A little whine about mode of dress

[Portrait]

When my daughter asks why she has to wear a dress I explain to her because we are going to see a king. I really am the only one who dresses up at my church, so I always look overdressed compared to the jeans and t-shirts I usually see. I just hope that maybe my example might inspire others someday.

Dear Crafty Catholic,

Cordial greetings and a very good day. Jolly good post and good on you.

Yes, your godly example is not in vain, dear friend, and hopefully others will see that you have a pious desire to withdraw from observation, rather than to court it, unlike so many putative modern day Catholics.

God bless you and your daughter.

Warmest good wishes,

Portrait

Pax

 

[MissRose73]

I wish that more people would dress modestly for Mass. Some of the recent posts mentioning refusal of Communion to the immodestly dressed, I wish would be enforced more in both the Ordinary and Extraordinary Forms of the Mass. I am not asking for people to go up covered up completely & showing no skin but some items are simply not Mass appropriate. I am not asking for 1950’s dress to the nines but a decent, modest & clean top & bottoms are better compared to coming in with a skirt or shorts 2 inches below the bottom of the backside.

BTW, I like that EWTN homily of Father Dominic’s. I wish more churches would play the video, and actually enforce some kind of modesty for both genders with summer coming soon in many areas.

When I went to Easter Vigil Mass, I took my pashima wrap/shawl with me even though I was wearing long sleeves and a long skirt as I knew we would go outside for the Service of Light & Blessing of Fire. Nearby me was a young lady no older than 13 or 14 with her family when we were outside. Her dress came to her knees but it was sleeveless, a bit low cut and showed a lot of shoulders & bra straps. I draped the wrap on her shoulders, she thanked me quietly, then after things were done outside & we were returning inside the church, she handed me the wrap back. Hopefully, she has learned (or will learn) about covering up & perhaps bringing a sweater (or wrap of some kind) for future Easter Vigil Masses (and Masses in general) when wearing clothing as she was wearing that night. It was my way to give her silently a lesson in modesty & dressing for the weather.

 

[severus68]

I wish that more people would dress modestly for Mass. Some of the recent posts mentioning refusal of Communion to the immodestly dressed, I wish would be enforced more in both the Ordinary and Extraordinary Forms of the Mass. I am not asking for people to go up covered up completely & showing no skin but some items are simply not Mass appropriate. I am not asking for 1950’s dress to the nines but a decent, modest & clean top & bottoms are better compared to coming in with a skirt or shorts 2 inches below the bottom of the backside.

BTW, I like that EWTN homily of Father Dominic’s. I wish more churches would play the video, and actually enforce some kind of modesty for both genders with summer coming soon in many areas.

When I went to Easter Vigil Mass, I took my pashima wrap/shawl with me even though I was wearing long sleeves and a long skirt as I knew we would go outside for the Service of Light & Blessing of Fire. Nearby me was a young lady no older than 13 or 14 with her family when we were outside. Her dress came to her knees but it was sleeveless, a bit low cut and showed a lot of shoulders & bra straps. I draped the wrap on her shoulders, she thanked me quietly, then after things were done outside & we were returning inside the church, she handed me the wrap back. Hopefully, she has learned (or will learn) about covering up & perhaps bringing a sweater (or wrap of some kind) for future Easter Vigil Masses (and Masses in general) when wearing clothing as she was wearing that night. It was my way to give her silently a lesson in modesty & dressing for the weather.

She probably thought you thought she was cold and was nice enough to lend her your wrap and was not judging her. Why exactly do people get offended by shoulders and arms??

 

[heart4home]

She probably thought you thought she was cold and was nice enough to lend her your wrap and was not judging her. Why exactly do people get offended by shoulders and arms??

I agree with you here. This is likely exactly what this young girl thought. That MissRose was showing her kindness when she noticed she was cold and offered her a wrap. She therefore may have learned a lesson in how to take notice of others in need and do what you can to help. She may have also learned to consider bringing a sweater next time.

