A wedding question

[lizaanne]

As for half of the guests not being Catholic and being put off by a full Mass… what are they (the immediate family of my fiance) going to do when they’re invited to each of our childrens first communions? (I have a problem with thinking too far ahead, but I figure I do that for a reason) But, just think of it… the grace that is poured out for the sacrament of marriage and then even more with Our Blessed Lord in the Sacrament of the Eucharist! Even as those who are not Catholic won’t be receiving the Eucharist… it may well be the only time they are in presence of it! Even if they don’t believe it is Our Lord, he is still there right in front of them! Perhaps I’m deluded but what a wonderful thing! It may not call any of them to convert to Catholicism, but what did Jesus say in reference to the children? Let them come to him, do not hinder them? I’d feel as if I was keeping something from them about my faith… I’d feel like I was lying to them… I’d feel like I’d be denying my religion, my God… the thought of that haunts me. Its difficult weighing the pros and cons… In addition to his family being protestant we both have a couple of family members who are Atheist and a couple who consider themselves Agnostic. So even though they don’t concern me a great deal I wouldn’t want to do anything to turn them away… I personally view a full Mass wedding as being an invitation to see Catholicism at its fullest. (of course I wouldn’t mind putting in a few more pages in the wedding program to explain the Eucharist… we’ll be making the programs ourselves so it wouldn’t add any wild cost)

You have the right idea here!! And don’t let anyone sway you from this - you are dead on when it comes to exposing people to the Truth in whatever form that may be. Souls have been converted this way!!! Invite those you love to sit in the presence of Almighty God! What an awesome gift - even if they don’t realize it or get it!



~Liza

 

[agapewolf]

I said it was important to me but I didn’t say why…

Other than importance of the Eucharist itself and all that I understand about it and Love… Our wedding will be on a Sunday. I don’t know how much time we will have before the wedding (with a lot preparation being done by ourselves and my family) to be able to go to the morning Mass. The reception site is about 30 minutes away from the Church and we’ll have things to prepare there such as the floral arrangements and center pieces, etc. I just don’t know how the time will work out for that. Otherwise, it just wouldn’t be the same.

that.

Would you actually skip mass on Sunday for the sake of doing flower arrangements and “preparation” for a wedding? Would you commit a mortal sin on your wedding day of missing your Sunday obligation because of a wedding?

 

[Angelstar]

Would you actually skip mass on Sunday for the sake of doing flower arrangements and “preparation” for a wedding? Would you commit a mortal sin on your wedding day of missing your Sunday obligation because of a wedding?

This is a HUGE practical reason why I want the Mass included in the Wedding. I have no idea how the day will go. It may be possible, if we can’t have the Mass included, for me to receive communion after the ceremony before the photographer takes pictures (as they usually take the traditional shots of the wedding party in the Church after the ceremony)… though my concern would be for family and when they’d be able to receive communion… you see my dilemma there?

 

[agapewolf]

This is a HUGE practical reason why I want the Mass included in the Wedding. I have no idea how the day will go. It may be possible, if we can’t have the Mass included, for me to receive communion after the ceremony before the photographer takes pictures (as they usually take the traditional shots of the wedding party in the Church after the ceremony)… though my concern would be for family and when they’d be able to receive communion… you see my dilemma there?

You are missing the problem here. THe obligation is NOT for you to receive communion, and working it in before the photographer. The problem here is you missing your sunday mass obligation, as well as your guests.

This isn’t just a “practical reason”. This is really really bizarre that you are being allowed to have a wedding on a Sunday that isn’t included in the parish SUnday liturgy. You MUST attend a full liturgy for your obligation.

You have got to stop worrying about flower arrangements and photographers and the time that you are trying to “slip in” Mass. Mass must be your first priority.

 

[Angelstar]

You are missing the problem here. THe obligation is NOT for you to receive communion, and working it in before the photographer. The problem here is you missing your sunday mass obligation, as well as your guests.

This isn’t just a “practical reason”. This is really really bizarre that you are being allowed to have a wedding on a Sunday that isn’t included in the parish SUnday liturgy. You MUST attend a full liturgy for your obligation.

You have got to stop worrying about flower arrangements and photographers and the time that you are trying to “slip in” Mass. Mass must be your first priority.

Wouldn’t a full Mass wedding include the liturgy?

Doesn’t it go something like:

Liturgy of the Word

The Marriage rite

Liturgy of the Eucharist

???

