6 Month Old Only Sleeps 2 Hours at a Time

[mt_gooseberry]

There is so much to say on this topic. First, night waking protects babies from SIDS. Second, a significant amount of calories and nutrients are consumed by babies who nurse at night, and babies who are only allowed to eat during the day do not make up the difference. Third, night feedings are the most significant determinant of how long a woman will be in lactation amenorrhea. Fourth…well, maybe it would be easier just to link to a pretty inclusive list of resources.

Night waking (especially to feed) is not a matter of opinion. It is biological fact that a baby should wake during the night to feed. Even if a mother is exhausted, a baby should not be encouraged to sleep all night long. God would not have designed babies to need to wake during the night to feed if it was going to be too difficult to manage for the mother. I myself have been there, twice, and while I agree that the exhaustion was worse than the pregnancy, labor, and birth combined (and multiplied by 5!), you get over it.

 

[Cat]

There is so much to say on this topic. First, night waking protects babies from SIDS. Second, a significant amount of calories and nutrients are consumed by babies who nurse at night, and babies who are only allowed to eat during the day do not make up the difference. Third, night feedings are the most significant determinant of how long a woman will be in lactation amenorrhea. Fourth…well, maybe it would be easier just to link to a pretty inclusive list of resources.

Night waking (especially to feed) is not a matter of opinion. It is biological fact that a baby should wake during the night to feed. Even if a mother is exhausted, a baby should not be encouraged to sleep all night long. God would not have designed babies to need to wake during the night to feed if it was going to be too difficult to manage for the mother. I myself have been there, twice, and while I agree that the exhaustion was worse than the pregnancy, labor, and birth combined (and multiplied by 5!), you get over it.

I absolutely do not agree with this. “Even if a mother is exhausted…”

This is harmful advice. Exhaustion is dangerous, especially for a working mother, and I happen to believe that EVERY mother is a working mother.

There are many legitimate studies demonstrating the value of sleep and the harmful effects of tiredness and exhaustion on physical and mental health.

In the last few years, studies have been done demonstrating a link between lack of sleep with obesity. Tiredness brings on the production of the “hunger hormone” which leads to overeating and weight gain.

I also believe that it is harmful to wake a sleeping baby and try to force them to eat. There is an old and very wise adage: Do not wake a sleeping baby.

SIDS is definitely a danger to infants, and we must be vigilant in following the recommendations of the American Pediatric Assocation (no bumper pads, no pillows, sleep on the back). But to my knowledge, no medical organization has recommended waking a baby in the night to prevent SIDS.

As for using night feedings to prolong amenorrhea–I can’t imagine even wanting sex if I am exhausted.

I will repeat from my previous post that a mother’s exhaustion puts her baby and any other siblings, as well as herself, and the PUBLIC, in danger. Lack of sleep causes as many auto accidents as alcohol. Babies and children deserve a mom who is well-rested and can give them her alert attention.

Many of the mothers on CAF who co-sleep do so because they are able to get adequate sleep while co-sleeping, and I certainly support that! More power to any mom who is able to sleep with a baby!

I think this is the first time that I have seen a mom advocate “maternal exhaustion” as a necessity in nursing.

 

[bunnykisses88]

I’m glad I was a sahm mom these whole 16 months. I nursed her on demand and slept whenever she slept since I didn’t have a job or other kids. the apt went to heck lots of times but my priority is always her. haha only now is the apt shaping up a bunch. She is now eating a lot more food and I have so much energy back. she’s been sleeping through the night for maybe 5-7 months now. No way I’m I doing anything to encourage her not to wake. When she is sick she wakes up at night but that is all.

Whenever I do catch my rainbow baby, I’m a little nervous of how I’m gonna juggle two!

Oh and she had a tongue tie! that made her nurse more frequently! We tried to fix it but I made a bad choice going with cheaper instead of more experience…so it wasn’t cut all the way… but thank God she continued to grow very very well despite that and the pain wasn’t that bad at all.

 

[mt_gooseberry]

I absolutely do not agree with this. “Even if a mother is exhausted…”

This is harmful advice. Exhaustion is dangerous, especially for a working mother, and I happen to believe that EVERY mother is a working mother.

There are many legitimate studies demonstrating the value of sleep and the harmful effects of tiredness and exhaustion on physical and mental health.