I highly doubt though that she got any message, about modesty.

Personally, I have to ask though, which one of us hasn’t been caught underdressed for the temperature at some point in our lives? Who knows maybe she’d never been to an Easter Vigil before or didn’t realize she’d be outside. It was kind of MissRose to offer her a wrap to keep her warm, but I think sort of prideful if the action was meant to deliver some hidden lesson in modesty. Also, considering the fact she handed back the wrap upon entering the Church, where she would have been in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and other parishioners, I’m guessing that hidden message was lost.

My personal preference is that we don’t see bra straps or underclothes on people and I know that some hold to the ideas of…was it Pope Pius… that said a woman’s shirt should come to her elbows.

Now I’m certainly not saying that I hold to these exact standards, I’m just explaining where some get their standards from. I think a cap sleeve is nice, and not too deep of a neckline. I think it goes a little far when we see bare backs or spaghetti straps with bras showing, or strapless sundresses for Mass, but I also admit when shopping for Easter dresses this year for my own girls, it took a lot of work and expense(having to buy extra little shrugs etc.) to find ones that met all my standards and still looked fashionable to them. We did it, but it was certainly an exercise in persistence.

Anyways this was a long post to just say, I agree if the girl thought anything, it was probably that MissRose was kind to lend her her wrap and I would have hoped MissRose that it was your way of silently showing her that you took notice and cared that she was cold.

 

[L_piperatus]

The current explosion of immodesty in certain countries of the Western World (e.g. the USA, that I’m familiar with) sadly reminds me of two other areas where the Catholic clergy failed spectacularly to protect and shepherd the flock: namely, failure to instruct against artificial birth control, and the rather diabolical tolerance and cover-up of sexual abuse of minors by the clergy.

Seeing how many priests are silent on the scandalous attire of their parishioners - just as they were silent on the sinfulness of contraception, all the way leading up to President Obama’s administration mandating them to provide free contraceptives to the people they employ in their own Catholic schools and hospitals, and just as some of our bishops failed to crack down on sexual abuse of children by the priests in their dioceses - , I only hope and pray that as the **** hits the fan, the Vatican will intervene and force our clergy to clean up this mess that they allowed to happen because they ignored their duties as our shepherds. There’s no way anyone would be allowed to set foot in Vatican City, in St. Peter’s Basilica, or in any of the churches of the Bishop of Rome’s (the Holy Father’s) diocese of Rome, wearing the scandalously immodest clothes that many parishioners wear when visiting our churches here in the USA.

Maybe what we, the parishioners should do as we are sick and tired of the scandal surrounding us in God’s very house, is to forcefully appeal to our bishops and priests to put an end to the immodesty in our churches, and should our appeals fail at the local level, take our plight all the way to Rome. After all, let’s not forget: it was the laity who raised hell all the way to Rome and forced out the Bishop of Boston of his diocese, because that bishop wouldn’t crack down on the child molesters running free and preying on children in his diocese.

Maybe it’s time for another revolt by us, by the laity. We don’t have to tolerate the sight of people dressed so immodestly that their private parts are falling out from their short shorts, miniskirts, and tank tops. Most especially, we don’t have to tolerate people entering God’s house like that, scandalizing our children and setting a bad example for them. I feel like we should speak out, demand that our priests and bishops enforce modesty everywhere, and if necessary, take our appeals to Rome.

 

[severus68]

I agree with you here. This is likely exactly what this young girl thought. That MissRose was showing her kindness when she noticed she was cold and offered her a wrap. She therefore may have learned a lesson in how to take notice of others in need and do what you can to help. She may have also learned to consider bringing a sweater next time.

I highly doubt though that she got any message, about modesty.

Personally, I have to ask though, which one of us hasn’t been caught underdressed for the temperature at some point in our lives? Who knows maybe she’d never been to an Easter Vigil before or didn’t realize she’d be outside. It was kind of MissRose to offer her a wrap to keep her warm, but I think sort of prideful if the action was meant to deliver some hidden lesson in modesty. Also, considering the fact she handed back the wrap upon entering the Church, where she would have been in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and other parishioners, I’m guessing that hidden message was lost.

