A different hand-holding tale

[St_Aloysius]

While I get that holding hands isn’t prescribed by the rubrics (or even necessarily encouraged), it’s not condemned as a violation. It’s cultural. You can go to Masses around the world, in the remotest African jungles to the Hawaiian Islands, and find similar trends that do not in and of themselves violate the Mass–but can even be positive, reminding (as in the case of holding hands) the faithful of the communal aspect of worship.

If someone wants to hold hands during the Our Father (which is most of the time, especially as I usually sit with a friend’s family at the Youth Mass), then I’m fine with that. Equally so (okay, I might at time prefer it), I like to fold my hands respectfully and savor the prayer as an intimate, personal experience with God. (That’s probably because when I first started going to Mass, being raised in a Baptist home, I went alone and didn’t know anyone, so it was a profoundly personal experience.)

It’s no vice to hold hands. In a lot of cases, it’s the charitable thing to do, rather than “glaring” at someone, giving them the steak eye, etc., till they get the message.

 

[GemmaRose]

While I get that holding hands isn’t prescribed by the rubrics (or even necessarily encouraged), it’s not condemned as a violation. It’s cultural. You can go to Masses around the world, in the remotest African jungles to the Hawaiian Islands, and find similar trends that do not in and of themselves violate the Mass–but can even be positive, reminding (as in the case of holding hands) the faithful of the communal aspect of worship…

It’s no vice to hold hands. In a lot of cases, it’s the charitable thing to do, rather than “glaring” at someone, giving them the steak eye, etc., till they get the message.

Another consideration for those who insist that holding hands “is not in the rubrics” - most people don’t know what is or is not in the rubrics. I was discussing this thread with a friend the other day, and he said, “What’s a rubric?”

If holding hands is not a violation, then why such an uproar over it? The Church has already taken culture into account (e.g., dancing in African liturgies), probably way before we started holding hands here.

The Mass is NOT ours to diddle around with as we please. It belongs to St. Paul, St. Peter, St. Augustine, St. Pio, St. Theresa, St. Elizabeth Seton, and so forth. It belongs to my great great great grandparents and yours (assuming some are cradle Catholics on this thread).

This argument makes no sense. If the Mass belongs to the Saints and to our great great great grandparents, then it belongs to us also… or are the Saints and our grandparents part of the Church and we somehow are not?

The deficiency with the hand-holding issue is that we tend to see it only in the horizontal, leaving out the vertical element of the prayer. We only concern ourselves with the warm, living bodies that are inside the building and ignore the deeper, spiritual and vertical aspect of the prayer. We forget that we are joined by the Church Triumphant and the Church Suffering.

Yet those who recognize the vertical element and wish to pray using the Orans position are condemned.

---

*“I wish that my heart could beat, that I could live and breathe only for Jesus, I wish that my tongue could utter no other name than that of Jesus; that my eye could see only Jesus; that my pen could write only about Jesus, and that my thoughts could soar to nothing but Jesus. I have often wondered where on earth there might be something on which I could center my love. But neither on earth nor in heaven do I find any such thing but only my beloved Jesus… I am the fruit of your passion, Jesus, born of your wounds. O Jesus, seek me in love; I no longer possess anything; you have stolen my heart…” *- St. Gemma Galgani

 

[anamchara]

I am neutral on hand-holding, and would only change that position if the Church officially banned it (which I don’t think it has and if it did, please, someone correct me). If someone reaches for my hand, in Christian charity I offer it. If someone does not, I take no offense and also in Christian charity give to that person the freedom of their desired prayer position.

But what amuses me about so many rabid anti-hand-holding posts that I have read in so many threads and forums is this:

What part of OUR Father don’t we understand???

I am in 100% agreement with you. You said it better than I would have!

 

[benedictgal]

If holding hands is not a violation, then why such an uproar over it? The Church has already taken culture into account (e.g., dancing in African liturgies), probably way before we started holding hands here.

