A drunk man smoking asked me for money for food and I did not give him any; wrong thing or proper judgement?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Gift_from_God
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
G

Gift_from_God

Guest
On Friday I was walking back to school from a book store when this guy who was clearly drunk and was smoking asked me for money, saying that he had not eaten for a couple of days. I did not give him any money, believing he was going to buy smokes and booze with it because let’s face it, he was already drunk and the price of a pack of cigarettes and beer can probably buy a meal from a fast food place. Was I in the wrong to do this or was my judgment proper?
 
You know, when we are called to charity, we must indeed be smart about it. I think you acted correctly in this situation. Now, if you had food, and the man was asking you to just buy him a cheap little meal, then you should buy him a meal.

That’s my stance on directly giving to the poor: Give food, water, clothing, aid. Don’t give money.
 
A while back I used to give bums money, I don’t do it anymore. If they need help they can get it from services designed especially for them and paid for with taxes.

I would bet that people who ask for money on the street are spending it on drugs/alcohol or similar.
 
This reminds me of something I read in the Didache about knowing where one’s alms are going.

I can’t think of the exact words; I don’t have the book in front of me.

OK, I just looked it up. “Let your alms sweat in your hands until you know to whom you should give.”
 
I always refer them to the local shelter and never give money unless they are obviously physically disabled (born with legs on backwards, etc.). We have a bum who “works” our church parking lot on Sunday morning. One family offered him a fresh pizza when he complained he was hungry and he threw it on the ground. It’s not right to be an accomplice in someone else’s sin…

There are some who don’t agree and give this guy money every Sunday. He has no incentive to get real help with his problem as long as he’s being enabled to stay drunk. I don’t think it’s the loving thing to do…
 
you may aswell just go buy him some more beer and another pack of smokes
 
A friend of mine worked in New York City for a while and was constantly approached by bums asking for money. He would save coupons for free food from restaurants and other places and hand them out when approached. He said the bums were usually disappointed and wouldn’t take the coupons. I think most wanted alcohol and drugs.

I’m also told by a social worker friend that most homeless people are well aware of places where they can get food, shelter, and assistance and that most who ask for money really will spend it on alcohol and drugs.

You are doing better not to help feed their addictions. Sometimes not helping is the best way to help.
 
You acted rightly. Once I was pulling onto an off ramp on the freeway and saw a homeless man swear at a driver who didn’t give him money. I have not forgotten that.

I think you can actually not only contribute to a drug habit, but put yourself in danger by giving money to a homeless person, unfortunately.

If you must do something, buy some food, and go back and give it to them (and make sure you are physically safe when you do that!). Then at least you know the money is going to nourish them.

But there is nothing wrong or un-Christian in protecting yourself. Perhaps more than money, the best you can offer is a silent prayer for the person to find their way out of poverty.
 
I know what you mean, last month we were in Philie for the flower show and we past a woman asking for money, and I SEEN HER, but I litterly walked by her and paid no attention. When we left that night to go home it really hit me hard what I had done, not the fact that I didn’t give her anything but that I delibertly walked by and avoided her!!! So bad that I wanted to go back to Philie (like a three hour drive) just to find her. Wife said “you wont find her” but they usually hang out at the same places and I waned to do the McGift card cause I dont want my money going to booz or smokes eather. Makes me a little more aware of how I give. On the flip side, I was standing outside of market with the Knights of Columbus asking for money too, but that was for the ARC association, strang acourence. your brother in Christ, gilbertt
 
RE OP - I would of done the same. If I at a fast food restaurant and someone asks for $$$ for food I will offer to buy them something but other than that, no.
 
On Friday I was walking back to school from a book store when this guy who was clearly drunk and was smoking asked me for money, saying that he had not eaten for a couple of days. I did not give him any money, believing he was going to buy smokes and booze with it because let’s face it, he was already drunk and the price of a pack of cigarettes and beer can probably buy a meal from a fast food place. Was I in the wrong to do this or was my judgment proper?
I used to belong to a downtown church, and the Priests always said, if you run across someone that says that they need money for food - do not give them money- if you want to help them…go buy them a burger or something and bring it to them. A truly hungry person will NOT turn down good food. Another thing I would do is to pray over the money in front of the guy asking the Lord to use the money for His purposes…it isn’t foolproof, but it will make it harder for the guy to go blow the money on booze and cigarettes. 😉
And, yes, I do know that that is using guilt…but someone once said…“guilt is what keeps us from going around killing each other indiscriminately!” 😃

As when dealing with any stranger on the street, always use prudence! 🙂

CC
[SIGN] I love my Papal Papa! [/SIGN]
 
What I would have done is I would have offered to take him to a fast food restaurant and buy him a meal. From now on, it might be a wise idea to keep some McDonalds gift certificates in your pocket/purse.
 
I used to belong to a downtown church, and the Priests always said, if you run across someone that says that they need money for food - do not give them money- if you want to help them…go buy them a burger or something and bring it to them. A truly hungry person will NOT turn down good food.

CC
[SIGN] I love my Papal Papa! [/SIGN]
Our bum actually “puts in his order” if you offer to buy him food. He’s very specific - “KFC and don’t forget to get me corn on the cob!” LOL! One of our people fell for it once - spent $30, so naturally he looked for her on Sunday. She says she learned her lesson.
🙂
 
A friend of mine used to live in Portland and her route to work took her past many “homeless” begging for money for “food” on the corners. She first felt bad for all of them and bought a stock of granola bars and similar food items she could keep in her car to hand out to them at the corners. They were mostly thrown back at her car.
 
