A little scared of what’s happening to my faith

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ShowersofRoses said:
I feel safe talking to them because I can tell they feel the same way…it’s completely pure and just friendly talking. So it is possible for men to be extroverted and friendly with women without lusting.
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Exactly! We’re not supposed to become curmudgeonly hermits. It’s refreshing to hear this 😊 Not everything should devolve into lusting. Having a nice pure chat is a wonderful thing!
 
Wow, this looks like a great classic I never heard of it and I am always searching for great books on Amazon. I can’t wait to order. Thank you very much!
That’s all I pray for is peace. It’s funny I’m the laid back flower child and my husband is a bit more iron fist, so the children naturally ask me for permission for things first. It’s this one area in my life that keeps me imprisoned. Anyway, thank you so much again for your thoughtfulness.
 
Unfortunately, not every man can have these kinds of chats with laughs and it end at purely innocent. It is very possible for a certain kind of man to be tempted to lust or tempted to dwell on a person depending upon who they are sharing nice friendly laughs with. I don’t think I’m saying something that’s not true. My husband and I talk to people all day of different genders but I do think it’s possible that it can lead to a dwelling of thoughts and a looking forward to the next time…for some individuals.
 
LoveTherese said:
Unfortunately, not every man can have these kinds of chats with laughs and it end at purely innocent. It is very possible for a certain kind of man to be tempted to lust or tempted to dwell on a person depending upon who they are sharing nice friendly laughs with.
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And you’re 100% sure that your husband is that kind of person?
 
I feel he’s susceptible in this area. He says the opposite but trust is hard to regain. ( his over friendliness led people to thinking wrongly of his intentions). We’re also not curmudgeonly hermits.
 
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Thank you for your response, we have done this suggestion as mentioned prior.
 
Thank you. Some days are better than others. Before the stress of the move I’d say the problem was still there but 85% not interfering with our lives. Anyway, I always count my blessings, I’m the type of person to feel terrible complaining about an apartment vs. a house when people are homeless! But God knows my dumb anxiety and he knows it’s not coming from a healthy,normal place. (He also know how much I pray about it). I just feel bad b/c I feel my husband deserves better, a more outgoing wife that matches him. But anyway,
I thank all of you so much!! I feel better.
God bless you all.
 
LoveTherese said:
my faith tells me that right now someone I know is mourning the loss of her child and that God finding a great home for us is low on the priority list
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First of all @LoveTherese, I am so sorry you are going through this. I, too, like my privacy and moving from a single family home to an apartment would stress me. My sister lost her house several years ago and is in an apartment now. She finally is at peace, but has times where the neighbors, etc. are too much for her to handle. I guess I’m saying I understand and many of your concerns are valid. As for God providing your next home, don’t ever think that you take second or third place to someone else’s needs. God is more than able to provide everyone’s needs, time and time again. Maybe it’s a male/female thing. Generalization here: maybe your husband truly isn’t that concerned about where you live - he knows it will be a home and that with God it will be okay. You, on the other hand, are more concerned about the details and feeling that maybe your apartment isn’t so important to God, and maybe you’re not quite sure if God will provide what you want. It’s okay to want a detached place! God is our Heavenly Father - and what Father doesn’t want the best for His children? I’ll keep you in my prayers and ask God to give you peace through this transition.
 
I will be keeping you in my prayers today, as a fellow sufferer of anxiety. And stress just makes it worse, and moving or finding a new place to live is particularly stressful.

I actually credit the house that my husband and I live in to the intercession of St. Therese. Someone in my Legion of Mary said a novena for us because I was also ill and going through a hard time. We found the house at the conclusion of the novena (Footnote: there are roses in our garden and the doorknobs in our bedroom closets are roses. At first I was going to replace the doorknobs, but I decided to keep them in her honor because they make me think of her intercession.) At the very least I pray Therese intercedes for you and you find greater peace of mind.
 
