A PERSONAL insight while praying the Our Father [Edited title]

[RubyT]

What is in ones heart during prayer is what matters. What others are doing (with the positions of their body) is of no significance. That said, each person should position themselves according to whatever they feel is right for them. Love each other no matter what and take no offense if someone does not hold your hand. They were in church, they were praying, they were worshipping the same God as you. Certainly you would not want them to feel pressured to hold hands. Some folks just have weird phobias. At least they were there praying with all of you.

God Bless You.

 

[grandfather]

Please, this is not meant to stir up a huge Should/Should not debate on whether we should hold hands during the Our Father. I would just like to share a personal revelation I had last week at Daily Mass.

 

[the_phoenix]

About 30 of us joined hands while praying the Our Father, One lady though, kept her hands folded in prayer (which I have no objection to). What struck me was how Protestant (no offense meant and please remember this is just what came to my mind) her actions were.

I respect those who wish not to hold hands, but at the same time, I feel a bit saddened to what I preserve as a separation. Personally, I gain so much more strength and love from holding hands with fellow believers.

Possible reasons why the one lady kept her hands folded in prayer rather than holding hands during the Our Father:

1. Maybe she’s on the autism spectrum, which includes people of high IQ as well as low IQ. Often, you can’t tell by just looking if someone has Asperger’s Syndrome, for example, which for some people means that the sensation of being touched can trigger stress of the flight-or-fight variety and is therefore unpleasant.
2. Maybe she has arthritis which makes it acutely painful to hold hands with people who may exert too much pressure.
3. Maybe she has a cold, or feels like she’s coming down with one.
4. Maybe she’s a caregiver who cannot afford to be sick nor to pass on germs to someone in her care with a weakened immune system.
5. Maybe the same people who so eagerly reach for her hand during the Mass are the same people who never say hello outside of Mass nor take the time to get to know her even though she’s been a parishioner for many years and has even volunteered actively in the parish.
6. From my own personal experience, once I sat next to a woman who decided that she would rub globs and globs of greasy and very smelly suntan lotion up and down her bare legs and arms while the priest gave the sermon. (It was summer and she was wearing shorts and looked to be on her way to the beach.) Since I thought I might receive Communion in the hand that day (depending on whether I was in the priest’s line or a Eucharistic minister’s line), there was no way that I wanted a handful of grease at that point in the Mass! (Yes, this really did happen!)
7. Maybe she feels that hand-holding should be reserved to family members or close friends.
8. Maybe she was praying specially for someone.
9. Maybe she simply feels called to pray with her hands folded.
10. Maybe she is in fact not a Catholic but attending Mass because she’s considering joining the Church, and would feel more comfortable at this point being more of an observer.

~~ the phoenix

…
…
… who has no strenuous objection to holding hands during the Our Father, and has even done so at times throughout the years, but would quietly prefer not to, and certainly understands that others may not wish to … for perfectly respectable reasons.

…
…
…

 

[love4mary]

I truly did not intend for this thread to turn into a heated debate concerning the rights/wrongs of hand holding. Plus, as I have been a Catholic for all of 3 1/2 years, there is a tremendous amount I do NOT know.

I most likely did not articulate myself clearly, as I am a better speaker then writter. This is just what “popped” into my head while praying the Our Father, and also as I stated, I certainly meant no dis-respect to any Protestant.

But I still stand by what I said concerning praying the Holy Mass as a community, knowing full good and well that its the SAME Mass when only the priest and ONE worshiper is present.

 

[grandfather]

I
But I still stand by what I said concerning praying the Holy Mass as a community, knowing full good and well that its the SAME Mass when only the priest and ONE worshiper is present.

Should they hold hands?

 

[Sarabande]

But I still stand by what I said concerning praying the Holy Mass as a community, knowing full good and well that its the SAME Mass when only the priest and ONE worshiper is present.

I think you’ll find that many people would agree with you that when Catholics do attend mass together, they do it as a community since they are all in a holy house of God. At the same time, they are also praying individually even when they are all together since when we are at mass, we will all individually make our own prayer to God while focusing on Him and the Holy Eucharist within our hearts and souls. We don’t express what we are praying out loud, thus making it an individual prayer.