I like the idea of having gift certificates ready for McDonalds for these occasions. Back in college, I used to take the homeless to McDonalds or my school cafeteria and would eat and talk with them. I heard some interesting stories from these guys (not all of which I believed) in exchange, but it was probably stupid to hang with them like that. The ones who I gave food often seemed genuinely hungry and grateful. Some of them have mental issues; I saw one guy once when walking back to my dorm on Sunday who was dragging a toy duck on a string behind him and shouting obscenities (and I mean really vile stuff) into the air at God.

My gf used to walk to the subway from Georgetown in DC after class. She would always pass this one guy who begged for money. She never gave him anything or approached him. One time, she was lucky enough to get close to him just as he was packing up for the day. He looked around, didn’t see anyone and grabbed a backpack out of the bushes he was hiding. Then he pulled out a cell phone and started laughing and talking with someone on the other end. He happened to be going in the same direction as my gf, and got on the Metro train (which is expensive compared to a bus). After that, she was convinced he was a fake.
 
My gf used to walk to the subway from Georgetown in DC after class. She would always pass this one guy who begged for money. She never gave him anything or approached him. One time, she was lucky enough to get close to him just as he was packing up for the day. He looked around, didn’t see anyone and grabbed a backpack out of the bushes he was hiding. Then he pulled out a cell phone and started laughing and talking with someone on the other end. He happened to be going in the same direction as my gf, and got on the Metro train (which is expensive compared to a bus). After that, she was convinced he was a fake.
We have a guy in KC who was featured on the news. He brings home over $60,000 a year by begging. Owns a nicer house than mine.
I was once accosted by a guy in Denver who approached me with a story about how he was in bad shape because his wife had committed suicide the night before and he was really hungry. I walked with him to a nearby pub and bought him lunch. He kept asking for “just a few dollars” which I refused to give him. He didn’t eat the lunch and got more and more upset that I wouldn’t give him money. That incident really opened my eyes. The next morning as our group was getting on buses to the airport, I saw that same guy hustling the crowd. He would stop someone, they would give him an apple or bottle of water and he would throw it in the trash as he moved on from sucker to sucker.
Many “homeless” people aren’t really homeless - they just look that way. Our bum lives in an apartment around the corner from the church and heads over to beg when he sees cars in the parking lot.
🤷
 
Where I live, I just never see people beg. Small town with all kinds of private charities and social services. No need to beg, and the cops will round you up for sure if you’re causing trouble. I’ll admit, back when I lived in the city, I used to give money to people who were obviously bums. If there was some place nearby to get them food, I would, but if not, I would give them money. Sometimes I would do both.

That’s something I learned from my grandmother. She believed her house was “marked” by hoboes, back in the days when there were hoboes, and it likely was. She would give one a huge sandwich, and another one wrapped in newspaper. Then she would have them do some small task like sweep the porch and then she would give them money, figuring they would probably buy cheap wine with the money. But at least she gave them a chance to eat, as well as to quell whatever other pangs they were having.

A person has to consider that bums can’t live on liquor or drugs alone. They have to eat sometime or they would die. Maybe they go dumpster diving for their food, but maybe they sometimes also buy food with the money people give them.

In any event, no bum is going to quit drinking or smoking just because I won’t give him money to do it. That’s all those guys have; their drinking or smoking, and there’s nothing good about putting them through the DTs. Besides, the liklihood is that virtually all of them are insane; cast upon the world by a system that (while it will support them) won’t restrain them because it isn’t the “least restrictive environment”. A good number of them are living on the street precisely because our courts insist on not curbing their freedom. So, who’s responsible for that?

Maybe if I still lived in the city and was accosted by them all the time, I would feel differently.
 
Where I live, I just never see people beg. Small town with all kinds of private charities and social services. No need to beg, and the cops will round you up for sure if you’re causing trouble. I’ll admit, back when I lived in the city, I used to give money to people who were obviously bums. If there was some place nearby to get them food, I would, but if not, I would give them money. Sometimes I would do both.

That’s something I learned from my grandmother. She believed her house was “marked” by hoboes, back in the days when there were hoboes, and it likely was. She would give one a huge sandwich, and another one wrapped in newspaper. Then she would have them do some small task like sweep the porch and then she would give them money, figuring they would probably buy cheap wine with the money. But at least she gave them a chance to eat, as well as to quell whatever other pangs they were having.

A person has to consider that bums can’t live on liquor or drugs alone. They have to eat sometime or they would die. Maybe they go dumpster diving for their food, but maybe they sometimes also buy food with the money people give them.

In any event, no bum is going to quit drinking or smoking just because I won’t give him money to do it. That’s all those guys have; their drinking or smoking, and there’s nothing good about putting them through the DTs. Besides, the liklihood is that virtually all of them are insane; cast upon the world by a system that (while it will support them) won’t restrain them because it isn’t the “least restrictive environment”. A good number of them are living on the street precisely because our courts insist on not curbing their freedom. So, who’s responsible for that?

Maybe if I still lived in the city and was accosted by them all the time, I would feel differently.
My mother used to make sandwiches for hobo’s too. We lived near a train track and she figured our house was marked.

I was once accosted in the Sacramento Cathedral by a panhandler. He came right down the aisle during Mass and said he had skin cancer. I would have escorted him out, but he left on his own. There were always a few panhandlers on the front steps of that Cathedral on Sundays.
 
On Friday I was walking back to school from a book store when this guy who was clearly drunk and was smoking asked me for money, saying that he had not eaten for a couple of days. I did not give him any money, believing he was going to buy smokes and booze with it because let’s face it, he was already drunk and the price of a pack of cigarettes and beer can probably buy a meal from a fast food place. Was I in the wrong to do this or was my judgment proper?
Sure. With charity, you are only required to give as much as you can afford to lose. So if you didn’t want to lose that dollar you did the right thing. Regardless, never give money, give anything else, not money.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top