In the last few years, studies have been done demonstrating a link between lack of sleep with obesity. Tiredness brings on the production of the “hunger hormone” which leads to overeating and weight gain.

I also believe that it is harmful to wake a sleeping baby and try to force them to eat. There is an old and very wise adage: Do not wake a sleeping baby.

SIDS is definitely a danger to infants, and we must be vigilant in following the recommendations of the American Pediatric Assocation (no bumper pads, no pillows, sleep on the back). But to my knowledge, no medical organization has recommended waking a baby in the night to prevent SIDS.

As for using night feedings to prolong amenorrhea–I can’t imagine even wanting sex if I am exhausted.

I will repeat from my previous post that a mother’s exhaustion puts her baby and any other siblings, as well as herself, and the PUBLIC, in danger. Lack of sleep causes as many auto accidents as alcohol. Babies and children deserve a mom who is well-rested and can give them her alert attention.

Many of the mothers on CAF who co-sleep do so because they are able to get adequate sleep while co-sleeping, and I certainly support that! More power to any mom who is able to sleep with a baby!

I think this is the first time that I have seen a mom advocate “maternal exhaustion” as a necessity in nursing.

Um, did you even look at my resources?

"The peak incidence of SIDS is around three months, which coincides with the time most babies begin to sleep “better,” that is, to spend a larger percentage of sleep time in quiet sleep. During quiet sleep, infants are less responsive to the breathing-stimulating effects of low oxygen and increased carbon dioxide (Harper 1982).

In addition, studies of near-miss infants and siblings of SIDS infants show that these babies have fewer night-waking episodes. In the first few months, infants normally have frequent periods of night-waking as they ascend from quiet sleep to active sleep and back into quiet sleep. Researchers have suggested that arousal from sleep may be essential for resumption of breathing in babies who have less effective self-starting mechanisms (Harper 1981). Difficulty with waking up may place infants at higher risk for SIDS. Infants presumed to be at high risk for SIDS also show more frequent episodes of sleep apnea and periodic breathing (Guillemmault 1981). This apnea occurs most frequently between 1:00 AM and 6:00 AM and within ten minutes of awakening. The infants who woke most often at night had fewer episodes of apnea. Active sleep guards against SIDS. Sleep studies have shown that the onset of active sleep (REM sleep) stimulates breathing and heart rate. On the basis of their studies, researchers hypothesized that active sleep “protects” human infants from SIDS. The peak risk period for SIDS coincides with the rapid decrease in active sleep between two and three months of age. By six months of age, cardiopulmonary compensatory mechanisms in quiet sleep are more mature and the risk of death (from failure of these mechanisms) is reduced (Baker and McGinty 1977).

In other words, infants are not designed to sleep through the night until they’re mature enough to do so safely." (Article)

I’m sorry, but you can’t argue with basic biology. Night-waking is a hard-wired biological response that protects against SIDS. I, for one, am not about to short-circuit nature’s SIDS prevention in order to rely on a trade organizations suggestions just so I don’t get fat. And having been there twice, I find your insistence that having a baby who wakes during the night is critically dangerous a little overblown. Come on. If you don’t sleep train your baby you might as well be driving drunk?

And by the way, the obesity studies found that long-term, chronic sleeplessness (as in years of suffering from insomnia) was linked to obesity, due to exposure to artificial light and the disruption of circadian rythyms. Not short-term frequent night-waking.

 

[KellyPalmer]

Um, did you even look at my resources?

"The peak incidence of SIDS is around three months, which coincides with the time most babies begin to sleep “better,” that is, to spend a larger percentage of sleep time in quiet sleep. During quiet sleep, infants are less responsive to the breathing-stimulating effects of low oxygen and increased carbon dioxide (Harper 1982).

In addition, studies of near-miss infants and siblings of SIDS infants show that these babies have fewer night-waking episodes. In the first few months, infants normally have frequent periods of night-waking as they ascend from quiet sleep to active sleep and back into quiet sleep. Researchers have suggested that arousal from sleep may be essential for resumption of breathing in babies who have less effective self-starting mechanisms (Harper 1981). Difficulty with waking up may place infants at higher risk for SIDS. Infants presumed to be at high risk for SIDS also show more frequent episodes of sleep apnea and periodic breathing (Guillemmault 1981). This apnea occurs most frequently between 1:00 AM and 6:00 AM and within ten minutes of awakening. The infants who woke most often at night had fewer episodes of apnea. Active sleep guards against SIDS. Sleep studies have shown that the onset of active sleep (REM sleep) stimulates breathing and heart rate. On the basis of their studies, researchers hypothesized that active sleep “protects” human infants from SIDS. The peak risk period for SIDS coincides with the rapid decrease in active sleep between two and three months of age. By six months of age, cardiopulmonary compensatory mechanisms in quiet sleep are more mature and the risk of death (from failure of these mechanisms) is reduced (Baker and McGinty 1977).

