The Confessional is an entirely different experience. It could have just erased that sin from within me. While I might have continued to experience temptations afterward, the sins of the past would be gone, and even their temptation can be blunted afterward. I experienced that release from pornographic sin a few weeks ago when confessing this in the Confessional.
I feel as though when I became a Catholic, the experience I’d had of Jesus as a non-Catholic Christian was not in the least diminished. Rather, it was massively enhanced. I felt that I had come to the completeness of everything I had held most dear in Christianity. It is the completion of Christianity, I firmly believe. It is all that Christianity was meant by Christ to be, what He, His disciples and their successors taught that it should be.
I think your own spiritual battle would be radically changed if you took it to the Catholic Confessional. Unfortunately, I don’t think non-Catholics are allowed to partake of it unless they’re planning to become Catholic and are going through the RCIA.
I’ve experienced incredible things in the Catholic sacraments. There is nothing at all in the entire world like the Catholic Eucharist. Nothing so special, so precious. I don’t think you need a vision from Jesus- what you need, I believe, is the Catholic Eucharist. Only Catholics are allowed to partake of it, for the safety of non-Catholics, because it is so holy that it can harm those who have not been to the Catholic Confessional.
I had an experience about our Eucharist from the Lord only a few weeks ago, one night in Washington DC. I don’t know whether it was a dream or a vision, whether I was awake or asleep. At the time I experienced it, I felt absolutely certain I was awake. I’m not sure now. It felt vastly more real than any dream I’ve ever had. I feel sure that spiritually, it was real.
I saw the walls of the room where I was sleeping turn to glass, and through them I saw the Eucharist. Dark blood was flowing from the Eucharist, the blood of Jesus. A light from Heaven was shining down on the Eucharist.
I recommend exploring our faith, on this site or elsewhere. I think it will likely prove the completion of what you now believe and cherish, though it’ll probably startle you with things you aren’t used to. That’s what it was for me. Also, the Confessional is a life-changing experience, and I think it would prove a turning point in the spiritual battle you now fight.
The year or so battle over sexual darkness within me that I fought as a non-Catholic Christian was not necessary, for Christ provided us in the Confessional an easier way. The years of emotional scarring I endured because of having hurt those kids was also unnecessary and healed by God’s love in an instant.
I’m far from alone in this- the experiences of peace and transformation surrounding the Confessional are vast in numbers, impacting incredible numbers of Catholics around the world. I think there have been one or two threads about that created on this forum already. I recommend you look to these answers, and perhaps explore these concepts further (I don’t know how much you might already know, but there is a lot more to say about all of them) as you seek deeper intimacy with your Lord and mine.
God bless you

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