My personal preference is that we don’t see bra straps or underclothes on people and I know that some hold to the ideas of…was it Pope Pius… that said a woman’s shirt should come to her elbows.

Now I’m certainly not saying that I hold to these exact standards, I’m just explaining where some get their standards from. I think a cap sleeve is nice, and not too deep of a neckline. I think it goes a little far when we see bare backs or spaghetti straps with bras showing, or strapless sundresses for Mass, but I also admit when shopping for Easter dresses this year for my own girls, it took a lot of work and expense(having to buy extra little shrugs etc.) to find ones that met all my standards and still looked fashionable to them. We did it, but it was certainly an exercise in persistence.

Anyways this was a long post to just say, I agree if the girl thought anything, it was probably that MissRose was kind to lend her her wrap and I would have hoped MissRose that it was your way of silently showing her that you took notice and cared that she was cold.

A nice, charitable post, thank you.

 

[ZoeyBdo]

Let’s be honest, the problem is the lack of common sense.

Growing up, and I’m only in my mid-thirties, my parents wouldn’t let me wear short skirts or short short shorts… Most shorts we wore came almost to our knees, and the t-shirts weren’t the show-every-curve-in-your-body woman’s t’s that they are today, and these so-called “cami” tank tops… do these young ladies know what a cami is? It’s a camisole… it’s an UNDERGARMENT meant for wearing UNDER your clothing for more modesty… and yet, all of these young ladies are walking around wearing them like they are tank tops. Frankly, I say shame on the parents.

We didn’t dress that way, but now it’s “in fashion” to have everything stick to your bones and show everything, honestly, I think it’s awful. I had a pair of biking-short cotton lycra shorts and crop top outfit that my sister bought, and my father told me I looked like a whore and to get rid of it. Yes, he actually said that to me. But he was right. I was plastered with make-up, hair all done up, and clothes sticking to me… what else would someone think?

Personally, I look at photos from my grandmother’s era and long for the days when men wore suits and hats, and woman wore belted cotton dresses that fell just below the knee or a little longer. Everyone just looked so nice. I have one photo from a family reunion ~ a casual social gathering, and everyone looks ready to go to church… but no no, you should see what they wore to church!! I wish that was how things were now.
Again, it’s common sense ~ but it would seem that common sense has gone out the window… how do we bring it back in?

 

[L_piperatus]

Again, it’s common sense ~ but it would seem that common sense has gone out the window… how do we bring it back in?

My theory is that we should start by rigorously enforcing the standards of modesty in our Catholic churches and other Catholic institutions. We don’t need to put up with the secular world bringing its own messed-up sense of what’s now acceptable to wear in public, and frankly the secular world bringing its scandals and filth, into our churches. We need to draw a line in the sand and ENFORCE, ENFORCE, ENFORCE. That’s what our last two Popes did in Vatican City. They instructed the Swiss Guards to enforce the dress code and stop anyone from setting foot in Vatican City if they were not dressed appropriately.

 

[thewanderer]

My theory is that we should start by rigorously enforcing the standards of modesty in our Catholic churches and other Catholic institutions. We don’t need to put up with the secular world bringing its own messed-up sense of what’s now acceptable to wear in public, and frankly the secular world bringing its scandals and filth, into our churches. We need to draw a line in the sand and ENFORCE, ENFORCE, ENFORCE. That’s what our last two Popes did in Vatican City. They instructed the Swiss Guards to enforce the dress code and stop anyone from setting foot in Vatican City if they were not dressed appropriately.

Maybe before anyone tries to “rigorously enforce” anything, they should charitably suggest, explaining the reasons as to why they feel the way they do about it. I highly doubt that “rigorously enforcing” will help those who do not dress according to your standards come to Mass dressed as you want them to be. It is all too likely that there will be those among them who simply stop coming to Mass at all. And, as others have said, it realy is better that they be there than not. Sure, it would be better if they were there and not wearing overly-revealing clothing, but if the options are being there as is or not being there at all, it really is better that they be there. You want to be very careful about becoming the stumbling block that drives them away from the church.

