic therapists are bad but some caution may be needed.

 

[therose01]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the wellwishes <3. I have considered therapy but still a bit hesitant. I’m scared they will just try to put me on pills which i really don’t want. But can everyone just honestly say - are my parents being abusive or am I too sensitive?

 

[Lou2U]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the wellwishes <3. I have considered therapy but still a bit hesitant. I’m scared they will just try to put me on pills which i really don’t want. But can everyone just honestly say - are my parents being abusive or am I too sensitive?

It’s good to hear from you! How are you?

If you don’t want to take pills, you don’t have to. You don’t have to take pills to go to therapy, and the two aren’t necessarily related. Therapy will let you talk to someone in real life who can help you find answers, and it lets you understand your own thought processes and how you can start to heal.

If your parents’ actions are making you uncomfortable, then what they are doing is wrong. You aren’t being sensitive to not like their actions. There’s more than one type of abuse - there’s physical, verbal and psychological. Your father’s anger issues and your mother’s narcissism do not sound healthy at all. I’m so sorry you had to grow up with adults who acted (and still act) to you like that :console: .

Lou

 

[therose01]

It’s good to hear from you! How are you?

If you don’t want to take pills, you don’t have to. You don’t have to take pills to go to therapy, and the two aren’t necessarily related. Therapy will let you talk to someone in real life who can help you find answers, and it lets you understand your own thought processes and how you can start to heal.

If your parents’ actions are making you uncomfortable, then what they are doing is wrong. You aren’t being sensitive to not like their actions. There’s more than one type of abuse - there’s physical, verbal and psychological. Your father’s anger issues and your mother’s narcissism do not sound healthy at all. I’m so sorry you had to grow up with adults who acted (and still act) to you like that :console: .

Lou

Thank you for the support Lou.

 

[CatholicGuy31]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the wellwishes.

You are most welcome. So glad to see you are making progress.

I have considered therapy but still a bit hesitant. I’m scared they will just try to put me on pills which i really don’t want.

Wise choice to avoid taking pills.

But can everyone just honestly say - are my parents being abusive or am I too sensitive?

Unfortunately I cannot answer either of these. Do you feel unhappy after being with your parents? Could there be anything else aside from your parents that is keeping you from being happy?

Keep praying. I am praying for you also.
God Bless.

 

[Chantal25]

I join everyone in happiness to see you are ok
You got me worry for sure.

Mother Teresa suffered almost 50 years of feeling that God has abandoned her, but had faith. Honestly, we all know how much the Lord was with her. She had to go through this. God is much closer to you then you may think, He is with us when we suffer, just a heart beat away.

Sometime challenges remain but God gives us strength and peace to carry on. Sometime, he takes away the Heavy Cross and gives us a better one for us.

Things will get better, don’t lose Hope, you will see the light in all of this. I pray the Blessed Mother to obtain for you all the Graces that you need.

You are loved and will never be alone.
God Blessed!
-Chantal