In other words, infants are not designed to sleep through the night until they’re mature enough to do so safely." (Article)

I’m sorry, but you can’t argue with basic biology. Night-waking is a hard-wired biological response that protects against SIDS. I, for one, am not about to short-circuit nature’s SIDS prevention in order to rely on a trade organizations suggestions just so I don’t get fat. And having been there twice, I find your insistence that having a baby who wakes during the night is critically dangerous a little overblown. Come on. If you don’t sleep train your baby you might as well be driving drunk?

And by the way, the obesity studies found that long-term, chronic sleeplessness (as in years of suffering from insomnia) was linked to obesity, due to exposure to artificial light and the disruption of circadian rythyms. Not short-term frequent night-waking.

 

[KellyPalmer]

There is so much to say on this topic. First, night waking protects babies from SIDS. Second, a significant amount of calories and nutrients are consumed by babies who nurse at night, and babies who are only allowed to eat during the day do not make up the difference. Third, night feedings are the most significant determinant of how long a woman will be in lactation amenorrhea. Fourth…well, maybe it would be easier just to link to a pretty inclusive list of resources.

Night waking (especially to feed) is not a matter of opinion. It is biological fact that a baby should wake during the night to feed. Even if a mother is exhausted, a baby should not be encouraged to sleep all night long. God would not have designed babies to need to wake during the night to feed if it was going to be too difficult to manage for the mother. I myself have been there, twice, and while I agree that the exhaustion was worse than the pregnancy, labor, and birth combined (and multiplied by 5!), you get over it.

I completely agree. We also know by the composition of human milk, that infants are not meant to have large spaces without nursing. Mammals that have higher fat/protein and low carb content have longer stretches between feedings but mammals (such as humans) with lower fat/protein content and higher carb content need frequent feedings (including at night). When we look at the composition and the speed in which an infant digests his milk, we realize that this truly is pure biology.

Additionally, humans are born about 9 months earlier than other mammals due to our large head size. For example, I watched goats being born on a farm and the babies literally fell out of their mother’s womb, got up and started running around. But human babies can’t do this. Human babies have about 9 months outside of the womb where they continue to gestate and the are designed to live in a ‘womb-like’ environment during this time. Some have coined this period as exterogestation. Babies need protection and a frequent source of food and heat. This lends itself most easily toward cosleeping and frequent nursing at night. That may not always fit each family’s specific situation but even the AAP recommends room-sharing and breastfeeding on demand (including at night).

 

[KellyPalmer]

Also, the fat content in human milk actually increases with age, allowing older babies to go larger spaces without nursing.

 

[mt_gooseberry]

As for using night feedings to prolong amenorrhea–I can’t imagine even wanting sex if I am exhausted.

I feel like I need to address this as well.

Prolonging lactation amenorrhea isn’t all about sex, although that is part of it. Lactation Amenorrhea is a good, natural, Catholic way of getting healthy child spacing. Instead of dismissing it out of hand as being too exhausting, it should be encouraged. Speaking as someone who is in their thirteenth month of lactation amenorrhea, it certainly takes a lot of the stress out of postpartum sex knowing that you have natural protection from becoming pregnant so soon after having had a baby.

But the most important facet of lactation amenorrhea is that it protects against all of the female cancers. Again, it comes down to biology: Estrogen causes cancer. During regular cycles, our bodies are subject to estrogen about every month. God designed us so that through much of our adult lives we would either be pregnant or in lactation amenorrhea, and therefore a huge chunk of time would be spent estrogen-free, thus preventing the onslaught of cancers that women are now plagued with, because they don’t follow the natural practices that lead to the healthy state of being cycle-free. On average, a woman can expect 14 months of lactation amenorrhea if she nurses in a way that prolongs amenorrhea (nursing on cue, nursing at night, nursing instead of pacifier use, etc.). So between nursing and pregnancy, a woman could expect about 2 years of not being subjected to estrogen for every child they have, although this number varies widely. Historically, women did not get female cancers, because they lived this pattern of pregnancy/lactation amenorrhea/cycle/pregnancy… It is only now, as we shun traditional practices that regulate fertility, that women have to worry about estrogen-receptive cancer.

