A Question for Muslims.

[Kitsune633]

I have a question for you Muslims.

When you divorce from your wife (Or wives if it applies) who retains custody of the son/daughter? The divorced mother or the father retains custody of the son/daughter?

 

[Noesis]

Forgive me for responding to this despite not being a Muslim.

If you begin reading from section 8 of this link, then I think you will find an extensive explanation of the answer you’re looking for.

 

[jakasaki]

I have a question for you Muslims.

When you divorce from your wife (Or wives if it applies) who retains custody of the son/daughter? The divorced mother or the father retains custody of the son/daughter?

The father gets them - mothers in islam have just about zero rights.

 

[Kitsune633]

The father gets them - mothers in islam have just about zero rights.

Now that’s what I don’t truely understand. From a viewpoint, the mother is the one who feeds the child, educates the child, disciplines the child, and of course cares for the child. It’s maternal instinct but how can a Muslim man raise the child? I mean, sure, depending on his Islamic School of Thought, if he has many wives, she’ll raise them, but wouldn’t the child feel threatned by a woman who is not her mother? And is there proof that the son/daughter actually belongs to the father? Can a Muslim man raise a child more bettter than the woman he divorced?

 

[elwill]

firstly , those who have no knowledge , just shut up

Inherently, Islamic system balances between multitude levels of child(ren)’s need. In recognition of an infant’s need for female care, all the juristic schools give first preference to a mother’s claim to physical custody of her young child provided that she satisfies all the requirements for a female custodian. After divorce during the period of the mother’s custody, she is generally entitled to receive custody wages from the father to help her maintain the child. Islamic Jurisprudential inferences Islamic law on custody of children after divorce is based on several hadith relating to how the Prophet sallalahu Alaihe wasallam dealt with cases brought before him.
One of the key relevant hadith is the following: According to Amr Ibn Shu’aib, a woman came to the Prophet* and said: ‘Truly my belly served as a container for my son here, and my breast served as a skin-bag for him (to drink out of) and my bosom served as a refuge for him; and now his father has divorced me, and he (also) desires to take him away from me.’ The Prophet sallalahu Alaihe wasallam said: 'You have a better right to have him, as long as you do not marry again.

Hadith: Ibn Majah The mother is recognised as generally the fittest person to take care of the children, because of the instinctive love and tenderness she feels for them and her closer contact with them throughout pregnancy, nursing, and childhood. However, if the mother marries again she would generally forfeit her right to custody. However, the period of female custody ends once the child reaches a certain age of custodial transfer.

islamic-sharia.org/children/islamic-perspective-on-child-custody-after-divorce.html

 

[Kitsune633]

firstly , those who have no knowledge , just shut up

Inherently, Islamic system balances between multitude levels of child(ren)’s need. In recognition of an infant’s need for female care, all the juristic schools give first preference to a mother’s claim to physical custody of her young child provided that she satisfies all the requirements for a female custodian. After divorce during the period of the mother’s custody, she is generally entitled to receive custody wages from the father to help her maintain the child. Islamic Jurisprudential inferences Islamic law on custody of children after divorce is based on several hadith relating to how the Prophet sallalahu Alaihe wasallam dealt with cases brought before him.
One of the key relevant hadith is the following: According to Amr Ibn Shu’aib, a woman came to the Prophet* and said: ‘Truly my belly served as a container for my son here, and my breast served as a skin-bag for him (to drink out of) and my bosom served as a refuge for him; and now his father has divorced me, and he (also) desires to take him away from me.’ The Prophet sallalahu Alaihe wasallam said: 'You have a better right to have him, as long as you do not marry again.

Hadith: Ibn Majah The mother is recognised as generally the fittest person to take care of the children, because of the instinctive love and tenderness she feels for them and her closer contact with them throughout pregnancy, nursing, and childhood. However, if the mother marries again she would generally forfeit her right to custody. However, the period of female custody ends once the child reaches a certain age of custodial transfer.

islamic-sharia.org/children/islamic-perspective-on-child-custody-after-divorce.html

It is truely confusing with so MANY schools of thought and yet the conditions differ but the one doesn’t change: “If the mother remarries, she loses custody.” Well how can a Muslim man and his brand new wife raise that child!? Or is that the child of the previous marriage will have to be taken care of by the new wife who is also expected to care for the children that come out of her. If the mother remarries, what does the father fear? That the child will be raised in a different manner? Afraid that the child will not recognize the divorced man as his father? Because by reading all this ElWill, I can say there’s a hidden male supremacy agenda. “If she remarries, she loses the custody of her child.”

