A little whine about mode of dress

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TheRealJuliane said:
Maybe we are all growing, dear forum friends! So far, this thread hasn’t taken a snippy or nasty tone ONCE!

:clapping::clapping:
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Yes, it seems to be the opposite of what I normally run into on modesty threads. I pray it remains that way.

I hope we are all growing in charity as we walk down (up?) that road to Heaven. Maybe we’ve all taken a few steps in the right direction.

I thank the Holy Spirit for that. 🙂
 
Hoo(name removed by moderator)mie said:
Coming out of a Protestant background, I have always dressed my very best to go to church. My sister, brother and I had a special outfit and shoes just for church and other special occasions and we did not wear them to school. Ever. It took me years to even consider wearing pants to church. So here comes the whine–I have been rather shocked at what parishioners wear to Mass on Sunday morning. If I have an audience with the Queen of England, I will dress up nicely. I have an audience with the King of the Universe each time I go to Mass so why wouldn’t I wear my best for Him? I know, I know, I should be happy that they are in the pews. However, I was very dismayed when a teenage girl in the pew in front of me last Sunday was wearing short shorts. Over and over I’ve reminded myself that at least they ARE in church and it’s really none of my business how they dress. Do I need to get over this? In the great scheme of things this is not an earth shattering issue, but I find it disrespectful and a bit disconcerting.
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Parishioners should look respectable–they should be well groomed and dress modestly (in other words, no halter tops or Bart Simpson t-shirts). However, church is not about wearing your “Sunday suit.” It is about focusing on Jesus on the altar. Short shorts are disrespectful; however, I wouldn’t worry if you see someone with a polo shirt and a pair of jeans.
 
Lady_Modesty said:
I don’t believe there is anything wrong with what you wear, but your post made me a bit curious. If you wear slacks Mon.-Thurs. for work, you obviously own them, so why wouldn’t you wear them to Church? If work requires dress clothes, then why not wear the same to visit with Jesus? If you bought your boys Walmart suits for Easter, why not get your money’s worth and have them at least wear the pants from the suit every week.

You certainly don’t need to have a full wardrobe of nice clothes. I guess I just find it funny that people can wear the same pair of jeans every week, but seem to have an issue with wearing the same pair of dress slacks or the same skirt etc.?

I"m just curious because you mentioned these things.

But in the end all that matters is that you are there.
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I agree, all that matters in the end is that you are there.

I know I don’t always look fantastic, but I do make an effort to look… nicer than I do during the week. During the week my SAHM uniform is jeans or other casual pants with various casual tops like t-shirts. I wear my hair up a lot and no make up.

For Sundays I pull out my one skirt or my one pair of black slacks (both of which are at least 6 years old) and wear one of my nicer shirts, even if it’s also one I would wear to town during the week with jeans. I have one pair of black Mary Jane style Doc Marten shoes that are going on 9 years old that I wear every Sunday. Everything is in good condition. I shower, straighten my hair with a flat iron, and occasionally (time permitting) apply light make up with my four year old make up. It makes me feel better to know that I have made an effort to look special for a special occasion.

My husband has a couple pairs of slacks, a few ties, and a couple dress shirts. We occasionally need to attend other events like weddings and funerals where jeans and tshirts would not be acceptable attire, so we consider ONE or TWO appropriate outfits to be a necessary part of our wardrobe. My husband does not have a suit.

My children wear mostly gifted or handed down clothing. We have ONE dress suit in each size for the boys and they are expected to wear them on Sundays. We hand down dress shoes (bought at Walmart) as well. This year I actually had to purchase a pants-shirt-vest-tie ensemble for my second son because we somehow had a gap in our hand-me-downs in his size. So I waited until the Easter suits went on sale, went to a store that was closing and I would get an additional 20% off, and got him one. It was still expensive, IMO, but because I have to purchase very little kid clothing (thanks to the generosity of friends, family, and neighbors) I was willing to do that.

Our girls wear dresses, all hand-me-downs. They each have a pair of black church shoes that we hand down to younger siblings, same as the boys. Each has a white sweater to wear if the dress they chose is sleeveless.