Lactation amenorrhea is not something to be dismissed lightly because it’s simply too tiring.

 

[PrayHarder]

OP here. This thread is taking some interesting turns but has been very informative. My main take away from all of this is that a 6 month old sleeping in only 2 hour stretches isn’t that abnormal. I was freaked out by a lot of the baby sleep books and other baby development books I’ve read that made me believe that if my baby wasn’t doing certain things at certain times (like sleeping at longer intervals) that we were doing something wrong that would have side effects later on.

As many parents know, there are a lot of variables at play with a baby. We are now dealing with teething, introducing solids, and he’s making another developmental leap (for those who ascribe to the “Wonder Weeks” idea). He’s starting to get more mobile where he’s turning himself over. Basically, there is no “normal” as he’s changing every week. We try to stick to some basic rules (consistent nap times, bed time, feedings, etc.) but we can’t force him into doing certain things because it would be more convenient for us as parents. It’s an experiment to say the least where we just have to try things, see how they work out, and make adjustments as needed.

Despite our fears, his doctor says he looks healthy. He’s not showing any signs of being malnourished or sleep deprived. He wakes up in the morning as a happy little human despite his parents acting like the walking dead. We’ll get through it one way or another.

 

[Joe_5859]

OP here. This thread is taking some interesting turns but has been very informative. My main take away from all of this is that a 6 month old sleeping in only 2 hour stretches isn’t that abnormal. I was freaked out by a lot of the baby sleep books and other baby development books I’ve read that made me believe that if my baby wasn’t doing certain things at certain times (like sleeping at longer intervals) that we were doing something wrong that would have side effects later on.

As many parents know, there are a lot of variables at play with a baby. We are now dealing with teething, introducing solids, and he’s making another developmental leap (for those who ascribe to the “Wonder Weeks” idea). He’s starting to get more mobile where he’s turning himself over. Basically, there is no “normal” as he’s changing every week. We try to stick to some basic rules (consistent nap times, bed time, feedings, etc.) but we can’t force him into doing certain things because it would be more convenient for us as parents. It’s an experiment to say the least where we just have to try things, see how they work out, and make adjustments as needed.

Despite our fears, his doctor says he looks healthy. He’s not showing any signs of being malnourished or sleep deprived. He wakes up in the morning as a happy little human despite his parents acting like the walking dead. We’ll get through it one way or another.

You are growing in wisdom.

Yeah, those baby books can be a mixed blessing. It’s great to have more information, but the temptation to constantly be comparing our kids to some “standard” can be dangerous.

 

[Cat]

Um, did you even look at my resources?

"The peak incidence of SIDS is around three months, which coincides with the time most babies begin to sleep “better,” that is, to spend a larger percentage of sleep time in quiet sleep. During quiet sleep, infants are less responsive to the breathing-stimulating effects of low oxygen and increased carbon dioxide (Harper 1982).

In addition, studies of near-miss infants and siblings of SIDS infants show that these babies have fewer night-waking episodes. In the first few months, infants normally have frequent periods of night-waking as they ascend from quiet sleep to active sleep and back into quiet sleep. Researchers have suggested that arousal from sleep may be essential for resumption of breathing in babies who have less effective self-starting mechanisms (Harper 1981). Difficulty with waking up may place infants at higher risk for SIDS. Infants presumed to be at high risk for SIDS also show more frequent episodes of sleep apnea and periodic breathing (Guillemmault 1981). This apnea occurs most frequently between 1:00 AM and 6:00 AM and within ten minutes of awakening. The infants who woke most often at night had fewer episodes of apnea. Active sleep guards against SIDS. Sleep studies have shown that the onset of active sleep (REM sleep) stimulates breathing and heart rate. On the basis of their studies, researchers hypothesized that active sleep “protects” human infants from SIDS. The peak risk period for SIDS coincides with the rapid decrease in active sleep between two and three months of age. By six months of age, cardiopulmonary compensatory mechanisms in quiet sleep are more mature and the risk of death (from failure of these mechanisms) is reduced (Baker and McGinty 1977).

