A few tears in mass a bad thing?

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seekdatruth

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This has been bothering me since last Sunday: I’ve been going to mass after a long lapse of 20 years, and I haven’t been absolved of my mortal sins yet. Sometimes, especially if it’s one of those songs that bring back memories in the Church as a child, I get all weepy-eyed despite my best efforts to keep the tears in check. I don’t think I’m feeling sorry for myself, it’s just like all the denying myself of my faith over the years is breaking loose and I’m filled with emotion because I’m on the right path finally. It seems as if I’m overwhelmed with joy! It’s like the tears I shed on my wedding day when I was so choked up I could barely say my vows!
I didn’t bawl out loud or anything, and tried to hide my face as much as possible so no one would worry about me, since I was really more than OK, I was feeling GREAT!
What disturbed me was that I could really sense my tears were not welcome there. People seemed reluctant to touch me during the Lord’s Prayer and the sign of peace. I didn’t want anyone to hug me and start fussing over me, but sheesh, it was like I was some kind of leaper! The woman next to me seemed like she wanted to move because she sat down, saw my mascara running down my face, (gotta remember not to wear that next week!:o ) then got up to scan for another seat and seeing it was too packed, she grudgingly sat back down next to the cry baby.
It just seems so typical of what hurt me and caused me to drift away in the first place. Is this the type of culture promoted in the Catholic Church? Am I just oversensitive because of my negative experiences as a child? I was so young when I left, that I assumed it was only the kids being kids. As an adult, it seems like business as usual to me. I don’t see any shame in a few tears shed (as discretely as possible) because of ANY emotion. Why is this so bad to Catholics?
 
It is a sad intrusion of secular culture into the church. It is not the church teachings, but a few who are not yet to the point where they can live what the church teaches.

The Church is a hospital for sinners, of whom I am one, and it is filled with sinners; it is not a haven for saints. Saints don’t need to be there… sinners do.

Hie thyself hence off to confession. Accept that it’s not “easy.”

I find that I seldom make it through Christmas or Pascha without tears…
 
seekdatruth said:
This has been bothering me since last Sunday: I’ve been going to mass after a long lapse of 20 years, and I haven’t been absolved of my mortal sins yet. Sometimes, especially if it’s one of those songs that bring back memories in the Church as a child, I get all weepy-eyed despite my best efforts to keep the tears in check. I don’t think I’m feeling sorry for myself, it’s just like all the denying myself of my faith over the years is breaking loose and I’m filled with emotion because I’m on the right path finally. It seems as if I’m overwhelmed with joy! It’s like the tears I shed on my wedding day when I was so choked up I could barely say my vows!
I didn’t bawl out loud or anything, and tried to hide my face as much as possible so no one would worry about me, since I was really more than OK, I was feeling GREAT!
What disturbed me was that I could really sense my tears were not welcome there. People seemed reluctant to touch me during the Lord’s Prayer and the sign of peace. I didn’t want anyone to hug me and start fussing over me, but sheesh, it was like I was some kind of leaper! The woman next to me seemed like she wanted to move because she sat down, saw my mascara running down my face, (gotta remember not to wear that next week!:o ) then got up to scan for another seat and seeing it was too packed, she grudgingly sat back down next to the cry baby.
It just seems so typical of what hurt me and caused me to drift away in the first place. Is this the type of culture promoted in the Catholic Church? Am I just oversensitive because of my negative experiences as a child? I was so young when I left, that I assumed it was only the kids being kids. As an adult, it seems like business as usual to me. I don’t see any shame in a few tears shed (as discretely as possible) because of ANY emotion. Why is this so bad to Catholics?
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I assure you, that is NOT so bad to Catholics. some people have no threshold for witnessing emotion. My MIL is like that. We had a death in the family a few weeks ago; at the prayer service, the family of the deceased showed a PowerPoint presentation of the life of the deceased. It was very beautifully done, and 99% of the people were very touched. My MIL sat there squirming in her seat, tsk-tsking the show of emotion.