I totally understand budget restrictions and I would never judge anyone for the way they were dressed at Mass (although the drooping jeans on the 18 year old boy in front of us at Latin Mass a few weeks ago really caught me off guard!) but, to me, ONE good set of clothes for each kid (or for each gender in each size or every other size to minimize cost) and ONE set of dressy shoes is a wardrobe necessity. We need to have clothing appropriate for weddings, funerals, and Mass. If we own it for weddings and funerals, there is no reason we can’t wear it to Mass on Sundays, too.

We make a big deal out of keeping everything nice and taking good care of it, too, and changing into play clothes as soon as we get home.
 
anp1215 said:
I definitely see where you’re coming from. For me, it’s mainly modesty that is bothersome. I would rather see someone in jeans (casual attire, but modest) than a black mini-dress (dressy attire, but immodest).

Sometimes I see a girl wearing “booty shorts” at church and it does make me say to myself “Really?” I must admit. Then I just turn my thoughts to something else to avoid uncharitable thoughts towards others.

The little shorts are really ridiculous and inappropriate for Mass. I think anyone would agree about that. I just can’t believe that these girls have parents who let them leave the house wearing them.
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Your doing much better than I am. On Easter Sunday when I walked past the strapless mini dress, I admit the “really” escaped my lips.

My thoughts on this have evolved over time. I used to think it bothered me how people dressed in Mass. Now I realize I have a problem with how people dress in their everyday life. If its too immodest for church it’s probably to immodest for anywhere.
 
Lacour said:
Your doing much better than I am. On Easter Sunday when I walked past the strapless mini dress, I admit the “really” escaped my lips.

My thoughts on this have evolved over time. I used to think it bothered me how people dressed in Mass. Now I realize I have a problem with how people dress in their everyday life. If its too immodest for church it’s probably to immodest for anywhere.
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Yeah a lot of that stuff shouldn’t really be worn at all in my opinion.

It probably doesn’t get to me as much because I came from a non-denominational church that was ubercasual. Pretty much everyone wore jeans. For someone to wear a suit or dressy attire they would have actually stood out. For the most part though, people were at least modest. My sister in law however, was one of the booty short girls. I don’t know if she still is because obviously I don’t go to that church anymore.

I got baptized in that church and my dad came (non-practicing Catholic) in a suit and really, really stood out like a sore thumb!
 
anp1215 said:
For the most part though, people were at least modest.
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Here’s a sermon by a Catholic priest on EWTN, regarding the requirements and specific norms to dress modestly when setting foot inside a Catholic church:

youtube.com/watch?v=PZHECJJbzPM

To summarize those norms of modesty: “In church, please cover your shoulders and knees.”

Inappropriate for church:

-shorts (for both men and women)
-miniskirts
-swimsuits
-bikinis
-tank tops (for both men and women)
-dresses or skirts above the knees
-bare shoulders
-bare arms
-low-cut dresses
-sleeveless shirts and dresses that bare the arms
-very tight fitting clothing
-bare midriffs
-exposed bellies
-exposed backs
-transparent dresses
-clothes that expose the bellies, backs, cleavage etc while bending down
-blouses and tops that are too tight, revealing and provocative
-tight-fitting clothing that shows the outline of the underwear/underclothes
-tight-fitting spandex clothes
-vulgar tee shirts, vulgar/offensive inscriptions

Necessary for church:

-pants, skirts, dresses should come down to the knees or below
-shirts and dresses should cover the shoulders and have some sort of a sleeve
 
severus68 said:
👍 I think that has much to do with the OP.
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You are very kind. I’ve enjoyed this little conversation and appreciate everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut, even if it was “get over it” LOL. We should be able to bring our whines or concerns to our friends and have a lively but honorable discussion.
 
Hoo(name removed by moderator)mie said:
You are very kind. I’ve enjoyed this little conversation and appreciate everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut, even if it was “get over it” LOL. We should be able to bring our whines or concerns to our friends and have a lively but honorable discussion.
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Yes, we should. What I like about you is that you listened to the views of others and did not get angry with or preachy to those with different views. You have been very decent (no pun intended).