In other words, infants are not designed to sleep through the night until they’re mature enough to do so safely." (Article)

I’m sorry, but you can’t argue with basic biology. Night-waking is a hard-wired biological response that protects against SIDS. I, for one, am not about to short-circuit nature’s SIDS prevention in order to rely on a trade organizations suggestions just so I don’t get fat. And having been there twice, I find your insistence that having a baby who wakes during the night is critically dangerous a little overblown. Come on. If you don’t sleep train your baby you might as well be driving drunk?

And by the way, the obesity studies found that long-term, chronic sleeplessness (as in years of suffering from insomnia) was linked to obesity, due to exposure to artificial light and the disruption of circadian rythyms. Not short-term frequent night-waking.

I’ve checked out several SIDS websites, some scientific (from medical facilities and organizations), and some more personal (support groups, etc.).

None of the research you refer to appears on these websites.

This leads me to believe that the research you posted is still under review by the scientific establishment, and is not “basic biology” at all, but merely a theory.

I’m not saying it’s not true. I certainly don’t place total confidence in science just because it’s science. There are a lot of unproven theories, and many of them are probably true.

But I do find it odd that organizations and parent groups dedicated to preventing the tragedy of SIDS don’t at least mention the theory that babies who wake frequently are less likely to die of SIDS.

What all of these websites did say was “Babies who co-sleep are more likely to die of SIDS.”

My point–we can find “scientific studies” to prove pretty much anything we want to believe.

I suggest that the OP and his wife talk to real people in their parish, neighborhood, or workplaces who have raised healthy babies. They will receive a spectrum of opinions and advice about sleep patterns in infants, and be able to pick and choose which adivce seems to be a “best fit” for their own situation. They will also find that making friends with other couples, both older and younger, is a wonderful “support system” throughout the delightful child-rearing years.

I also suggest that the OP and his wife talk to their pediatrician. Pediatricians have the advantage of being privy to all the latest studies and research, as well as the experience working with thousands of babies. They will have a good perspective on what’s healthy and what’s not healthy for baby and parents.

 

[KellyPalmer]

The sources are sited on that article.

 

[KellyPalmer]

OP here. This thread is taking some interesting turns but has been very informative. My main take away from all of this is that a 6 month old sleeping in only 2 hour stretches isn’t that abnormal. I was freaked out by a lot of the baby sleep books and other baby development books I’ve read that made me believe that if my baby wasn’t doing certain things at certain times (like sleeping at longer intervals) that we were doing something wrong that would have side effects later on.

As many parents know, there are a lot of variables at play with a baby. We are now dealing with teething, introducing solids, and he’s making another developmental leap (for those who ascribe to the “Wonder Weeks” idea). He’s starting to get more mobile where he’s turning himself over. Basically, there is no “normal” as he’s changing every week. We try to stick to some basic rules (consistent nap times, bed time, feedings, etc.) but we can’t force him into doing certain things because it would be more convenient for us as parents. It’s an experiment to say the least where we just have to try things, see how they work out, and make adjustments as needed.

Despite our fears, his doctor says he looks healthy. He’s not showing any signs of being malnourished or sleep deprived. He wakes up in the morning as a happy little human despite his parents acting like the walking dead. We’ll get through it one way or another.

You’re are doing a great job!

 

[Sarabande]

**Night waking (especially to feed) is not a matter of opinion. It is biological fact that a baby should wake during the night to feed. ** Even if a mother is exhausted, a baby should not be encouraged to sleep all night long. God would not have designed babies to need to wake during the night to feed if it was going to be too difficult to manage for the mother. I myself have been there, twice, and while I agree that the exhaustion was worse than the pregnancy, labor, and birth combined (and multiplied by 5!), you get over it.

I think we have to take into account the differences in each baby rather than saying that every baby should wake during the night. There are many babies who need to feed during the night and there are those who don’t, especially after the 3-4 month stage. The pediatricians I’ve dealt with do encourage mothers to wake their babies up early on, but once they get to the 4-6 month stage to let them sleep, if they are receiving sufficient and proper nourishment.

My younger child will be 6 months soon and his main food source is breast milk. I just started some solids with him. He has been sleeping through the night (11-12 hours) since about 3-4 months, although sometimes he has gotten up in the middle of the night to feed and I realize that it was due to growth spurts. Most of the time he sleeps between 6:30 p.m. to 6:30 a.m., though. My doctor says this is fine because he is practically off the charts with weight and growth. She actually once asked me if I was feeding the kid milkshakes. lol! My daughter was the same way. She started formula earlier because she weaned herself off at 4 months against my desires to nurse her, but she was also an all night sleeper from about the same age.