 

[elwill]

It is truely confusing with so MANY schools of thought and yet the conditions differ but the one doesn’t change: “If the mother remarries, she loses custody.” Well how can a Muslim man and his brand new wife raise that child!? Or is that the child of the previous marriage will have to be taken care of by the new wife who is also expected to care for the children that come out of her. If the mother remarries, what does the father fear? That the child will be raised in a different manner? Afraid that the child will not recognize the divorced man as his father? Because by reading all this ElWill, I can say there’s a hidden male supremacy agenda. “If she remarries, she loses the custody of her child.”

by reading it also , you can say there’s a hidden female supermacy agenda with another situation ( by considering the entire law you will find out the balance exist in the law )

basically , islam give first preference to a mother’s claim to physical custody of her young child provided that she satisfies all the requirements for a female custodian.
beside
she is generally entitled to receive custody wages from the father to help her maintain the child

so in the most cases actually , it’s female supermacy agenda

just in one case , she may lose this supermacy , that’s if she prefered to marry another man than keeping her child , she have the free will to choice . beside it’s okey if the father allowed her to take them

it gives balance judgment for both of them

 

[Kitsune633]

by reading it also , you can say there’s a hidden female supermacy agenda with another situation ( by considering the entire law you will find out the balance exist in the law )

basically , islam give first preference to a mother’s claim to physical custody of her young child provided that she satisfies all the requirements for a female custodian.
beside
she is generally entitled to receive custody wages from the father to help her maintain the child

so in the most cases actually , it’s female supermacy agenda

just in one case , she may lose this supermacy , that’s if she prefered to marry another man than keeping her child , she have the free will to choice . beside it’s okey if the father allowed her to take them

it gives balance judgment for both of them

Female supremacy agenda? Let me tell you something, in every single country, Islamic or not, the father has to PROVIDE child support no matter what, no excuses whatsover from the father, because that would mean he’s a coward and refuses to accept responsability, you find men like that all over the world. And what if the custody wages are not enough for the maintainance of the child? Who decides how much in Lebanese Pounds, Dinars, Shekles, Egyptian pounds,etc will be paid? Who says this amount or that amount is enough? And what restrisctions say the woman cannot work to support her child?

 

[elwill]

And what if the custody wages are not enough for the maintainance of the child? Who decides how much in Lebanese Pounds, Dinars, Shekles, Egyptian pounds,etc will be paid? Who says this amount or that amount is enough? And what restrisctions say the woman cannot work to support her child?

i think it should to by agreement between the parents , beside these things are relative to the wealth of the father
may be if problems arised concerning this mattar then the judgment of court will decide how to resolve it

 

[Kitsune633]

i think it should to by agreement between the parents , beside these things are relative to the wealth of the father
may be if problems arised concerning this mattar then the judgment of court will decide how to resolve it

Well if it applies to the wealth, well the people at the courts might agree that the divorced woman can find a a job to support her child in case the amount is not enough for the mother or the father does not agree with the terms or conditions.

 

[autdrew]

However, the period of female custody ends once the child reaches a certain age of custodial transfer.

What does this line mean? The mother gets physical custody of a young child due to nursing & bonding but is then taken when the child reaches a certain age?

 

[AlbinoLove]

Peace

 

[autdrew]

Albino,
I have to say that your response had nothing to do with the topic & was quite rude. I am quite certain if someone degraded your “spiritual” beliefs the way you did Islam, you would be rightfully offended. ElWill comes here in a spirit of charity to share his beliefs with others, he deserves the same treatment you wish for yourself.

 

[AlbinoLove]

well I barly get offended because people get offended every day. so i don’t take things in like that.

Spiritualism is not a religion its a connection but i deleted it… I just don’t like how islam permotes some laws it just irks me we are all equal & I dream of peace between all… since we live on the same planet

if you do some research on islam like I have you would also be very startled too because women should have rights & should not be treated like that…

the net is packed with information youtube is a very good start concerning the matter. & I don’t think Elwill was being very nice when he told others to Shut up…

this is the net & freedom of speech is legal not an offense

 

[autdrew]

I have done extensive research on Islam & I did not say I disagreed with you. What I said was your way of putting it was rude. You will not change minds on anything by insulting.
Not to mention this is a Catholic website, discussing non-catholic religions requires charity & sensitivity. This is not a free speech issue, it is basic human kindness.