Welcome and God bless you in your journey.
 
severus68 said:
Yes, we should. What I like about you is that you listened to the views of others and did not get angry with or preachy to those with different views. You have been very decent (no pun intended).

Welcome and God bless you in your journey.
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Quite agree.
OP is awesome -
and humble about it too!
 
L_piperatus said:
Here’s a sermon by a Catholic priest on EWTN, regarding the requirements and specific norms to dress modestly when setting foot inside a Catholic church:

youtube.com/watch?v=PZHECJJbzPM

To summarize those norms of modesty: “In church, please cover your shoulders and knees.”

Inappropriate for church:

-shorts (for both men and women)
-miniskirts
-swimsuits
-bikinis
-tank tops (for both men and women)
-dresses or skirts above the knees
-bare shoulders
-bare arms
-low-cut dresses
-sleeveless shirts and dresses that bare the arms
-very tight fitting clothing
-bare midriffs
-exposed bellies
-exposed backs
-transparent dresses
-clothes that expose the bellies, backs, cleavage etc while bending down
-blouses and tops that are too tight, revealing and provocative
-tight-fitting clothing that shows the outline of the underwear/underclothes
-tight-fitting spandex clothes
-vulgar tee shirts, vulgar/offensive inscriptions

Necessary for church:

-pants, skirts, dresses should come down to the knees or below
-shirts and dresses should cover the shoulders and have some sort of a sleeve
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Yes…I’m not sure why you quoted me though.
 
I couldn’t wait to get back on here when I got home today. I posted this thread because I was (I thought :dts:) justly concerned about folks being disrespectful, etc. Fr. Charlie spoke directly to ME in his homily this morning, so much so that I made a note in my Magnificat–we should look at the world through the eyes of Christ. The world is that teenage girl wearing short shorts and sitting in the pew in front of mine. So I must get down off my dressed up holier-than-thou high horse and rejoice that she came to Mass with her mother. Perhaps I was moved to post a thread about a dead horse that has been beaten repeatedly so that I could truly HEAR what was being said to me this morning. What a blessing y’all are!!
 
Hoo(name removed by moderator)mie said:
I couldn’t wait to get back on here when I got home today. I posted this thread because I was (I thought :dts:) justly concerned about folks being disrespectful, etc. Fr. Charlie spoke directly to ME in his homily this morning, so much so that I made a note in my Magnificat–we should look at the world through the eyes of Christ. The world is that teenage girl wearing short shorts and sitting in the pew in front of mine. So I must get down off my dressed up holier-than-thou high horse and rejoice that she came to Mass with her mother. Perhaps I was moved to post a thread about a dead horse that has been beaten repeatedly so that I could truly HEAR what was being said to me this morning. What a blessing y’all are!!
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Remarkable about the homily today!
“His eye is on the sparrow …” indeed.

Frankly, you introduced a subject that has
given rise to lots of ugliness over the years,
yes, even here at CA.

You must have a great gift for gentleness.
Hurray fo you and hurray for your family
and a BIG hurray for “our Church.”

God bless you!
 
Hoo(name removed by moderator)mie said:
I couldn’t wait to get back on here when I got home today. I posted this thread because I was (I thought :dts:) justly concerned about folks being disrespectful, etc. Fr. Charlie spoke directly to ME in his homily this morning, so much so that I made a note in my Magnificat–we should look at the world through the eyes of Christ. The world is that teenage girl wearing short shorts and sitting in the pew in front of mine. So I must get down off my dressed up holier-than-thou high horse and rejoice that she came to Mass with her mother. Perhaps I was moved to post a thread about a dead horse that has been beaten repeatedly so that I could truly HEAR what was being said to me this morning. What a blessing y’all are!!
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I’ve written a couple of posts but they were little more than meaningless words so I deleted them. I just want to say that I am so impressed by your wisdom and humility. I think you have travelled far on your spiritual journey and I’m so happy you are coming home next year.