This argument makes no sense. If the Mass belongs to the Saints and to our great great great grandparents, then it belongs to us also… or are the Saints and our grandparents part of the Church and we somehow are not?

Yet those who recognize the vertical element and wish to pray using the Orans position are condemned.

First of all, I never said anything about the Orans posture. Please re-read my post. It is the hand-holding issue that is being discussed here.

Second, the Mass does not belong to you nor to me. It is what the Church has received from our Lord. We don’t have the right to tinker around with it as we please. That means we have no right to introduce novelty and personal idiosyncracies into the Mass.

 

[Jimsdun]

I am neutral on hand-holding, and would only change that position if the Church officially banned it (which I don’t think it has and if it did, please, someone correct me). If someone reaches for my hand, in Christian charity I offer it. If someone does not, I take no offense and also in Christian charity give to that person the freedom of their desired prayer position.

But what amuses me about so many rabid anti-hand-holding posts that I have read in so many threads and forums is this:

What part of OUR Father don’t we understand???

---

*“I wish that my heart could beat, that I could live and breathe only for Jesus, I wish that my tongue could utter no other name than that of Jesus; that my eye could see only Jesus; that my pen could write only about Jesus, and that my thoughts could soar to nothing but Jesus. I have often wondered where on earth there might be something on which I could center my love. But neither on earth nor in heaven do I find any such thing but only my beloved Jesus… I am the fruit of your passion, Jesus, born of your wounds. O Jesus, seek me in love; I no longer possess anything; you have stolen my heart…” *- St. Gemma Galgani

Just another thought.

I am not pro- or anti- hand holding, but something I thought of.

Today I returned to visit my old parish. Although they hold hands there, they don’t force anyone who doesn’t want to. At my current parish (which I am seriously considering leaving) they FORCE everyone to hold hands during the Our Father.

That being said, as I was at mass today, they don’t force hand holding. When you sit too far away from your nearest neighbor to hold hands without awkwardly reaching out, I decline holding hands. However, those in attendance aren’t the only ones we are in communion with. What about the “Communion of Saints” Those who have gone before us? I like to think that the Church Triumphant are joining us each week at mass. Maybe they are filling in the gaps where hands don’t reach.

 

[Sheeniac]

This argument makes no sense. If the Mass belongs to the Saints and to our great great great grandparents, then it belongs to us also… or are the Saints and our grandparents part of the Church and we somehow are not?

It’s been answered better by others, but to expand on this… It is a treasure that we all share in. The only ones who should be changing it are the Pope, or the Pope in union with the Magisterium. Not you, not me, not your parish, not my diocese, etc.

They have the authority to guide/develop the liturgy, WE do not. I find the argument ‘but its our culture’ to be silly, because it so obviously isn’t. Or else, we wouldn’t have all of this bickering back and forth about it.

So those who are trying to introduce (from the grassroots) a change in the participation of the laity in the liturgy are the ones who are claiming it is natural. Ehhh… I don’t buy it. So why persist in advocating this? Because it ‘feels good’?

Perhaps it does - perhaps it feels as natural as can be. That simply isn’t a good reason based on my explicit statements above. I have no wish to insult you - I just find your reasoning for your positions lacking.

 

[trobinson017]

Thankfully no one has bothered my wife or I when we fold our hands and bow our heads for the Our Father even though most everyone else holds hands. These are the same people who don’t bow during the one part of the Profession of Faith where even in the missalette it says “bow” with a brace showing which words to bow for. I’ve even seen people looking at us funny when we raise up from the bow. I admit I have some very uncharitable thoughts about Catholics who don’t even know proper liturgical posture and action. I pray for them all.

We’ve recently left our first parish in our new town because of the silliness of how they celebrate Mass. Lots of hand clapping during songs, some Masses have a band complete with drummer, the priest conducts the Homily like a Jay Leno monologue and CCD class combined, among other things. The last straw was when the pastor sent a letter to all parishioners that he was going to have a movie screen and projector installed in the church to show words to songs and religious imagery during Mass. We now go to the cathedral which is better but still not what it should be.

