First, I want to thank you for your replies. Please keep them coming.
I think that the question is quite complicated. It is true that some christians do not live up their own standards, and it is true that some are hypocrites. The word “hypocrite” means more than simply teaching something, and not practicing it. It also involves a moving goalpost, when someone challenges their belief. Just an example which happened to me several times (of course that does not make it a “general” problem). I will present it in a short, dialog format.
Believer: For those who already believe, no evidence is necessary, for those who do not believe, no evidence is sufficient.
Skeptic: That is not true. Of course there could be sufficient, compelling evidence.
B: What would you find compelling evidence?
S: There could be many. The simplest would be a personal manifestation of God, so we all could ask for clarification of some problems which we find disturbing.
B: But then God would take your freedom away. God does not want to compel you to believe and love him.
S: My beliefs are not under volitional control. If I would actually know that God exists, then I could make a meaningful, informed decision whether to “love” (or worship) him or not.
B: So you would demand God, the creator of the universe to be at your beck and call? Don’t you find this presumptuous?
I hope you see the problem. There is an immediate, personal attack. The skeptic is asked a question, he answers, and then, instead of a civilized continuation… comes a personal attack. Observe, the skeptic does not “demand” anything, merely presents what he, personally would find a compelling solution to his problem. And this kind of dialog is quite frequent. As a matter of fact, I have never seen a different ending.
Of course, there are other problems. There is the “holier than thou” kind of attitude. (Taking a brick and pounding their own chest, while proclaiming: “you see how humble I am”?) There are the child molesting scandals. The problem there is not that there were a handful of “bad apples” (after all the overwhelming majority of the clergy would never do such things!), the problem was the attempt of cover-up. And since that came from the upper echelons of the church, many people find that practice inexcusable. It is justified to hold the bishops and the pope to a much higher standard than the everyday little priest.
Another problem is the church’s attitude toward sexual affairs. It is a huge turn-off for many people. If only the church would say that “people of the same sex also express their love toward each other”, and therefore their relationship cannot be intrinsically evil. If only the church would recognize that sex is more than just a tool for procreation. I know they “say” it is more than that, but then they deny their own words by stipulating that it must be “open to procreation”, no matter what (even if the couple is physically incapable of procreating).
Yet another one is the question of women and their role in the church. A huge turn-off for many people (and not just women). So the problem is complex and complicated.