God bless you. May God bless all of us and give us wisdom, charity, and humility so that we can show His love by doing our best to act as He does and to look at the world through His eyes.
 
catharina said:
Remarkable about the homily today!
“His eye is on the sparrow …” indeed.

Frankly, you introduced a subject that has
given rise to lots of ugliness over the years,
yes, even here at CA.

You must have a great gift for gentleness.
Hurray fo you and hurray for your family
and a BIG hurray for “our Church.”

God bless you!
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You are so right.👍
 
Hoo(name removed by moderator)mie said:
I couldn’t wait to get back on here when I got home today. I posted this thread because I was (I thought :dts:) justly concerned about folks being disrespectful, etc. Fr. Charlie spoke directly to ME in his homily this morning, so much so that I made a note in my Magnificat–we should look at the world through the eyes of Christ. The world is that teenage girl wearing short shorts and sitting in the pew in front of mine. So I must get down off my dressed up holier-than-thou high horse and rejoice that she came to Mass with her mother. Perhaps I was moved to post a thread about a dead horse that has been beaten repeatedly so that I could truly HEAR what was being said to me this morning. What a blessing y’all are!!
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👍👍👍
 
anp1215 said:
Yes…I’m not sure why you quoted me though.
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Oh, sorry, I was thinking it but didn’t say that your post about people being ubercasual and wearing jeans and your dad standing out with his suit made me smile. I also tend to dress casually. But then, whenever I visited home from college, my Mom hated it that I would wear jeans to church on a Sunday, and she insisted that I wear nice slacks with a dressy shirt (in hot weather) or a suit with tie (in cooler weather), for Sundays. Now, when I visit home, I’m really happy to dress up for Sunday in order to make my Mom happy. 😃 Weekdays are of course different, since I would be running various errands, and if I entered church for Mass or to pray, I would be dressed typically in my usual casual clothes (not slacks or a suit with tie).

However, the modesty issue is a whole different thing and reading your remark that “at least people were dressed modestly” prompted me to post that sermon by the Catholic priest, not directed to you in fact. 🙂 It was just that reading your post, reminded me of the sermon by Father Dominick Mary on EWTN, and how that sermon may help anyone who wants to learn the specific norms of modesty when visiting a Catholic church, as taught by our Catholic clergy.
 
L_piperatus said:
Oh, sorry, I was thinking it but didn’t say that your post about people being ubercasual and wearing jeans and your dad standing out with his suit made me smile. I also tend to dress casually. But then, whenever I visited home from college, my Mom hated it that I would wear jeans to church on a Sunday, and she insisted that I wear nice slacks with a dressy shirt (in hot weather) or a suit with tie (in cooler weather), for Sundays. Now, when I visit home, I’m really happy to dress up for Sunday in order to make my Mom happy. 😃 Weekdays are of course different, since I would be running various errands, and if I entered church for Mass or to pray, I would be dressed typically in my usual casual clothes (not slacks or a suit with tie).

However, the modesty issue is a whole different thing and reading your remark that “at least people were dressed modestly” prompted me to post that sermon by the Catholic priest, not directed to you in fact. 🙂 It was just that reading your post, reminded me of the sermon by Father Dominick Mary on EWTN, and how that sermon may help anyone who wants to learn the specific norms of modesty when visiting a Catholic church, as taught by our Catholic clergy.
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Oh, I see 🙂
 
Thank you again for your kind words. Believe me, humility and gentleness are NOT in my general nature. It has been a struggle over the past few years to be able to discuss controversial and not-so-controversial subjects and not get all uppity if someone disagrees with my [glorious, of course] opinion. Since I’ve begun my journey HOME and my prayerlife has increased dramatically, I see changes in myself that are astounding to me. My daughter has commented several times about the change she sees and I am truly humbled and blessed that folks are noticing. It is NOT my doing, it is the Holy Spirit acting on my heart that has brought about this change. And it is the Holy Spirit Who is leading me HOME. I don’t really want to wish my life away, but I long for Easter Vigil 2013 with all my heart and with all my mind and with all my soul. I want so desperately to get out of my pew and partake of the Eucharist. sigh
 
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