 

[PPC]

Does any one here know the best way to get our bishops’ attention?

I wonder if the USCCB would be persuaded to make a modesty policy for church attendance if they were inundated by petitions?

Our churches should be a place of refuge for souls instead of a place that puts many of the souls attending in near occasions of sin predicaments.

 

[Portrait]

The current explosion of immodesty in certain countries of the Western World (e.g. the USA, that I’m familiar with) sadly reminds me of two other areas where the Catholic clergy failed spectacularly to protect and shepherd the flock: namely, failure to instruct against artificial birth control, and the rather diabolical tolerance and cover-up of sexual abuse of minors by the clergy.

Seeing how many priests are silent on the scandalous attire of their parishioners - just as they were silent on the sinfulness of contraception, all the way leading up to President Obama’s administration mandating them to provide free contraceptives to the people they employ in their own Catholic schools and hospitals, and just as some of our bishops failed to crack down on sexual abuse of children by the priests in their dioceses - , I only hope and pray that as the **** hits the fan, the Vatican will intervene and force our clergy to clean up this mess that they allowed to happen because they ignored their duties as our shepherds. There’s no way anyone would be allowed to set foot in Vatican City, in St. Peter’s Basilica, or in any of the churches of the Bishop of Rome’s (the Holy Father’s) diocese of Rome, wearing the scandalously immodest clothes that many parishioners wear when visiting our churches here in the USA.

Maybe what we, the parishioners should do as we are sick and tired of the scandal surrounding us in God’s very house, is to forcefully appeal to our bishops and priests to put an end to the immodesty in our churches, and should our appeals fail at the local level, take our plight all the way to Rome. After all, let’s not forget: it was the laity who raised hell all the way to Rome and forced out the Bishop of Boston of his diocese, because that bishop wouldn’t crack down on the child molesters running free and preying on children in his diocese.

Maybe it’s time for another revolt by us, by the laity. We don’t have to tolerate the sight of people dressed so immodestly that their private parts are falling out from their short shorts, miniskirts, and tank tops. Most especially, we don’t have to tolerate people entering God’s house like that, scandalizing our children and setting a bad example for them. I feel like we should speak out, demand that our priests and bishops enforce modesty everywhere, and if necessary, take our appeals to Rome.

Dear L piperatus,

Cordial greetings and avery good day. Hear, hear, execellent post and my sentiments entirely. We need more of this sort of stuff on these boards. Call a spade a spade, that’s what I like.

God bless you, dear friend.

Warmest good wishes,

Portrait

Pax

 

[onmyknees]

I always wear a skirt with a sweater, or a dress to Sunday mass because that is how I was taught to dress for mass when I was young. We knew we were in God’s house and would be receiving Jesus in the Eucharist.
But sadly now I feel like I stick out because almost everyone is in jeans, sweatshirt jackets, or some other kind of casual clothes. Sometimes I wonder if I should stop dressing up and just wear what everyone does so I don’t call attention to myself.

I try to focus on the mass and look up at the crucifix but last Christmas Vigil these four young ladies were sitting on the chairs right against the wall just a few feet across from me. I couldn’t concentrate on the mass very well because they were laughing, talking and eating and when I saw how they were dressed, like hookers! Really! Major cleavage showing, short short, tight tight skirts with high high heels. Maybe they were? Or just coming from a party no doubt. I guess they should come as they are I felt sorry for our priest when they all came up for communion

 

[Bonjovie]

You stated many parishes in your state have banned trousers? Are these diocesan parishes or SSPX/SSPV? Does that mean the men wear robes? If they don’t, why are only the women banned from wearing pants? Jesus, the Apostles, and all the OT men
wore robes and tunics, not pants…modesty is one thing…this banning of bifurcated material on women is another!