Also, is it slipping by you that Mass is my first priority, here? Or are you trying to be confrontational? Which is the vibe I’m getting from you… though correct me if I am wrong.

 

[Jesus_123]

As a church secretary for well over twenty years . . . I find the below section of your post more than a little puzzling . . . and somewhat disturbing . . .

Also, I’ll be going through RCIA this year and will be confirmed after the wedding. This is a big deal for me because it presents the opportunity for my fiance to go to the classes with me and as such, provides an opportunity for me to explain why a full Mass is important to me.

• ***You haven’t attended or completed RCIA yet . . . ? . . . ***
• *You haven’t been confirmed in the Catholic Church . . . ? . . . *
• You are taking Holy Communion anyway . . . ? . . .
• Have you been baptized . . . ? . . .

Please explain . . . how is it . . . that you . . . personally . . . are taking Holy Communion at this stage of your spiritual journey within the Catholic Church . . . ? . . .

The Catechism of the Catholic Church

**ARTICLE 2: THE SACRAMENT OF CONFIRMATION **

1285 Baptism, the Eucharist, and the sacrament of Confirmation together constitute the "sacraments of Christian initiation," whose unity must be safeguarded. It must be explained to the faithful that the reception of the sacrament of Confirmation is necessary for the completion of baptismal grace. 89 For “by the sacrament of Confirmation, [the baptized] are more perfectly bound to the Church and are enriched with a special strength of the Holy Spirit. Hence they are, as true witnesses of Christ, more strictly obliged to spread and defend the faith by word and deed.” 90

. . . all for Jesus+​

 

[daeve]

Other than being a Sunday, we don’t know when the wedding is. I took it to mean it was going to be after she was accepted into the Church. And she can go to Mass on Saturday for her obligation. I’m a little surprised there can be a wedding in a Catholic church on a Sunday. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.

 

[Angelstar]

As a church secretary for well over twenty years . . . I find the below section of your post more than a little puzzling . . . and somewhat disturbing . . . * ***You haven’t attended or completed RCIA yet . . . ? . . . ***

• You haven’t been confirmed in the Catholic Church . . . ? . . .
• You are taking Holy Communion anyway . . . ? . . .
• Have you been baptized . . . ? . . .

Please explain . . . how is it . . . that you . . . personally . . . are taking Holy Communion at this stage of your spiritual journey within the Catholic Church . . . ? . . .

. . . all for Jesus+​

Yes I have been baptized. I was baptized as an infant… the records are at the church where the wedding will be.

No, I have not received my confirmation yet.

No, I do not currently receive communion. Although I don’t see how that would be a problem (provided I ensure my soul to be in a state of grace by going to confession, etc.) since I received my first communion at the age of seven (my first confession was at this time as well).

 

[agapewolf]

Wouldn’t a full Mass wedding include the liturgy?

Doesn’t it go something like:

Liturgy of the Word

The Marriage rite

Liturgy of the Eucharist

???

Also, is it slipping by you that Mass is my first priority, here? Or are you trying to be confrontational? Which is the vibe I’m getting from you… though correct me if I am wrong.

But this is the very thing you seem to think is optional, and you are going to “fit in” going to communion before the photographer. You are so worried about setting things up and flowers and pictures, when you just want to go to communion for your obligation. You cannot do that.

You must go to mass for your sunday obligation. Read your other post again. It isn’t “slipping by me” that mass is your first priority. It simply isn’t, if you trully believe what you said in that post.

 

[agapewolf]

Other than importance of the Eucharist itself and all that I understand about it and Love… Our wedding will be on a Sunday. I don’t know how much time we will have before the wedding (with a lot preparation being done by ourselves and my family) to be able to go to the morning Mass. The reception site is about 30 minutes away from the Church and we’ll have things to prepare there such as the floral arrangements and center pieces, etc. I just don’t know how the time will work out for that. Otherwise, it just wouldn’t be the same.

This is a HUGE practical reason why I want the Mass included in the Wedding. I have no idea how the day will go. It may be possible, if we can’t have the Mass included, for me to receive communion after the ceremony before the photographer takes pictures (as they usually take the traditional shots of the wedding party in the Church after the ceremony)… though my concern would be for family and when they’d be able to receive communion… you see my dilemma there?

Can you see how you wrote this? You must go to mass on Saturday or Sunday. For the sake of your Catholic guests, have a Mass.