I miss our parish from our previous town. Very, very Catholic. Nobody held hands, nobody clapped, everyone bowed during the PoF, some women wore head veils, everyone dressed in their best clothing (even the teens!) and the Homilies were very good relating to the Gospel or to remind people of the sinfulness of abortion, divorce, ignoring the poor, etc. That parish is the only reason we’d move back there. It was a blessing to have spent several years there.

Pax Christi,

trob

 

[trobinson017]

My understanding of the “legality” of hand holding during the Our Father is that, although not specifically banned, it has been erroneously added to the liturgy by popular act. This in itself is forbidden. Nothing may be added or taken away from the liturgy by anyone. Just because everyone does it does not make it right, no matter how warm and fuzzy it makes you feel. How the liturgy is conducted is not up to the will of the people but the Magisterium, to which we are to be wholly and completely loyal. Since there’s just far too many things that would compose a list of banned acts the “rule” is simply to not add anything.

I had a good web reference for the above but lost my bookmarks. I’ll try and locate it again.

trob

 

[trobinson017]

A couple of other points I haven’t seen made yet regarding hand holding during the Our Father:

1. The pinnacle of communal worship is the Eucharist. “Holding hands is an inappropriate “sign,” since Communion is the sign of intimacy. Thus, a gesture of intimacy is introduced both before the sign of reconciliation (the Sign of Peace), but more importantly, before Holy Communion, the sacramental sign of communion/intimacy within the People of God.” (from EWTN’s website)
2. The priest only needs one other person in order to conduct Mass. We are there to **assist **him as he offers the Sacrifice of the Mass. It is not “our” Mass. I learned this during training for Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist. I think it’s erroneous to call the Mass “communal worship” which conjures up images of Protestant revivals and leads people to engage in spontaneous actions such as hand holding.
3. Because not everyone does it and it’s not part of the rubrics it is an extremely divisive act, making it quite the opposite of what people say it does, that is, creating a feeling of community or “faith family”. I would think this alone would convince people to stop doing it. Those who do it are forcing a divide in their own parishes and potentially creating animosity. Definitely not a Christian thing to be doing.

Totus+Tuus,

trob

 

[Jean_Anthony]

Please, everyone, keep the discussion to the subject of the OP only. If you wish to discuss the rightness/wrongness of holding hands, please take such discussion to one of the many existing threads on the topic. Thank you all.

 

[GemmaRose]

I miss our parish from our previous town. Very, very Catholic. Nobody held hands…

So… someone who holds hands is not very, very Catholic?? Well, hold on, pardner… them could be fightin’ words!

So those who are trying to introduce (from the grassroots) a change in the participation of the laity in the liturgy are the ones who are claiming it is natural. Ehhh… I don’t buy it. So why persist in advocating this? Because it ‘feels good’?

I’m not sure if this was a general statement or not. If not, how am I advocating hand holding when I’ve said in several posts that I’m neutral on the subject?

My point is that Mass is not the time to cause anyone else any hard feelings, as can happen if one yanks his or her hand out of someone else’s hand. Accept the annoyance and offer it up. Likewise for a diehard hand-holder. If the person next to you does not want to, don’t force yourself on him or her. If it is disappointing to you, OFFER IT UP!

---

*“I wish that my heart could beat, that I could live and breathe only for Jesus, I wish that my tongue could utter no other name than that of Jesus; that my eye could see only Jesus; that my pen could write only about Jesus, and that my thoughts could soar to nothing but Jesus. I have often wondered where on earth there might be something on which I could center my love. But neither on earth nor in heaven do I find any such thing but only my beloved Jesus… I am the fruit of your passion, Jesus, born of your wounds. O Jesus, seek me in love; I no longer possess anything; you have stolen my heart…” *- St. Gemma Galgani

 

[Jean_Anthony]

This thread is closed. Thank you all for participating.