The point I am trying to make which has been missed obviously, is that the Parish priests although aware of the mind of the Church concerning clothing worn by the faithful still reserve the authority to make certain “laws” as they deem necessary. The priests are very much aware that trousers are not condemned by the Church, the wave of indecency especially in those Parishes where there are mainly students, or the ethnic mentality of many parishioners who feel that trousers are indecent and can be done away with have led them to make these laws. Trousers were once no problem in my school parish, for example. Yes, they are diocesan parishes.
I have no problem whatsoever with any kind of clothing as long as it is decent.
P.S The priest has the authority to refuse communion where there is evidence of disrespect for the sacredness of the eucharist. You wouldn’t expect a priest to give a 4yr old communion would you? He’s obviously unable to appreciate the sacrament. So for a child, so for an obstinately immodestly dressed person.
The Church is one. Indecency is wrong everywhere, and all Catholics should obey the Church’s directives on mode of dressing in the spirit of obedience and love for God and neighbour. Anything short of that is selfishness or ignorance and neither are acceptable. God keep you all.

 

[Bonjovie]

Maybe before anyone tries to “rigorously enforce” anything, they should charitably suggest, explaining the reasons as to why they feel the way they do about it. I highly doubt that “rigorously enforcing” will help those who do not dress according to your standards come to Mass dressed as you want them to be. It is all too likely that there will be those among them who simply stop coming to Mass at all. And, as others have said, it realy is better that they be there than not. Sure, it would be better if they were there and not wearing overly-revealing clothing, but if the options are being there as is or not being there at all, it really is better that they be there. You want to be very careful about becoming the stumbling block that drives them away from the church.

I am so disappointed at the way the comments go that if you enforce laws some people will stop coming. Since when do we allow numbers to shut up our mouths? Are we going to watch the Body of Christ become compatible with the bodies of harlots (remembering what St. Paul said). It is a choice everyone of those who dress indecently will have to make. Who do you love, Jesus the Christ or your beautifully yet shamelessly displayed bodies? Christ never allowed himself to be accused of impurity or unchastity. Those who WISH to be His followers can afford no less. “If you love Me, keep my commandments”. We are not even giving the Holy Spirit any credit by such statements. He can touch any heart. Our duty is to let people know the Truth. The rest (whether they keep coming or whether they convert) is up to God. If they come to church everyday without being told anything or hearing the beauty of modesty in everything preached, how will they believe? And, believe it or not, there are some people who won’t stop until you put your foot down. Even if they don’t like it, at least they will know that to be a catholic these are the views you must have of the use of the body and dress. They make their choice. The Church has never been famous for keeping silent while evil threatens or thrives. Let her not start now. We are the members of this Church. It is up to each one of us. We will be held responsible for all the good we refused to do. Besides, correction with love and good reason always hits the mark. They may call the Church unreasonable, or whatever, but they will realise that she intends to practise what she preaches, or in this case, preach what she must practise.

 

[thewanderer]

I am so disappointed at the way the comments go that if you enforce laws some people will stop coming. Since when do we allow numbers to shut up our mouths? Are we going to watch the Body of Christ become compatible with the bodies of harlots (remembering what St. Paul said). It is a choice everyone of those who dress indecently will have to make. Who do you love, Jesus the Christ or your beautifully yet shamelessly displayed bodies? Christ never allowed himself to be accused of impurity or unchastity. Those who WISH to be His followers can afford no less. “If you love Me, keep my commandments”. We are not even giving the Holy Spirit any credit by such statements. He can touch any heart. Our duty is to let people know the Truth. The rest (whether they keep coming or whether they convert) is up to God. If they come to church everyday without being told anything or hearing the beauty of modesty in everything preached, how will they believe? And, believe it or not, there are some people who won’t stop until you put your foot down. Even if they don’t like it, at least they will know that to be a catholic these are the views you must have of the use of the body and dress. They make their choice. The Church has never been famous for keeping silent while evil threatens or thrives. Let her not start now. We are the members of this Church. It is up to each one of us. We will be held responsible for all the good we refused to do. Besides, correction with love and good reason always hits the mark. They may call the Church unreasonable, or whatever, but they will realise that she intends to practise what she preaches, or in this case, preach what she must practise.

