40 and pregnant with child #5

  • Thread starter Thread starter onestepatatime
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Awww! Congratulations! What a beautiful blessing!
I understand your concerns…but try to just focus on your health during your pregnancy, and not your age…

My friend had her 1st baby at 42! everything was fine.

I will pray for you…:hug3:
 
Congrats. My wife had a baby when 39 and another when 42. Don’t let your age scare you with regards to the baby’s health. The odds are still in your favor, by far.

As to people’s reaction, its easy for many of us to give you advice such as “tell them its none of their business”, etc. But I happen to know the negative response from society often is directed at, and affects, the mother much more than the father. And the unkind remarks and reactions come from women more often than men. So husbands have it much easier on that front than wives. I suppose that all too often, women who live according to the dictates of the modern world feel betrayed or threatened when someone such as you do not live the same way. For whatever reason, it can be ugly. There is no simple answer. It is unfortunately a cross you have to bear, but do not let it get in the way of your joy at having another child.

God bless.
 
onestepatatime said:
I just took a pregnancy test and it came out positive!! We use NFP and d planned to not have more children (we have 4 already). I am scared because I am now forty and I worry about the baby’s health. I also worry if we will be able to support our family. I am very scared of the reaction the people that surround us and that they will judge us for using NFP and still having more children. How will we respond when I’m asked weren’t you using prevention methods. We are oddballs for using NFP and not anticonceptions. I am in great need of advice and encouragement:(
Click to expand...
When nosy strangers ask “the birth control question”, look at them with a quizzical expression and say, “What a personal question/statement! I don’t even know you; why is it important for you to know my private marriage business?”. You do not owe anyone an explanation. Congratulations! My step daughter has 9 nine children, #9 came when she was 39 and is the best one yet!
 
Who knows. Maybe that little one will someday be a brilliant scientist and find cures for some awful disease, or a world leader, or Pope. (unless it is a girl for the Pope)

A special child and no other one like it in the world.
 
You didn’t mention how old your youngest child is–not that that really makes a difference. I had our youngest at 41. My other children were 13 and 15. We had been using NFP for about 7 years prior and were ‘open’ to more children, although not actively trying to get pregnant. In other words, we used NFP pretty loosely–I didn’t chart or take my temperature or anything. It was probably more like the old “rhythm” method they talked about when I was in grade school. Anyway, we were happy to conceive, but it was frightening for me too. With two teenagers, who were very easy, we were on autopilot. My first visit to the doctor was both a blessing and a curse–I expected that I would have to defend my NFP position, but my doctor was surprisingly very supportive and encouraging. He was, however, required to tell me about all of the possible complications of pregnancy at my age. That is just not fun to hear, but like I said, he was very encouraging and told me that he wouldn’t expect any difficulty because I was in good health and had two previous non-eventful pregnancies. I can’t even tell you what a blessing our baby Gabriel has been to our family! Yes, there were lots of changes and challenges (my parents began having serious health issues right after he was born), but that little boy has taught us to love in ways we never could have imagined! He’s 8 now and such a bright spot for everyone he meets–he truly makes at least one new friend everywhere we go.

The public is harsh to women our age having babies–and I’m sad to say that there were even some in my parish who were less than supportive. When I first had Gabe, the produce man at the grocery store said “I suppose you are going to try to tell me that was planned.” I was stunned. I replied, “All babies are planned by God, but not everyone cooperates with that plan.” He was completely taken aback by that and said, “You are right.” Anyway, there are a lot of rude people out there and they will make it a point to inflict their rude comments on you. I never had a chance to use this response, but I had someone suggest just looking the rude questioner in the eye and saying with a smile, “I’m sure you didn’t really mean to ask such a rude question. I’m sure you intended to wish me the best on this new blessing from God!” I thought that was a good suggestion, but I got it too late and I had fielded my quota of rudeness I guess!

Good luck to you. Feel free to PM me if you want.