My parish would welcome you with open arms! 🙂

Welcome back, and as another poster stated, it would be good for you to get to Confession soon. It would be a good idea to book an appointment for your return to Confession so that you can take the time you need.

God bless you! 🙂
 
Please judge the Church by her saints, not by her sinners.
I’m sorry you witnessed such a reaction in your pew neighbors. Please believe that most Catholics would not react that way. Please don’t judge all by the actions of a few.
 
It’s wonderful that you’ve come back to the Church. A very good habit to establish is that of assuming people have the highest motives for what they do. Perhaps the lady next to you thought you might be more comfortable if you were left alone to cry in peace. If not, I think sandraladeda had it right - some people just don’t handle emotions very well. Please remember it’s not the Church that is that way - it’s just some people.

Welcome home
Betsy
 
Why are you so afraid to cry? The ‘gift of tears’ is from the Lord Himself. Don’t be afraid. He knows you already. Don’t be afraid to cry over your sins, and His love for you. You aught to.🙂
 
baltobetsy said:
Please remember it’s not the Church that is that way - it’s just some people.

Betsy
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WOW! Thanks all! I wasn’t expecting such nice responses, but I’m glad I asked! I soooo wanted to hear that it’s just some people and not all, nor the Church. I really missed things like the music and the visual aids for prayer, AKA statues, and the cross WITH Christ on there in all the glory of His sacrifice. Not that anyone would forget, but it sure does help keep the focus.
I never felt like Christ was in that wafer before, but now I can hardly wait for Communion again. Hopefully some day soon!
Why am I embarrassed about my emotion? Maybe because I grew up a little too sensitive around people who feel emotion is a sign of weakness. 10 years in the service didn’t help either! “Suck it up!! Soldier!” lol! They are forgiven, but it’s hard to get that old song out of my head. 🙂 Guess I should imagine what I’d automatically think in the other woman’s shoes! This is therapy. Thanks!
 
Don’t you worry, girl. If I had been sitting next to you, I’d probably have patted your shoulder. I’d probably choke up myself. I do!

Get yourself to confession right now! You will feel so much better afterwards - and you will be able to receive Our Lord!

:hug1:

To God be the glory!

Ruthie
 
I sing in the choir, so I am up in front of everyone. The scripture that week and the priest’s homily hit so close to home that I started crying in front of everybody! By the grace of God I was able to contain myself in time for the presentation of gifts song. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried singing after crying, but it’s a mess!
 
I agree with eelpis
“…The ‘gift of tears’ is from the Lord Himself. Don’t be afraid. He knows you already. Don’t be afraid to cry over your sins, and His love for you. You aught to”
Get your self to confession this Saturday and on Sunday, leave off the mascara or wear a good waterproof, have a fistful of kleenex and hold your head up. If the tears flow, don’t be ashamed. Focus on the Lord and give thanks. Self conciousness is a form of pride, let it go. 😉
 
oh at our church we all bawl our eyes out! A lot of the time we are laughing at each other cos we are all crying LOL
 
I get emotional at church sometimes because a certain scripture passage touches me, and also when my children and my nieces made their sacraments. I just find it very beautiful. Another thing that gets me is the Litany of the Saints.
 
seekdatruth said:
It just seems so typical of what hurt me and caused me to drift away in the first place. Is this the type of culture promoted in the Catholic Church?
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Dear “seek”. First, I would like to say WELCOME HOME! :hug1:

Your tears are part of the cleansing process. Don’t be ashamed of them! I’ve been back for over 3 years, and I STILL often cry… at Mass. I do make an effort, to cry silently. And I keep plenty of kleenex in my pocket… so as not to disturb those around me.

But I assure you, that your tears are VERY precious to Our Loving and Merciful Lord. He waits for you, in the Sacrament of Reconciliation too. Do not be afraid, to go… and unburden yourself in His Loving Mercy. I had many serious sins, to confess… upon my return. I was nervous. But I soon found out, that I had NOTHING to fear.