Please reread what I actually wrote and allow me to finish and expand on my thought. My point is not that the church should remain silent, but simply that the first step should not be some ‘vigorous enforcement’. If the churn begins by talking with these propel charitably encouraging, even strongly encouraging them to change their dress for mass, the people will be much more aware that there is a problem. Sure some people will never change unless they are given rules they have to follow. Eventually it can come to a matter of putting such rules in place, but it is the dialogue, not the rules that should come first.
Also, even if a parish does finally decide to put rules in, they must be very careful about the application of those rules. As was pointed out earlier in this thread, sometimes people come to a church seeking meaning in their lives who are not goin to always be following the dress code set up by a church. Such people need welcome and kindness to help bring them into the church. If the dress code is being ‘vigorously enforced’ and one o these people comes to the church and gets turned away because of their dress it is quite possible that they would give up on the church entirely. So one must be vey careful. In the parable of the lost sheep we are shown the importance of saving even one soul. This is an important thing to consider. Even if a dress code exists, there must above all be charity and understanding extended to all.

 

[L_piperatus]

Please reread what I actually wrote and allow me to finish and expand on my thought. My point is not that the church should remain silent, but simply that the first step should not be some ‘vigorous enforcement’. If the churn begins by talking with these propel charitably encouraging, even strongly encouraging them to change their dress for mass, the people will be much more aware that there is a problem. Sure some people will never change unless they are given rules they have to follow. Eventually it can come to a matter of putting such rules in place, but it is the dialogue, not the rules that should come first.
Also, even if a parish does finally decide to put rules in, they must be very careful about the application of those rules. As was pointed out earlier in this thread, sometimes people come to a church seeking meaning in their lives who are not goin to always be following the dress code set up by a church. Such people need welcome and kindness to help bring them into the church. If the dress code is being ‘vigorously enforced’ and one o these people comes to the church and gets turned away because of their dress it is quite possible that they would give up on the church entirely. So one must be vey careful. In the parable of the lost sheep we are shown the importance of saving even one soul. This is an important thing to consider. Even if a dress code exists, there must above all be charity and understanding extended to all.

Thewanderer, your point on the need for charity is well taken, but charity is actually perfectly compatible with a rigorous enforcement of the dress code.

That’s exactly what’s happening in Vatican City - people who show up immodestly dressed are told charitably that their shoulders must be covered, their pants/dresses/skirts must be long enough to cover their knees, AND they are also told to please come back dressed appropriately. So, the Swiss Guards stop anyone who is not dressed appropriately from entering Vatican City, but they do it by charitably admonishing the person about the actions they need to take in order to fix their appearance and to become eligible for gaining entrance into the Vatican City, which includes St. Peter’s Basilica, St. Peter’s Square, the Vatican Museum, and so on.

Of course, the Swiss Guards act according to the instructions of the Pope. Both our Holy Fathers Benedict XVI and John Paul II before him instructed the Swiss Guards to deny entrance to people dressed inappropriately, thus this policy of “no entrance unless dressed appropriately” was set by the highest and most authoritative level of the Catholic Church’s leadership.

I don’t see any problem and any controversy in telling people who are not dressed appropriately, in a charitable manner and respectful tone, to please cover their shoulders, put on some pants or skirts that are long enough to cover their knees, and please come back because they are welcome to visit our churches, with the only condition that their dress should be in compliance with the Catholic Church’s rules of modesty. I simply don’t see how would that turn away a reasonable person from the Church - quite to the contrary, it would inspire more respect towards the Church, and a feeling that this is a decent and safe place to visit, where the Church is preoccupied with protecting people from being exposed to indecent and scandalous sights.

 

[thewanderer]

Thewanderer, your point on the need for charity is well taken, but charity is actually perfectly compatible with a rigorous enforcement of the dress code.