Kathy
 
Just as another witness of healthy births for older women my mom had a child at 39 and another at 42. Both perfectly healthy. Congratulations! 🙂
 
Hi, this is a wonderful blessing! Congratulations. I know how you must feel, I get frightened of that sort of judgement too, as most of my friends and family are not Catholic, and we live in such a harsh society. I will keep you in my prayers. Also I wanted to add to what others have said: I think of these verses below from Matthew chapter 6 whenever I am tempted to worry too much about the future of my family.

24 'No one can be the slave of two masters: he will either hate the first and love the second, or be attached to the first and despise the second. You cannot be the slave both of God and of money.
25 ‘That is why I am telling you not to worry about your life and what you are to eat, nor about your body and what you are to wear. Surely life is more than food, and the body more than clothing!
26 Look at the birds in the sky. They do not sow or reap or gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they are?
27 Can any of you, however much you worry, add one single cubit to your span of life?
28 And why worry about clothing? Think of the flowers growing in the fields; they never have to work or spin;
29 yet I assure you that not even Solomon in all his royal robes was clothed like one of these.
30 Now if that is how God clothes the wild flowers growing in the field which are there today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, will he not much more look after you, you who have so little faith?
31 So do not worry; do not say, “What are we to eat? What are we to drink? What are we to wear?”
32 It is the gentiles who set their hearts on all these things. Your heavenly Father knows you need them all.
33 Set your hearts on his kingdom first, and on God’s saving justice, and all these other things will be given you as well.
34 So do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.’

I just think of the “Lillies of the field!” whenever I feel worried. It is such a beautiful phrase! 🙂
 
Congratulations!

My wife had our eleventh child at 45. She is now 1 1/2 yo and a darling. Her siblings, at home, are 4,5,7,9,10,12,13 can’t be happier. Don’t worry about what others say and enjoy the blessing you have received.

With that in mind, you still have a lot of time to add to your family:)
 
hi, I’m the third born in a family of eight children.my mum got a baby when she was above forty and of all of us the eighth was by far the most cheerful he was smilling from when he was only a month old.Children are a gift from God what would it matter what others decide to judge you.Our Lord will provide for the child as well worry not about financial issues God will provide. As for the critics there is a true story to do with St.Pio where someone came to confession and confessed to using contraceptives padre Pio showed her a vision of a pope who was loved by all then the vision disappeared and Padre Pio told her that pope would have been ur son. Take heart the baby will be amazing.you have my prayers
 
Thank you so much for posting this question. I’m in a similar situation, completely surprised two days ago to find out we’re pregnant with our third (I’m 44). The answer to “weren’t to taking precautions” is simply “yes, these things happen” . Even artificial BC fails some times. My best friend got pregnant with her third while on the pill.

Mostly I wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I’ll be praying for you and your family.
 
I am 45, I pray every day for another baby. I think you are very blessed. Who on earth cares what anyone says about you or your family? Obviously God thinks this baby is right for you, you just can’t do better than that.
Praying for you and your bundle of joy!
 
RecallSt. Elizabeth and Zechariah, the parents of St. John the Baptist, they were old at the time of St. Elizabeth’s conception. Also, Abraham and Sarah.

Therefore, it is sometimes God’s will that older people conceive and have children. Don’t complain or fight against it or worry about what other people say. It is a great gift.

God bless.
 
Congratulations! Know that you are most definitely not alone as these replies attest. I had my fifth baby at 40 and it was my best pregnancy. I sit here now holding my healthy sixth child who was born a month ago at the age of 45 (my oldest is 21). Don’t worry about what other people say or about health, let God handle that and know that He will give you the strength for whatever comes your way.
 
I would take it as a blessing instead of a curse. I’m 43 single and to will likely never have any and will likely remain single the rest of my life and GOD only sends me men who want to use me. I know if sounds harsh but I’m a realist and a little down right now with a house that’s a money pit and not way to get out of debt even with working two jobs. I’d count your blessing it could always be worse.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top