40% of babies born to unmarried women !!!

[PRmerger]

When you’re talking about creating a culture of shame and scorn for unwed parents and making it difficult for them to find work, that isn’t freely entering in to marriage.

A lot of people should not marry the person that they made a baby with. They just shouldn’t. Rather than encouraging people who wouldn’t be good together to get married after the fact, why don’t we focus more on combating unplanned pregnancies?

This is very Catholic of you to say, BEL!

 

[maryjk]

Wow I am shocked at the victim blaming going on here. I had no issues with your post until the part I bolded. The ‘problem’ was that the man was an abuser. Now why dont we re direct the shame on to him.

What about couples who are abstinent and then one partner begins to abuse the other after marriage? Is the victim less culpable (for an act committed to them not by them) because he or she was ‘good’ and did not have premarital sex? Why are we even talking about victim culpability in the first place. :banghead:

If I could say anything to the abused woman it would be to ignore any comments about her choices and to know that she was not responsible for what happened to her. No one can make us do anything. When we directly hurt someone, we alone are responsible.

Maybe I am reading this wrongly, but are you saying that she deserved being abused for having premarital sex?

I am not saying she deserved anything, or blaming her for the abuse.

But she did not have an unplanned pregnancy. Sex worked and she got pregnant. She then made some more bad choices.

She was a victim of abuse, but that doesn’t make her not responsible for getting pregnant with a man she didn’t know. In other words, simply because she was a victim, doesn’t erase the poor choices she made.

Think about it this way. If a woman walks down a back alley where gangs hang out, wearing short shorts, a tube top and high heels, and she is raped, yes, you get her help and you try to prosecute the men. BUT, you also help her to make better choices in the future.

 

[Walking_Home]

I am not saying she deserved anything, or blaming her for the abuse.

But she did not have an unplanned pregnancy. Sex worked and she got pregnant. She then made some more bad choices.

She was a victim of abuse, but that doesn’t make her not responsible for getting pregnant with a man she didn’t know. In other words, simply because she was a victim, doesn’t erase the poor choices she made.

Think about it this way. If a woman walks down a back alley where gangs hang out, wearing short shorts, a tube top and high heels, and she is raped, yes, you get her help and you try to prosecute the men.** BUT, you also help her to make better choices in the future**.

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Seriously – you are now laying fault with a rape victim. Again – disgusting.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

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Seriously – you are still laying fault with the rape victim. Again – disgusting.

It’s always easier to tell the woman not to wear something than it is to tell men not to rape.

But it doesn’t matter, the point of my post was that getting married because you got pregnant compounds the problem. Yes, getting pregnant by someone that you don’t know very well is a mistake, but marrying that person can make it so much worse.