So, if you are willing, tell me what is the official definition of “love”?
Ok, “challenge” accepted! I doubt I’ll be able to explain it well, but I want to try, Hopefully others will give their insights here, because this is all too deep.
I just ask that you keep your mind and heart open, because this is something very difficult to understand at first, or to notice in our day-to-day lives. Just to reinforce: we are not against you, just trying to explain our views. If you will accept or not later, is up to you. However, you’ll then know what we think, and you’ll be able to understand how we feel (hopefully).
As to it all being official… hardly you’ll find it quoted somewhere in the CCC as “This is love”, but you can understand love from those teachings.
I have seen the definition of “Love is willing the good of another”. Is this precise? The definition I would use is slightly different: “Love is acting in the best interest of others”.
The first definition is right, albeit too broad (and, thus, doesn’t explain much). It was St.T.Aquinas who said it, so you have to understand what he meant. Your definition is almost the same, just worded differently. Both are right, but we need to understand what they mean under a Catholic point of view.
So, let’s start! (this will be long winded)
I think the best definition of love is Charity. For the Greeks (the 4 types of love), the love we mean would be Agape, which relates directly to Charity. Charity explains where love comes from and towards what it is directed. On the CCC:
1822 Charity is the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for his own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God.
Here we can already see some things. One, that we love God above all things. This means that we love Him over our parents, siblings, friends and spouses, and even over ourselves.
The second is that we love our neighbors (parents, siblings, etc), for HIS sake as well! We love others because, by doing that,
we are loving God. More than prayers, the best way to honor, glorify and love God is to love His creation.
God says that “love is the greatest thing there is” (1 Cor 13: 13), and we also know that “God is love,” (1 John 1:8).
So, this is the first step: Love is directed at God. Always.
You can’t have love if God is not involved in some way. (and this is important information, keep a note!)
Which brings us to Jesus:
"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ "But I say to you,** love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you**,…] (Matthew 5:43-44)
Here we see something peculiar, that makes love (charity/agape) distinct from love (storge, philia, eros). “Love your enemies” makes things a bit clearer as to what He meant by “love”. Better yet, what He
didn’t mean by it.
Here is why Christ’s definition is distinct from yours, for example:
In my secular understanding love is a positive emotion… which MUST be expressed in ACTIONS, otherwise it is meaningless utterance. The “emotion” is not the result of volition.
You got it all pretty much perfect, spot on, except for the emotional part. Emotion has nothing to do with love. And for nothing I mean nothing. It may be a result of love, sure, but never necessary for it. It can
perfect your love, but love exists
despite your emotions.
Our good actions (love) stem from emotion when we
love our family (storge), for example. We have affection for them, and our “liking” them moves us into doing them good. This is natural love, and this is EASY.
But Jesus didn’t want easy. He wanted
more. Continuing from the previous quote:
“For if you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Do not even the tax collectors do as much? And if you save your greetings for your brothers, are you doing anything exceptional? Do not even the gentiles do as much? You must therefore be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.’” (Matthew 5:46-48)
From this we get that the motivation to love doesn’t come from “liking”, for when it comes from emotions (natural love) there is nothing supernatural to it. We don’t necessarily feel good emotions for our enemies, much less their actions, but we are called to love them either way - that love, the “Christian love”, is Charity (agape)
The CCC defines love-emotion as well:
1771 The term “passions” refers to the affections or the feelings. By his emotions man intuits the good and suspects evil.
1772 The principal passions are love and hatred, desire and fear, joy, sadness, and anger.
1773 In the passions, as movements of the sensitive appetite, there is neither moral good nor evil. But insofar as they engage reason and will, there is moral good or evil in them.
1774 Emotions and feelings can be taken up in the virtues or perverted by the vices.
As we can see, emotions are
neither good nor evil, and this we will see in a bit with animals as well. Emotions can be “perverted by the vices”, while the Love we mean, can’t:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor 13:4-7)
Point being: Christian love isn’t an emotion. Greeks called it Agape, we call it Charity. When we say “God is love”, then, we mean that God is the source of Charity, and not emotions.