 

[AlbinoLove]

I have done extensive research on Islam & I did not say I disagreed with you. What I said was your way of putting it was rude. You will not change minds on anything by insulting.
Not to mention this is a Catholic website, discussing non-catholic religions requires charity & sensitivity. This is not a free speech issue, it is basic human kindness.

Ah ok… thanks for clearing that up for me… peace:wink:

 

[elwill]

Well if it applies to the wealth, well the people at the courts might agree that the divorced woman can find a a job to support her child in case the amount is not enough for the mother or the father does not agree with the terms or conditions.

she dosn’t require permission from court nor from her ex-husband to find a job
she can find a job even if the amount of wage is enough

 

[elwill]

However, the period of female custody ends once the child reaches a certain age of custodial transfer.

What does this line mean? The mother gets physical custody of a young child due to nursing & bonding but is then taken when the child reaches a certain age?

i think that it means that when the child become big enough , then he can choose whether to live with his mother or his father .
but while the child is very young , then the mother is the one who will directly take him

 

[qwerk]

she dosn’t require permission from court nor from her ex-husband to find a job she can find a job even if the amount of wage is enough

I take a look at muslim countries and I don’t see that many opportunities for a woman. Most are junky, or very restrictive. And she is restricted in some <MANY!!> areas to pursue a way to make a living, per sharia laws. Some might take the chance and do things they might be considered a bad woman for doing, but they take their lives in their hands. All it takes is one to think that she isn’t being a proper muslim and he can do whatever to her.

Women cannot just roam around freely in some areas either. She has to have the husband, or a male owner’s, permission.

She usually does not have the werewithall to afford a child.

Psychological welfare is usually not a concern in many muslim countries either. Sharia laws say the husband gets the kids and that is that. There are no safe houses, no welfare, none of the infrastructure that the West has made available to women in muslim countries. beating kids is a-ok. there is no cop to call if the kid is getting the crud beat out of him/her.

Here is an article that goes into some of what I am saying. But I can tell you that from books I have read about the muslim problem in Europe, their safe houses are full of abused muslim women. I suspect the children are with the mother. I do not know.

Here is a quote from the aricle that I mentioned:

There is another strong difference between the people of Western and Muslim cultures; their locus of control. Locus of control is a psychological term describing whether people experience their life influenced mainly, by internal or external factors. It is clear from a psychological point of view that Westerners feel that their lives are mainly influenced by inner forces – ourselves. This is reflected in our points of view, our ways of handling our emotions, our ways of thinking, our ways of relating to people around us, our motivation, our surplus, and our way of communicating. These internal factors are what guide our lives and determine if we feel good and self confident or not. Every Western library has several meters of self help books. Every kiosk has dozens of magazines for both women and men that tell us how to create happier and more successful lives for ourselves. Our phone books have columns of addresses for psychologists, coaches and therapists. All these things are aimed at helping us to help ourselves create the life that we want. Some might argue that all this introspectiveness is too much and that just doing what is useful for oneself and others here-and-now would be more constructive, but this is how our culture is.

All these things do not exist in Muslim culture and countries. The very little psychiatry and psychology that is taught, in only a few universities in the Muslim world, is imported from the West. It is mostly taught by teachers educated at Western universities and does not have roots in the Muslim culture.

Most of what I read from muslims are just a denial of what islam brings to their people especially the women and children. And from some of the posts it was down right nasty. islam causes poverty. And that statement was made by some muslim leaders.

 

[qwerk]

I was looking at Sharia laws concerning custody and the mother and the mother’s side of the family are first on the list, then the fathers, then it goes down a huge list depending on circumstances and the sex of the child.

Well, then there is this caveat. m13.2 (a) uprightness and that is defined in o24.4. All a father has to do is say the mother is corrupt and it can be as slight as her not doing the salat. And with the laws skewed in favor of the man, the woman has little to no rights. If a foolish non-muslim marries a muslim man then that foolish person will lose custody. I say foolish because too many non-muslims don’t even have a clue as to what islam is when they marry muslim men.

There is such a thing as ‘love jihad’ in India. And also in the West. The church warns of the love jihad in india and is discussed a bit here in this article.. The Catholic church warned of it here.