If the law forces people to live together, is that (strictly speaking) a moral force, or just a legal force?This has been my take for a long time now, every time someone trots out the fewer divorces number, I have to come back and say there are also fewer marriages and higher rates of out of wedlock births.
I don’t think there is anyone left but hermits and the Amish who didn’t either go thru their own divorce or experience it as a parent, child, sibling, other relative or friend of a divorced person. There’s a reason I always pray for the children whenever I hear about a couple in trouble or already in process, for they are always the ones most affected by the decisions their parents take. The UMC have it better in general as do Catholics, but even their rates are nothing to crow about and it is always in the back of my head when I meet someone and think I might want to take her seriously. Because in today’s culture, **there is no moral force **holding people together except that which is between their ears.
Both legal and moral. Divorce rates were far lower before the first no fault law was signed by Governor Reagan. Further, the shame associated with out of wedlock births once formed a sizable part of our morality. Pandora’s box has long since been opened and there won’t be any closing it barring a cultural reset which I don’t see happening anytime soon. In the meantime, I and many I know see the fallout and do our best to deal with it.If the law forces people to live together, is that (strictly speaking) a moral force, or just a legal force?
That could be a function of the lower testosterone present in large numbers of young men. That’s been discussed at length in at least one other thread at CAF that I know about. Might search for that rather than derail this thread.By the way, it is an interesting fact that young people today are both a) less prone to adultery than their elders and b) have fewer sexual partners than Baby Boomers.
foxnews.com/lifestyle/2017/07/30/millennials-cheat-less-than-their-parents-according-to-research.html
Or a growing number of men recognize that while a good marriage is rewarding, a bad one is destructive on many levels. Between the risks of false allegations, the risks of child support payments, the way many women interact with men, and the availability of many other fulfilling activities/hobbies I’d say that a growing number of men don’t see dating as being “worth it”.That could be a function of the lower testosterone present in large numbers of young men. That’s been discussed at length in at least one other thread at CAF that I know about. Might search for that rather than derail this thread.
…or they’re still living with their parents and aren’t in a position to have a separate household.Or a growing number of men recognize that while a good marriage is rewarding, a bad one is destructive on many levels. Between the risks of false allegations, the risks of child support payments, the way many women interact with men, and the availability of many other fulfilling activities/hobbies I’d say that a growing number of men don’t see dating as being “worth it”.
Tying in with this, with an increase in low paid insecure work and state benifits and better support for single mothers a lot of the incentive for a woman to settle down with and commit to a man in these circumstances has gone. I’m not saying it’s wrong to support women and children and I definately wouldnt want a return to the days of taking children from unwed mothers but it does put these men in a worse position.…or they’re still living with their parents and aren’t in a position to have a separate household.
"In 2005, only 25 percent of those between the ages of 18 and 34 lived with their parents; today, that number is 34 percent. The number of young Americans living independently of their parents stands at 40.7 percent, down more than 10 percentage points from a decade ago.
"Today, more people between the ages of 18 and 34 live with their parents, 22.9 million, than live with a spouse, 19.9 million. In 1975, more than twice as many people in the same age group lived with a spouse (31.9 million) than with their parents (14.7 million).
“The declines in independent living are especially pronounced in states like Arizona, Florida, Nevada and Oregon, all places where the recession cratered both the job and housing markets. Home ownership rates have plummeted, too: In 1975, almost 52 percent of those between 25 and 34 owned their own home. Today, just 28.8 percent do.”
thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/330279-more-millennials-living-with-parents
We had a marriage and family class in HS, and the priest stressed permanence. So, did my mom and dad. I quote, “You better be making the right decision, because there is no going back.”In real life, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that as an explanation. (I believe that one went out of fashion in the 1980s, although no doubt somebody still says it.)
There tends to be pretty spectacular misbehavior before a divorce–infidelity and abandonment, looting the family finances, other financial misconduct, mental illness, etc.
So, there is some point to: “communication, finances, prayer, fighting, parenting, in-laws” and if anything, people don’t get enough training in those areas.
Me neither. Often they do it to be in the limelight…not out of true selflessness.I’m personally not impressed by a couple that spends all their time at church–if anything that could be cutting into their time as a couple or as a family.
There’s more to having a good marriage than going to church a lot.
So, no, it doesn’t amaze me if a couple that was always doing ministry stuff splits.