I think it might be hereditary because my mother says that I and my siblings also had the same sleep patterns as babies. We’d sleep even longer, in fact. At first she was nervous and kept waking us up (she was a nurse and also worked in the neo-natal unit for a while, so she knew a lot about babies and premies), but after speaking with doctors and reading up herself, she also learned that as long as the babies were receiving enough nourishment, they were fine. And we were very well-fed, always close to or off the charts… it was just the make-up of our own bodies and probably why we didn’t need to wake up to feed during the night. We weren’t “trained” to sleep through the night, nor did I “train” my kids to sleep through the night. It was how we were wired.

So, although I don’t question the findings of the studies, it shouldn’t be “All babies” have to be handled this way. We really need to go with what our own individual baby needs and what our pediatrician suggests for our babies since. If the baby needs to wake in the middle of the night to feed, then do it. If the baby doesn’t and is getting enough nourishment, there isn’t anything wrong with that either.

For the OP, I feel for you and your wife’s situation. I can imagine how that must be for the two of you. I know it isn’t easy. It may seem like an eternity, but it will be gone before you know it. You received a lot good advice on here, too, on how to handle it.

 

[mt_gooseberry]

I think we have to take into account the differences in each baby rather than saying that every baby should wake during the night. There are many babies who need to feed during the night and there are those who don’t, especially after the 3-4 month stage. The pediatricians I’ve dealt with do encourage mothers to wake their babies up early on, but once they get to the 4-6 month stage to let them sleep, if they are receiving sufficient and proper nourishment.

My younger child will be 6 months soon and his main food source is breast milk. I just started some solids with him. He has been sleeping through the night (11-12 hours) since about 3-4 months, although sometimes he has gotten up in the middle of the night to feed and I realize that it was due to growth spurts. Most of the time he sleeps between 6:30 p.m. to 6:30 a.m., though. My doctor says this is fine because he is practically off the charts with weight and growth. She actually once asked me if I was feeding the kid milkshakes. lol! My daughter was the same way. She started formula earlier because she weaned herself off at 4 months against my desires to nurse her, but she was also an all night sleeper from about the same age.

I think it might be hereditary because my mother says that I and my siblings also had the same sleep patterns as babies. We’d sleep even longer, in fact. At first she was nervous and kept waking us up (she was a nurse and also worked in the neo-natal unit for a while, so she knew a lot about babies and premies), but after speaking with doctors and reading up herself, she also learned that as long as the babies were receiving enough nourishment, they were fine. And we were very well-fed, always close to or off the charts… it was just the make-up of our own bodies and probably why we didn’t need to wake up to feed during the night. We weren’t “trained” to sleep through the night, nor did I “train” my kids to sleep through the night. It was how we were wired.

So, although I don’t question the findings of the studies, it shouldn’t be “All babies” have to be handled this way. We really need to go with what our own individual baby needs and what our pediatrician suggests for our babies since. If the baby needs to wake in the middle of the night to feed, then do it. If the baby doesn’t and is getting enough nourishment, there isn’t anything wrong with that either.

For the OP, I feel for you and your wife’s situation. I can imagine how that must be for the two of you. I know it isn’t easy. It may seem like an eternity, but it will be gone before you know it. You received a lot good advice on here, too, on how to handle it.

You are correct that SOME babies do naturally sleep through the night. I should have phrased my assertion better. I was responding to a previous poster’s insistance that most babies naturally sleep through the night and those that don’t would benefit from sleep-training.

Honestly, I’ve studied both sides of the equation: the AAP’s and the AP community’s. When it comes to sleep and many other issues, the suggestions that are backed most strongly by my mothering instinct are the AP assertions. Ultimately, I feel that I have to go with my instinct, because as Cat says, for every scientific study you can find one that says the opposite, and for every personal anecdote, you can find one where the opposite happened.

 

[Cat]

You are correct that SOME babies do naturally sleep through the night. I should have phrased my assertion better. I was responding to a previous poster’s insistance that most babies naturally sleep through the night and those that don’t would benefit from sleep-training.