That’s exactly what’s happening in Vatican City - people who show up immodestly dressed are told charitably that their shoulders must be covered, their pants/dresses/skirts must be long enough to cover their knees, AND they are also told to please come back dressed appropriately. So, the Swiss Guards stop anyone who is not dressed appropriately from entering Vatican City, but they do it by charitably admonishing the person about the actions they need to take in order to fix their appearance and to become eligible for gaining entrance into the Vatican City, which includes St. Peter’s Basilica, St. Peter’s Square, the Vatican Museum, and so on.

Of course, the Swiss Guards act according to the instructions of the Pope. Both our Holy Fathers Benedict XVI and John Paul II before him instructed the Swiss Guards to deny entrance to people dressed inappropriately, thus this policy of “no entrance unless dressed appropriately” was set by the highest and most authoritative level of the Catholic Church’s leadership.

I don’t see any problem and any controversy in telling people who are not dressed appropriately, in a charitable manner and respectful tone, to please cover their shoulders, put on some pants or skirts that are long enough to cover their knees, and please come back because they are welcome to visit our churches, with the only condition that their dress should be in compliance with the Catholic Church’s rules of modesty. I simply don’t see how would that turn away a reasonable person from the Church - quite to the contrary, it would inspire more respect towards the Church, and a feeling that this is a decent and safe place to visit, where the Church is preoccupied with protecting people from being exposed to indecent and scandalous sights.

I guess what I’m thinking about is at a typical parish, there are many regular parisheners who see nothing wrong with the way that they currently dress. If you want to bring in a dress code it would be much more appropriate to first have a period of time wherein the priest kindly and charitably (as in not in a way that makes anybody feel singled out as if the sermon is being preached specifically at them) asks and encourages his parisheners to come to Mass according to, say, the standards the vatican holds for Mass, and, only if after a period of time the parish hasn’t picked up this idea then it could be brought in as a rule. It is much better to have people follow a dress code because they understand the reason for it and have taken it upon themselves to follow it rather than if they follow it grudgingly because it is a rule that has been imposed upon them by a priest who they might begin to see as “outdated” or “out of touch with the real world”, which can cause them to resent their pastor whom they should respect.

 

[SecretaryMonday]

I may wear (nice) jeans to daily Mass, but I try to dress “better” on Sundays, and I often wear a ladies’ hat. Much of my go-to-church training came down through my meticulous fashion-conscious Presbyterian grandmother; for holidays she sometimes gave her granddaughters pretty Sunday dresses with matching hats and gloves, and even though she could be very cruel, I’ve always associated ladyhood and proper Christian attire with her.

 

[Vatican2Rocks]

Jesus is half naked on the cross. that’s one way to answer self-righteous fashion and modesty snobs.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

Jesus is half naked on the cross. that’s one way to answer self-righteous fashion and modesty snobs.

That wouldn’t be a very polite or an appropriate answer, though. Are you implying that people should come ‘half naked’ to Mass to show some kind of 'solidarity with Jesus"?

Isn’t it just a little**** judgmental to make a blanket statement labeling an entire group of people ‘self-righteous fashion and modesty SNOBS?’ I mean, let’s be fair now. You wouldn’t care to have people refer to you as a 'self-righteous fashion and modesty SLOB" would you? I certainly would never label an individual or a group as such. I might perhaps offer a gently worded opinion of my own but it would not be very helpful to go into a discussion with a huge chip on my shoulder, having already sliced, diced, and slammed the ‘opposition’ as ‘self righteous fashion and modesty snobs’ as though that is the sum total of everything that every person who addresses the issue feels and thinks. . .

Far better IMO would be a statement like “I personally think the idea of some people on appropriate dress isn’t correct because I don’t think Jesus cares.” That would be the kind of assessment that is both gentle and would give you a reason to support your feeling. People might still disagree with you (which is fine so long as they’re polite about it) but at least you would be asserting a logical position based on your opinion.