It was a very lengthy process. It started about 12-13 years before I actually left. I just started having a lot of doubts. Mormons usually bury their heads in the sand over difficult issues, particularly with regard to their own history. I have NEVER been one to read anti-Mormon literature, in fact, I was always the one who staunchly defended the Mormon Church.
Before my final exit, I gave an honest and sincere attempt to get a testimony of the Book of Mormon. I read it one last time over the course of about five weeks, starting each study with prayer and ending with prayer. I tested Moroni’s promise to study and ask with real intent to know if the Book of Mormon were NOT true. I received a pretty strong witness that it was not true.
My records were removed from the Church a few years ago. Even after that, and having moved away from all my friends and family, I decided that I wanted to get a fresh start in a new setting. Maybe I just needed to get a feel for it from a different perspective. I went to church and met with missionaries. It didn’t last long. There was nothing there. My soul was hollow with respect to the Mormon church.
I finally did what I had never done in my life. I studied Church history from strictly LDS publications. It was eye opening. I couldn’t believe half of what I read, so I studied more and more. The more I learned, the angrier I got. All the lies I had been told all my life. For a while, I drifted off the edge, almost embracing atheism. But the Spirit worked on me and drew me back. I attended a non-denominational Christian church. It was okay, but didn’t move my soul. I tried a Baptist church, then a Methodist church, then another Baptist church. Nothing clicked.
A few months ago, I entered a Catholic mass. There’s no description I can adequately give of the feelings that I had being there. Yeah, it was a little weird at first, but with each new week became a new breath of life. It’s been nothing but joy. We are NOT the Church of the Devil. And if we are, then send me to hell.