The fallacy in your argument is the faulty assumption that we’re discussing a habit.
Obsessions are not habits.
Even if you do not buy the “allergy” idea - some sort of chemical hook that makes a person’s reaction alcohol physiologically different between people - you would be mistaken (gravely so) if you think that a man drinking himself literally to death is simply unable to break a bad habit. It’s a mental obsession that requires a two pronged solution - abstinence tied with spiritual balance. Because (for whatever reason) alcoholics cannot take that first drink without grave consequences (if left to their own devices.)
This is basically what I believe about alcoholism.
It is part compulsion, part addiction (some people seem to be more susceptible than others), part bad habit (one can become an alcoholic-type drinker if conditions are right). It destroys lives - the alcoholic’s life and the people around him/her who are trying to control the compulsion and mop up the mess created by the alcoholic.
Alcoholics sometimes try for years, even decades, to stop or control their drinking. Like Bill W., they think if they can just do this or that, they will be able to break their compulsion, but it doesn’t work. They feel helpless and that drives them back to the alcohol. For whatever reason, admitting they are powerless in their efforts to stop drinking is a relief within their obsessed minds. It may be the first time they have heard THE TRUTH in a very long time. They truly do not know how to stop drinking, and everything they have tried, does not work, or does not work for long. They are disheartened, discouraged, and in despair. All the things they do while drinking are causing so many problems, yet they still crave that drink. And the next one, and the next. When they are sober, they regret what they do, and yet…the drink lures them back, time and time again.
The 12 steps are one plan for an alcoholic to get his/her life back on track, once the decision is made to stop drinking once and for all. But that decision can be so difficult, that the mind of an alcoholic can only face it one day at a time. It is overwhelming to think, “I can NEVER drink again.” It is not as overwhelming to think, “Right now, I am not going to drink.” And moment by moment, the “right nows” add up, and pretty soon the alcoholic can face the rest of the steps and cleaning up his life.
I don’t understand people who are so critical of AA. It helps many people quit drinking and stay sober. The 12 Steps help other addictions as well. They are quite Catholic in nature - the 4th Step (Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves) is an examination of conscience and the 5th Step (Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs) is confession (although since everyone is not Catholic, it’s permitted to confess to a trusted person such as a sponsor). Many Catholics will go ahead and do their 5th Step with a priest.
Sure, AA is “spiritual” and not religious. That way, even atheists can use the Steps with success. A lot of alcoholics and their families have had very negative experiences with God, with churches or organized religion. If AA or Al-Anon were a religious program, they’d have no options. Sure, some people come into an AA meeting angry at God for not keeping them from drinking. That’s OK. They can call God whatever they want. Those of us who know Him better are OK with that. I hear in Al-Anon meetings, “I had to find another God,” than the God of their childhood whom they interpret to be judging, condemning, etc. Well, it was always their own misunderstanding of who God is, but I just turn that over to God to sort out.
What thinking of alcoholism as a disease accomplishes is taking the responsibility for fixing them OFF of the shoulders of the people who loved them. The slogan is “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it.” The alcoholic must be the one who seeks and maintains his/her own sobriety, rather like how someone with diabetes must change their diet, control their blood sugars, and take care of themselves. Or someone with a known heart condition must cooperate with their doctors’ recommendations. Yet, the alcoholic can think of his problem as something he is not in total control of, because the reality is, he is not. The mental image I like to think of is someone dancing with a bear. Maybe AA turns the bear into a teddy bear, but you can’t just walk away when the bear’s claws are in your back.
I do know of people who have stopped drinking without any other support. So yes, it can be done. But those people are the exception and not the rule. Drinking is an isolating action to begin with, so breaking the isolation is itself very helpful, for the alcoholic and for their families and friends. Just knowing that you are NOT alone, that others have been where you are, and have made it out the other side, and lived to tell the tale (and with a great sense of humor!) gives one a great deal of hope.
I am very curious to know what CopticChristian would offer alcoholics and their families instead of AA. Would he give every alcoholic a copy of the Catechism? What does he suggest, especially considering most people cannot possibly afford one of the fancy detox centers? Extensive therapy? Weekly meetings with a priest? Daily Mass? Then what about the people who are Protestants, or Jews, or Satanists? Do they not deserve sobriety because they are not Catholic? What exactly would CopticChristian suggest that an alcoholic do, on a daily basis, to get and stay sober?
