A (not so) simple night with a coworker

[JustinK]

I agree that much of the world opposes religion. I think the best way to go about living one’s faith is through action. Then, hopefully people will see our actions and maybe that will make them ask some questions about what the other person believes and why.

I recognize the inherant clash that will come about if I bring religion up to most people. But if I don’t, that’s hiding something about myself that means something to me. This is where I tend to struggle sometimes. I try to make someone see something in the way that I see it. So they can understand where I’m coming from. But you can’t make anyone see anything. I’m realizing that certain understanding comes with time.

It’s true. Not everyone likes the same things. Not everyone is going to agree. There will always be compromises within relationships. I’m trying to separate being friends and being too clingy as you say. For now, being friends is fantastic. I personally don’t think I’m ready for another relationship just yet. I have a LOT of soul searching to do before considering working towards something with somebody else. Though it can be lonely, sometimes.

Thanks for your reply.

 

[JustinK]

This is something to reflect on.

For whatever reason, I tend to focus on ‘fixing’ other people’s problems. My sister has the same trait. It can be good at times, but mostly it’s a downfall.

Seeing the good in something is admirable. And I shouldn’t want to change someone into what I would like them to be. Because then they aren’t them.

You mentioned earlier that I should figure out if she builds me up as a human being. I believe that she does. She gives good advice, is fun to be around, and is easy to talk to. However, we also have differences of opinion regarding beliefs and such. This is where my thinking takes over and I start to wonder if it’s even anything worth pursuing. But the human person in me, the emotional part of me, recognizes that she could simply be fun to hang out with.

Like I said, this gave me something to reflect on.

Thank you.

 

[JustinK]

I agree that you should be able to be yourself.

One of my fears is that she’d reject that part of me. However, she has made remarks regarding that she doesn’t care what someone believes in. So, that’s good to know. But I still might want to offer a discussion about things that I believe. I know she’s not fond of people pushing their beliefs on her, though. This gives me pause.

I heard something the other night that when you go on a first date, you don’t want to lay everything on the table. You want to gradually build-up to discussions about who you are. At the same time, I think you’d risk a lot more if you fall for someone and then find out one little detail and all of the sudden it changes everything. I think I’d want to know as much as I can going into something before going into it. But this also messes with spontaneity, which can give rise to new and exciting experiences.

I agree about the wedding thing. Being shy doesn’t really do much in the way of meeting people. But I did learn a lot about certain social cues that night. I mean, looks are appealing and one of the first things that we notice with people. But they fade away. I have certain aesthetics that I enjoy regarding clothing, colors, and style, but I’d rather be attracted to their personality and soul.

That’s the good thing about being friends. You can keep your heart a safe distance away while still enjoying the company of the person.

Thank you for your reply.

 

[JustinK]

I have been talking with friends and family about things recently.

My brother gave me some good advice: It’s better to be alone with yourself than be alone with someone else. That you shouldn’t change someone, but the relationship changes and grows.

My friends tell me to try to do more so that everything isn’t so overwhelming to me when it happens. Have friends, go out, play games, have fun. They’re trying to not make me overthink things or be so black and white. I’m sick of thinking to the point where everything feels pointless and I have to change that.

My friend told me that she thinks that I’m a little old for her and is weary about the workplace relationship thing. But she likes my company and feels like like I’d be fully committed if I’m in a relationship with someone. He said that’s a good compliment.

My coworker found out last night that it’s okay to have relationships at work, we just can’t be on the same shift. I noticed that she was talking about me with one of her friends. I don’t know, she might be thinking about things.

I found out I’m still not completely over my ex, though. I dreamt about her last night. My friends keep telling me how long it’s been since we’ve talked, but it sometimes feels like it happened yesterday. I keep thinking that if I knew then what I do now, especially in relation to this same advice, maybe it might have been better. But I have to keep moving forward and keep ‘figuring myself out’.

Music has been a good way to work through things. I want to start learning piano and get more into signing. My brother has been wanting me to get a new computer so that I can play games with him.

It’s all about life moving forward and learning as you go, I guess. I have no idea when I’ll know that I have myself figured out enough to pursue anything, though. This is what keeps me stuck.

All things in time.