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Wow, thank you so much. That is beautiful. May the Lord continue to bless you and your family! We did a novena to our Blessed Mother to find the house rental we are in now. Which is why at first I was surprised the owner sold it so quickly and now I have to move again. But my faith tells me there are many factors I don’t see and even if I only spent 10 months enjoying the peace of this home it was for a good reason. Thank you so much again❤️
 
I really cant thank you enough for this, it was very difficult to write my post and only later in my follow up posts did i share a bit more because I was afraid I would sound like a mentally challenged person that would be referred to get help and medicine. Instead you remind me that there are other sufferers of anxiety for many different reasons and to keep my focus on God. You and others here have helped so much treating me like a human because as crazy as it sounds I sometimes treat myself as sub-human because of my insecurity and anxiety and it affects my prayer life. I was always jealous of normal people that were carefree but people come in all emotional forms and we all should be treated with dignity. Thank you very much again.
 
Lifelong sufferer of anxiety and introvert wife of an extrovert husband here!

Boy can I relate!

I think, overall, you are taking the right approach. Faith and reliance on God and consistent prayer are the largest helps to me as well. I have a couple suggestions:

Do you have access to Formed.org? If so, listen to this talk! It has changed my life from an anxiety standpoint: Calming the Emotional Storms : Dr. Gregory Popcak

There is a book associated with this talk:

God Help Me! This Stress Is Driving Me Crazy!: Finding Balance Through God’s Grace https://www.amazon.com/dp/0824525981/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_68InBb1RZX3SS

I also recommend getting a tenner or finger rosary to carry with you. When I feel my anxiety rising I grab it and say a short invocation on each bead. I usually say “Come, Holy Spirit” but you have to choose something that works for you. This form of prayer helps me quickly recenter and calm my anxiety.

Lastly, therapy. I know you said it hasn’t worked in the past, but if insecurity is having this large an impact on your life, you have to get to the root of it, and this is easier with a disinterested third party guiding you. I’m going through this process myself. It isn’t always pleasant, but understanding where my anxiety is coming from does help me get control of it. For me, the source of my anxiety is a comment said to me in my childhood that I apparently internalized. That comment has been fuel for a life full of negative assumptions, anxiety, and depression.

God bless you. I’ll add you to my rosary today.
 
LoveTherese said:
I was afraid I would sound like a mentally challenged person that would be referred to get help and medicine
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There is nothing at all shameful about getting help and medicine. Wish I could give you a hug.

Keep up with the spiritual side of your anxiety. Know that there is no shame in asking for help.

The St Dymphna Society exists in some Dioceses (a couple of links below). Perhaps your Diocese has a similar support system?

http://www.miministry.org/

https://www.dolr.org/st-dymphna-society
 
You’re welcome. Things don’t always happen in the timeline or way we expect, either. In my case, we had made an offer on the house just as the novena ended but at first our offer was turned down. Weeks later the people that were going to buy the house had to pull out for “personal reasons” so we ended up getting the house, so the prayers weren’t answered on the day, but at a later time. 🙂
 
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Wow such similarity, what a blessing your response was. Thank you! I know my insecurity stemmed from always hearing how pretty I was growing up and then tying value to my self worth based on looks for decades! Also at 17 there was an abusive relationship where the man was VERY jealous. The interesting thing is before I met him I was never a jealous person (with the boyfriend prior) I think back on those days sometimes to try to taste what that freedom was again. But that was over 20 years ago. I fear and love the Lord and it’s a strange feeling that I seek Him when I’m feeling a bit numb, I usually run to Him when I’m suffering or when I’m super happy. I’m slow now (I stopped going to mass daily because we don’t have a car now and I stopped reading the Magnificat every morning) But once you immerse yourself in Jesus daily for years He’s never far, I hope He forgives my lack of consistency I’m just stressed with this move. Thank you so very much for your empathy and I will look into talking to another counselor ❤️
 
Thank you so much LittleLady, that means a lot to me. I will definitely look into that, I never heard of it before. I believe you all are God answering my prayer. That is very touching thank you.
 
What I see is that your main issue is trusting your husband … this is something you should work out between the two of you … counselling may be the answer … you have a lot of anxiety about where you are going to live based on not trusting your husband around other women … you shouldn’t have to live with that kind of anxiety … it is something that can be dealt with in counselling.

Good luck with the move and God Bless You.
 
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