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kage_ar
Guest
I wondered the same thing - it does not google
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aj10
Guest
14 year olds are very idealistic and easily manipulated with shallow arguments. I would avoid putting her in a corner that promotes rebellion, but instead, step by step explore her beliefs Socratically. Guide her into truth. God Bless.
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Grace_Angel
Guest
Hello Pammie,
I have been through that stage with early teenagers and yes part of the formulation of her statements is for shock value and she did achieve the desired outcome. However, ask her “darling what exactly do YOU see abortion as. please explain it to me” and I humbly suggest that she will not have a clear understanding of what abortion is. Then it is up to you to explain exactly what abortion it. i.e the killing of a living baby in its early developmental stage. During its formation.
Children of this age are very idealistic and she would hate to have described to her the killing of a baby. You see the word “abortion” brings to mind no imagery. But “killing a tiny baby” brings to mind images. I did this with my four treasures and today they are rabidly prolife. Re homosexuality the same treatment, step by step. about the holiness of the body. the holiness of sexuality. sexuality which co operates with God in the creation of a new creature. that homosexuality is not open tolife and it cannot be open to life because there is not the makings for life.
Without ever putting anyone down and helping her to get her back up, you put the truth to her in a step by step fashion and with great love and speak about these topics regularly (when driving in car-captive audience) so that it is not a once off situation but knowledge deeply etched into her being so that she can defend her stance if need be.
God Bless your endeavours.
GraceAngel.
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Filius99993
Guest
Well, if it weren’t for the Atheism factor and Divini Redemptoris… well…
I don’t think that the things that Communist countries have done are correct and moral, but it’s not a bad idea. Then again, I am a teenager.
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monicatholic
Guest
it’s not just daughters. sons love this code red stuff, too.
when our (currently still very wayard) son was 12, his dad and i were having a hair-standing-up moment (which is a significant feat for a bald guy) listening to our kid expound on “why all rules are stupid.”
we were just about to blow our collective stacks when GoodHusband asked to speak to me out of the room. in private, he said, “Look. i get the feeling that all this guy wants is for us to act like idiots. then he gets to tell himself, ‘look at these idiots. they must be wrong.’ let’s not act like idiots. let’s not make it too easy for him to ignore us.”
that was a most brilliant thing and we started practicing it that day and since with subsequent teens. turns out, it’s a way to let us all save face.
SaidKid is still very wayward and a heartbreak, BUT (and this is a VERY big thing) he knows we love him-- KNOWS we love him as we’ve always treated him with respect, met his terrible thinking with gentle loving truth, we always have met his self-destructive behavior with prayer and kindness and offers of help and resources.
so, though we have one very wayward kid, all our teens have tried this to some extent. we are happy to report (and add our voices to the turned-out-fine folks who’ve responded to this thread) this behavior does not necessarilly indicate a future apostate/criminal/sniper/gun-running public enemy.
when our (currently still very wayard) son was 12, his dad and i were having a hair-standing-up moment (which is a significant feat for a bald guy) listening to our kid expound on “why all rules are stupid.”
we were just about to blow our collective stacks when GoodHusband asked to speak to me out of the room. in private, he said, “Look. i get the feeling that all this guy wants is for us to act like idiots. then he gets to tell himself, ‘look at these idiots. they must be wrong.’ let’s not act like idiots. let’s not make it too easy for him to ignore us.”
that was a most brilliant thing and we started practicing it that day and since with subsequent teens. turns out, it’s a way to let us all save face.
SaidKid is still very wayward and a heartbreak, BUT (and this is a VERY big thing) he knows we love him-- KNOWS we love him as we’ve always treated him with respect, met his terrible thinking with gentle loving truth, we always have met his self-destructive behavior with prayer and kindness and offers of help and resources.
so, though we have one very wayward kid, all our teens have tried this to some extent. we are happy to report (and add our voices to the turned-out-fine folks who’ve responded to this thread) this behavior does not necessarilly indicate a future apostate/criminal/sniper/gun-running public enemy.
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pammie
Guest
Originally, I felt like an idiot in the car–I didn’t say much because I didn’t really know what to say at the time and the fact that my heart had stopped beating made it difficult to breath!!!
Fast forward to today at lunch after 12N Mass. My dh, myself and our 3 kids, 2 of which are younger than my 13 yr old, were having a nice meal. Out of the blue, dd brings up abortion and once again questions why it should be allowed. She then proceeded to tell us that she would never consider it an option for herself but worries that it should be allowed in certain circumstances. She was very serious and was truly looking for answers. My husband and I took the time to discuss the issue with her and acknowledged that it is a very complex and personal issue. We told her that we understood her wanting to talk about it and also talked about options. We all acknowledged that the best thing to do would be to NEVER allow herself to get into the situation in the first place. She agreed. It was calm and productive. She is really trying to understand these issues in her own mind–which is a good thing. We discussed the reasons for the Catholic position on abortion but no fire and brimstone–it was all good.
I felt very prepared to talk with her thanks to all the wonderful advice/suggestions and reassurance I received from each and everyone who responded to my original post. The most important thing for me to understand was that this was not necessarily her viewpoint but her way of testing out our beliefs and finding information. She also seriously tested my cardiac status and I am happy to be alive to talk about it!!! God bless all parents of teens!
Fast forward to today at lunch after 12N Mass. My dh, myself and our 3 kids, 2 of which are younger than my 13 yr old, were having a nice meal. Out of the blue, dd brings up abortion and once again questions why it should be allowed. She then proceeded to tell us that she would never consider it an option for herself but worries that it should be allowed in certain circumstances. She was very serious and was truly looking for answers. My husband and I took the time to discuss the issue with her and acknowledged that it is a very complex and personal issue. We told her that we understood her wanting to talk about it and also talked about options. We all acknowledged that the best thing to do would be to NEVER allow herself to get into the situation in the first place. She agreed. It was calm and productive. She is really trying to understand these issues in her own mind–which is a good thing. We discussed the reasons for the Catholic position on abortion but no fire and brimstone–it was all good.
I felt very prepared to talk with her thanks to all the wonderful advice/suggestions and reassurance I received from each and everyone who responded to my original post. The most important thing for me to understand was that this was not necessarily her viewpoint but her way of testing out our beliefs and finding information. She also seriously tested my cardiac status and I am happy to be alive to talk about it!!! God bless all parents of teens!
T
twk001
Guest
Mom- I am only 32 and I certainly remember those days of pushing the buttoms and the limits with my mom. Let me suggest what she did…she knew that I just “worshiped” a good friend of hers who was also a mom and a good Catholic. She was quite young herself. Mom called her and filled her in about a lot of the issues that I had and although Mom certainly felt capable, she asked this friend if she would take me out for a girls lunch (I learned all this later). So a couple of days later, she called and took me to lunch and shopping. While out and about, we talked about all of those “things” that I had issues with, and even though she shared the same morals and values of my own mom and dad, it took somebody else talking about it with me for me to actually see. Turns out, Mom is always right. I really respect her more for it now. she took the high road and didn’t ignore me OR scream and holler. I know now that she handled it perfectly. I’m just waiting for DD (4 yrs old) to hit these same walls. twk
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