A very messed up Christian needing advice

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peaceandmercy

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Hey people.

I’d like to start by saying, this is my first post on this forum, i appologise if i’ve posted this on the wrong section.

Basically my situation is a very complex one, i was brought up in what many would consider a strange family where i witnessed a lot of violence, sickness and jealousy from an early age, my father has asperger’s so he’s always come across as very cold and non empathetic, he used to beat up my eldest brother a lot from a young age which in turn destroyed his life, to make matters worse my eldest brother has a serious heath issue, in turn my eldest brother turned into a bully and always gave us a hard time, i as a result became a broken person riddled with mental issue like depression, anxiety, hypochondria, ocd and bdd, i also suffer from a rare form of alopecia which was the last straw for me, i’ve been pretty much house bound for 12 years and have no strength to face this world.

I started attending mass a few months ago (i attended as a child upto the age of 10, no holy communion) since that time i’ve really tried to find God, i’ve listened to the bible up the book of roman’s, i’ve tried watching videos across youtube about God including catholic answers, i’ve prayed and prayed, i’ve even had a sit down with my priest talking about my struggles, i really don’t like to say this but i feel weaker now than i did before going to church, by putting all my eggs in one basket which is what you’re meant to do with God.

With all this suffering and pain including suicidal attempts and thoughts, i have next to no faith, i need a sign.

Thanks in advance people.
 
Here is the advice of one 18 year old Catholic, for whatever it is worth:
Nobody should have to had gone through what you went through but unfortunately it is too often the case in our fallen world, dominated by sin. As a Catholic, we all pray for each other and you have all the saints of the past, present, and future praying you become closer to God in what you are going through.
JK Rowling said that “rock-bottom became the foundation upon which I built my life” and perhaps God wants to take everything out of you in order that He can fill you entirely with himself. The teacher is quiet during the test and we are never closer to God than the hard times when He is asking us to prove our love for Him.
Maybe you were excited about Christianity in the beginning because that was God’s way to remind you that He is here but now it feels harder because, after knowing God you have to love Him. This is the best part but of course the hardest too!
Great trials can make or break you. I’m praying that this one brings you closer to a Father that will never hurt you.
-Teresa tosettheworldonfire.com
 
avgyoungmerican said:
Here is the advice of one 18 year old Catholic, for whatever it is worth:
Nobody should have to had gone through what you went through but unfortunately it is too often the case in our fallen world, dominated by sin. As a Catholic, we all pray for each other and you have all the saints of the past, present, and future praying you become closer to God in what you are going through.
JK Rowling said that “rock-bottom became the foundation upon which I built my life” and perhaps God wants to take everything out of you in order that He can fill you entirely with himself. The teacher is quiet during the test and we are never closer to God than the hard times when He is asking us to prove our love for Him.
Maybe you were excited about Christianity in the beginning because that was God’s way to remind you that He is here but now it feels harder because, after knowing God you have to love Him. This is the best part but of course the hardest too!
Great trials can make or break you. I’m praying that this one brings you closer to a Father that will never hurt you.
-Teresa tosettheworldonfire.com
Click to expand...
I really appeciate your kind words, what i wrote there is basically just a fraction of the horrendous circumstances i’ve faced and am still facing, what really gets to me the most is the fact that i see myself as really ugly, in fact i know i’m ugly, all i can do is compare myself to others in a worse situation, I don’t know why God is allowing me to feel down 24/7 for the best part of 12 years.
 
If Christ underwent unimaginable suffering and humiliation-which He did not have to go through at all-in order that you can be with Him one day, well, He must see something beautiful in you. See that beauty too and you’ll conquer the world. Good luck!
-Teresa
tosettheworldonfire.com
 
avgyoungmerican said:
If Christ underwent unimaginable suffering and humiliation-which He did not have to go through at all-in order that you can be with Him one day, well, He must see something beautiful in you. See that beauty too and you’ll conquer the world. Good luck!
-Teresa
tosettheworldonfire.com
Click to expand...
Thank you so much, means a lot.
 