 

[kristanl]

First- she doesnt have to be confirmed to get married in a Catholic church, both parties must be baptized. (Is your fiance baptized? It doesnt have to be in the Catholic Church though).
Second- I have seen this on many Catholic churchs websites- Couples contemplating marriage should contact a priest or deacon at least six months before their desired wedding dateto begin a period of formation for this sacrament of Christ’s love for His Church. Is your date atleast 6 months away or have you talked to a priest?
Third- About the whole sunday mass obligation, a wedding (even one that falls on a Sunday) is not considered a Sunday mass. You will have preset readings (ones having to do with marriage, not the readings at the Church set for that date.)
Fourth- I have not heard of weddings at Catholic Churchs on Sundays, so please make sure you have checked with your Priest.
Fifth- I think it is a great idea to explain the Eucharist in your wedding program. However, some people may not read it so you still might need someone to speak about it. I would tell the immediate family though, so his parents arent shocked about anything. Just make sure your wedding party knows, and hopefull people will figure it out through that.
Hope this helps!

 

[agapewolf]

First- she doesnt have to be confirmed to get married in a Catholic church, both parties must be baptized. (Is your fiance baptized? It doesnt have to be in the Catholic Church though).

Third- About the whole sunday mass obligation, a wedding (even one that falls on a Sunday) is not considered a Sunday mass. You will have preset readings (ones having to do with marriage, not the readings at the Church set for that date.)

!

Both parties do not have to be baptized to be married in the catholic church. Both parties have to be baptized for it to be considered a sacrament.

A mass does not have to have the correct readings to meet the obligation. It has to take place during a certain time period. IF a wedding mass takes place on a Sunday, the readings must be the Sunday readings.

 

[kristanl]

Both parties do not have to be baptized to be married in the catholic church. Both parties have to be baptized for it to be considered a sacrament.

A mass does not have to have the correct readings to meet the obligation. It has to take place during a certain time period. IF a wedding mass takes place on a Sunday, the readings must be the Sunday readings.

Ok-well I kinda thought she wanted it to be a sacrament was why I said that!

And thats why I’m pretty sure weddings are not usually on Sunday. Because a wedding is counted as a Mass, but not a mass of obligation.
Have you ever been to a Sunday wedding?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

This whole thread is getting very bizarre.

To the OP:

Have you talked with a priest and have you set a wedding date with him?

I have never heard of a wedding taking place on a Sunday. There’s a very practical issue: priests and churches are tied up all morning. Priests are also limited in how many Masses they can celebrate in a day. And in my experience, by the time the noon Mass is over, the priests are exhausted.

If the wedding doesn’t take place on a Sunday it removes the whole issue of wanting a Mass solely so you can meet your Sunday obligation.

 

[Jesus_123]

Yes I have been baptized. I was baptized as an infant… the records are at the church where the wedding will be.

No, I have not received my confirmation yet.

No, I do not currently receive communion. Although I don’t see how that would be a problem (provided I ensure my soul to be in a state of grace by going to confession, etc.) since I received my first communion at the age of seven (my first confession was at this time as well).

Angelstar …you need to talk all this over with your priest . . . you don’t appear at this point to be very well informed in regard to the Catholic Church and its practices . . . which confusion will hopefully be cleared up during your RCIA classes . . . but right now you need to get together with your priest and let him guide you . . . both about your wedding and your standing in regard to the church . . . .

. . . all for Jesus+​

 

[Angelstar]

Angelstar …you need to talk all this over with your priest . . . you don’t appear at this point to be very well informed in regard to the Catholic Church and its practices . . . which confusion will hopefully be cleared up during your RCIA classes . . . but right now you need to get together with your priest and let him guide you . . . both about your wedding and your standing in regard to the church . . . .

. . . all for Jesus+​

I’m actually most incredibly confused by your posts and am not sure if you in fact are as well informed as you believe yourself to be and I’m quite insulted, really, at you asking me if I’ve even been baptized. (?!) As far as I have ever read in the Catechism, online sources, or even the most elementary books on Catholicism, I have never read anything that hinted to one not being allowed to receive communion prior to confirmation. Why on earth would my local parish have had me and the rest of my CCD class go through our first confession and Communion at the age of seven if we were first to be confirmed? Or are you eastern rite, where I understand they baptize, confirm, and give the Eucharist all at the same time?

To SuscipeMeDomine: Yes I have spoken with the Priest and we set the date with him before doing anything else. He is, in fact, the one who suggested a Sunday wedding due to certain considerations.

