9 pregnancies in 10 years; 7 c-sections, considering tubal ligation

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They are in VERY limited areas. Not feasable for many families.

What you might do is talk to a local group (Catholic Daughters, Knights of Columbus, etc.) about having a fundraiser to help you get a van.
 
I am not in your shoes so I do not think that I should comment even though I have an opinion but for someone who has a medical condition that makes pregnancy dangerous, as in life threatening, but still continues to practice NFP look up Jennifer Fulwiler.
She recently wrote a book entitle “One Beautiful Dream”, she has a radio show and a blog.
Keep praying.
 
The 3 oldest have to clean their rooms, bring their laundry down, take it back up, and put it away - weekly. They also earn money for taking out the trash and emptying the dishwasher. They also have to help clean up the play room/library/living room every Saturday and then earn money if they take the extra step to vacuum. Most of the time they choose not to vacuum. If I have to ask them too many times to do the dishwasher or garbages, they still have to do them, they just don’t earn money. The 3 and 4 yr old help pick up toys and are working towards helping with their laundry.
It sounds like you have a good chore system in place. I admire you for being so organized. My wife and I only have four kids, and we are not as organized with chores as you seem to be, even though most of our kids are older than yours.
 
I have resources for mother’s helpers, but not the money to pay them. We have to figure out how to afford a new vehicle to transport our large family so no extra money for extra help.
Just an idea, and I’m not sure if it is a good one or not: I wonder if you could start a GoFundMe campaign, and mention it here on the forums. Catholic Answers might have a rule against that, but I looked through the forum rules, and I didn’t see one. (There is a rule against commercial solicitation, but I don’t think that this would qualify as commercial.) I don’t think you could raise nearly enough for a van, but maybe you would at least raise enough to pay for a few babysitter / mother’s helper sessions. Every little bit helps.

But do check the forum rules carefully, if you consider doing this. It’s not my intention to encourage you to break any forum rules. Maybe other posters here can share if they know that this is against the rules, or if they think it sets a bad precedent.
 
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Is your doctor concerned about the number of C-sections over 9 years? Has he/she mentioned it would be unwise health wise to continue to have C-sections?

This may be a good time to have a good long talk with your OB about these health concerns. Then have a long talk with your priest.
 
The OB I had with #2-4 told me to stop after 4 because the risks increase “dramatically” with each c-section thereafter. I changed OB’s for #5, miscarriages, #6 and now I’m with a new OB. Obviously there is still concern about continuing to have more c-sections because my risks continue to increase. But he understands that each body is different and he can’t say how many more kids I could have if I wanted to. But my mental state CAN’T take anymore! I want to get past the baby stage and get my energy back so I can start enjoying and caring for the children that I have instead of just struggling to keep my head above water with all the household/mothering chores.
We talked to our priest when we were pregnant with #3 and all he said was “follow your conscience”.
We have determined that a tubal is no longer an option, but I am praying that there will be a need for a hysterectomy without deathly consequences to me or baby because I really don’t trust us following NFP.
 
I think revisiting this with your priest now would be helpful. There is a significant increase of risk to your health at #7.

Why have you taken tubal ligation off the table, if I may ask? I get the Church teaching on this issue appears to be very black & white, but a long discussion with your priest could be helpful.

While pregnant with my last, my doctor told me it would be wise to not attempt another pregnancy as that one was difficult. After a very traumatic delivery where my son was seconds from not being a live birth, I agreed to a tubal. I was in my mid twenties at the time. I wasn’t Catholic at the time so that wasn’t an issue for me. I also had natural births with no drugs or an epidural.
 
We contacted the director of Family Life for our diocese and between his response and other sites I researched, like this one - A Future Pregnancy Would Be Too Risky We determined that it would not be moral for us to go through with the tubal procedure, no matter how bad I wanted it or thought we were justified to have it done.
So now we hope for a need for a hysterectomy or hope that we have enough discipline to follow NFP/abstaining for the rest of my fertile years.
I am a convert of 5 years and I almost wish I wasn’t Catholic so I wouldn’t have to follow these teachings, but it’s too late now.
 