Archbishop Fulton Sheen used to say this: People today think that if they have issues, there’s something wrong with them. Everyone has issues, no matter the outward appearances. We have a soul, which impels us toward God, and a body, which impels us toward evil. Problems, difficulties, issues, are all natural then, and we would be “abnormal” if we DIDN’T have them. Our Blessed Lord suffered on His Cross. He did this to take our pain and sufferings upon Himself as an offering to God. Only He knows why we must suffer, and some more than others. Whenever Bishop Sheen passed by a hospital, he used to say, “How much suffering is being wasted there at this moment”! He was a man who suffered as well, from physical and psychological pain. When we offer our suffering along with Jesus on the Cross, then our suffering is not in vain. Whether it is offered for the forgiveness of sins, or for the conversion of sinners, or for any legitimate intention, that suffering offered in union with His suffering on Calvary is efficacious. Your attendance at Mass is a beautiful offering. Our Blessed Lord will pour His perfect grace upon you every time, even if you cannot partake of Holy Communion at present. Pray the Anima Christi (Soul of Christ) prayer during Communion, and always remember you are welcome and you are loved.
 
avgyoungmerican said:
Here is the advice of one 18 year old Catholic, for whatever it is worth:
Nobody should have to had gone through what you went through but unfortunately it is too often the case in our fallen world, dominated by sin. As a Catholic, we all pray for each other and you have all the saints of the past, present, and future praying you become closer to God in what you are going through.
JK Rowling said that “rock-bottom became the foundation upon which I built my life” and perhaps God wants to take everything out of you in order that He can fill you entirely with himself. The teacher is quiet during the test and we are never closer to God than the hard times when He is asking us to prove our love for Him.
Maybe you were excited about Christianity in the beginning because that was God’s way to remind you that He is here but now it feels harder because, after knowing God you have to love Him. This is the best part but of course the hardest too!
Great trials can make or break you. I’m praying that this one brings you closer to a Father that will never hurt you.
-Teresa tosettheworldonfire.com
Click to expand...
A bit off of the intent of the original thread, but Teresa, if this is a trial membership. please continue. Your response shows a marvelous maturity beyond your years. We need more contributors like yourself.

Shalom
 
May I suggest that you read about the lives of the saints? More than a few had their purgatory here on earth. Everything is ‘fixable’ with Christ. Memories do not get erased, but hopefully they become ‘teaching’ and grace events for our selves and others.
You had a very bad life experience, but you can rise above it. If this sounds like a platitude, trust that I know what I am talking about. Continue going to mass if at all possible. ‘You know who’ won’t want you to or to grow in faith or spirit, but tell him to take a hike out of your life. Do not let him own you or any part of you. Own your graces and virtues that are offered to you freely. At the same time pray for your father and brother as this seem to be more than Asperger’s, but deep mental problems. I will pray for you and your family. Peace.
 
You say that you have no faith? I wish I had a tenth of your faith! Faith is the confidence in that which is unseen. You believe in God, despite (or perhaps because of) everything you’ve been through in life. Please, please believe as well that God believes in you.

You seek a sign? You have seen it. At Mass. “This is my body, which is given up for you.” That body, bruised and broken, was laid to rest and rose again on the third day. For us. For love of us. It is our ultimate hope as Christians that the same resurrection will occur for us. In the meantime, only one sacrifice is asked of you. To conform your own will to the will of God. This you are seeking to do. A dark night like this is a gift. Keep up with your studies.
 
You had faith enough to write this down my friend. I would suggest getting your sacraments and entering the church fully. May God Bless You.
 
I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. It might sound odd, but sometimes when God seems very far away from us, that’s when He’s the closest. Working silently on our behalf and for our good.

Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop going to church; recieve the Sacraments (when you’re able).

You might want to also start a prayer intention thread here. There are a lot of wonderful Prayer Warriors who will be more than happy to include you in their prayers!
 
Mary_Estelle said:
May I suggest that you read about the lives of the saints? More than a few had their purgatory here on earth. Everything is ‘fixable’ with Christ. Memories do not get erased, but hopefully they become ‘teaching’ and grace events for our selves and others.
You had a very bad life experience, but you can rise above it. If this sounds like a platitude, trust that I know what I am talking about. Continue going to mass if at all possible. ‘You know who’ won’t want you to or to grow in faith or spirit, but tell him to take a hike out of your life. Do not let him own you or any part of you. Own your graces and virtues that are offered to you freely. At the same time pray for your father and brother as this seem to be more than Asperger’s, but deep mental problems. I will pray for you and your family. Peace.
Click to expand...
thank you, i hope so and i will try to attend and involve myself in the faith again, i really appeciate you praying for me and my family.

May God bless you kind sir.
 
DeniseNY said:
I’m so sorry you’re going through all this. It might sound odd, but sometimes when God seems very far away from us, that’s when He’s the closest. Working silently on our behalf and for our good.

Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop going to church; recieve the Sacraments (when you’re able).