Those Confessions turned out to be my greatest blessings. I pray that you will have the same experience… so that you can SOON return to the Sacrament of Holy Communion. I would also recommend… that you request the Sacrament of the Sick, once you have made your Confession. We’ve been receiving it on a regular basis… and the effects have been SO wonderful!

May God bless you. I’m so happy that you’ve returned. 🙂
 
QUOTE=MarieVeronica;4481746]
… I would also recommend… that you request the Sacrament of the Sick, once you have made your Confession. We’ve been receiving it on a regular basis… and the effects have been SO wonderful!
/QUOTE]

Why should she receive the Annointing of the Sick? Did I miss something?
 
Your tears are a sign of a contrite heart. There is no sin in that - rather it expresses remorse for sin. This is exactly what the Lord is seeking. If anyone sees you crying, it is likely out of jealousy that they react. Is their faith so dead that they are offended by tears?

Since the mass is Calvary re-presented to us, just imagine how many tears were shed by the faithful at the crucifixion! And, that is exactly where we are at the mass. When I contemplate how much love our Lord has for us, and the tremendous suffering he endured for us sinners, and still endures when we sin. I often weep when moving forward to receive. I have no shame, and I believe that it might just be the proper method of receiving, depending upon your personal disposition.

Go and receive absolution this week, and your tears will turn to tears of joy. Amen!
 
ann_chicago said:
QUOTE=MarieVeronica;4481746]
… I would also recommend… that you request the Sacrament of the Sick, once you have made your Confession. We’ve been receiving it on a regular basis… and the effects have been SO wonderful!
/QUOTE]

Why should she receive the Annointing of the Sick? Did I miss something?
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Oh, no. I didn’t meant to imply that.

The Sacrament of the Sick… is available to anyone who wants it, though. You don’t have to be on your deathbed, these days… to receive it. You also do not have to be suffering from a disease or physical illness. You can receive it, for purely spiritual benefits.

All you have to do, is ask your priest for it. It is an extraordinary gift and means of additional grace. I felt that maybe it would do her good… since she seems to be struggling a bit.

Just try-na help! 😉
 
When I first reverted, I felt every reading and every homily was talking about ME, and I wept nearly every week, out of the awe that Jesus knew what I was suffering.

It still happens occasionally, and I alway cry through the Palm Sunday and Good Friday Gospels. I hate to say “Crucify Him,” yet in all my years away from the Church, I did crucify Him by my actions.

Welcome home, seekdatruth. (((((hug)))))
 
I called to make an appointment for confession because, yeah, 20 years is a lot of confessing! The secretary just chuckled and said, “That’s OK, it’s usually not crowded on Saturday, I’m sure you’ll have enough time.” I said, “Lady, I’ve been a bad, bad person, are you sure?” She laughed and wanted to take my name so that Fr could get back to me on the appointment time, and I said “NO THANKS! I’d rather stay incognito for this one!” LOL! She reassured me I’d have enough time, so here goes! I haven’t felt this way since that time I was going skydiving tandem and the guy I was supposed to be strapped to looked REALLY hung-over! Boy was I relieved when that storm came in and we had to call the whole thing off! Same feeling though. BIG LEAP OF FAITH! Pray for me.
 
seekdatruth said:
BIG LEAP OF FAITH! Pray for me.
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We are praying for you. You could have murdered 100 people, but if your heart is contrite, the Lord is waiting t take you back. The sensation of the weight of your sin being lifted from your shoulders will be an amazing experience. You may feel almost weightless as you walk from the confessional! You will ever after look forward to it. You are in my prayers. Amen!
 
Seekdatruth, you ROCK. I’ll be SO looking forward to your posting an update (if you’re up to it, that is). Oh, one more thing. . .

WELCOME HOME, SISTAH!!!
 
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