 

[Jesus_123]

+ You made such a big deal about wanting a Mass at your wedding . . . it didn’t occur to me from your first post that you were not actively participaqting in full communion with the Catholic Church right now . . . and participating in all aspects of the Holy Prayer of the Mass . . . that you are not has come out as the thread progressed . . .

First . . . * in RCIA classes there are often people who have never been baptized in accordance with Catholic Church criteria . . . yet consider themselves Christians . . .

• and there are many persons who come to RCIA who think (wrongly) that they are perfectly free to partake of Holy Communion in a Catholic Church . . . even though they are not Catholics . . .
• and . . . no . . . you do not need to be a confirmed Catholic to be granted the blessing by the Church to be able to partake of the Holy Eucharist . . . but there is a clear criteria that should be met should one be doing so . . . but then you say . . . after making a big deal out of wanting Holy Communioin at your wedding . . . that you are not currently receiving Holy Communion . . .
• and you do not seem to understand the holy obligation of Sunday Mass attendance and the potential of mortal sin consequences if you do not attend . . .
• and you are not willing to make time for a Holy Mass before your wedding because you are going to be too busy with other things to take time with the Lord in a Mass . . .

with all these irregularities . . . questions are just about all we are left with on this thread in regard to your spiritual walk . . . your sincerity . . . and your relationship with our Lord and the Catholic Church . . .

. . . all for Jesus+​

 

[agapewolf]

Ok-well I kinda thought she wanted it to be a sacrament was why I said that!

And thats why I’m pretty sure weddings are not usually on Sunday. Because a wedding is counted as a Mass, but not a mass of obligation.
Have you ever been to a Sunday wedding?

If a wedding were to take place late on Saturday (like 7 PM), it would count as a SUnday obligation.

 

[Angelstar]

+ You made such a big deal about wanting a Mass at your wedding . . . it didn’t occur to me from your first post that you were not actively participaqting in full communion with the Catholic Church right now . . . and participating in all aspects of the Holy Prayer of the Mass . . . that you are not has come out as the thread progressed . . .

First . . . * in RCIA classes there are often people who have never been baptized in accordance with Catholic Church criteria . . . yet consider themselves Christians . . .

• and there are many persons who come to RCIA who think (wrongly) that they are perfectly free to partake of Holy Communion in a Catholic Church . . . even though they are not Catholics . . .
• and . . . no . . . you do not need to be a confirmed Catholic to be granted the blessing by the Church to be able to partake of the Holy Eucharist . . . but there is a clear criteria that should be met should one be doing so . . . but then you say . . . after making a big deal out of wanting Holy Communioin at your wedding . . . that you are not currently receiving Holy Communion . . .
• and you do not seem to understand the holy obligation of Sunday Mass attendance and the potential of mortal sin consequences if you do not attend . . .
• and you are not willing to make time for a Holy Mass before your wedding because you are going to be too busy with other things to take time with the Lord in a Mass . . .

with all these irregularities . . . questions are just about all we are left with on this thread in regard to your spiritual walk . . . your sincerity . . . and your relationship with our Lord and the Catholic Church . . .

. . . all for Jesus+​

What an attitude to have! Truly! I’m in pursuit of a better spiritual life and you’re cutting me down for it? Think, please.

I was home schooled with a Catholic curriculum, however, our parish wouldn’t accept our religious education preferring I go through the CCD classes. We didn’t know that until later so I wasn’t confirmed at 16 or 17 like most others, so I’m going through RCIA now (which turns out to be a good thing because it presents my fiancé with a greater opportunity to learn more about me and my faith. God has a plan for everything).

No, I am not currently receiving communion. There are certain circumstances in my life right now which hold me back spiritually from receiving communion. These are circumstances which I am addressing at this time to prepare myself for the sacrament of Marriage… consequently it will also prepare me for the sacrament of the Eucharist. You have a problem with this? Then perhaps you’ll throw the first stone. We don’t always live rightly, but those who wish to correct themselves should not be chastised for it.

As for not taking the time on the day of the wedding to partake in a Holy Mass… did it slip by you that I want the full Mass for the wedding for this very reason? On this very website the question has been asked of whether a Saturday afternoon wedding would fulfill the Sunday obligation or not… as well as a question regarding a Sunday Nuptial mass fulfilling Sunday obligation and the answer (quite shockingly perhaps for you) was yes.

I don’t, in the least, appreciate being insulted.

 

[passus]

If a wedding were to take place late on Saturday (like 7 PM), it would count as a SUnday obligation.

No, it would not.