I think one of the things which needs to be asked is if the physical gesture of holding a person’s hand is necessary to feel as one with God and the people around you. Perhaps to some people it does, such as with you. To others, it doesn’t and that physical gesture can actually detract from their focus on God and even to some extent, what they believe to be a real communal unity with God.

Like I said, I don’t care if other people hold hands during the Lord’s Prayer. I think I do understand what you are trying to say, but I can’t see or believe how it makes it more special or more communal in terms of making it a stronger community or stronger in prayer while at mass. If it did, I would think that the Church would not be discouraging us from employing this practice. And most of us who don’t hold hands already view attending mass as a community with both communal and individual prayer in both recitation and song.

I’m not trying to make this a hot and heavy debate either. I’m just trying to break my own thoughts down and trying to look at this without letting my feelings get in the way.

 

[mullenpm]

Personal Revelation - wow, those are pretty strong words.

Do you think that very probably you just got that thought in your head because someone did not join hands with you and you elevated that thought to ‘revelation.’

I personally do not like to hold hands and I also do not like the outstretched hands in imitation of the Priest during the Lord’s Prayer.

I concentrate on what is happening at the Altar and I don’t really pay much attention to who is next to me in the pew.

I hardly consider that being anti-communal. I am there to worship God, not have a social outing.

:grouphug:

 

[lizaanne]

Personal Revelation - wow, those are pretty strong words.

Do you think that very probably you just got that thought in your head because someone did not join hands with you and you elevated that thought to ‘revelation.’

Did you read her last comment? She corrected herself and said this was something that just “popped” into her head. I believe she misspoke and corrected the statement. I think we can all move along now with the “personal revelation” statement.

~Liza

 

[Kolbelover]

hand holding is not allowed…it’s not in the GIRM and Cardinal Arinze has specifically prohibited it

that said… Charity and Love should prevail. The other day, a woman sitting in front of me (and by herself) reached behind to hold my hand during the Our Father… although I do not like the practice, I took her hand…who knows? Maybe she needed that moment of communion?

of course, that for me is the issue: hand-holding is an intimate sign of communion…not of reconciliation (as the Our father professes)…the rubrics allow for the fullest expression of that communion DURING COMMUNION!!!

besides…hand-holding renders the Sign of Peace as a bit redundant, IMO…

 

[KathleenElsie]

love4mary;4234052:

If you use the term personal revelation people might think you are claiming this thought came from God. Don’t you mean that a certain idea came to mind, maybe out of your own mental faculties? Do you honestly think God told you not holding hands is Protestant?

She was following the proper practice of the Catohlic Church. The rest of you were following some local custom, a folk practice. So how were her actions Protestant?

Who called us to worship as a Community (capitalC)? What does that even mean? We join together in prayer. We life one voice. So holding hands makes a group a Community, more than not? Why not hold hands for the entire Mass? Wouldn’t that make us all feel even more like a community? Maybe we should all place our arms over one another’s shoulders and around one another’s wastes. That would make us even closer.

How is that? Was this part of your personal revelation from God?

What makes us one is the one chalice, the one Holy Communion, the one sacrifice, the Person who condescends to the altar who feeds us of Himself. Holding hands has nothing to do with spiritual communion or unity, zilch.

Its all in your head.

The practice of holding hands was introduced to the local parish quite a few years ago by a then new pastor. He instructed everyone to hold hands as soon as he came to town. Of course he had no authority to do that, but most people complied. He inhtroduced several other novel practices as well. A few years later he was suspended, not for taking liberties with the liturgy, but other kinds, more serious crimes. The diocese paid off the paintifs several million. So when I go to this parish and see all the hand holders, guess who it brings to mind?

Do you raise your hands together at the end of the prayer, the Protestant part about kingdom, power and glory?

Good post.

I remain mostly silent at the end of the prayer, the Protestant part others have noticed and asked me about this. I just say I am old and follow the old ways.