Honestly, I’ve studied both sides of the equation: the AAP’s and the AP community’s. When it comes to sleep and many other issues, the suggestions that are backed most strongly by my mothering instinct are the AP assertions. Ultimately, I feel that I have to go with my instinct, because as Cat says, for every scientific study you can find one that says the opposite, and for every personal anecdote, you can find one where the opposite happened.

And I agree with you that moms and dads should go with instinct.

I think that we have to be very careful when giving young parents the impression that it is their “duty” to be exhausted zombies, or that they are doing something harmful to their babies by trying to train them to sleep for longer intervals.

There are other alternatives that parents can try, and I’m not talking about letting a baby cry hopelessly alone in his/her dark crib. I think that exhausted parents should feel free to try the alternatives, and if they work, hallelujah! If they don’t work, wait a while and try again.

We also have to be aware that, in the same way that all babies are different, so are all parents. Some women can do very well on reduced sleep, and actually get mellow. But other women cannot function. I’m not exaggerating when I say “cannot function.” To tell a woman who can’t function without sleep that she must go without sleep is just not a good thing for either mom or baby.

Same for co-sleeping. This works well for some women, but other women find themselves unable to fall into a deep sleep, and they are even more exhausted co-sleeping. And some women and their husbands simply find the idea of sharing the bed with a child not acceptable–I would put myself and my husband into that category. It doesn’t sound sweet to me–it sounds weird. But I recognize that others, including families and relatives that I know, absolutely love having a family bed.

As I said, all grownups are different.

Finally, we must always remember that the majority of women in the U.S. find themselves working outside the home, including while they are raising babies and toddlers. This is really, really tough. But it’s reality. Most of these women must train their babies to sleep for at least one long stretch because they can’t work without adequate sleep. To allow the baby to keep them up all night for months on end is to court termination from a job which provides vital family income. Again, this is not the ideal, but it’s reality. IMO, to tell these moms that they are doing something harmful by training their babies to sleep is just not a good thing, especially when it’s not supported by a consensus of medical or anecdotal evidence.

 

[Sarabande]

You are correct that SOME babies do naturally sleep through the night. I should have phrased my assertion better. I was responding to a previous poster’s insistance that most babies naturally sleep through the night and those that don’t would benefit from sleep-training.

Honestly, I’ve studied both sides of the equation: the AAP’s and the AP community’s. When it comes to sleep and many other issues, the suggestions that are backed most strongly by my mothering instinct are the AP assertions. Ultimately, I feel that I have to go with my instinct, because as Cat says, for every scientific study you can find one that says the opposite, and for every personal anecdote, you can find one where the opposite happened.

Exactly. Thanks for further clarifying. Yes, following your mothering instincts is almost always the best. As we know, each baby is different. Some of the things I did with my daughter as a baby, I don’t do with my son because I follow the lead of the baby and what the baby needs. (Along with the fact that I’m a little better at what I’m doing the second time around. lol!)

 

[FullOfThought]

OP,
How did this situation end? I’m currently in the ‘zombie wife’ stage!
Thank you!

 

[PrayHarder]

OP,
How did this situation end? I’m currently in the ‘zombie wife’ stage!
Thank you!

Things sorted themself out in the end. As he grew bigger and started moving and eating more he also started sleeping longer. He still wakes up at least once an evening for milk (he’s 16 months old now btw), but it’s pretty manageable. We wake up, feed him, and put him down in about 20 minutes. We stopped breast feeding at one year (actually, the supply dried up) and went to whole milk from a bottle. That made the whole process much faster and easier. However, I heard that if you’re breast feeding, keep it up for at least a year.

We still have some rough nights. Something always comes up – teething, stomach ache, too hot, too cold, gas, leaking diaper, etc. But I hear it’s always like that – one challenge ends and another one begins. But on average, it got a lot better. But it seems like it was more our little one just finding his natural rythm. Maybe the sleep training advice played a small role, but I would say 90% of the change came from our little one’s physical and mental development.

The best advice I can give you is to stick it out and try different strategies and see what sticks. You may also want to check out books on “sleep timing” so you know the best times to try sleep training techniques. At certain times, babies aren’t as receptive to sleep training because of their mental development. Good luck!

 

[PrayHarder]

Oh yeah, I remembered one more thing. We bought a softer crib mattress and that seemed to make a difference. So many baby mattresses are so stiff and our little one didn’t like that. We bought a mattress that had a firm side and a soft side. Maybe it was a coincedence, but his sleep did improve after that.