Hugs again. I am so sorry that you hit that “NFP makes happy puppies and butterflies and rainbows” crowd.

Abstaining is hard. Sacrifice is hard.

This book takes a real world, compassionate look at living Catholic marriage when you have to abstain. It is only $5 on Kindle.

 
But my mental state CAN’T take anymore! I want to get past the baby stage and get my energy back so I can start enjoying and caring for the children that I have instead of just struggling to keep my head above water with all the household/mothering chores.
I know how you feel. And I understand that for health reasons and for considerations of how much you can handle, it would be prudent to avoid another pregnancy, at least for a considerable length of time, and maybe forever.

However, my wife and I have four children. We are well past the baby stage, and we are starting to see the going-away-to-college stage on the horizon. We miss the baby stage. I see families with little ones, and it makes me sad that we may never have a baby or a toddler again. I know that you are too stressed and too overwhelmed for me to tell you to enjoy this stage now. But just keep in mind that at some point, you may miss this stage, and that this stage won’t last forever. Parenting is difficult now, probably very difficult. But it won’t be like this forever.
 
NFP may not work perfectly for you but you may get some time to recover more between births.
 
We determined that it would not be moral for us to go through with the tubal procedure, no matter how bad I wanted it or thought we were justified to have it done.

So now we hope for a need for a hysterectomy or hope that we have enough discipline to follow NFP/abstaining for the rest of my fertile years.
You are choosing the harder road, but I think that you are choosing the right road. Remember Jesus’s teaching about entering through the narrow gate in Matthew 7:13-14. My wife and I will pray for you and your family.
 
If sterilization is out the choices are ABC which like NFP has a failure rate or abstinence of some form. Only the latter is approved by the Church. If full time abstinence is out NFP is an option. It worked for me for 17 years after my last kid. At least it would give her some time.
 
That it will. She will choose what is best for her. NFP failed a few times for me too. I will pray for her and her family.
 
My cousin is an OBGYN. The scars don’t heal fully until 2 years. There’s literally no way for you to know if your scars actually healed.
It’s take the female body 2 years to recover from pregnancy and childbirth, so yes, a strain is put on your body when you have children so close together; though women have been doing it since the dawn of time. They also died younger, sometimes in childbirth.

I would have a chat with my priest and my husband.

I have to say I’m amazed that either you you has the time or the ENERGY for sex with the size of your family.

I also second the suggestions about putting the older littles to work. Whether they want to do the chores or not, they are members of the family, and thus, they need to have some rsponsibilities assigned to them, even if it’s just emptying the dishwasher and putting the trash out. Every little bit will help. Even 3 year olds can fold laundry (BUT, you can’t criticize if they don’t fold the way you want…you just have to put it in the drawer and move on).

Best of Luck to you, I only have one child (2 pregnancies), so I actually sort of envy you!
 
NFP has not worked for her. 9 pregnancies in 10 years. And she apparently tried her very best. I know it has worked for some here, but clearly not for the OP.
The OP said that they “tried but were not successful” at using NFP, and said that she did not like having to time intercourse or only be intimate on days that it was the least desirable. Considering that postpartum is the most difficult time to interpret fertility signs, and with nine pregnancies in ten years, that doesn’t actually leave much, if any, time to actually learn the methods effectively.

Typically learning a method requires a degree of abstinence that is often difficult, but that’s how it is if you want to avoid and actually master the method. Lots of people end up with “what the heck” babies, taking more risky chances than a method allows. That’s not a failure of NFP.
 
Indeed, this quote
So now we hope for a need for a hysterectomy or hope that we have enough discipline to follow NFP/abstaining for the rest of my fertile years.
also implies that it was more a willpower fail than not correctly tracking her fertility.
 
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