You might want to also start a prayer intention thread here. There are a lot of wonderful Prayer Warriors who will be more than happy to include you in their prayers!
Click to expand...
I will try and thank you for the suggesion also.
 
venite_adoremus said:
You say that you have no faith? I wish I had a tenth of your faith! Faith is the confidence in that which is unseen. You believe in God, despite (or perhaps because of) everything you’ve been through in life. Please, please believe as well that God believes in you.

You seek a sign? You have seen it. At Mass. “This is my body, which is given up for you.” That body, bruised and broken, was laid to rest and rose again on the third day. For us. For love of us. It is our ultimate hope as Christians that the same resurrection will occur for us. In the meantime, only one sacrifice is asked of you. To conform your own will to the will of God. This you are seeking to do. A dark night like this is a gift. Keep up with your studies.
Click to expand...
I’m really struggling right now, a lot of racing thoughts about daught, i guess being born into the world of advanced science is a factor, in someways i was expecting a sign to compensate for my little faith, i’ve never had a dream about God even after watching countless videos about him before falling asleep.
 
peaceandmercy said:
I’m really struggling right now, a lot of racing thoughts about daught, i guess being born into the world of advanced science is a factor, in someways i was expecting a sign to compensate for my little faith, i’ve never had a dream about God even after watching countless videos about him before falling asleep.
Click to expand...
What exactly sent you back into the Church. We miss God in the ordinary. Reflection might show that God was talking to us then.

As one author says The more we see, the more we will see.
 
I have always been taught that to look for signs from God are a challenge to His authenticity and divinity. I would also cut back on the videos on UTUBE. Don’t expect to have ‘dreams’ about God or the ways of God. He will call to you and make Himself known to you when you are ready. While signs and dreams are possible, they are not the norm for most of us. Let the Lord work in you in His way according to HIS will. He is already present to you in that you are seeking him.
I like UTUBE, too, but I like the cooking shows and some of the adventures shows as well as the Gospel songs. Peace and prayers.
 
Praise be to God and peace be with you my sister in Christ. You know without God’s grace you cannot even say His Holy name. Be really glad to know that He has called you to be His child. You’re like a bruised soldier always been fighting, never given up and wanting to be loved by Him. The good news is that He knows all that you’re going through and has given you His Spirit to face everything with peace in your heart and mind. God is always close to us even though we don’t feel. As said here, do not search for Him in worldly ways. He’s always with you, and never abandoned, He’s pained too when you suffer. When His peace rests in your heart, no one can take it from you. Pray as said. Do not heed to what is not from God. God is always with us, but we fail to see Him due to tribulations/own blindness. I very strongly urge you to go to BLESSED SACRAMENT EVERYDAY. Even if it for 5 mins, just go and be there in His presence, you don’t even need to tell him anything. Just be there… and you’ll know why I’m insisting you about this. Trust me, I’ve heard Non-Christian lady(a hindu) visiting Blessed Sacrament everyday and wonders happened in her life. Believe me when I say, you won’t be the same after you encounter Jesus!!! I recommend you to check and read about testimony of Catalina who had vision of The Holy Mass. Don’t stop praying or going to Mass even though you don’t feel anything. Remember what faith means… Although its good to watch Godly videos online or have dreams about Jesus, let not your faith and union with Jesus be based on the worldly ways. Kindly pray for others who might be going through same situation. I conclude for now with the following verse for you.

***"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 ***
 
Look up on YouTube “Fr Ripperger wounds” and “Fr Ripperger heaing.” Each of those should lead to appropriately named videos, each with 2 parts. I heard the healing ones first, just because I ran across them first, and they gave me hope, but do also listen to the wounds ones.

The first of each pair is more about psychology, the second gets into the spiritual aspects.

I hope these will help you.
 
Mary_Estelle said:
I have always been taught that to look for signs from God are a challenge to His authenticity and divinity. I would also cut back on the videos on UTUBE. Don’t expect to have ‘dreams’ about God or the ways of God. He will call to you and make Himself known to you when you are ready. While signs and dreams are possible, they are not the norm for most of us. Let the Lord work in you in His way according to HIS will. He is already present to you in that you are seeking him.
I like UTUBE, too, but I like the cooking shows and some of the adventures shows as well as the Gospel songs. Peace and prayers.
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Trying to place the Bible verse that explicitly forbids us to ask or signs/ Yes it IS a lack of trust that will destroy spiritual life

I knew a lovely old man once who had lost his beloved wife.He was spending hours and a small fortune lighting candles and begging for a sign she was safe.

I mentioned FAITH and his face lit up.

Faith is not about feelings. It is about actions and behaviour.
 
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